| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 5:17:59 AM | | To say it in an arguement, hmmm, not real bright. Question is, is it true? Is he a great guy among a sea of loosers you have dated, or is he more of the same. Are you capable of doing better? If so, why aren't you. A statement like this will only be said by two types of people, one that actually cares enough to tell you life's harsh realities, and one that wants you to feel lucky to have his useless *ss. You now have to figure out which one he is. Best of luck on that one. | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 5:20:31 AM | you were in a fight. it doesn't mean anything.
the best advice i can give is not to spend too much time analyzing everything said in an argument. it's a silly waste of time
if you're dying to know, ask him
if he doesn't give you the affection you need, leave | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 5:41:36 AM | I would have asked him if he's trying to convince me or himself.....
Insecure people say alot of dumb things that's for bloody sure.....(*sigh*) | |
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 54 | |
| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 5:54:12 AM |
then i got so wound up i got on a roll of HIM drivin me to rip his head off....WHERE AS SAYING he "is the best ill have "only invokes frustration
and down played my feelings i was trying to convey.....
> someone answer this
I am not the LORD!!!, but this is my opinion.....
As Dr Phil says, "How did that work for you?" It REALLY doesn't matter WHAT he MEANT! The issue here is communication and resolution. This man is not giving you the SAME attention you were once receiving and something has changed. It seems to me, that you have a right to know "why he isn't hugging" as much as he used to, like "What am I doing wrong, that you don't hug me anymore?"
He is the only one that knows for sure, but my guess is that RESENTMENT of a billion tiny issues have accumulated into one big fikkin mess. Therefore, there is no ONE simple answer or solution.
Losing your temper, is not the way to improve communication, so START there. You do not want to 'invoke frustration and downplay HIS feelings, that HE was trying to convey.'
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 5:56:50 AM | | Your reaction was 'right on'! Now, never, ever acknowlege him again....if he calls hang up....if he emails, delete without reading, etc. That is the only message you should send in return. | |
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doni35
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Joined: 10/24/2006
Msg: 56 | |
| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 6:04:22 AM | well i can only assume that this guy has a low self esteem and is looking for your devoted love and agreement to boost up his ego , yes my ex said this to me as well and ( i am the best lover you have ever had, you never had a man like me before) ect ect.... i knew from the start he was a self indulged ego booster and realistically a tad insecure underneath it all......at the time i just smiled and humoured him...since i cared enough not to argue or bring him down...but i knew for darn sure i HAD better than him and very naive of him to think other wise and stupid of him to claim his self proclaimed perfection to anyone!!. 
Anyway now single since he decided i was not good enough for him in the end ... After all this he told me i would find better than him.....since he changed his tune... i just had to agree with him on that and he hit the roof and said i was disrespectful..humm i was being honest!!! ......you can never please these guys 
so think yourself lucky you found out now and move on to someone who can appreciate you more for being in his life!, before this guy decides your not worthy enough for him in the end and makes you feel more degraded.
doni | |
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doni35
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Joined: 10/24/2006
Msg: 57 | |
| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 6:16:03 AM | i was trying to tell him that i feel neglected..as in why dont you return my hugs..why do i sometimes come 5th on his list...why doesnt he let me know with words or affection than i am important to him..
sorry sweetie but this sounds VEEERRRY familiar.....your simply not as good as him sweetie to get his appraisal in the normal sense...Sounds like his world evolves around him only .....if your 5th in cue then thats a pretti solid reason to move on. I never put my bf below equal to myself and never will degrade someone that way. but i know how it feels.
He could of meant he's a good catch and is so confident he can make you happy he practically brags about it..
Humm sorry confidence or how good your are does not come from bragging...its has a reverse effect....and this is why we earn it rather than brag about it!.
doni
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 6:23:29 AM | | Lady it clearly means, the man has a medical condition, analopticalitis, meaning his head and butt have been exchanged. Clearly he has a dodo look at life.!!!!! | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 6:34:01 AM | People say some terrible things in the heat of anger so its always best to try to open those lines of communication when everyone is calm and can communicate rationally.
