| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 3:51:34 AM | Maybe she meant their goals and attitudes toward life were not on the same page. Maybe she meant he didn't have enough ambition in life.
Who knows, didn't your mother ever say someone you were dating wasn't good enough for you? It wasn't said in a mean way it was always said in your best interest.. I probably heard those exact words from my mother every time I dated anyone. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 3:55:18 AM | s'okay I'm sure some guys feel the same way about her.
It seems like a harsh way to put things and she just might be seriously limiting herself from someone great but thats her loss right?
I don't think saying things like "we aren't compatable" or "we don't have much in common" translates into "he/she isn't good enough for me" *at all*!
I've said the former but never really thought someone wasn't good enough for me!
I can only think of a few scenarios where I would ever say that, and none of them have happened to me so far ,thankfully. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 6:07:37 AM | | You might not like her choice of words, but you along with everyone else has either "done, or said" the same thing. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:01:11 AM | | I was more interested in your equating having 7 kids as the same as drug dealing? | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:07:28 AM | | It pisses me off that mind set, NO ONE is "too good" for me, with that attitude he's too good for her! I don't care if it's because he can't speak english that well or whatever. Gotta frame it so YOUR the prize man! | |
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:18:17 AM | > She had been on 3 dates with a guy and discontinued because she stated that: "he wasn't good enough for me".
What SHE is likely saying, " I am too shallow and too busy to put any work into understanding and liking this man. I want to go out and have fun, so if he isn't entertaining me, he isn't worth bothering with, so I am changing channels. Give me the remote!"
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:22:19 AM |
I understand no chemistry or something specific like he's a drug addict or has 7 kids, but a general statement like that seems so egotistical. We discussed it, and she had specific complaints other than he wasn't good enough. Maybe I'm being irrationally sensitive but this type of attitude really annoys me.
You think others should be more like you apparently. If that is the case, that is egocentric. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:30:46 AM | | OP: It's funny how this same phrase can be used after a long term relationship as well: 'I guess she wasn't good enough,' means she was not ideal enough or failed to meet expectations. It's seems perfectly natural to have expectations since we create an image for ourself of that special someone we would like to be with and when they fail to live up to the promise of our image of them, we either settle in to relive that dissappointment daily or pack our bags and go. Your ex had problems finding someone perfect for her, and that happened not to be you. Keep the friendship but don't wait around for her to be for you back. If she does, she's hopelessly confused about what she really wants. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:31:35 AM | Well she's just being honest, even if it is in an offensive manner where she makes an unpopular, arrogant statement.
I tend to answer most threads with butal honesty that will help the OP see the light. Even if it is an unpopular thing to say. To butter things up to spare someones feelings usually won't be of any help to them. For example telling Overweight people they are fine just the way they are. Well they aren't fine just the way they are. Obesity is the leading cause of death and people are naturally attracted to healthy fit bodies. So lying to them helps them in no way and leads them down the wrong path. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:44:34 AM | ^^^Why sugar coat an unpleasant truth? Tact and discretion are offline activities.  | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:57:07 AM | Off topic: Thank you. Compliments to you also.
Anyway my final piece of advice to the original poster is to learn by the special occult forces of intuition to detect more quickly when the significant other is wavering in their opinions of you (women are clever at conceiling their doubts) and find someone you're most suited to and whom you won't ever have to change, either to like you more or in other respects (larger breasts, flat tummy, less shrieking in the bedroom). | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 11:12:37 AM | | Lets give the unknown lady a break; she might even know she put her foot in her mouth when she said it, but even if that's not the case, we don't know who she was dating either. We all know real, true losers that aren't good enough for anyone we care about. Lets see; criminals, drug addicts, compulsive liars, pick your own category. All of those could easily be someone who's 'not good enough for me' without further description. Now, I wouldn't go and say openly that someone isn't good enough for me, but that might be exactly how I feel at the moment if someone asked, and if it slipped out, well, sometimes blatantly honest is a good way to express yourself. To the original poster, if you were really bothered about it, why didn't you ask her to elaborate? Maybe there was something she could have told you, or maybe it was something private and personal that she didn't feel she could share about the guy. Either way, it's not good to make assumptions about someone if they are right in front of you and you can find out the truth. Me? I'll say right now that the real life lady seriel killer that Charlize Theron played in 'Monster', Aileen Wuornos, wasn't good enough for me. Wait, let me correct that. She wasn't good enough for anyone. Same goes for all the other nut-case seriel killers. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 2:07:26 PM | | Thanks for the input, POFers. Actually my friend has a lot going for her (looks, intelligence, a sarcastic sense of humor), but she has suprisingly little male attention. The sheer arrogance of her statement just bugged me, and I do find it a little offensive that she can judge another human being to be less than her somehow. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 2:24:39 PM | "Not good enough for me" is only a problem if you actually believe it. Other people can't
make you feel small unless you do it for them.
