| Childfree Dating-to your dark angel
Posted: 2/11/2007 1:25:54 AM | i never wanted children either but 1 came along and i wouldnt change it for the world i love the bones off him
im sorry you get bashed but you realy dont have a way with words! but let me say this you are on a dating site you will not find hundreds of single women here with out children as they find it easy to go out not having any commitments you shud try going out a little more
!im a single mom always have been an i find the problematic offspring comment offencive if u feel that strongly u shudnt off dated a woman with a child!There children will always come first!!
i am not a rescue me type nor do i want to be rescued my life is jus fine thank you i might be a single mom but i have a very well payed job in a career which i enjoy and we have a great life! im here for me not cos i wanna be the princess in the tower and be rescued!
on a last note tho
you are on a dating site being anti single moms is just down rite rude they didnt jus wake up and they were moms and most of them arnt single moms by choice either ! it took another member of the male poppulation to help with that!
so either get used tothe fact this site has lots of single moms for the obvious reason or keep your charming comments to your self | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 2/11/2007 7:06:30 AM | | Since I had my children when I was fairly young, I'm childfree. And I love it. I didn't date post divorce because it quickly became obvious that it wasn't fair to me, to the guy, or to my 3 teen daughters who didn't deal with the divorce well. I have a flexible job and work at home quite a bit, and also lots of time off. I can leave at a moment's notice and spend lots of weekends somewhere else. I take neat vacations a few times a year (Italy in a month!) I can go when "I" want. I do have a dog, but also have a neighbor that I trade dog sitting with, so she's not a problem either. It's nearly impossible for me to find men in my age range who do not have children at home. And that means they likely don't have the time I feel it takes to build a strong, intimate relationship. I'm not ruling them out. But I admit that someone without kids at home, or kids at all, is much more appealing to me. | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 2/11/2007 9:15:49 AM | I would only date a man without kids. It's so much better for me. I'm not saying that one is better than the other. But when I make someone a priority in my life I expect the same. A man with kids can't possibly offer that. It's hard for him to understand that I have certain expectations, the same way is hard for me to understand that he has other priorities. Sorry, I just can't relate....
I know that kids come first but I don't like to come second or third. So I would rather stay away. Does it limits my "dating pool"? I don't find that at all.
Do I think that man are sceptical about dating me? Not at all. I get tons of emails from men with kids which tells me that they must find me very appealing because I don't bring kids into a relationship ( I don't have a picture posted so I know that it's not because of my looks).
I don't think is fair to the single mothers. They don't seem to have it easy. They can relate to a man with kids a lot better than me since they both have the same priorities. I read a lot of forums and I know there are a lot of good, intelligent, independent and beautiful single mothers out there. But they are overlooked. By men with kids. Does it make any sense? Not all of single mothers are angry like most men think. No more than the ones without kids. Maybe they are not a as available as a woman without kids, but neither is a man with kids. Not to a single woman's standards. | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 7/16/2007 6:53:50 PM | | Being "childfree" means having absolutely no kids. Having grown kids is not the same thing as "childfree." | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 7/16/2007 8:17:51 PM | I would like to date a man who is able to actively participate in a conversation. I can't imagine that one would need to have experienced marriage or children in order to be interesting. I enjoy talking about other things outside of my children, grandchildren and previous marriage. My love for my children, family, is endless but being a mother does not define me. I will always be the same girl who enjoyed entertaining anyone who would pay attention as a child. Now I am just a bit more selective in my audience.
Don't worry about what others think.....if you are okay with your life choices ...thats all that matters. | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 7/16/2007 8:31:03 PM | Finding a man who is childfree at my age is about as easy as finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. I do not have a problem dating men with children. I prefer them to be teenagers and not toddlers since the latter require a lot more time and attention 24/7. Granted, so do many teenagers but my point is that there is a level of independence among teens not found in toddlers.
I would also find it a huge turn-off if he did not take proper care of his kids.
I chose to remain childless and have ZERO regrets about doing so. I love my freedom. Does not mean I can't imagine the time/dedication necessary for raising children.
I have a wonderful niece and another niece/nephew on the way. I also "adopted" a little girl in Nicaragua whom I send $$ to once a month.
Just because some of us choose to remain childless does not render us unable to form attachments with those who have children.