However there are those that although can produce words and sounds out of their mouths, but can never answer a direct question and simply dodge the issue at hand. People like that are exasperating.. Relationships are already a challenge, but lack of Effective Communication is going to destroy the relationship in the end. | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 6:34:55 AM | Seems to me what he really might be saying is...You cant leave me because i wont find anyone like you...Iam lost and nothing without you..but he cant come out and say that beacause he cant show that he has low self asteem.Is it a classic example fo a man thinking more like a woman and saying one thing hoping that she can hear what he is really saying??
Just a thought! | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:26:04 AM |
decided that i will just rip your head off!
i was trying to comunicate..not NAG
Okay I see "How to Make Friends and Influence Enemies" is apparently a "must have"for your 2007 Book Club list. Sugar and Vinegar, understand the difference?
IF HE SAID I DONT HUG YOU BECAUSE IM A GERM-O-PHOBE..then i would understand
the lack of affection...not im the best guy ill ever get.
So is this one of the experiments when they give 1000 Monkey's 1000 typewriters just to see what they will come up with. Let me guess, this was the winning entry.
but i see that conversation and nagging may be the same for you...so instead of asking why why why ..your female of the moment should just burn your roast dinner...not tell you where your keys are WHEN she knows very well WHERE THEY ARE its because if she DID and asked you why you dont put them in the same place
you would say shes naggggggggggggin..i would go on but rather not give you any more NAGAMO
While I don't presume to be the "Lord" by any stretch of the imagination, I suppose in comparsison to an intellectual protozoa such as yourself OP, it might appear that way. My advice is, that regardless of how big a set of brass ones it might require to make a statement as was made by your alleged "boyfriend", his statement in this particular instance might very well be accurate in your case.
It's no doubt that upon voraciously reading your thought provoking, and quasi-intelligible posts here, not to mention the masterpeice that is your stunning profile, that you are without question, shall we say for lack of a better word, "Charming". Sensitve, kind, and caring likewise come to mind, but sadly not when thinking of you. So more to the point and to answer your query, I would say if possible, marry this man and pump out as many babies as you can in short order. You are without question, soul mates of the highest order. Surely in time Springer will be calling for your illustrious talents. Bona Fortuna!
Have fun  | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:52:20 AM | Yep, it's a control freak line, aimed at busting your self-esteem. I was going to write that you've probably seen other clues about his nature, and then I read another post of yours where you were telling him you feel neglected, his response was not to care.
You can see too that he doesn't know how to communicate with you, even in an argument.
Here's the thing about nagging: a woman nags when she has a complaint. In her nagging, she's telling the guy exactly what the problem is. Guys are wired to be turned off from hearing the nag, BUT a smart man picks up on it and then knows to fix the complaint. But not your guy.
You're nagging because you're frustrated and you're frustrated because you haven't been getting your emotional needs met, so you are doing this: "Well, if I told him a thousand times and he hasn't listened, I'll just tell him louder and meaner a thousand times and maybe then he'll listen".
Nope, amplifying the same technique won't work if it hasn't already. Time to do something else, anything else.
So, if you want advice besides "kicking him to the curb", it would be this: Set boundaries. Tell him directly how you feel and exactly describe what you do want. Like you're putting a detailed map in front of him. Tell him what the consequences will be if he doesn't do it, and you have to be ready to act on those consequences. In setting these boundaries, you cannot raise your voice, be mean, bring up grudges, criticize him, all that will escalate a fight. You can only tell him how you feel, not condemn him.
"I feel unloved. I need more affection. I'd like more hugs from you. I don't want to be yelled at." NOT "You never hug me anymore, all you ever do is yell at me!".
plus
"and if you can't stop with your temper and be more loving to me, then I can't stay in this relationship - and I will leave."
But let me tell you, he may not want to nurture the relationship. He's a control freak, and he'll probably turn this into a power struggle with you and fight against it. If he continues like that, you have to make a choice. If you warned him that you're going to walk, then that's the time to walk. Either that, or spend the rest of your life in that situation. | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:02:14 AM |
Someone please tell me if i am correct in my assumption
Who in their right mind during a conversation...discussion..aurgument
would say " im the best boyfriend you will ever have"...im i right to think that can only mean
that whats REALLY being said is...youll never find anyone better than me you pathetic looser.
