| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 1/2/2007 1:52:53 PM | I respect all of the answers here, but I'll answer how I would handle it:
If not having sex was a requirement, then no, I would not stay.
I grew up in a Fundamentalist/Evangelical background. I can actually respect, "I'm not going to do that" and self control more than I can respect, "We do absolutely everything but actual sex" and trying to find loopholes like anal and oral, or anything except doing actual sex.
Self control is hard enough without torturing yourself like that, and when you do EVERYTHING else but the dirty deed, I'm sorry, but that's just keeping values in name, not in actual reality.
Sooner or later, the whole "Doing everything else BUT sex" thing is going to grind your gears, and in my opinion, it harms intimacy later on. I knew a lot of girls who ended up frigid because they spent years going right up to the line, and then slamming hard on the brakes, and when the limits were finally removed, they had a hard time going over the non-existent line.
Don't torture yourself. Sex is a bad reason to get married, and you WILL feel that temptation, sooner or later. | |
|
kmhstx
|
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 27 | |
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 1/2/2007 1:57:21 PM | Well why leave him if he's the best thing thats ever happened to him.
Does he help you get satisfaction in other ways?
It sounds like it.
So to me its a no brainer.....if you think there is potential for this to be the man you want to marry, why break up just to have sex with some other guy. | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 1/2/2007 3:49:31 PM | | Absolutely stay. If he is amazing and you two are finding other ways to get off, then what is the problem. Sex doesnt always mean intercourse. | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 1/3/2007 5:06:56 PM | | I would have to say I would leave . I love sex , and though not necessary every day .. I do want it alot lol.. it is important to me. Unless of course tis bad sex! | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 1/3/2007 5:12:27 PM | | Hey well i can understand what your saying, cause im actually going through the same experience, and i have to say that str8 off the bat she is worth it to me to sacrifice sex for a while......what did i just say that lol....but its soooo true. Now i may not be perfect and i know that things might go sour sometimes but as far as im concerned she is completing apart of me that has been empty for sooooooo long......I think you should wait! | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/22/2007 5:39:17 PM |
There are all kinds of ways to know about someone sexually without actual penetration sex. I knew long before we married there would be no sexual issues, and there weren't. I do think it's funny that so many people actually believe you can't know someone without taking their winkie for a test ride first.
I agree. Just because you're not having actual intercourse with someone does not mean that you have no idea what they are going to be like. For example if he is only interested in getting himself off during foreplay chances are he'll be the same during sex too. If he is great with his hands and tongue during foreplay chances are the sex will be great too. | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/22/2007 7:06:16 PM | I would sure stay!! Though, for what its worth, I find the "everything but intercourse" an odd place to draw the line...
I wish you a long and happy life together !! | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/22/2007 8:48:49 PM |
NO I AM NOT IN THE RELATIONSHIP JUST FOR SEX.
Actually to be technical thats all a relationships is, well at least what defines it is the sex!
take sex out of a relationship...its a friendship!
from the thread title I totally thought this rant was from a guy until i read it all.
If your boyfriend doesnt give it up and you get it somewhere else it wouldnt be cheating because technically its just a friendship. | |
|
| |
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 7:31:26 AM |
If your boyfriend doesnt give it up and you get it somewhere else it wouldnt be cheating because technically its just a friendship.
OMG I can't believe that I just read that. Just because there is no actual intercourse does not mean it is only a friendship. Yes they are friends but it would still be much more than that. There is still other sexual things being done, they are IN love with each other, they do everything that a normal couple does except have intercourse. That doesn't mean they are just friends.
He's respecting you !
I agree. Just because he is one of the few guys that can have a relationship without actual intercourse - that's not a bad thing. It just shows that he loves you for you, not just for what he is getting  | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 10:11:28 AM | | The way some people force bizarre morals on themselves then warp and twist them just to survive amazes me! "Yeah, sure, I will stick my tongue, my fingers, a zucchini or the cordless screwdriver in there, but DO NOT ask me to put my penis there, I AM A VIRGIN"........WTF?????? Why not put on an industrial strength condom and go at it.......makes more sense and he is still just as pure as he is now! Problem solved! | |
|
Fwens
|
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 37 | |
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 10:34:10 AM | Humans are pretty complex, and without knowing your love life history, who knows if it's just the lack of conventional sex ending that's making you sit on the fence.
I've been in a similar boat recently - not the same yacht as Op's, but here's what was bothering me:
I've been in a long-term relationship prior to my current one, and the previous relationship didn't end very well, so emotionally I was casting doubts on every aspect of my current relationship because I don't want to walk down the same road again, so to speak. Like Op, my current boyfriend is awesome in every way.
Maybe she, like me, is just experiencing a case of fear of repeating history. I think that's way worse than not having a happy "ending".
