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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:01:01 PM | Thanks, gardennut - I know you mean well, but these people were not there. And I don't feel like I've lost ANY dignity here at all - quite the contrary.
And I was thinking - nobody on here seems to think it's odd that I even found this doctor on JDate to begin with? I created my JDate profile with the hope of finding this doctor there because I had a hunch this doctor was Jewish, but I wasn't sure. He wasn't there, or at least I didn't find him there that time.
It wasn't until several MONTHS - like 9 months later - when I had actually subscribed for a period of time that I actually found his profile on JDate. I wasn't looking for him, but within 2 weeks of subscribing (only after expanding my search range to include other areas), there he was! I don't think this was some sort of 'accident' either. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:05:24 PM |
I came off all of my psychotropic medications because they were making me crazy
me thinks maybe you should have stopped sooner.
I've read some of your other posts. Even the several others you have started besides this one. You seem to have an unusual anger towards men in general, and particularly men in research positions.
Basically, some guy with a fancy degree sits down and basically comes up with a fancy name for a 'new' disorder.
From your post of 12/30
Well, sort of;) Check this out. 'Male-dominated' science has upheld this myth that women stop producing eggs at some point.
Either you are seriously delusional, or this is just a muse for you to draw attention to yourself. As your own profile states, you are especially lonely lately. Although this isn't great attention, it's attention nonetheless.
If any of your beliefs on this docs feelings for you are anywhere close to accurate, then your post on oral sex will make him run.
I can't believe there are actually women who 'really' love it. Are you serious?
Does it taste good? Nope. Just because it doesn't taste bad doesn't mean it tastes good.
Even the good doc would like a great BJ once in a while.
peace | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/2/2007 9:22:37 PM |
I have NO DOUBT this doctor has saved my every message to him - and my cards, essays, etc... I do the same thing when I love someone.
Do you really believe that he just looked at you and fell in love? As someone said earlier, of course it is possible that he thought you were a cutie patootie. Lots of men look. Its what men do. They are visual creatures. Just cos they think you are cute, doesn't mean they are in love.
Don't you believe that someone has to get to know someone to really fall in love? What do you know about him? What does he really know about you, except your medical problems? If someone is interested....they SHOW interest. They don't ignore you. Its not rocket science.
You are wasting your life doing this. And instead of giving another guy a chance, you are holding out for a fantasy. I am sorry if this sounds harsh but unrequited love is one of the great tragedies of the human condition. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/2/2007 10:15:28 PM |
You seem to have an unusual anger towards men in general, and particularly men in research positions.
Now you're pretty brilliant here. Hmmm? Let's dissect this a little - for years I've been treated for 'depression', 'anxiety', 'obsessive-compulsive disorder', 'psychosomatic tendencies' - shall I go on? - only to discover this September that I'd been walking around with chronic Lyme Disease all along - a serious infection of the nervous system.
In fact, several years ago when I tried coming off a benzo I had been on for many years for anxiety, my body would basically convulse on me. So I went to my doctor (not this one) and told HER (<-- key word here;) that I had thought I had become 'dependent' on the medication. She (<--) would not prescribe it for me because of my 'dependence' issues, even though before I opened my mouth about my 'convulsions', there had never been a problem in obtaining the medication in the past from her and I was not abusing it. She (<--) told me to see a shrink and left me hanging because the closest shrink who took my insurance and was willing to prescribe the medication was in another STATE.
I won't go into all the details here - but more recently, when I had developed all sorts of health concerns and all doctors seemed to want to do was to continue the 'mental' diagnostics of me - while I'm dropping to 88 lbs (and being accused of ANOREXIA), while my endocrine system is in complete shut-down throwing me into a sort of PSEUDOMENOPAUSE (at 41), while my bones are thinning from VITAMIN DEFICIENCIES (A and D - to be exact), and there's a LESION on my liver (but 'just' a little 2mm one), and my hair is falling out in GOBS (again, completely 'normal'), and I walk in practically SCREAMING that I need antibiotics - not a single doctor here would even CONSIDER the possibility, however 'remote', that I could be right and that I really was 'physically' ill. Most tests were within normal parameters, yet every one of my doctors felt that he/she had my best interests at heart in recommending counseling.
