| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/3/2007 6:12:21 PM | 907 Daydreamer you are amazing, thanks hun I am glad to know there is someone who can see it from a real perspective.
I am a crim student, my family has been so supportive of me and will be there for me through it all. I am not a party animal and it was ironic that we had a back to school formal hangout and I guess something was slipped into my drink and thus I am in this situation. I had managed a small boutique in the Harrison Resort and Spa dealt with celebrity's on a regular basis and decided to slow things down and go back to school.
Well I am really settling down now, I am so excited to have this child, I will not need to have daycare bills of 750 a month because I am going to school 3 hours a day, my mom works from home also and offered to watch him or her, or I can have a babysitter. I will probably be there for my child more because I want him or her to have the best.
I am sorry to hear of some moms having a hard time raising their children, I wish I could do more for them. My best advice is you can only do the best you can with what you know....only when you receive more education can you do anything differently. Good luck, as for the guys who think pregnant women are sexy DAM STRAIGHT......we are sexy and you know what.....that makes us even more sexy.
Peace everyone | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/3/2007 6:49:52 PM | | Date a pregnant lady? Probably not. Just doesn't, really, seem like something to be even thinking about, if your are. It seems, though, I don't know, that you would be having other things on your mind. But I'm just a guy, what do I know... | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/3/2007 11:53:42 PM |
As for the guy it was a stupid night I passed out and well woke up with fewer clothes than I had originally went to sleep in. The guy is a coke head loser who does not deserve to be near my baby.
OK now it's worse than you originally stated. A child conceived from rape with a father you despise. I've not said anything to try to hurt you just asked you to look at all your options. Now that you've stated the above I implore you to go for counseling; this is crucial due to the circumstances under which this baby was conceived.
I am smart, and I have a plan. For the lady that said I should give my baby up for adoption obviously you have never carried a child. To have a bond with a child and give it up, Is the cruelest thing I have ever heard.
Obviously I have and more than than I've mothered children as well. If done correctly it is a loving task that will absorb most of your time, life. No actually the cruelest thing to do to a child is to deprive it of the proper parenting it is entitled to. The fact that you're looking to date at this time states that you're already thinking more of your own needs than those of the child you're carrying.
Look at the responses you received, most of the intelligent men here stated they wouldn't be dating a pregnant woman and some told you why.
As to the "dreamer" girl that thought it necessary to attack my opinion.......so? what do you know about mothering a child. And yes it is so easy to just state what the poster wants to hear but that is not going to help her or the child; you've no idea what single parenting with a rapist father in the picture can be like......It is not the OP's choice not to have this deadbeat involved with the child; he has as much right to the child as she does....I could say more but I realize that neither you or the OP has the education, intelligence or life experience to fully comprehend what is inanely being posed/pondered by her.
Just four months ago you thought it ok to be in bed with a cokehead, passed out from drugs or booze.........what's to keep you from doing that again on a future date? Except that now you'd be endangering the life of the child you're carrying.
Smart, God fearing........I think not......those are merely words, your actions state otherwise. | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 29 | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 12:06:27 AM | You know I never beleive in a full frontal attack but since you seem to love slamming women I shouldn't even dignify you with an answer.
You need to read I didn't do drugs I don't do drugs and never have or will. As for counselling I think you are the only one who needs it...when you say I hope I didn't hurt you...and then refer me as some woman you made up in your head shows your intelligence level.
The party was a back to university with friends we had a dress code...formal attire and another party came and crashed it I called the cops and they dealt with the situation. However I guess something must have slipped into my drink and I passed out in my own bed. Oh my goodness what a sleeze I am....I practically threw myself at the guy. I shouldn't have worn that dress ....you are the reason women think it is their fault. I don't know what cork you have jammed up your butt, please remove it when you give a sympathetic apology and then slam me against the wall again.
I am actually well versed in child rearing, I was in a relationship a year ago with a man who had a child and we were involved for quite some time so I have a slight idea. Oh and I will forgive you, in fact I wipe the dust you have brushed onto my name, I just feel bad that you feel so inclined to insult people you don't even know, maybe if you asked me what I am feeling or took the time to care you might look human, instead you look cruel. That my friend makes me laugh. AND I stated atleast twice I am not looking to date anyone, men in my opinion are like you say one thing and do another.