WHAT ELSE COULD THAT MEAN...ps even if i ever thought that myself, i would never say it
out loud. what KIND OF BALLS HAVE YOU GOT TO POSSESS TO SAY THAT.I feel sooooooo
mad and degraded!
It could mean he's arrogant. | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:03:34 AM | Let me share a little bit more about what's behind him saying "I'm the best boyfriend you will ever have":
It's not so much that he's pegging you as a loser, what's really behind it is that *he* feels like a loser. He's insecure. He's really worried that you, or anyone, will leave him if you figure out what a loser he is. If you left him, you'd see him fall apart.
So, to prevent his biggest fear from happening, he tries to act bigger than you. He has to make you feel small for him to feel bigger and in control. | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:53:21 AM |
So, to prevent his biggest fear from happening, he tries to act bigger than you. He has to make you feel small for him to feel bigger and in control.
Gee or it could just be something as simple as the guy just being a narcissistic bastage and the OP being the penultimate she-devil, and hence they are deservant of each other. I mean exactly when did it become logical and normal to presume that just because someone started a thread moaning about something, that they must either be a "nice person" or a "victim"? Did I miss a memo or something? Personally I think the OP demonstrates my point rather eloquently. By all means though, if this is "Take Your Psychobabble To Work" day, that is all well and good, but that doesn't mean it has to be all that complicated does it?
Have fun | |
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mar814
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Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 68 | |
| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 1:25:00 PM | | I think it depends on the tone of voice and the spirit in which it was spoken. If by all other accounts he is a great bf then I'd think he meant it as an affirmation that he's committed to being a wonderful boyfriend and that he's highly motivated to keep your affection. If it was said in anger, then I'd probably agree with your assessment. | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 2:25:00 PM | Batgurl- I think he might be right. I read your profile and your posts and you are hardly the catch of the day much less a lifetime. You have some serious issues to deal with. Most men are neither willing or equipped to deal with these issues. If he is willing he just may be your best bet. I am an easygoing and patient man but I would not have anything to do with a relationship with someone like you. Seek some anger management counseling or something woman. | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 3:04:02 PM | why are you off subject...i asked a question...not..please critique ME???
AS FOR MY PROFILE...did i ask for full nude frontals...people im,ing after i asked not to be
gezzzzzzz am i disgruntled?...YES..and i stated why
other than that...at least im getting a drift of possible meanings besides what i came up with
THANKS to the people who gave answers...NOT CHARACTER SLAGS | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 3:14:08 PM |
my ex said I was soooooooo lucky that he picked me to marry.. Sounds a bit like what my ex said: "I'm just trying to help you be a better person!"
Verbatim. | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 3:25:09 PM |
exactly when did it become logical and normal to presume that just because someone started a thread moaning about something, that they must either be a "nice person" or a "victim"?
Never. There's always more to the story. Lots more. Speaking for me though, all I can touch on is the information I'm given by the one party. Though I did imply that when OP nags, she's been on the offensive perhaps.
if this is "Take Your Psychobabble To Work" day
Maybe it's "Take Your Ridiculebabble To Work" Day? | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 73 | |
| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 3:38:29 PM | A Braggard is what this means. Someone who is so damn insecure about life in general. A person that talks like this is so into themself, they can't see the trees in the forest.
Now, anyone with 1/2 a brain wouldn't hang around someone who is such poor company such as this Braggard. | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 4:05:06 PM | | To the original person who wrote this message, don't feel degraded. He's an idiot with no class and insecure. Move on. Feel bad for him. That's all you can do. There is obviously someone better out there. Just because you have not experienced it yet doesn't mean you won't. Better to be in no relationship than one that brings down your self-esteem. Love yourself, take care of your physche, dump him. Feel proud despite what your heart is telling you. Be brave. He is not the one for you. You deserve and will get better. Good luck, mouse:) | |
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| LORD!!!someone answer this
Posted: 1/2/2007 4:24:13 PM | | You're right, it's degrading however it's worded. He's either saying "you're pathetic," or "I'm better than anyone, including you." I've heard of being**** before, but this is downright arrogance, and believe me, one day, he'll get his! | |
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