I looked like I was dying - literally. My family saw it - my neighbors said things - yet somehow most of these doctors could not concede that I was 'physically' ill. In fact, it got so bad that I didn't think a single doctor would EVER take any of my complaints seriously UNLESS I cold-turkeyed the stupid long term benzo - which is EXACTLY what I did. I learned something in the process, too - there is no such thing as 'benzo dependence'. If a person starts twitching while coming off a benzo, chances are their doctors were simply suppressing the symptoms of some sort of chronic infection of the nervous system - be it bacterial, fungal, or viral.
I went to bed some nights wondering if I'd even wake up. I can't even credit a doctor - male or female - for my eventual diagnosis of Lyme Disease because I figured it out myself, ordered the test kit, and basically found a doctor far away from where I live to run the stupid test.
So YES - I do admittedly have a problem with 'science' in general here. And YES - some men p*** me off. And YES - some women even p*** me off. And it would stand to reason then that 'some' male doctors and 'some' female doctors really p*** me off, too. Are you following me here? Or maybe 'science' has some kind of problem with me? - that would seem to be more accurate, don't you think?
And before you pounce again, I asked this doctor in question out long before my health went south and my attitudes about 'science' ever came to fruition. At least this doctor believed me - and no, this is not at all why I fell for him.
If any of your beliefs on this docs feelings for you are anywhere close to accurate, then your post on oral sex will make him run.
If I didn't know some women 'really' like oral sex, how can you be so sure this doctor does? And I still believe the reason women 'say' they like it is - well, go read my posts.
I'm guessing he probably does. But I'm not going to sit there and lie and tell him it tastes like chocolate either when it's freaking BITTER as all hell - just like you guys don't seem to want to tell a woman that her 'stache' is beautiful either, though I AM doing everything humanely possible to see if I can turn you guys around there - no luck yet - makes me wonder if you guys 'really' turned us all around on the oral sex issue, and if so, HOW you were able to even do this, given your own 'high' standards on the 'stache' issue. Did you ever taste that stuff?
But I would do it for him because I love him - though I would not swallow under ANY circumstances. I think I have that in my post, too. Got it? My sin here?
And besides, what concern is it of yours anyway whether or not this doctor gets oral from me? Do you know him or something?
How many guys have you turned down waiting for this man?
I was just diagnosed with Lyme back in September, so I haven't really been actively looking. Of those that happened to wander into my life though - maybe 2 or 3 - but I was not attracted to them anyway.
Do you really believe that he just looked at you and fell in love?
No - not at all. This occurred over a period of time - perhaps a year or longer. I forget the exact time frame. It's not like I walked into his office the first day of that second 'clip' and just decided that day that I was madly in love with him either.
He probably knows more about me than he would EVER want to know, assuming you people are right and he has no interest in me whatsoever;) Though my visits with him did involve typical medical banter, we also sometimes got off topic or one of us would interject something of more personal significance.
I know he has a dog - two actually - he was caring for his ex-girlfriend's dog. I know he dated a psychiatrist at some point in time - quite possibly the dog owner, though I'm not sure of that. I know he wanted to be a psychiatrist himself. I know 2 year's ago he was getting close to needing reading glasses. I also know some things from reading his JDate profile, but I won't include those because he didn't tell me these things himself.
But this is stupid - I wouldn't really matter if I could list 2 facts about him or 200. All this took place in a doctor's office setting, so of course I'm probably not going to know too many specifics. My point is I'm not claiming to know everything about him or vice versa - that's the reason we 'date'. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/3/2007 2:19:46 PM | Totally agree with you Ignominious.....
i think he is flattered by the attention and if he is single maybe he is getting off on the fact that someone wants him this bad.... he is human after all. I would move on , it has been going on way too long, he would have made his move a long time ago. Don't waste your time! | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/3/2007 2:40:02 PM | how is it that now our opinions are considered "taunts"?
She asked for opinions and perhaps it will help with her internal dialogue to hear others opinions?
The problem is that even though suggestions are made about the psychology involved,
she doesn't recognise psychology as a science even. So now she has to just come to
terms with the fact that even if the guy had a twinkle in his eye for her once, I am sure
in the last couple of years being a single doctor and being on JDate, he has probably found
someone and its time for her to be realistic and move on. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/3/2007 4:30:08 PM |
(I am going to be reading those other sites with the information about your disease - it's pretty scary sounding.)
You mean it's scarier than your post here?
Okay... so the Doctor looked at you - let's call that observation. It's what they do.
So what's it called if a guy in a bar looks at me for an extended period of time, even when I look away? Something different?