So yah I hope you feel really good about yourself, because you are such a wonderful woman and deep down you wish me well, just have a very strong way of making sure I get there. Thanks for everything. Oh and she attacked your opinion dreamer girl....I made you look exactly what you are.....fill in your own blank everyone fill in your own blank..... | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 2:24:24 AM | OP...a very wise girl once said "It doesn't matter what they call you, what matters is what you answer to."
I didn't attack you thedra...I called you bitter. And I'm pretty much still willing to stand behind that. Despite my lack of education. Oh Lord, you're hilarious. You know...I had just about given up on your generation when my Grandfather, who hadn't spoken to his oldest child in more than a couple decades, apologized for sending his daughter away to a home when she got pregnant as a teenager. He explained as he begged her forgiveness, that he only did what was expected of him at the time. He apologized for telling her that her child would never graduate from high school without the privilege of being conceived in marriage. I am the first person in my family to graduate from college, and I will be the first to graduate from law school also. You see, sometimes growing up without is enough to drive a person to achieve more than would ever be expected of them otherwise. I don't have children (yet another testament to my mothers ability to successfully raise a well adjusted child on her own) but I do have enough common sense to know that what the OP chooses to do with her child should not be subject to your opinion.
Note this for future reference thedra, you don't know me. If you did it would be undoubtedly clear that I never have a hard time saying what needs to be said. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 3:46:19 AM | I did not appologize to you; I stand by what I said. What I did say was,
I've not said anything to try to hurt you just asked you to look at all your options.
You say I slam women; what I said was just to you, you are not "all women". If you go back and reread my initial post you should see that what I did was offer another way of looking at your situation and my opinion, just that, there was no coercion. It was you and dreamer gal that attacked my opinion and me.
So I'm the reason women think "It's their fault"; given that this man raped you; when's the trial? Undoubtedly you've made certain he's being proscecuted to the full extent of the law as you would not want him around being able to rape yet another innocent girl would you.
I do feel sorry for you and wish you luck, but you're going to need more than that.
I don't have anger issues, on the contrary I think you do, at least it appears that way on here; glad I made you laugh. You can fill in the blank as nothing you say can offend me.
If my going to counseling is what it takes to get you there I'll go.
dreamer gal; wow you're a lawyer...........we're so impressed. Had to get that in there as though it equates intelligence. I'm not bitter, you are..........obviously feeling deprived cuz you had no dad as a child. Gee, I'd bet even a third grader could figure out your granpa and I are not the same generation..........unless he had your mom at 15 and she had you at 16.
beach babe you personally emailed me........I deleted it; anything you have to say to me you can say right here. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 3:59:27 AM | To message #4
OH my god!!
I understand that you are entitled to your opinion but this is my opinion: your god is dead lady and good riddance; let his ideological, unattainable, unreal, red-herring teachings about life die with him. Theologically speaking of course...
*shakes his weary head*
That has to the second most offensive post in this thread....right behind this one | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 4:05:49 AM | Theadra...you're a real piece of..........................work. Just as I suspected. You don't address the issue at hand, you attack some other aspect of the conversation that has little to do with the actual subject. My daddy wasn't around...I'm so hurt. Scuse me while I cry my eyes out. Becoming a lawyer does require a certain amount of education (note, I said education, not intelligence) which you claim (again without knowing me) that I lack. That was kind of my point.
In my eyes, you might as well be as old as my grandpa...ouch, didn't realize when I said it but that must hurt. Are you so sad that you're body has gone infertile that you are now prone to subject those that are still of child bearing years to your outdated opinion? A third grader could also be more qualified than you to understand that this is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Fool yourself all you want into thinking that you were "merely offering an alternative" but your ACTUAL POST says otherwise. You didn't answer the question asked. Instead you gave your opinion where it wasn't wanted and isn't needed. Don't fault me for calling you on it.
I'm done here...over and out. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 8:21:09 AM | No, she has much more important things to be thinking about than starrting a new romantic relationship.
Not to mention that the mood swings that accompany a 'normal' pregnancy would make it especially difficult to gauge her true personality AND the fact we wouldn't have much alone time in the not too distant future.
Very hard set of circumstances in which to begin dating. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 8:58:25 AM | As for the guy it was a stupid night I passed out and well woke up with fewer clothes than I had originally went to sleep in. The guy is a coke head loser who does not deserve to be near my baby.
Unless this douchebag is in jail for rape, don't come to the message boards claiming some b4stard raped you.
Libel much? | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 9:03:16 AM | | a real man will accept you for what you are. A WOMAN... so what your pregnant, it doesnt change feelings and emotions. i hope u find the right one | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 9:33:49 AM | (hint) ... its not about you  anymore.