And, it's a good thing people like different things. If we didn't, we'd all try to look like, and behave in, a certain way. Not too many people would have sex and reproduce if we all liked the same thing.
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RJB888
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Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 42 | |
| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 2:28:08 PM | OP:
The only people I think are not good enough for me are:
1 rapists
2 child molesters
3 serial killers
4 drug users / alcholics (current only, not reformed for many years) Most of us have tried it.
5 criminals
6 prositutes
Otherwise I would consider myself as "different" than them, view points, education, ghetto talk, interests, etc. Your friend was rude, even if she is a nice lady otherwise.
I would never say "I'm better than you" to a person. We just walk different paths that will never meet. And hope that maybe a friendship is possible. Can never have too many friends.
Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!! | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 2:33:49 PM | | The man my friend was referring to seemed like a nice guy, but I don't really know him first-hand. But my first impression of him seemed good. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/4/2007 2:46:50 PM | | Saying someone is not good enough for you does not mean that they have some physical flaw that you can't look past in all cases. Most the time it's because the person treated you with disrespect, wouldn't open doors for you, called there ex a whore all the time, was rude to a waitress etc. Anyone who does these things is nt good enough for me, I have enough self respect that I don't think that I am perfectly suited for ***holes, thus making them not good enough for me. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/5/2007 2:07:34 PM |
TO RJB888
Yeah, good answer. In that case then, not "good" enough for me means the other person
isn't morally responsible. All of what you wrote concerns people who have a history of comitting crimes. 
Otherwise, saying someone is not good enough for me presumes the other person is
inferior -- you are then saying you are better than them. "Whaddya think you're betta than me!" | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/5/2007 2:46:10 PM | When I hear some utter "he/she is not good enough for me", a few things come to mind:
1. someone of limited scope of life
2. someone with low self esteem
3. someone self-centered
4. someone superficial
Limited scope of life in the sense that he/she is probably only happy within their coccooned environment. Outside of it, anything not familiar or different to them makes them uncomfortable. Think of a typical bigot.
Low self esteem in the sense that this person often needs to put others down to make them feel good about themselves.
Self-centered in the sense that they feel the world revolves around them, they have special priviledges. Similar to 1.
Superficial in the sense that seem to usually only scratch at the surface of WHAT somebody is, they couldn't really care any less about WHO somebody is, WHAT they are is more important.
it's just words. what's the big deal?
The big deal is that often others judge us by the words we choose to express ourselves. That's the big deal.
Now of course we all go on dates and don't want a 2nd date, or we want to break up with some who we have dated. When discussing why I wasn't dating someone anymore with a friend, acquaintance, or colleague, I would NEVER say "well she just wasn't good enough for me". And that's not because of low self-esteem, which isn't true, it's because I don't look at life ala 1-4 above. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/5/2007 3:29:45 PM | I want someone who is "good enough" for me. or "it or they were not good enough"
how does that statement sound when you turn it around for something you would say instead of just something someone else said?
It sounds a bit different coming from yourself.
good enough.. as in willing to settle for someone? would you want to just settle for something or someone, or do you have the guts to get what u truely want?
so I guess she could have said, "he was not right for me" instead of sounding like such a ****. but sometimes u have to be a **** in life to get what u want.
Im sure there were many ways this couple probably wouldnt have gotten along. as were not all meant to be with each other. and she at least realized it soon enough before they had a year relationship and completely changed each others lives for one another.........
by saying "hes not good enough" instead of listing all the things wrong with him, is a nicer way of putting it. Anyways there are some things better left unsaid.
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RJB888
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Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 48 | |
| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:22:09 PM | Tallguy.
There is a a world between being "better" than someone, than being "different" than someone.
I respect their opinions on religion, politics, interests, morals that are for them, etc. I may have a "different" view point on those issues which wouldn't make a good match for me. By no means does that make me better than them. Just different. I may really like and respect the person as a friend, but not as a relationship partner.
Just because people think different in what they want in a relationship, doesn't equal better than.
And I still stand firm on my list of people that I would feel I am better than. I wouldn't pursue a relationship with Charles Mason because I am better than he is. Any more than you would pursue a relationship with Andrea Yates, because you are better than her.
Oh I checked your profile, didn't you mention something about if "your looking for someone "different" to contact you." Not knocking your profile, it's good, I personally like the part about being in love with yourself, thought it was funny. | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:27:58 PM |
The man my friend was referring to seemed like a nice guy, but I don't really know him first-hand. But my first impression of him seemed good.
Just because someone seems nice, upon first meeting or even a casual social encounter doesn't necessarily make it true. I wouldn't put much interest into something that really doesn't effect/affect me. Let her say what she wants ~ it always comes back around. JMO  | |
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| Not good enough for me
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:33:12 PM | Maybe she just didn't really want to discuss the details with you?
Or maybe he really just wasn't good enough for her? Sometimes a cigar is a cigar. | |
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