| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:01:42 PM | | I won't, not because you are pregnant but because I lack the maturity required to raise a child. It also depends on the age of the person. If the girl is 18 or 19 and got herself pregnant then I wouldn't date her just for the fact that she was stupid enough to get pregnant at such an early age outside of a serious relationship. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:02:09 PM | you 1st post says..you would love to find a guy to date,,,but, now you say ,,not? I am confuzzled..maybe my hormones have run amok | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 12:39:21 AM | Just for your information dreamer;
FORUM: (NOUN) A PLACE, MEETING OR MEDIUM WHERE IDEAS AND VIEWS ON A PARTICULAR ISSUE CAN BE EXCHANGED.
When you post a thread in a forum you can't expect to control the exchange of views and ideas to just those you want to hear.
I think you're not sticking with the issue you're too fixated in flaming me rather than answer the question posed, "Would you date a woman who is pregnant?" Your first post begins with a characterization attack and an attempt to flame me. Including;
I had just about given up on your generation
You have so many issues.
I even exchanged emails with the OP in which I expressed to her that her making the decision to keep her child's father out of his or her life would be comparable to Theadra making her decision regarding what to do with her unborn child.
How stupid is that? The fact that you've given the same weight to both the father of the child and me is asinine. He has legal rights, I've merely stated an opinion or suggestion. Given that you're an attorney perhaps the OP may have grounds to report you to the Bar Association for fictitious advice. Think you need additional legal studies.
yet to grasp when to type and when shut the hell up because it isn't her place.
Physician, heal thyself; it is not your place to be telling me what I can or cannot speak to nor to flame me for speaking my opinion.
Note this for future reference thedra, you don't know me. If you did it would be undoubtedly clear that I never have a hard time saying what needs to be said.
Nor do I as you've plainly seen. The big difference though is that I'm giving/offering suggestions to someone, the OP, severly in need of guidance; someone who doesn't have the slightest clue as to what she is about to face as the mother of a child born of rape and without adaquate resources. You on the other hand get off on attempting to flame, insult me.
Go ahead, just realize that nothing you've said or will say will offend me.......just because it's coming from you; I could care less what you think of me or my opinions. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 1:36:48 AM | I think THEADRA is seriously off her rocker 58 years old and takes pictures of herself in her Bra. sounds like she should go talk to her grand kids.
I'd be around for a pregnant girl as a friend and some one to lean on and help her out but we'd definately have to have a conversation on if something were to happen in the sense of a dating relationship. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:29:31 AM |
As to the "dreamer" girl that thought it necessary to attack my opinion.......so? what do you know about mothering a child. And yes it is so easy to just state what the poster wants to hear but that is not going to help her or the child; you've no idea what single parenting with a rapist father in the picture can be like......It is not the OP's choice not to have this deadbeat involved with the child; he has as much right to the child as she does....I could say more but I realize that neither you or the OP has the education, intelligence or life experience to fully comprehend what is inanely being posed/pondered by her.
Alright I have stayed out of this on elong enought.. but now I have a few words to say.
Ok first of all, I am 23, I am a mother of 3 children, ages 5 3 and 2, i was married and now am divorced, i am no longer single either. i am with a gentle man who is caring and loving who also has 2 kids from a previous relationship. When i had my first I was only 17 on my ownmy fahter had commited suicide 3 months before i had my first. I met my ex husband when my 5 year old was 1.5 years old. we had kids and seperated and now look i have a good man.
So all you have to do is just wait cause LOTS of men do date women who are prego or with kids
AND TO THE OLD RE TARDED BAT THAT IS SAYING THAT SHE IS GOING TO GO COKE UP AGAIN
maybe you should read the post, she had a couple of drinks and then passed out I am pretty sure it take more then a couple of drinks to pass out being a nurse and all and the obivous thing is that yeah probally the date-rape drug was slipped in the drink
so SHUT THE F U CK UP | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:52:46 AM | Daydreamer, I think you are confusing "forum" with "poll." If all we can do in this thread is say whether we would date a pregnant woman or not, I think we can conclude the "nays" have it and delete all replies from straight women--who are genetically and by inclination incapable of making an informed reply.
Beachbabe introduced questions of, if not morality, then at least propriety, in her original post when she admitted she felt "embarassed" to even be on this site. I don't need to tell a lawyer that once an issue has been raised, it is susceptible to scrutiny by others. If all she wanted was an answer to the question, she shouldn't have volunteered all the other information about the circumstances of her embarazo.
