| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/4/2007 4:30:37 PM | I dated a guy briefly here from POF and found his profile/emails/text messages to be utterly charming, wonderful, eloquent, fun, romantic, clever, witty, grammatically correct - big turn on - , sweet, uplifting, and kind.....
THAT was his "electronic" self. The flesh-and-blood person sadly did not measure up. Some people are GREAT in cyberspace and less than great in real life. I had an inkling about the foregoing about a little under a month into things. Glad I didn't invest a lot of time or emotion in him.
............sigh........... Oh well, could have been worse.
WD | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/4/2007 11:09:52 PM | For those of you who feel that profiles are full of lies or half-truths, I invite you to look at mine because it is the complete, 100% honest truth.
But I can understand why some might be tempted to be less than honest. In love and the quest for a loving partner, like politics, sometimes the real truth gets you nowhere. It is more than obvious from the amount of threads by guys wondering why we nice guys cannot even get kissed once in a while (for me it's been over 14 years), the truth seems to be that a good many women don't want the truth. they want the "illusion" of a "man."
I can begin to name all the women I know who found their muscular, tall, hunky man who was built like a gorilla, and then (surprise, surprise) turned into a gorilla. Somewhere I read the statistic (and I don't doubt it for a moment) that nearly 90% of all women are sexually active within the past year, while less than 45% of all men can say the same, even though our primal, animal ways of thinking would lead to the opposite conclusion. Truth is, small, short men make up the largest percentage of unmarried and childless men in the world... that's been backed up by several extensive university studies on human sexual behavior.
Women might say they want honesty... well if you do, here I am. But I suspect when it comes to choosing a mate to father children, the animal side comes out the winner and the "walrus" and the "lion" and the "gorilla" end up victorious.
Even at my age, I haven't given up. I want kids. I always have and I always will. I have a God-given gift with them, it's just God hasn't provided for me the woman who is willing and joyful about bringing me everything I have ever wanted... and chances are everything she has ever wanted too. That is if what she wants is a male who will see her and ONLY her, who likes to gfive a back rub as much as get one, and who would gladly let her sleep so that I may have the privildege of changing the diapers. Just whether I can find a woman who can see what is unseen but solid. loving, loyal to a fault and truthful is another issue entirely.
YES, as you might guess, I am feeling just a tad defeated and maybe even bitter. Ask your self how you would feel if you had waited 14 years for just a kiss nevermind anything else. I think ou might feel exactly the same too if you've been waiting as long as I have, and see no hope in sight, even here where so many woman claim they are seeking a "nice guy." | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/4/2007 11:49:10 PM | I guess the big question I have from reading this, is wether people come to expect lying on profiles? If they do then the honest among us are at a serious disadvantage because readers will constantly be trying to "read between the lines".
If that is the case then I should be a "Rocket Engineering Brain Surgeon, who moonlights as a Chip n' Dales dancer & I am making great improvments in my research on attainable world peace" | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/5/2007 9:09:23 AM | | I dont think we are surprised to find liers online it is only the way we feel after when we have been taken in by their lies. Makes one read between the lines and be alot more careful the next time we decide to attempt another date. ( and an original copy of a divorce certificate as well as verification of employment plus 3 references sounds good to me ) | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/5/2007 9:24:03 AM | | Statistics cite that most people fib a little online. Women usually lie about their weight, men about their height. No matter where anyone's particular specs are at, they think a little more makes them look better. Problem is of course that they'll get found out sooner or later, so there's no point in being anything else than who you truly are. Otherwise, you have to always be that fake person. | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/5/2007 10:46:08 AM |
Statistics cite that most people fib a little online. Women usually lie about their weight, men about their height. No matter where anyone's particular specs are at, they think a little more makes them look better.
Too true, statistics probably also cite that those who lie a little probably get laid more too... but i digress... BTW I say on my profile that my height is 5'5... that was going on memory from high school. Well the other day I measured myself and I was exactly 5'5... phew I didn't lie hahaha...
Problem is of course that they'll get found out sooner or later, so there's no point in being anything else than who you truly are. Otherwise, you have to always be that fake person.
I know a few guys that lie their ass off in their profile and mostly get away with it... they definatley have more success than I do... so it is tempting to join them... you know the old saying "if you can't beat em" But i've always believed in not tangling myself up with lies from the get go in relationships. | |
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| too tempting to fib
Posted: 1/5/2007 11:24:37 AM | maybe it does say something about a person's background, morals ,and standards, however I'd love to lie and say I don't enjoy anything illegal. it's tempting but why start a relationship off on a lie.
and i'm taking a big risk admitting even to my vacation habits, i could be fired, lose my license and investigated everytime I tell someone my first name!
that's it, from now on my name is Joe, most people are too shy to meet in person anyways | |
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| actually i forgot
Posted: 1/5/2007 11:33:51 AM | | well doesn't matter, it's been like 5 months since the summer, they can't prove anything, phew | |
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| actually i forgot
Posted: 1/5/2007 12:33:37 PM | I wrote my profile to be an honest and truthful representation of the person that I am.
