| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 7:12:42 AM | So far I haven't answered because I have no idea what to say to someone that thinks I'm so lame I wouldn't be able to read her profile before replying. I am sorry she assumed that eeek, but men don't always read our profiles. They don't seem to get much further than the photos.
I offer as evidence of this, the hoards of men who claim sports, Nascar, motorcycles, or country music as their interests that are completely convinced that I am their soul mate. These men obviously never read my profile. If they bothered they would realize I am attached and it plainly says I am not single/not looking and proclaims the identity of my significant other in my profile. They would also realize I am a culture vulture and die hard geek/nerd and not their upcoming date to see Shania Twain or R Kelly.
Do they perhaps imagine that upon seeing a picture of them, or worse, their privates, is going to make me say to myself "Holy hell, why am I bothering with Muktar when I could have this beer chugging Nascar fan on a Harley that at the age of 45 lives with his mother and still works in retail?" Frankly, there are women who like Nascar, or wrestling, or football who would be much better suited for them. They are going to hate spending the week at Santa Fe Opera with me, as much as I am going to hate attending any event in a. the hot sun, or b. that involves getting there on their Harley, like oh, Sturges. I just burn too easily.
I try to answer all of my e-mails, and for trying to let someone down politely, I have gotten e-mails with a lot of "**** yous" and referencing me as if I were a female dog.
Any males that are writing to me thinking that calling me an elitist smart *ss, is insulting, are grossly mistaken. Hell, I just feel I have reached my goal. | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 7:29:17 AM | Pete sweety, is it really a rejection when all you have done is written an e-mail to someone that says "u r hot, wanna chat?"
Just exactly how deep of an emotional investment can you have in someone you have never met? Why would it cause you to become abusive, unless you were mentally unbalanced? | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 7:55:10 AM | a lot of people feel "rejected" - yet this is not always true... "there is a difference between feeling "rejected" and the understanding in dating terms certain two people are not on the same page and it is not a mutual benefit to pursue a deeper relationship.
Emotional feelings of hurt, rejection, pain, misery can be transcended when one realizes the world does not revolve around them and take life as it comes rather than trying to control outcomes. | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:07:08 AM | | Yeah, but why follow it up with nasty posts and emails. When a guy is rejected, he should take it like a man and move on. There's never a reason to torment the person who has rejected them. I get that Mom doesn't consider it rejection at the outset, but lots of guys, I'm sure, feel rejected whenever ANY part of a relationship goes south... whether it be the first email or a few dates into the relationship... some guys don't know how to take it and start getting all nasty and stuff. Those guys should check their attitude at the door. What ever happened to good manners? | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:13:22 AM |
Emotional feelings of hurt, rejection, pain, misery can be transcended when one realizes the world does not revolve around them and take life as it comes rather than trying to control outcomes. Any leisurely drive through a parking lot, when you see people walking abreast down the middle of the lanes... any drive on a mountain road behind someone who is terrified of the road and going 25 mph and won't pull over... People who block the aisles in the supermarket... These things are indicators of just how many people are completely unaware of the basic laws of planetary orbits and it is far more than you might think. | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:24:39 AM | When a guy is rejected, he should take it like a man and move on.
true, Pete. However my point is that one should not feel it is a "rejection". Why would anyone feel sorry for himself/rejected...if the other does not reciprocate? It just means that person is not the one for them.
I get the impression people enjoy wallowing in self pity. Why else would they do that to themselves? | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:36:22 AM | | Sure, in a perfect world. But guys feel rejected all the time... and they wallow in their self pity all the time... and they lash out at the ones who rejected them - all the time. Those men, and I agree with you here, should stop wallowing in their self pity... take it like men, and move on. Lashing out at people is for pussies, don't you agree? | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:04:03 AM |
Those men, and I agree with you here, should stop wallowing in their self pity... take it like men, and move on. Lashing out at people is for pussies, don't you agree? I am going to fisk you a bit Pete.... For beginners, not wallowing in self pity is not a trait that should be ascribed to men only. Women should be equally responsible for not attending the pity party, let alone catering the event. So, can't we just say... "Take it like a mature, responsible person?"