WD | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 7/16/2007 9:41:09 PM |
Childfree dating means no cancellations for kid problems, no babysitters, and no curfews.
Cancellations can still happen for other reasons.
I chose to remain childless and have ZERO regrets about doing so. I love my freedom.
Ditto. | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 7/16/2007 11:32:43 PM | ^^^^^ What Silver said ^^^^^
I love my freedom and I don't wish to be anchored by a guy's kids. I won't even have a dog because they are too high maintenance. | |
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shoree
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Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 34 | |
| Childfree Dating
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:52:00 AM | If you want to date childfree people, aren't there websites to meet them on?
I have no children and used to be part of the No Kidding groups in my area.
Now I am dating someone with children. It's a different experience, but I havne't found it to have hindered our seeing each other at all. There are simply more people involved! They are actually really nice kids and I've enjoyed getting to know them.
If you truly don't enjoy the company of children, then only dating childfree is probably right for you. Don't let anyone tell you you're wrong or horrible for preferring that kind of lifestyle. | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 7/17/2007 8:27:40 AM | | I don't know, at my age I do not want to deal with kids. I am not ready to have them and I don't want to have to date a woman plus her kids. Kids are cute and can be a blast to be with, but I don't want to have to deal with nights that a babysitter cannot be found and we had dinner or drinking plans. | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 7/17/2007 9:00:05 AM | "The thing is that women in the 40s and 50s, all seem to have kids"
Well, I dont and Im 45....Never married or had kids...Secretly I thinks its kept me active and young at heart...I have far more in common with 30 something men because they are often unmarried and childless as well....I find that the men in their 40s and 50s are frequently preoccipied with their kids and often break dates because something has "come up" with them..Or the dates are cut short because of an emergency with the kid they have to attend to...Sometimes the kid just bothers my dates on the cell phone becasue they know they are on a date with me and want the attention all to thmselves...It can be annoying, something men dont have to wrry about with me . | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:17:05 AM | I never had children due to medical reasons, however, I have never run into discrimination from either sex because of this reason. The men that I have met throughout my life have been quite able to accept it as life, whether they had children or not.
I have pretty much never dated a man that didn't have his own children, though, because I know that most men want at least one of their own, something I could never give him. Perhaps this is why I have never encountered any bad reactions because I never had children.
I have never regretted my decision not to try to have children of my own, and I don't think any man worth his salt would hold that against me. If one did, I would know he was NOT the right person for me  | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 11/29/2007 6:30:39 AM | I am childfree and seeking a man who is the same. I prefer older men, so that makes it even more difficult to find a partner without kids. I get a lot of flack, especially on this site, from men that I politely turn down for that reason. It doesn't really bother me exactly, but I feel like its a waste of my time and theirs when they try to convince me their children are different and special. I don't like children, don't want to be around them, end of story.
Honestly, I see children as an incredible impediment to partner-loyalty. I know if I'm with a guy who has children, he'll never be completely loyal to me or put me first in his life, even though I can do that for him. He will always put his kids first, and I know I deserve better than that.
That's not my only reason for not having children, but it's the most relevant one to dating and who I don't want to date childed men. | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 11/29/2007 6:38:33 PM | | Rachelnextdoor: I agree 100% with you. I hate when parents call childfree adults "selfish"! When childfree adults decide not have kids it means more resources (food, air, water, jobs, college admissions, etc.) for their children, whether they deserve it or not! | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 11/29/2007 7:19:24 PM | Childfree dating? I think you should leave your kids at home when you go out on a date!
My son called me one night when I was out and told me there was an emergency at home. I really wasn't having a good time, so I told him I'd be home in 5 minutes. The probem? We had run out of popcorn! 
Pink | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 11/29/2007 7:33:53 PM | | If a woman has children young enough to need a babysitter, you should cut her a little (little is the operative word here) slack. However, grandmothers who put their grown children's children in the way are a lost cause. NEXT!! | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 11/29/2007 8:58:10 PM |
What say you all, about dating people without the past experiences of marriage and parenthood?
I say it's fine by me!  I'm childfree and have never been married, so I'd be perfectly happy to find someone like that. | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:40:05 AM | Very good and thought provoking post, OP.
>Childfree dating means no cancellations for kid problems, no babysitters, and no >curfews.