I sometimes wonder if I would have a better chance if I just lied and sugar coated everything in my profile.
But then again I think I am better than that and one day someone will notice. | |
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 38 | |
| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/6/2007 9:18:28 AM | Mine have always been accurate. I've met a lot of people from POF and they all said I was exactly like they thought I'd be personality wise, err maybe a bit taller. I guess 5'9" seems bigger in real life for a girl.
My profile used to be more detailed with pics but I just rejoined again. | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/6/2007 2:37:56 PM | Why lie....what's the point? Personally everything in my profile is accurate. Sooner or later you'll just get busted lying, then you just look like a real @$$hole and make others even more skeptical about the next one. But hey, that's just me. Maybe that's why all I get to 90% of my messages is READ/DELETED! I'm a real person.......not a fantasy. Sorry!!
I have found that many(not all) women looking for a "Nice guy" really aren't, no matter how much you have in common. Case in point; looked at a profile from a lady recently a little distance away, but at least in the same state. Headline.....looking for a nice guy.....we had many thing is common, just about everything from her profile and mine matched. Never got a reply....just READ/DELETED. Now I realize, maybe she already found someone, or whatever. Why not send a message saying...I'm sorry, but....... If you found someone, why keep your profile active? Looking for greener grass over the septic tank? LMAO ...
It's sad people have to embellish thier profiles just to sound cool, hip, interesting, etc. Oh well...... I've said my peace, though I rarely post in the forums I found this hit close to home. | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/6/2007 8:45:34 PM | Thing people have to keep in mind is that on the net or phone a person can be anything they want. Not that it's good or even right to do this, it's all part of a fantasy to those that do.
I've kept mine pretty much the same, reworded it a time or two to keep it simple and added newer pics of myself, but it's the truth and nothing more.
When I read someone's profile, I take it with a grain of salt. | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/7/2007 8:20:17 AM | Well I just had a bad experiance last night... I am new to this and met someone and we talked for 2 weeks before i agreed to meet him. Only when he showed up last night it was obvious that his picture was about 10-15 years old and he looked NOTHING like it. I even made sure during the two weeks we talked (emails then phone) to ask very specific questions like about the picture and was not given an honest answer so i found out... its so frustrating and now i am so discouraged. My profile is real and honest, and i dont kknow why everyone feels the need to not be the same, you have everything to lose by not being honest. If someone is interested in me, i want them to REALLY be interested in me, not something fake... I am not sure how to proceed now in all this...
Angela | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/7/2007 8:27:57 AM | Mine's completely honest & to the point.
Regarding lies, I don't care what you lie about. If I catch you in a single lie, I'm not interested. If you aren't comfortable telling me the truth, then I'm not comfortable talking to you.
If you are so ashamed of something that you can't tell the truth, then you need to reevaluate your choices, hobbies, and/or habits. | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/7/2007 9:14:14 AM | Personally, I think, on average a person does both, but never with a lie. For example, how many men and women write: intelligent, good looking, fun loving, sensitive, and honest? First and for most, all those words are suggestive and individually based. What you might considered intelligent, good looking, fun loving, sensitive, and honest may be different than how the writer sees it. And then again, think of the volumes of people stating that in some form or fashion. How do you choice from A, B, C, and D? So, now we have to add a little spice to our profile to make us stand out. So, we add the sexy picture, make suggestive or humorous comments, or we show our angst by getting in your face, or we play the role of dark and mysterious. But, I am going to bet that most of these people were both honest and glossy in their profiles.
Now here is the problem by basing who you should email/go out with based on their profile...There profile (like a resume) is only but a abstract to who that person is. For example: A woman can have all the qualities I want, look like a goddess, and don't smoke or drink. I start hanging out with her and I find out that she has an anger issue (just loves beating up on those who cross her), I may not be looking for a second date with her. Or date for a few months and then later finds out that she has another man (or woman) in the wind and she has been messing around with them too. So, to just based rather or not a person is who they are based on a profile is bad juju. But, still you have to do it because, this isn't like sitting down in front of someone and talking or after seeing them for a while (like that hottie at work). | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/7/2007 11:51:25 AM | When I did my profile, I had my best friend review it to see if I had anything inaccurate in it. (This person is my best friend because she is totally honest and will tell a person exactly what she thinks and not what they want to hear.)
I want my profile to reflect who I am, and it is too much work to pretend I am something I am not.
Though now I realize that it is first and foremost about appearance. If they don't like your picture, and think your hot - they won't go further. | |
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| Profiles: Are they accurate or made to look good (but not too truthful).
Posted: 1/7/2007 12:35:38 PM | Isn't the goal here to meet someone we could make a connection with? Isn't the slightest bit of dishonesty contrary to that goal?
Or does one really think that upon meeting the "real" you, it would be so overwhelming awesome, I would fall at your feet in a swoon. If that is the case, we have come full circle. Just be honest to start with. | |
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