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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:02:24 AM | | But I'm not healthy - I have Lyme. Even so, I'm not sure this is the Lyme. Maybe I have BABESIA? - or BARTONELLA? - or EHRLICHIA? Or maybe I really do have feelings for him, and he has feelings for me, but it's just the situation - or maybe the timing? Who knows. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:25:11 AM | First of all, I had a heck of a time figuring out quotes until someone explained it to me like this. Do exactly this:
[quotte]heck[/quotte]
Now remove the second t in each quote. Do NOT put spaces between the words.
heck
Send yourself a message and you'll find heck highlighted! If it takes practice, in this way you won't use up your allotted space in this thread.
Blaze, I can understand your sensitivity to my statements. I am, in effect, bursting your bubble. I have never appreciated people bursting my own bubbles.
However, you did come here for feedback, and I gave it to you. Please just file it away, rather than reject it summarily.
I'm sure you didn't imagine the doctor's sexual interest. However, that's all it was---fleeting interest. Men can get hard over a good-looking woman on a bus. I'm sorry if that sounds brutal. He at least had the ethics not to follow his genitals.
Sweetie, I've been EXACTLY where you are at, more than once. It's not like I'm casting stones, because then I'd have to throw them right back at myself. It's precisely BECAUSE I've been where you are that I feel for you, and offered the wisdom that I learned the hard way.
IF HE WANTED TO BE WITH YOU, HE WOULD BE.
Give yourself a good look in the mirror and tell yourself that YOU DESERVE BETTER. Every moment you spend thinking about this man is WASTED TIME. Don't you deserve better from your life?
As for my comment about your health issues, I myself have fibromyalgia and arthitis. I am hardly saying that you are not worthy of a relationship. I'm saying that doctors have women throwing themselves at them all the time, because unfortunately, there are women who find financial status to be an aphrodisiac (you know, the Mrs. Dr. thing).
Why would he go for a woman with health issues when he can take his pick of healthier women? Is that fair? NO. Is it reality? YES. Sometimes reality sucks.
Believe me, Blaze, I'm on your side. Best of luck to you. | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 29 | |
| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:41:15 AM | Blaze; I read up on lyme disease; among the symptoms:
Confusion, difficulty in thinking, difficulty in concentrating, difficulty with sticking with task
Difficulty with concentration
Disorientation
Mood swings, irritability, depression
Exaggerated symptoms or worse hangover from alcohol
Isn't it possible with these symptoms to have imagined what you believe?
You yourself claimed to have lyme disease; look: Confusion, difficulty in thinking
& concentrating, concentration, disorientation, depression, exaggerated
symptoms. Can't you just open yourself up to the possibility that your
thought process is damaged? For me, if I had Lyme disease, I'd be off
the market considering I wouldn't trust any of my thoughts.
Also consider this; married men or guys seeing other women do flirt with
women all the time. I DO! But really, I don't want anything to do with
them beyond a playful flirtation. I have a wife! We guys are like that and
so are many women. Try not to take it so seriously. It is POSSIBLE he
lost control of himself and regretted his actions. Forgive him for it and
move on. He hasn't called you in 2 years and he won't call you for another
30. No call tommorow, girl. Open your heart to other men who'd do nothing
to stop themselves from wanting to be with you. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/30/2006 12:17:45 PM | Since you seem to be romantically interested in two doctors, seems you have an attraction for either medical or other professionals. I thought there was a term for it, but googling got me zilch. It's the same thing with therapists, sometimes attorneys.
Maybe it's because they're in helping type professions, who knows? Happens to men and women. Best suggestion would be to try to keep in mind that professional help and personal interest are best kept separate. Maybe try to find a female neurologist.  | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/30/2006 12:41:32 PM | by the way things sound.. you should try to move on..
maybe.. if you want to leave the door open.. what you can do is this
leave a msg.. not a sobbing one just say... a.. nonchalant msg stating... you are interested, and still are, but nothing can happen if he does not call.. tell him the door will be open and leave your number and thats that
with that said.. all you can do IS move on after that.. go thru the cycle of getting over someone and that is it. if he calls good, if not... there is plenty of fish in the sea... no point in stalling in your life over one person when you are destined to meet many ppl in this world | |
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| Take two asprins
Posted: 12/30/2006 12:44:50 PM | | There's a lot of good advise in these postings. You can't force things to happen. It has to be the willingness of two or it'll come back to bit you. . Maybe another place or time. Take two asprins and move on... | |
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| Take two asprins
Posted: 12/30/2006 2:32:22 PM |
Nobody has yet to explain why he hasn't changed his number
Why should he?
Can you imagine the trouble changing his number would cause to his contacts, hospitals, peers?