I saw my physician this past year and he was perceptive enough and kind enough to give me a big hug.
So why didn't you ask him out? I would have. Can you give me his number at least?
Do you find the truth scary? My post is my opinion. That's all ...
you think this doctor is in love with you and that Lyme Disease is less scary than our responses?
Do you really not know the difference between eye contact in a doctor's office and in a bar?
No, I will not give you his number. Continue with the one doctor that is so in love with you that he won't return (or even answer) your calls.
Your next doctor needs to be a specialist ... you are really too whack to take seriously.
And of course you will believe he's SPECIAL too. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/3/2007 9:27:33 PM | First of all, I find it interesting how everybody here seems to think this is 'transference' (a disease), yet the same people who think it's this crazy disease also have pointed out how they think the doctor is probably 'getting off' on this and flattered - 'after all, he's only human'. Well, what the hell am I here??? As soon as this doctor gets treated for his 'disease' (being flattered by the fact that a woman wants him so much), I will be right in line behind him to have treatment rendered for my 'disease' (liking a guy who flirted along with me). By the way, the same books that reference 'transference' also reference something called 'counter transference', so maybe we ought to obtain couple's counseling while we're at it.
So now she has to just come to
terms with the fact that even if the guy had a twinkle in his eye for her once, I am sure
in the last couple of years being a single doctor and being on JDate, he has probably found
someone and its time for her to be realistic and move on.
No, you're wrong here - the pendulum doesn't lie. I'm serious. You all need to try this thing out - I use a necklace myself - rose quartz for 'love'.
JustTrbl - To answer your questions - yes - I do think some of the posts here are much scarier than Lyme Disease. Some of them lack the same rationality that I'm being accused of missing here myself.
I've seen upwards of 35 doctors just within the last couple of years - most of them male - and I've had plenty of eye contact during each of my visits with these doctors. Yet the only doctor whose eye contact I've taken other than that which was required by a doctor to assess my condition came from this doctor in question. Bottom line - if he had looked at me this way in a bar, I'd have been moving closer to him with my drink - and so would any woman reading this.
The problem is that even though suggestions are made about the psychology involved,
she doesn't recognize psychology as a science even.
This is correct. I do not recognize psychology as a 'science' here. Science should be indisputable. Yet this is not. Take child abuse. Some people are abused as children and go on to abuse their own. Others are so traumatized by the experience that they vow to never inflict that kind of pain on their own children. If psychology were truly a 'science', every victim of child abuse would react in a fixed, predictable manner, one way or the other - yet we already know this isn't the case.
Look at Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli. Van Halen I'm sure had plenty of teeny boppers and young women head over heels in love with him, but you don't see anybody diagnosing Valerie Bertinelli with some kind of teenage crush syndrome here, do you? Why?
Because Van Halen wasn't 'just' a heartthrob - he was also a human being who needed a mate like everyone else. But because it's been 'proven' through marriage that he loved her back, somehow she's off the hook here. Theoretically though, if this really was a syndrome Valerie was suffering from, she could still be inflicted with it - but we'd never know, would we? This may not even be a good example - I honestly don't even remember if these two are still together. Actually, I think they split up. But you should get my point here regardless. | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 112 | |
| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/3/2007 11:51:16 PM | Yo, Blaze; today in The Province Newspaper, here in Vancouver, there's a story running
about a Doctor who was sleeping with his patients. They discovered that he
began FLIRTING with this one patient and finally got her to fall in love with
him ultimately sleeping with him. BUT, there's more! When the doctor "dumped" her
eventually, she sent a letter to
him advising him that he was "going to pay" big time. So, he calls the cops
claiming it was a threat - they take her down at her home. BUT, when the psychiatric board
started their investigation, they BELIEVED her.....BECAUSE.....they uncovered
that this doctor had SEVERAL relationships with many many patience.
HE KNEW how to make the women feel like he's fallen in love with them and
they BOUGHT IT! He has been charged and has lost his license this week. The
law suits are starting to fly....he's losing his home and his life.
I don't know why I'm sharing it with you......maybe because I thought of
you this morning on the train as I read the story.