I assume that you want this child- well does the possible bf want this child as well?
Will he be with you now and how long after the baby is born?
How can we not - address the negative- it is there waiting to be answered- by you.
Its not all that easy. So many things you gotta look at- FOR YOUR baby!
Oh- I just reread a response- and NO you wont have time for TRYing to work on a NEW relationship for YOU.
WHO will look after your child when your new possible wants to get out and about.
will you 'let him' go without you?
WHAT emotional distruptions...will he be adding to your already- post partum probs?
Wow... you sure have your hands full... sry- but its not about you.
Oh...? Do you have children already...or is this your first?
Cuz- if you do- then you know what happens after the baby arrives. ALL the stress/ depression... quite normal- but will he be able to handle it also?
eeekkkk... well- then again- if you find that special sum1- good for you.
BUT its not about you- LOL sry- I keep saying that- BUT its tru!
HE hasta accept your new baby too! HOW long will he be there for you...now? after the baby arrives? HE has no real obligation to stik around. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 12:08:18 PM | yeah i would if i liked her that much, and if i loved her...well who knows what could happen
ive dated girls who have had 2 kids from 2 different fathers in the past, so what? i got on really well with her kids so much so they wanted me to be their father because i paid so much attention too them and took them places had fun just like kids should do when they are growing up
things didnt work out in the end but still for a short while i had the joy of feeling like a parent
and it felt pretty damn good to me
so yeah why not? single mothers have a really hard time but they are brave to sacrifice their lives and their fun and freedom for their children when they could quite easily have an abortion or have the child adopted
that takes a hell of a lot of courage
good for you beach babe good for you
and fu-ck all you ignorant assholes who are putting her down your all full of sh-it | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 12:14:09 PM | | I think I have received the information I wanted. With dreamergirl i am over and out, lets move on to the next subject. Thanks for all the responses, they have been interesting. I am going to live my life my way regardless of the negative feedback, I can see true angels through this storm and for those I wish well, for the others...well you did make me laugh. Who knows maybe I will write a book about my experience make millions and keep my integrity in tact... | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 2:57:47 PM | | Pregnant women are beautifull and I hope you find someone to share in the miricle you are about to receive. As for the father being out of the picture honey you gotta realize thats never going to happen. You just need to find the right guy and I'm sure he's out there for you! Be open and honest and things should work out and if not our going to soon have a partner in life that outweighs all the rest of the world. Don't give up on your dreams stay in school and you'll get from the world what it promisses. Good luck honey! | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 7:04:21 PM | There are times when I wonder if some of these posts aren't total fiction--like those letters Yale men used to write to Ann Landers, posing as unwed mothers, or as daughters who were having affairs with their fathers-in-law, asking her advice in the hopes that she would take it seriously and look stupid by responding. This post seems like one of these.
How could anyone ask whether she should be on a dating site looking to hook up with a man when she is four months pregnant with another man's child? Even she admits
[I also feel embarrassed to even be on this website due to being pregnant]
And she doesn't want to hear any negative feedback--just a chorus of "you go girl!" Did she think that men on this site who are serious about finding a real relationship would leap at the chance?
Beachbabe tries to qualify things things when the comments run predominantly negative by saying she is just looking for a friend, but her post says
[ I would love to meet a guy who I can date.]
And just to reassure those few interested male posters that they can expect something more than a platonic pal, she emphasizes
[as for the guys who think pregnant women are sexy DAM STRAIGHT......we are sexy and you know what.....that makes us even more sexy].
(Don't take her word for it, ask the guy who fathered her baby).
As for that begetting, something about her description of that episode rings false. She portrays herself as total victim
[ I guess something must have slipped into my drink]
but she obviously knew the "coke head loser" because unless she held the party in her bedroom, how did the aforesaid loser find her in her own bed after she passed out? And despite her condemnation of her baby's father as someone
[ who does not deserve to be near my baby],
in a post on another thread, she implies that he is the one who wants no part of family life with her. As others have pointed out--if he raped her, why hasn't she brought charges against him? Theadra has rightly pointed out that children born in circumstances of rape are statistically much more likely to be raised in an atmosphere of latent, sometimes subconcious hostility from their mother, than other children born out of wedlock, but when the sex between parents was consensual. Furthermore, even if Beachbabe were to press charges, there is no way she can legally keep the father away from his child. Like so many other times in her story, she is acting irresponsibly if she thinks that without some emotional and legal counseling everything will just work itself out. Highly unlikely, but a child's life and future are the stakes she is playing for in this game of chance.