Sometimes patients can look toward the one healing them as their saviour, the one that understood and the one that fixed things.
If it were me, I would cry a ton, get a grip and let it go.
Time heals all wounds.
^^BG^^ | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/30/2006 2:46:57 PM | You likely did feel something...you were aware of energy on some level. Perhaps he struggled, likely due to the professional implications, which are significant, and a number of other factors.
Long story short though, he is giving you nothing to work with. He knows where you are and knows how to reach you.
I know that can be tough, but the truth always is.
You are beautiful and intelligent. You will find what you need.
Happy New Year | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:06:16 PM | "Nobody has yet to explain why he hasn't changed his number (since I'm so dangerous and all) or called the police if he thinks I'm a horrible person (and he would know me better than any of you).
You can all argue the interpretation of things he said and did, but don't any of you find the fact that he accepts my calls a little odd?"
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First of all ,he has a business and professional contacts whom he may only talk with once a year or so.As well as explain to all his contacts on why he has to change his number.
Second,calling the police.In a womans world it can be all on asumption and have a restraining order put up in a minute. Believe me,in a mans world it is very diferent.
I had a ex gf who i haden't talked with in two years start stalking me and showing up on my doorstep scaring my kids. I called the police and was refered to someone else as they would or could do nothing.The bottom line was,i had to wait till she actualy did somthing dangerous and then i could take her to court and get one if i was lucky.
Some people flirt to flirt and that is all. Not what i do or agree with but it happens.
Take a look in here http://www.cpso.on.ca/ and you can see how many doctors are going court over relationships and malpractice.I must say i was very surprised. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/30/2006 6:14:41 PM | In response to Sinnamontears......of course opinions vary right.....???? I said..."Please go and find another good doctor....and explain all this to her.....some patients have obtained legal representation over stuff like this.....of course opinions vary....
Actually, I believe this lady......of course others do not....and that is what makes us all individuals.....different viewpoints....and of course people respect each other for that right?...:))
The odds might be very low...but what if this doctor is totally responsible for her condition/ situation and is just drewling all over her messages....what an ego boost.....anyway....again that is just one side of the story.....and there is such a thing as putting a block on certain incoming phone calls too......yes,,,and yes, it is all doctors responsibilities if a patient or person is a danger to themselves or is out of control to contact the proper people to help this person.....(I believe doctors take an oath?)of course, opinions vary...
But the point here is the OP needs some help as this situation is controlling her...has absorbed her.....why would she post such a thing....? So again Sinnamontears the reason to go and see a doctor for this talk.
As for the people siting symptomologies and putting this lady down.....I think she has hit rock bottom here and needs some support...I am quite sure she has done a self-analysis of this situation.......being the only one on here that believes her is odd.......
Of course she has to move forward with her life......and she has trouble doing this.....so ways to overcome this obstacle from POF ers....might be benificial to her......
Anyway...hope things work out for you.
0:)
PS Question is: What happens if this doctor really took advantage of this woman....and this woman is not heard? | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:37:39 PM | ^^^ how did the doctor take advantage of her?? He has never touched her or given her any encouragement except for her own interpretation of the way he "looks" at her. By her own admission this has gone on for years, a one way communication with no actual reciprocation.
Ways to overcome this obstacle? Perhaps seek help from a professional and try and step back from the situation and be objective. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/30/2006 11:42:51 PM |
He at least had the ethics not to follow his genitals.
Apparently I don't here because my genitals must have gotten the better of me;) jk
No seriously though - why is it illegal for a doctor to date a patient anyway? They say it's to protect 'me', but really, it's to protect the doctor. So basically MONEY. There is no more logic in telling doctors they can't date a patient than in telling priests they can't marry. I mean - think about it.
Unlike the rest of the world, I don't elevate doctors to this level of GODLINESS society has imposed on me. I think the laws that say we can't date are plain stupid. And right there is why he hasn't pursued this. If I were him I'd have at least changed my phone number. I don't care how difficult changing my number would be - if I was scared, I'd either call the police or just change it. He's not my doctor anymore so he has no legal responsibility to me even in that regard.
there are women who find financial status to be an aphrodisiac (you know, the Mrs. Dr. thing).
All the more reason to pick me. If I get to go to the local Goodwill store every week for clothes, I'm happy.
He already knows I'm not impressed with his money. I think that's part of what he likes about me - I think this kind of response from a woman was refreshingly 'new' to him - it took me by surprise, too. The fact that he had a dog, was smart, and we just 'clicked' mattered to me. That's all that mattered to me - though most of you will never believe that because you don't know me. My ex husband would tell you how low maintenance I am.
My best friend believes me though. She was the one who told me to go ahead and ask him out just from the things I was telling her he had said or done.
Why would he go for a woman with health issues when he can take his pick of healthier women?