I think I can believe you but only so much now that I have a new
perspective on predator psychiatrists. I believe it's plausible that
he gave you these lovey dovey eye's and appeared to fall for you, but
I also believe the women who have proven that he knows how to
manipulate them into believing what he wanted them to believe. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/4/2007 12:14:53 AM | Thanks for thinking about me, ewok;) Interesting. See, I am being honest here about what did and did not happen with the doc. I also know that there are docs out there who can and do abuse this type of power that they have, just given the nature of the medical profession.
But I don't accuse this doctor of doing anything along those lines with me, and if it ever were to happen, it would be my choice (and his obviously). Actually, I even question whether every (maybe even most) cases against a doctor like this are 'truly' cases of abusing power, or if some women just see the money potential - couple a broken heart with that, and boom. I personally think the law in unfair to the doctor in the first place, unless of course he is doping her up and rendering her unconscious before she consents.
I don't really think I'm asking IF he flirted with me or IF he ever had a romantic interest in me. I'm not brain dead. I know he did. I think I'm more interested in some answers as to why he still takes my calls when it would be all too easy for him to block me. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/4/2007 6:47:09 AM | First of all I only suggested that it might be transferance. Secondly, you are asking for an opinion regarding your situation.
So, to sum it all up you just want to know why he is stil accepting your calls?
OK....
Evidence. In a criminal investigation in order to lay charges against anyone to bring before the court it requires evidence and lots of it. Which you seem to be giving lots of. What you are doing is called criminal harrassment (stalking). He is still accepting your phone calls because the police or the medical board, or even him, are conducting an investigation and need evidence. The card, the calls, etc... If the tables were turned and you were this guy what would you be doing??
I know what I would be doing and it wouldn't require changing my phone number. Do you have any idea how many years it takes to become a specialist? or a doctor for that matter?? lets see...3years undergrad, 4 years medical school, and then another 10 years for the speciality education. And you think that he is going to throw it away for you? I don't think so....
You are delusional and in need of some medical attention. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/4/2007 7:08:05 AM |
Look at Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli. Van Halen I'm sure had plenty of teeny boppers and young women head over heels in love with him, but you don't see anybody diagnosing Valerie Bertinelli with some kind of teenage crush syndrome here, do you? Why?
Because Van Halen wasn't 'just' a heartthrob - he was also a human being who needed a mate like everyone else. But because it's been 'proven' through marriage that he loved her back, somehow she's off the hook here. Theoretically though, if this really was a syndrome Valerie was suffering from, she could still be inflicted with it - but we'd never know, would we? This may not even be a good example - I honestly don't even remember if these two are still together. Actually, I think they split up. But you should get my point here regardless.
How is this even remotely similar to your story? Bertinelli was a big sitcom TV star and went back stage at one of Van Halens concerts. He was completely smitten by her as much as she was with him. In other words, the attention was reciprocated. He SHOWED her that he was into her. She didn't phone him and leave messages that he didn't return.
Imagine this isnt a doctor. You meet a guy in a bar, he gives you one of "those" looks and smiles. You find out his phone number through a friend. You start to call him and leave him messages. He never returns them for two years. Would you still think he was into you? | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/4/2007 9:49:52 AM | Does anyone actually think that what they say will change the OP's position on this? People will justify what they want, in whatever way they can in order to make it acceptable to them.
Stop feeding this thread and it will die .... as it should, sheesh! | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/4/2007 11:09:21 AM | excuse me but I think last time I looked this was called a forum. Is there a specific time when threads are "supposed" to die? If the OP wants it to, then she can stop posting but I think you will find theres a ton of threads out there that keep limping on. Who is the arbiter of what "should and shouldn't" die? Geez this one was started December 30th, 2006 ...I have seen threads from 2 yrs ago that keep getting revived.
OP. Keep on 'Blazing' however you see fit. LOL Its a free world. | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/4/2007 8:07:04 PM |
How is this even remotely similar to your story? Bertinelli was a big sitcom TV star and went back stage at one of Van Halens concerts.
Bertinelli was a sitcom star. Van Halen was a rock KING. But even so, I already said this probably wasn't a very good example. But I know other high profile celebrities have hooked up with pretty average people in comparison, and nobody questions their relationship. In fact, celebrity relationships seem to be placed under more scrutiny if they both are celebrities.
Imagine this isnt a doctor. You meet a guy in a bar, he gives you one of "those" looks and smiles. You find out his phone number through a friend. You start to call him and leave him messages. He never returns them for two years. Would you still think he was into you?