Like this sexist claptrap of lowered expectations for female behavior was not offensive enough... You then compare the wallowers to a part of the female anatomy; Now, don't get me wrong, I know it's idiom, but why is the lowest thing you can call a man referenced in that way? Lashing out is for abusive jerks. | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:24:36 AM |
I am going to fisk you a bit Pete.... For beginners, not wallowing in self pity is not a trait that should be ascribed to men only. Women should be equally responsible for not attending the pity party, let alone catering the event. So, can't we just say... "Take it like a mature, responsible person?"
OK, but we were talking about men, at least I was. I certainly didn't intend to exclude women from this... but I was looking at it from a male's perspective because your post at the top of the page is railing against emails from men. I'm just following your lead on this.
Like this sexist claptrap of lowered expectations for female behavior was not offensive enough...
Woah... I said something sexist about lowered expectations for female behavior? When?
You then compare the wallowers to a part of the female anatomy; Now, don't get me wrong, I know it's idiom, but why is the lowest thing you can call a man referenced in that way?
Oh please...  Maybe cats should be the most offended of all then. It's an expression. I wasn't calling those men vaginas.
Lashing out is for abusive jerks.
OK, can we all agree on this now? | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:47:02 AM | people will turn anything into a negative. I emailed a girl in my area (I recently moved) who seemed attractive and her first response was my testimonials (I have a few of them) were a "red flag"
I just answered that with "I post and read a lot in the forums" - "I help people with their profiles"
These are both positive responses and answers her concerns.
Yet-
she responded with "so looks to me you are not serious about finding someone"
Now,
do I feel rejected?
fucc no!
I am happy she responded that way realizing there are those nuts out there who think negatively - even responses which are positive.
Being popular, well liked and helping people. I should be ashamed of myself.
O the rejection of it all...
muhahahahahahaha! | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:50:14 AM | I cannot speak to the issue of women doing this lashing out thing upon rejection as men do in the e-mail arena, since hoards of lesbians are not e-mailing me, a fact which I am sure depresses my beloved Muktar no end. However, it did happen to eeek, which is where the post was originally directed, as implied by my quote.
But yes, for the most part, I find the whole "take it like a man" thing offensive and I am in no way a feminist. If I had my way I would turn back the clock 100 years. As if men are the be all and end all of the universe when it comes to emotional response. You don't hear women saying this to one another, we use instead the term "grown up" or "mature."
And yeah, I will agree with one addition, lashing out is for immature, abusive jerks. | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:51:46 AM | Bill, you're a saint!
But yes, for the most part, I find the whole "take it like a man" thing offensive.
I'm sorry... but I'm not sure why that is.
As if men are the be all and end all of the universe when it comes to emotional response.
Doesn't it imply the opposite? To distance oneself from emotional response?
You don't hear women saying this to one another. Instead we use the term "grown up" or "mature."
Yes.
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 10:02:20 AM | oh, Pete...no I am not a saint.
Just ask around - ask some of the women I have dated...
Ask my lawyer (he won't tell, but asking will keep him honest.) -
Ask my accountant and ...
ask my last true love who left me to go back to her college sweetheart.
If I were a saint, I do not think she would have moved away...
I am rotten to the core and you have not seen mean until you cross me...
I have a long fuse, slow to wrath...
BUT
I do not walk on water, nor do I turn the other cheek.
Thanks for the kindness.
Thank you and people like you that promote the myth that balance everything out for me... | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 10:04:06 AM | My intent was to convey a manly reaction as being the supposed ideal in emotional response, which includes the lack thereof. | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 10:18:04 AM | Thanks Pete ....
I have been hearing good things about you - cooky raves about you and thinks you are a saint.
you da man and closer to a saint than I. | |
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| whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 6/12/2007 10:19:31 AM |
To attack and beat the crap out of whatever upsets you...
it is the only response and does not require the adjective "manly"
those who lived to tell won't say
*sigh* | |
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