I "officially" became CF after dating a woman with a toddler when I was in college. We only got to see and go out with each other alone only once in the two months we dated, and rarely got to see each other as it was otherwise. It's tough to build a relationship with such limited time. But it was good experience in the sense that I realized I would likely not be a good father, and once you have kids you can't very well send them back. Now, if the situation is right, I would consider dating a parent, but that depends on several factors.
>The thing is that women in their 40s and 50s, all seem to have kids and, >frequently,grandkids, too.
I'm even seeing many women in their early 20's with multiple kids and no father anywhere. Many of the younger generation will end up marying into full-blown families, a radical change from my father's generation.
>In order to have a social life, I am happy to date women, both with and without kids. >Mostly, the kids are grown and out of the house, but then there are grandkids.
Same here, but part of the rub I have found is the adult kids moving back home and proceeding to do nothing with themselves, or even dumping their own kids on the elders to raise. That's the sort of thing that would not sit well with me, nor I suspect a lot of single people with or without kids of their own.
>I feel a cultural and social affinity with childfree women. It is a shared values and >experiences connection. There are not very many childfree women, though, in the >mature age group.
While I believe you are right, and I think there are more CF men than CF women in the mature age groups, I think culturally there still is probably more pressure on the woman than the man to become a parent, an example being some don't consider her a "real" woman unless she's a mother, that men don't really want kids, etc. JMO, I think that's all crap. First, many men do want kids, and second not everyone is cut out to be a parent any more than everyone is cut out to be a ballet dancer, or truck driver, or surgeon. Not everyone has the tools.
>Nearly all women in my age group (mid-50s) have been previously married, usually >with children, and they tend to find the marriage-free, childfree man to be something >of an anomaly, if not strangely odd.
Same here, and it's oddly ironic too that someone with a number of failed marriages and a herd of kids by different babymamas/daddies seems perfectly ok, while someone who was more careful and just never found the "right one" is looked at as strange rather than responsible and forward-thinking enough to realize that maybe parenthood isn't for them. It seems downright twisted that in this way the number of failed relationships and how badly a person failed seems to make them more desireable/attractive than the person who decided to wait for the right situation and for whatever reason that situation never came about. Not everything is so cut and dried. Often there are very good reasons for remaining marriage-free and childfree, and little if any of it has to do with the character of that person.
>The Childfree bachelor's life is all I have known, and it is anathema to many childed >people, and those with the experience of marriage. "Do you have kids? No? How >come? Are you very selfish? Have you ever been married? Why not? Are you afraid >of commitment?" Etc. Etc.
With you right there, bro. I've been called everything from selfish to a peoplehater, from hedonistic to a closet gay. Interestingly, those same people hurling such ridiculous assumptions are the very ones that do nothing but complain about their kids and work extra jobs and all the overtime they can get just to avoid going home. Methinks it's more jealousy on their part. I can come and go as I please, and I don't have to answer to anyone. On weekends, I get a pleasant wakeup purr from my cats rather than screaming and fighting and yelling.
>All along, I thought that because I didn't desire children in my llife, that marriage was >unnecessary. Now, it seems that prolonged bachelorhood is regarded as a dating >disability, sort of like a prison record.
It sure seems that way sometimes, but the same can be said of anyone who goes against society's grain and thinks for him/herself. Again, it seems downright twisted that desireability is greater for someone with a string of failed marriages and a herd of kids by different mams/daddies. But, as time goes by, there's one thing I've come to realize - never let yourself be forced to compromise (thank you Saga!) | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 8/3/2008 3:40:42 PM | | I am child-free and do not usually date men with kids (or grandkids). Once many year ago a man showed up to a date with his daughter who he had custody of. I didn't like that he did that without telling me he was bringing her with him. But I soon realized after the first slice of pizza, she was way more interesting than he was. I remember talking to her the entire time we were at the pizza place. But I didn't hear from him again, which was fine with me. I think he was a little off. And no I've never had kids. | |
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| Childfree Dating
Posted: 8/3/2008 4:11:22 PM | Children be they kids or grandkids are usually baggage.
Any man in a womans life is gonna come a poor second to them.
If you cant deal with that then you need to find a child free woman.
I find some women seem to deal with kids better than others and demand a life of their own too.
IF a woman cant deal with a man and her kids then she needs to leave men alone until teh kdis leave home. | |
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