Because he's a doctor and we all will have health issues eventually. But mostly, because we 'clicked'.
Isn't it possible with these symptoms to have imagined what you believe?
Not a chance. I did not imagine this - Lyme or no Lyme. I do think it is possible that he did lose control though to some extent and regrets it. I don't think he ever thought I would act on what maybe he saw as something harmless. Maybe in that sense he cares because he sort of led me on in a way. I don't really know though and can't say that for certain. I do know how he looked at me from that conference room. There was no mistaking that as chemical energy. And I still can't forget his look the last time I saw him - I mean, he practically stared a hole right through me. He wouldn't let me leave until he was finished staring through me. What do you think he was trying to tell me?
You are also displaying classic symptoms of another particular syndrome.
Google: De Clèrambault's syndrome or erotomania for more info.
I don't believe in any of this stuff. What tests confirm any of these? It's all 'opinion' of people just like me - only with degrees which makes their opinion somehow more 'valid', yet still unproven scientifically. Bottom line is doctors are people, too - with feelings and desires just like the rest of us - feelings which cannot be 'taught' away.
Since you seem to be romantically interested in two doctors
I only ever was romantically interested in one doctor. I saw this doctor in two 'clips' - same doctor. I've also had a romantic interest in a floor covering guy, a truck driver, should I continue? My point is - it ain't the doctor part that turns me on. By the way, it's called 'transference' - falling for your doctor - which is bogus anyway. I'm a woman. He's a man. Those two facts override every other possible factor. We were put on this earth to mate. Bottom line. Science is just calling 'instinct' here something sick.
Actually, I believe this lady.
God bless you, bk2!;) Finally, someone who believes me!
Look, the doctor did not touch me. I never claimed he did. He was totally respectable in the manner he treated me. I don't exactly picture him drooling over my calls either, though I imagine, at least initially, he was flattered as anyone would be. You're reading me all wrong here. I do know he cares about me in some strange capacity (be it romantic or otherwise) - otherwise, he would not allow me to be contacting him 2 years after the fact.
It's possible he only accepts my calls because he feels badly about the way he ended our doctor-patient relationship. That could even be what his 'look' meant - I was losing weight rapidly - he may have thought I was anorexic because I had not yet been diagnosed with Lyme. But to question me as to whether or not the 'look' was a 'look' - like I said, I know what I saw. I was there. You were not.
Thanks though for the quote instructions - let's see if this works! | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 12:06:50 AM | By the way, I read a book on 'transference' between doctors and patients, too. At one time it was unethical but still legal to date a patient. None of this changed until the number of lawsuits against doctors went up - patients claiming they were taken advantage of. So essentially these laws were created simply to protect 'money', though I am not sure if this would apply to him since he was not a psychiatrist or psychotherapist.
The laws only apply to those two. I believe the doctor-patient relationship must have ended for a period of time (at least 6 months, but 2 years is recommended) before a doctor can date a former patient. I'm coming up on the 2 year point here soon.
Whether or not it is legal is stupid if you think about it anyway. It's one law I'd break in a heartbeat. I shouldn't be lumped into a pile of gold-digging women, just because there are women out there who would exploit the situation.
I would never sue him - he even was one of the doctors who missed my Lyme. Fact is though, he was the ONLY doctor who believed I was sick. Conversely, I fully intended to sue every other doctor I had seen - they were sending me to shrinks for my 'psychosomatic tendencies'. This neurologist will always have my heart - if for nothing else, for simply believing me. | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 43 | |
| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 12:11:49 AM | I imagine that in a psychiatric community, women in counselling make
for easy dates.
There was a hospital about 40 minutes from my house for mental patients
and it attracted perverts from all over. Women patients would climb
into cars with total strangers and perform sexual acts on them until
security got beefed up.
So, you could imagine why so many psychiatrists have been sued by
former and current patients. Their lawyers accused them of sexual-misconduct
because they knew the intimate vulnerabilities of these women and took
advantage of them. So, it's not just about money - it's an ethical
issue. It prevents pervert doctors from turning their clinics into
their own private brothels.
Any good lawyer would sue this doctor not giving a rats ass if you
indeed had the symptom of depression common in lyme disease. He'd
just show the jury the list of vulnerabilities these patience have
and then put Dr Strangelove in the poor house after he got out of
jail. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 12:56:29 AM | Nope. I disagree ewok123.
It's not as easy to prove something like this as you are implying. Do you realize upwards of 35 doctors missed my Lyme Disease and I have no case against even one? And yes, I would happily sue every doctor who thought I was some kind of nut just imagining I was sick. Proving something in court has to be cut and dry nowadays. It's not as simple as you make it sound - especially with sexual allegations.