No. I would not. But this isn't the same. Part of the reason why I think this doctor does have feelings for me is 'because' he's a doctor and continues to accept my calls, which is just too unusual. It's 'possible' that he does genuinely care about me - why is that so hard to believe here?
And he's not going to prosecute me. He couldn't even if he tried - my 'defense' would simply be he never told me not to call. Plain and simple.
I'm telling you - that 'look' meant SOMETHING. Maybe it didn't mean 'I have feelings for you - just be patient'. Maybe it didn't mean 'I'm going to call you in two years after this all blows over'. Maybe it meant 'I think you have an eating disorder and your feelings for me are preventing me from helping you'. Or maybe it meant 'Please don't be mad at me. I really don't want to do this to you, but I have to'. That 'look' meant something though. I'm telling you though - if I had been the one controlling my exit, I'd have been out of there in a flash - I'd have been a blur. But he wouldn't 'let' me.
By the way, this thread almost 'died' within the first few hours. I honestly was devastated since it was my first post ever. I'm being serious. I'm surprised it made it this far. lol And though you may not know it, you guys really are helping. I'm more convinced than ever that this doc has feelings for me;) But at least this is giving me possibilities that I may not have thought of to play out in my head, which is always good. | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 120 | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/4/2007 9:21:59 PM | Blaze,
You are certifiable. This man, if he is even real, does not care for you.
He is a doctor, he gets calls from all of his patients, not just you.
That "look"...well he probably gives "the look" to them as well.
Your defense is he never told you not to call him? are you serious? "The doctor never told me not to call him, so I am not responsible for my actions." ignorance of the law is no defense.
You need to prove this guy is real, because I just don't believe it.
PROVE IT.... | |
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| Doctor, doctor - give me the news. Got a bad case of loving you. Help?
Posted: 1/5/2007 3:52:21 AM | You are certifiable. This man, if he is even real, does not care for you.
You're questioning whether he is real? Let me tell you this - he ain't exactly from the land of make-believe. If he were, we'd be married by now and I wouldn't even be having this conversation.
He is a doctor, he gets calls from all of his patients, not just you.
At HOME? By the way, I'm no longer his patient - I'm his 'former' patient. In fact, 'while' I was his patient, I never once called him at home - I only 'JDated' (emailed) him at the very end of the doctor-patient relationship after I'd discovered him there. My calls to him only started after the doctor-patient relationship had ended.
That "look"...well he probably gives "the look" to them as well.
Let me explain that 'final' look a little bit more because I think there's some kind of misunderstanding here between them. Honestly, I can't say that final 'look' was flirtatious at all - at least not like the smiles and 'looks' I got from him while making my appointment while he looked on from the conference room that one time. The conference room 'look' I would definitely describe as a confirmation of attraction. This final 'look' though was more one of concern maybe or perhaps urgency. I'm not sure. The eye contact, however, was almost blistering - as if he had some message for me, though I'm at a loss what he was trying to tell me. I do believe he felt badly about having to end the doctor-patient relationship though, as he was very much aware of my feelings for him by then.
Your defense is he never told you not to call him? are you serious? "The doctor never told me not to call him, so I am not responsible for my actions." ignorance of the law is no defense.
Regardless of whether or not it would be 'legal' for my doctor to contact me on a more personal level, I don't think there are ANY laws stating the reverse is a problem. Last time I checked, dialing the phone and leaving messages was not a crime. It's not like I'm leaving him 30 messages a day or anything like that - nor am I calling him 30 times a month.
PROVE IT....
How do I prove it? Do you want his number?
No seriously - tell me how. I think my JDate profile is still viewable to JDate members anyway, though I may have to make it viewable to non-members for you to see it. Let me know. I'm 'tale2tailz'.
The doctor in question here pulled his pic and profile from JDate some time after all this occurred - though not immediately. I don't even think his profile comes up in a search any longer, let alone his picture (though he remains on my 'hotlist' should he ever rejoin). In fact, if I were to delete him from my hotlist today, even I wouldn't be able to search for him on JDate. I do have a copy of his profile though - essays and stats and so forth (at least part of it). But if you already question this doctor's existence, I kind of doubt you'd believe anything I just copied and pasted out of his essays anyway. Plus, I wouldn't post anything on here that would identify him anyhow - 'my' lack of inhibitions is one thing, but his is another.
I have his two JDate pictures, too - one of him in his office - one of him as a teenager. But I'm not going to hurt this guy just because you don't believe any of this is possible. | |
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