There's no doubt this young woman is in a very difficult position--a position the seriousness of which I'm not sure she fully comprehends from many of the statements she has made here. To downplay the difficulties she is facing is doing her no favor. Being on this site and seeking support for her admitted desire to date a man (read her profile and her statements in this thread if you don't think that's what she wants), is a clear indication this woman needs a serious reality check. As the poster of message 41 says [its not about you anymore].
Nor does a misguided attempt at being supportive of her require personal attacks on those who are trying to give her that reality check. Perhaps there is some personal subtext to the virulence with which you express your impatience with Theadra's posts, but whatever the reason, your condemnations have further sidetracked the original conversation. Perhaps we should all refrain from further comment on this thread, as the OP seems fairly determined to not listen to anyone but those willing to ignore an inconvenient truth. (I would, however, like to suggest Beachbabe give some thought to the following scenario: some day in the future when your child asks you to tell about his or her father, do you have an answer planned other than that "he was a coke head loser who fathered you while I was passed out from something he put in my drink"?)
(Incidentally, Ann Landers actually did spend a lot of time checking her more outlandish letters to see if they were postmarked from New Haven. If you read her collected columns, you will see her gleefully dissect the merry pranksters' shams more than once. And although her advice didn't serve to keep her own marriage intact, she was a sharp lady with common sense, which she credited to lots of life experience and to keeping an open mind--not a bad plan for the rest of us.) | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 9:15:25 AM | | First and formost, congrats on your pregnancy, it is one of the most wonderful times of your life. Second, I am a single mom (like most out there) but I did it on my own at 18. My daughters father is and never has been in the picture, he cut all ties when i told him I was pregnant. Yes, it's going to be hard, and yes there will be some days that you wish you had have made a different decision. But there will also be the millions of times in one day when you look at your child and can't remember what life was like before. I was lucky enough to have a very close friend end up dating me towards the end of my pregnancy, he was also the one that was in the delivery room when my child was born. A lot of guys will look at it as 'an already made family' and either want whole-heartedly to be there for both you and the baby, or run. And remember, there is no, just you any more, if someone won't accept your child, than they can't accept you. That child is number one now, and believe me, you won't want to be with someone who doesn't want that child. I'm not saying that you are 'looking for a dad' for the child, but many people see it that way, because there is no 'father' in the childs life. I am hoping that there are as many male role models in the baby's life for you as there are for me. My daughter has her grandpa, her poppa, and her uncles, and those are the only 'fathers' that she will ever need. If someone comes into your life that wants both you and your child, make it clear to him, that you don't want him to be dad, you just want him to be their friend. I wish you all the luck in the world, and I know, by you making the decision to do this on your own, you are going to be an absolutely wonderful mother, and everything that child could ask for. Don't give up hope, the right one is out there somewhere!!! | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 9:15:36 AM | Okay, in all honesty... I kinda understand where your coming from in a way.. I joined this site when I was pregnant.. I didnt really tell many people that though lol.. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't on here looking for "mr. baby daddy" And im sure your not either.
People have to understand it gets boring being a single pregnant person and coming on here and chatting can be fun.
Doesn't mean that your going to be paying all the girls bills if you hook up with her.
Just because someone has a child doesnt mean that they want you to father it.
Moms have needs to damnit lol..
I dont even interduce guys to my baby inless i know its totally serouis...
anyways i do have a point here.. lol stop picking on this girl, i totally see where shes coming from | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 10:18:31 AM |  sry- back again. 
Its just that - if you remember or know of post partum... how will you handle 'him' leave you after the baby is born?
This affects ev1 - diff. Short peiod...LONG time thing... who knows.
LOL- when I went thru that- OMG- I swear my husband jus didnt know what to do.
HE was not to blame- but- I told him - that it may get harsh-  BUT it is jus what we go thru-
BUT r u prepared for this ...possible end of a relationship after your baby is born.
would you be bale to handle your heart- feelings?
You say your family is there... good for you to have 'that support' ... but -
if a male is gonna come into your life- as a 'friend' ... then he hasta know too- what he is getting into- meaning...that he should know that he is messing with - emotions.
HE knows that he is free to come and go as he pleases.
Will you be able to handle that? Lettin him- go to 'clubs' parties without you?
I dont think that I could.
Sigh- just so many things to consider here. Your child... your new relationships...your job- your school... ***I wish you the best- and things will fall into place. ***
****************************
LMAO->>> "Moms have needs to damnit...lol"
ummm- ya n thats why we are in this situation...LOL CUZ of needs...and not protecting ourselves properly.