And why should I have to pay for what other doctors and patients did to each other? If I can't date my doctor because of his 'power', I should not be able to date my employer or anyone with any effect on my life outside the dating relationship. Where do you draw the line here?
By the way, this doc was NOT on my 'to be sued' list. He was the only doctor who believed me. | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 1:35:17 AM | And why should I have to pay for what other doctors and patients did to each other?
You can introduce a notwithstanding clause to the constitution called
the Blaze0811 Bill that would permit doctors to only date one patient - you.
Do you realize upwards of 35 doctors missed my Lyme Disease
Yes, many doctors are incompetent. I was misdiagnosed myself and took
5 doctors to figure out I had a problem with my thyroid.
He was the only doctor who believed me.
My last doctor was the only one who listened to me too....I didn't want
to date her although I was very impressed with her. And she
too told me I had a "cute face"......LOL but now I'm probably only
encouraging you. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 8:50:35 AM |
But mostly, because we 'clicked'
how do you know you clicked? Because of a few office visits where you think you saw something in his eyes?
He is no longer your doctor, IF he was going to reciprocate your feelings, he can.....he hasn't.
Don't waste your life on this obsession. You are an attractive, articulate woman. You maybe lonely but this isn't a way to fulfill your life. Let it go. For the sake of your mental health, Let it go. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 5:52:58 PM |
You can introduce a notwithstanding clause to the constitution called
the Blaze0811 Bill that would permit doctors to only date one patient - you.
Really? Cool! I'm on it;)
Your assumption though here is that I wanted to date this doctor 'because' he was a doctor, and that's just plain wrong. Lots of non-doc guys have shown an interest in me, and there just isn't anything there. If there was though, I'd pursue it. Lots of guys think I'm cute, and there just isn't anything there. If there was though, I'd pursue it. Like I said - he's a man - I'm a woman. What the hell difference does it make if he's a doctor or a plumber? Who CAN this doctor date? - only other doctors? - only other wealthy people? - only Jewish women? Do you even hear yourself?
I've fallen for Navy recruits, floor covering guys, and cement truck drivers. You have my motives here all wrong. It's not the money or the status, though intelligence and kindness - and for some reason, voice is important to me. I love his voice.
But I'm not a materialistic person. In fact, when I was married, our savings account always went up when my husband was deployed for that reason.
Because of a few office visits where you think you saw something in his eyes?
I don't 'think'. I KNOW. You had to be there, I guess. He didn't just look at me. I got angry because he was ending the doctor-patient relationship because I'd found him on JDate. I got out of my chair. He quickly moved between me and the door. He had his hand on the doorknob, but he did not open the door right away. There was a lengthy pause during which he looked at me. I can usually outstare a guy, but this time I couldn't. So I looked away, and then I looked back. He wasn't saying anything, but his face was.
I don't know. Maybe he wasn't saying to 'Be patient - I'll date you eventually'. Maybe he was just saying 'I'm sorry I have to do this' by his 'look'. But I know in my heart that his 'look' meant something.
C'mon now, people - you can't tell me that you have never communicated something to somebody with just a 'look' or received communication from someone in this manner. Communication is not just words - it's a variety of factors that attribute meaning to any encounter.
Even spoken word can mean different things. Take the following sentence:
My neurologist is freaking hot.
Look how different the meaning is depending on which word is emphasized:
MY neurologist is freaking hot. (In other words, yours isn't.)
My NEUROLOGIST is freaking hot. (In other words, not my chiropractor, not my rheumatologist, and so on.)
My neurologist is freaking HOT. (In other words, he really rocks my freaking world here!)
I read a book once - I think it was called 'The Art of Verbal Self Defense'. Be it words, looks, gut feelings - humans by nature communicate in ways much deeper than just words. I mean, how do people who are deaf and can't speak communicate? Even people with voices communicate beyond their spoken words. Don't you all see that?
I do. And I know he was trying to tell me something. I just don't know what. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 7:21:46 PM | And I know he was trying to tell me something. I just don't know what.
He was trying to tell you that he wished it were another place, another time, another life.
But it isn't.
You need to accept that this man is not available to you. If you had more self confidence, you would realize that you deserve better then someone who is not available. You are a beautiful person who deserves more. Don't continue to waste your time on someone who doesn't want to waste their time on you. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 7:38:54 PM | You're a nut case.
QUIT replaying everything -
I just keep replaying everything over and over in my head - what did I do wrong?
This is the stuff psychos are made of.....
Give it up.
I called and left him two messages today - 'Happy New Year' and 'I miss you'. Why hasn't he blocked me?
He's saving it all for evidence to submit to the Board, d'oh!!!
Get a shrink instead for OCD, 3 pages of this banter with you is INSANE!!!!!!  | |
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