So I wish you good luck in figuring your dilemma out, OP, just like I did  | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 11:13:31 AM | | No I couldn't. I did that once and I won't do that again. I'm a very sexual/sensaul person. I need sex to be part of it. | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 11:49:00 AM | Wow-- this is a tough one~! I think after 3 months, sex shouldnt be a problem... unless the guy is a hard core Christian or religious fanatic... the issue is, if you wait till marriage how will you know he's any good in bed??? Not that sex is the end all be all of any situation, but are you looking for a lover or a companion? I dated a man for a long time who could have sex but who couldnt perform long term. That got to be old FAST.
Even sexual aid medications failed.
I think he has some sexual hang ups... personally. He may be gay, or have some other issues going on. You've only known him 3 months after-all... I would stick it out just a little longer... but clearly you have needs. We are women, hear us roar! We are not meant to NOT enjoy sex! Thats why we feel pleasure.
Thats my voice on the subject. You've been a good girl long enough... no go and get your needs met!
Hang in there and good luck. | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 12:16:34 PM | I think that you should wait. I was with a guy for 5 years. And we never had intercourse because I did not want it. And honestly, it was never an issue. He never forced nor pressured me to do it. I know in the end it didn't work out. However, it is worth the wait, especially if your partner is a great person.  | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 12:26:00 PM | OP,
No link to your profile so I can't tell how old you are to then guess as to how much experience you've gained in life.
The question that comes to mind is what if you get married and find that you aren't compatable? Could he be a premature ejaculator and he knows it? Forplay is one thing, great sex is another. Yup, foreplay is part of great sex but penetration is the grand fanally finish that most women need, (so I'm told).
In the event you've never had great sex, then you won't know what you are missing. Then go for it!
Could end up going the wrong way....
Just one guy's opinion
J Mac | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 12:34:30 PM | | There are millions in this universe who wait to have intercouse till they get married. I hope, everyone appreciate them. I personally think, if you like him so much, you should certainly wait. May God bless that the waiting period is not too long. Many people here might think, sex-intercourse are pre-requistic conditions for a good marriage relationship, but we know very well how much % of it get success in it. A healthy sexual relation is indeed necessary, but i think, any couple can make it excellent only when they have good communication and understanding between them. As you are finding him very good in most way, I am sure....you should not much worry about his vigor and skill in satisfying you after marriage. | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 1:49:16 PM | I think you answerd your own question, you have to stick with him, yeah i wont lie sex is very important, but there are gadgets and oils and other bits that can really spice the foreplay side of things, dressing up, role-play, dildos,****rings, watching porn together, using a crunchie chocolate bar (in you know where), its all things that so long as you are comfortable with that part of sex you can still have a healthy sex life.
You cant push him into anything, you can ask him if you could both start intercourse but just make sure he doesnt orgasm, make it part of your foreplay.
Hope thats helped a bit, if you want to chat more send us a message i'm always willing to help people that ask for it. Take care, hope you make the wright choice | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 2:36:26 PM | My first thought is why, if everything else is so perfect, are you not having long and deep conversations with him about this issue. It bothers you enough to bring it to a POF forum, so why not discuss it in depth with the perfect person. You need, for yourself, to be able to have open communication with him about why not having intercourse is bothering you. If you can't do this then, your not going to be right for each other. He has the right to know your in depth feelings on the issue so he can make decisions with you on your relationship. This is not something I would want to keep from someone because it is a part of me that needs to be shared in depth with my partner.
One day when I meet my best friend and fall in love, I will be able to tell them anything and know we can work it out. If he is not someone you can't discuss this with and work out the issue then a long term deal is out.
Open honest communication of feelings and desires, not sex, is the issue here.
Bestfriend58 | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 3:31:45 PM |
I kinda think that I should wait it out. He is amazing in so many ways. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Just looking to see if anyone else agrees with me or do they think I should move on. And before anyone starts to bash me - NO I AM NOT IN THE RELATIONSHIP JUST FOR SEX.
If he's so amazing and has indicated you'll have intercourse after marriage - and you have his ring on your finger - then I would definitely wait | |
|
| |
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 4:24:13 PM | I'd say stay with him it's not easy to find a good person and you have.....maybe one day you will marry and then you can have a heck of a honeymoon!! | |
|
Looe
|
Joined: 7/14/2005
Msg: 48 | |
| |
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 6:42:53 PM | Neeeeext candidate please!
Sorry OP...but my answer is NO. I do understand the 'Waiting Period' to make sure you get to know the person first.
But the part about 'Waiting until you get married', sorry but I don't have all that time to invest to find out my partner is not 'Up to the part' in the 'Giddy UP' department. It would make me a very sad bride. 
Edit: Anyway..the OP is gone from this site. Probably went off and married the guy and presently having lots of good 'Married Hot Sex'. Now I do envy them. *sigh* | |
|
| Would you stay if there was no sex?
Posted: 6/23/2007 10:04:36 PM | If you're not satisfied, then bail. There are plenty of other fishes in the sea.
If you're satisfied, and your proverbial heart says "He's the one." Then stick it out. Buy yourself a little friend for when you want your own one on one time with penetration, and keep it around for after the wedding night... just in case. | |
|
Home
login 
Where is he???? lol