Many posters here have been concerned enough considering these high stakes to try to offer some reasonable suggestions--which some of Beachbabe's supporters have characterized as meddling. It's too bad that not hearing what she wants to be told upsets Beachbabe, but she is not likely to make the right decisions in the future without listening to the suggestions of others who aren't just trying to cosset her. Her record to date is evidence of less than well-informed judgement, and despite those who attempt to lionize her by making statements like
[single mothers have a really hard time but they are brave to sacrifice their lives and their fun and freedom for their children],
all I can say is that her last expressed attitude
[I am going to live my life my way regardless of the negative feedback],
and her insistence on maintaining her work, her studies, and her dating in the face of her looming and daunting parental responsibilities, doesn't show much evidence of a spirit of sacrifice and abnegation. Again, those of us who have seen the results of lives lived "doing it my way"--especially when children are involved--are perhaps people whose opinions merit more consideration by Beachbabe, and others.
(I realize that those posters who made nasty remarks about the age of people who were trying to offer honest advice aren't likely to consider any perspective but their own, and my remarks aren't intended for them, anyway; the great satisfaction one feels hearing the arrogant attitudes of such people comes from knowing that sooner than they make think, these scoffers will be on the receiving end of disrespect from a new generation. What's best for Beachbabe's child is the only issue of importance, and to ask if men on a singles site would date a pregnant woman--even for "hanging out"--doesn't indicate that her priorities are in her baby's best interests). | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 8:20:17 PM | Okay...maybe one last post...
The PROBLEM is...what WE HAVE BEEN ASKED TO do is ANSWER THE QUESTION. Ann Landers probably didn't spent much time worrying about which letters were real and which were fake, my guess is she focused her answers on the actual question posed to her.
Too often in these forums someone takes the conversation off track by throwing in their two cents on the morality of the issue. The title of the thread is "Would you date a woman who is pregnant?" and not "What should I do with my unborn child?" or "What do you think of me being pregnant by some drugged out coke head rapist that I'm not married to?" Theadra chose to stick her nose in and tell the OP what she should do with her child. It wasn't her business then and no amount of education, intellect or life experience will ever make her more qualified to spout off about another persons situation.
The reality of this is that I agree on many points with both you and Theadra...I even exchanged emails with the OP in which I expressed to her that her making the decision to keep her child's father out of his or her life would be comparable to Theadra making her decision regarding what to do with her unborn child. She doesn't have the right, I agree. She shouldn't be dating, I agree. She has made bad decisions, I agree. BUT...
**BUT**
I understand that it is none of my business, nor is it Theadras.
I actually learned a lot about my family because of this thread. I understand that making fun of someones age is juvenile and that with any luck, I too will someday have as many years under my belt. The difference between her and I, and what I have a problem with...is that in all of those years she has yet to grasp when to type and when shut the hell up because it isn't her place.
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 47 | |
| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 8:34:15 PM | What BaronCorvo said!
<div class='quote'>Good luck, as for the guys who think pregnant women are sexy DAM STRAIGHT......we are sexy and you know what.....that makes us even more sexy.
Guys that say that only provide lip service...make's 'em look better than the
guys who are honest enough to say otherwise but IMO they are full
of it. I'd have said the same if I were DESPERATE but I'm not and can afford
to speak the truth.
sex·y (sks)
adj. sex·i·er, sex·i·est
Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.
I've never felt sexually aroused by a pregnant woman - SHE'S PREGNANT! It's
a beautiful thing...giving life, that's undoubtedly true but SEXY??
Let's cut the crap gentlemen.
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 9:58:34 PM | | I asked a question, and got more than I expected. I don't want sympathy if I wanted to be a victim I could be. I am not ashamed to be pregnant or be a mother. I asked a question would you date a woman who is pregnant.....I DID NOT ASK I AM PREGNANT WOULD YOU DATE ME!!!!! There is a slight difference. If I wasn't pregnant it would be a generic question, however since I am it means I want to date someone. Incorrect I am busy enough and as for sacrifices, you don't know what I have had to give up as it is. My family has given my the liberty to continue on with school so I am so I can provide for my child in the future years, opposed to being a victin hiding in my room and crying about what happened to me. I am putting myself through school, having this baby in june. I have lots of help at home that enables me to be at school for 3 hours at a time. | |
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