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 Roxiebabiee
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 26
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Emotional DistancePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
For me it can go either way. I absolutely prefer the committed relationship kind of "making love" over the physical gratification of plain ole sex, BUT when that isn't an option, sometimes human nature will allow me to go with the latter. One thing about me, I can't have sex with someone I don't want more with. However, it doesn't mean I expect to get more. I am realistic about it. I will ask where he stands on the issue, and if he says he isn't in it for anything serious, I can remain unattached...I have to. Depending on how I feel about him, I may or may not continue the sexual relationship. I guess I have just learned to put a reign on my emotions even if I like a guy. It also means I will continue looking for someone that does want what I want. I won't let a sexual relationship keep me from finding that long term thing that I truly want. I can accept a guy not wanting a relationship with me, but I won't wait for him to change his mind. As for men getting attached emotionally to a woman because they had sex, I've yet to see it. I'm sure it can happen, but the closest I've seen is a guy not wanting to give up a woman who was extremely good in bed, simply because she was good in bed. Not quite the same thing.
 widowedmom
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 27
Emotional Distance
Posted: 3/23/2009 8:45:23 AM
Women are much more likely than men to equate sex with emotional attachment. If they have sex with you they get emotionally attached. Men on the other hand can have sex and maintain emotional distance.


I find that in my life experience this has been true. The times that I engaged in casual sex, if it was more than a one night stand, even if I told myself going in it was just about the sex, I tended to become emotionally involved. Knowing this to be the way I am wired, I don't engage in sex that is "casual." If I am in bed with a man I am not just screwing, I am making love. I hope that the man I am with has listened to how I feel, and is not just "pretending" to care to get me in bed.


I am a woman and sex is very much an emotional thing as it is a physical thing for me. I cannot stay emotionally detached from someone I am being physically intimate with, have tried and failed.


This is my feeling exactly. I am not a fan of emotional pain. A man who does not take how I feel seriously, and lures me into bed under false pretenses that he cares for me , and wants something more than just an orgasm, is a special breed of snake. There are enough women out there that will engage in recreational sex, that it is unnecessary for these vipers to prey on women who clearly state they do not want casual sex. Some men have no conscience and will say whatever is necessary to get a woman out of her panties. I hope that the men I am choosing to date, are mature enough, and exercise enough self control that they respect my feelings and do not cross the line.

I absolutely love sex. If I am in bed with a man he is going to know it without question.
However, the passion I display in bed is as tied to my heart as it is to my genitals. He should know that to me he is one of the select few who have touched my mind, my soul and my spirit or he would not be there. I can not be emotionally detached at this point. It is already too late.
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