BUT ya- its NOT only US that hafta - be responsible- these 'guys' do to....duh.
SUM ppl- talk as tho- ... we 'jus are all of a sudden pregnant' ... dunno what she ate- but now she knocked up' ....lmao
I just laff so hard at that...thought... ya know? ... ya, now shes pregnant... I didnt know- with ending in; wonder how that happened? may not be mine after all....LMAO
LIKE trying to say: this guy- brushed up against me- now- heeeeeeeey... I am pregnant. dang.
It is still so amazing the way- guys can say- ...but we only 'did it once' .... omg! thats all it takes dumb-A'
or: but we didnt finish... it cant be mine....LMAO- (too funny) ---- but not.
CUZ there are now other lil people involved and unfathered.
ALL in all- you are bring a child into this world- totally your choice. (and really- good for you)
BUT just try prepare your heart for more heartbreaking relationships.
Guys can accept that they have not fathered your baby and still be there lovin you and this baby- others may 'think' that they can...BUT fully realizing that - they are free to leave when tired of crying baby (sry) .
THAT of which- would be just plain MEAN.
I mean- if you dont know what - YOU (guys) want from a possible partner- and knowing that she has kids- dont lead her on... you move on.
Its not only her heart that you may break- its the childs too. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 1:25:39 PM | I think if I were you I would concentrate on having that baby, loving that baby and being the best mom you can be. I am rememberng being pregnant and don't recall really being interested in dating...my own husband lmao.
What I am saying is their is time for everything....it is baby/mom time now....man time will come later..... when you stop searching for stuff you find it.... being friends is of course good...by the way...you wouldn't want to eventually wind up intimate with a man who wasn't your friend would you? Just a thought. Best of luck to you.
That girl | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 3:06:28 PM | Thearda...I think the problem here is that you are not reading the actual posts. You may see the words but you are incapable of rationally interpreting them. For example:
I NEVER said I was an attorney. What I said was...I will be the first in my family to graduate from law school. ANY person with ANY sense could reasonably deduct that this statement means that I HAVE YET to graduate from law school. That means I have yet to pass the bar exam and I am not (as of yet) a member of any bar association. Also, I in no way stated my educational achievements and/or aspirations to toot my own horn. I said it with the purpose of giving an example of how a child (me) can be raised in a family without a father and still rise above the standards set for them by their own family.
The fact that you've given the same weight to both the father of the child and me is asinine.
How many times in this thread have I said "My point exactly"? It would be asinine to do so. The idea is that she has as much legal right to keep the child's father out of the picture as you do in determining who should parent this child.
As for my being an attorney...If you had been paying attention to more than your own interpretation of the words exchanged on this thread you might have taken note of the FACT that to OP lives in CANADA and even if I were a member of any bar association...any legal advise offered by me would hardly have much to do with CANADIAN law.
As for:
Note this for future reference thedra, you don't know me. If you did it would be undoubtedly clear that I never have a hard time saying what needs to be said.
The difference between you and I is that I did not claim, as you did, that you were in any way pacifying the OP or telling her what she wanted to hear. You said:
And yes it is so easy to just state what the poster wants to hear but that is not going to help her or the child
and you directed that statement at me. I never said you were incapable of saying what needs to be said. I said it wasn't your business to do so (Unless she had asked, the OP didn't.)
Your first post begins with a characterization attack and an attempt to flame me.
That wasn't my first post, it was my second.
You have so many issues.
good one, and yet somehow deficient.
Since you opted to google search the definition of a forum, I decided to take a peak at the actual forum rules. Those that apply are stated below.
*No Misquotations or Misrepresentations of other Posters. This is considered Libel.
I never said I was an attorney. You misquoted me and misrepresented what was actually written before you.
*OT noun, (discussion board abbr.) 1. A Message Post is said to be "On-Topic" if it is within the bounds of the Subject of Discussion.
the original post went a little something like this:
Would you date a woman who is pregnant? Posted: 1/3/2007 12  20 AM I am 4 months pregnant, the father is not involved and never will be. It is a long story, however I am still a great person. I am not completely jaded about men. I am still going to school full time. I run my at home business, writing articles for web designers and designing my own. I would love to meet a guy who I can date. Does it really freak a guy out to date a pregnant chick. I am not looking for a father for this baby, I am looking for a guy for me. Is it better to wait till the baby is born, then I am just a single mom who works and goes to school? I also feel embarrassed to even be on this website due to being pregnant. Most guys are not looking for a premade bun in the oven so to speak. I have dated men with children, I guess it is different for women we are natural nurtures. I would like positive feedback, I get enough of the negative crap, honestly it solves nothing. I am a god fearing woman, thus the reason I am carrying this child, I do not believe in abortion. I look forward to hearing from you all.
The OP never asked what WE think she should do with HER unborn child.
*Flame or Flaming noun, adj., verb (discussion board slang) 1. Excessive Aggression to other Forum Posters.
Do I really need to explain myself here? I said:
OP...thedra is exactly who you don't want to become. Bitter, party of one.
I'm still searching for the excessive aggression.
This has become a waste of time and I'm done. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 3:59:26 PM | Of all the forums I have read this has been one of the most heated debates. Ladies I do not want to start a war. In a way you both are correct if I am objective. However this is is a "ask a guy" answer column just a point to stand out. I am asking the men folk. Not that I am not grateful for the insight. The men have been very yay or nay and their reasoning. Should women give up completely in romance because they have been hurt, that should be another forum, however for fear of starting another rolling debate of the old versus the beautiful.....no thanks.
I do not think motherhood will be a walk in the park, everything always has a price. Now in a very round about way the question would you date a woman who is pregnant has been answered in many different ways, from different people. That is all I ask, yes I would love to find romance however I am not waiting by the phone.
I made it personable and next time I won't make my life so public, it is something I forget. Too much information never helped anyone. Well lets see where this cookie will drop. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 9:38:57 PM | dammit again man i dont know how to work this thing anyways i was referring to message #40 from Deshawn124
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"a real man will accept you for what you are. A WOMAN... so what your pregnant, it doesnt change feelings and emotions. i hope u find the right one"
kuddos man well said :)
sorry about the excess posts ppl ... good luck beach babe with everything | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/5/2007 9:45:36 PM | | Good luck with your baby. Anyone who would like you normally should like you now. If not, they arent worth knowing. My best friend had a daughter at 17, and her life is not over. Ignore negative feedback. Birth can only be seen as a positive thing. Take care. x | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/6/2007 8:24:14 PM | | My buddy just had a kid and everytime I saw his wife i got soooo excited. You glow, you know, you really glow. I would date a prgnant lady in a second but not for any other reason than that I thought she was cool. My buddy was a lucky bast@rd and so are you! | |
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argfin
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 70 | |
| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/7/2007 11:39:43 AM | If I liked you, I'd date you. Simple.
Personally I think your situation is good.
A guy can know the child from birth (being step dad to a 13yr old must be hell!), the father won't be a problem, you have a job and are studying too...
You sound great to me.
The only thing that worries me about single mums is that I'm just a meal ticket so to speak. But you have a job. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/7/2007 11:49:47 AM | Being involved with a pregnant woman is tough...
How many guys have already done this kind of thing before, and remember all the times they had to pamper their wives because their ankles were swollen or they had some crazy craving? As the due date gets closer, there is no position that she can get comfortable.. she is beyond moody (Jekyl and Hyde have nothing on a pregnant woman)..
If you are just starting to date, thats a lot to ask of someone. Personally, I wouldn't date you if you were pregnant.. but I'm sure there are a lot of guys out there that would. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/7/2007 12:55:09 PM | If it was my child, then I would.
If it was another man's child, then I would not.
If you were responsible, you would put your rapist in jail where he belongs so he couldn't rape anymore women. Just think, you are having a child, now you are alowing a known rapist the oppotunity to rape another mother's child. | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/7/2007 2:40:03 PM | | I must confess to wondering what the issue would be. If two people hit it off and the chemistry seems right I fail to see the issue. Just a potential added plus if things work down the road | |
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| Would you date a woman who is pregnant?
Posted: 1/7/2007 4:25:46 PM | Hey...I think of what u said about her thinkin about letting her baby up for adoption... c'mon please... I'm positive that if she decided to keep the baby its for a reason.... Yes she maybe a single parent but who cares... Half of our society today is either divorced or what so ever... For instance , my cousin she's 28.. works for the government... and she has 3 children ... Her daughter which is from her first marriage.. then her son which she raised alone by herself coz that was her decision... and her third son which she had with her HUSBAND who was cheating with a 17 year old gilr... c'mon ...With all the stress shes livin right now... dont u think her 2nd pregnancy was easier even tho she was a single mom...
Anyways I'm sure shes gonna be a great mother and she's going to find the right man coz half of the ladies today are seperated and has children already... whats the big difference?
Good luck with everything and I'm sure u made the right decision! | |
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