| I would like advice on something please.....
Posted: 3/5/2008 1:51:14 PM | So whats wrong with having another forum on this topic. Mabye the last one was to long.
Sheesh, whats up with all the self appointed Forum police who posts to slam the entire forum. Don't you have something better to do.
To the OP:
He wanted to be able to play and didn't want you to. He didn't mind you thinking that he could be with other women, but couldn't handle you doing the same.
Either way, its just a big bucket of drama. Cut your losses and pick a guy that will give as much as you do.
Good Luck
 | |
|
| One year old
Posted: 3/5/2008 1:52:51 PM | | Haha well someone resurrected this one from the archives. | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:56:47 AM | | Well it sounded like you two spent a lot of time together and women are different than men. We are very emotional and when two people share intimacy together women tend to get attached. You should have been upfront and told her about this other woman. It sounds like to a certain extent you were leading her on. You should have laid ground rules up front. You can't really expect someone not to be mad when you really were hiding something from her that was so intimate and personal. That's just my opinion. You were not really honest with her. | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:21:02 AM | Yah, woman are screwy about these things.
I am really confused about this lady I'm seeing. In the first place, she's 49 and was married before for 30 years but she's been divorced for about 2 years. I'm 51, married for 17 years, now divorced for 5. She moved and lives almost 100 miles away but still I usually se her at least once a week which is difficult with the rising cost of gas. We still talk everyday by telephone. We had discussed seeing each other exclusively before she moved and agreed we would but she still visits her friends and old boyfriend who she lived with every few months who lives about 1000 miles away.
I really enjoy spending time with her but I've been stuck in the "nice guy" stage for the past six months, although I hope to get out of that soon. Anyway, she wants me to remain exclusive to her. Why, I don't know. What should I do? This exclusive shit is hard to do! | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:42:14 PM |
This exclusive shit is hard to do!
Okay first I am going to forgive you for the stereotypical "screwy woman" comment! LOL
Dating someone exclusively is not difficult if it is what you both want and are capable of making the committment. I think most of us single people like the idea and having that one special someone to watch tv and eat popcorn in bed with. The problem comes when one person isn't quite there yet, or in some cases as in yours, distance.
I date a guy who lives two hours away and he has only been divorced for four months. When we first started dating it was amazing, still is but I had to realize a few things in order for this relationship to work. One, I can't do long distance exclusive. When I am to that point in a relationship I want them to be more accessible than every other weekend. The other thing that I had to respect is that he is not ready to get serious again so quickly after a 14 year marriage. I would advise any friend not to do that, so why would I expect him to? I know that he dates others, as do I and we often laugh about "dates gone bad"! There is something very special between us but we both know that now is not the time to attempt to take it to the next level.
This "nice guy" stage you refer to sounds to me like you are not ready to be exclusive either, so probably the best thing you can do is tell her the truth and be prepared for her to end the relationship. Honestly though honey it sounds to me like you kind of need it to be over anyway. | |
|
| |
mac390
|
Joined: 4/22/2008
Msg: 82 | |
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 5/25/2008 4:48:15 PM | | hmmmm sounds like she has moved the goalposts which is not fair !!!it has to be established whether or nor your a couple!!! but having said that 3 years it is a long time to be casually dating dunno might be wrong there!!!! | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 5/26/2008 6:23:37 AM | Maybe you should both sit down and have a discussion...
'How Serious ARE we .. towards each other...??'
'_Could_ we be 'Mutually Exclusive' and Happy..??'
'How often are we comfortable with saying 'I Love You!'..??'
These .. and More questions .. to be answered .. on next weeks show .. !!
 All the Best ! | |
|
| I would like advice on something please.....
Posted: 6/6/2008 11:58:01 PM | | Ok. I would love to have a man in my life that wanted a "exclusive" relationship. She wants her cake and eat it too. Sorry, it doesn't work that way. Dump her and move on.... | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 6/7/2008 12:28:36 AM | You have a problem with someone you like and it is not unusual for a person to say one thing and believe or hope for another.
Remind her, without being recriminating. what she said and talk it out.
What does she really want? | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:28:25 PM |
She is upset and said i cheated on her but never since the conversation posted above did she ever say we were dating exclusively. So my question is did i do anything wrong and how should i handle this situation
Considering the conversation you described, she has absolutely no right to be upset. Come to think of it, what was she doing looking through your cell phone? It's time to have a serious talk with this woman. Sounds to me like she's stringing you along BIG time. It may be time to cut your losses and move on. | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:38:14 PM | well...imo that is the problem with these so-called "modern" relationships... people who blur the boundries between friendship and intimate relationships are just making things more complicated. it just doesn't work, and it always seem to end up being just a bunch of drama. i've seen too many friends try to do this stuff, and it just never works out. in the end noone ends up being happy.
usually the guy wants the sexual relationship without anything else and the girl just goes along unhappily pretending that it is okay. women don't really want this sort of relationship... most women (most...i said most!) want a relationship... in truth, when a guy says he wants a friends with benefits situation, it really just means he is just waiting till someone better comes along, but he wants to "get some" in the meantime...
just ask yourself...are you happy with this sort of arrangement? because it just sounds like unneccesary drama to me...
lar | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:50:25 AM |
(onreone) Ok Ive been "dating" a woman for about 3 years off and on. We have always been friends nad are real close. A few months ag we had a conversation that went like this:
ME: So tell me where we stand
HER:We are friends that hang out and and have fun and occasionally have sex
ME: So we arent exclusive??
HER: No
ME: So its ok for me to see other people if i choose? And you wouldnt have a problem with that?
HER: Thats ok with me
So here comes the confusing part...we have been spending alot of time together. We spent Christmas and New Years together...something we hadnt done in the last 3 years. Then on on New years day she decides to look at my cell phone and saw some text messages between me and another woman....some were sexual and some were not. She is upset and said i cheated on her but never since the conversation posted above did she ever say we were dating exclusively. So my question is did i do anything wrong and how should i handle this situation
No court of law would find you guilty of any transgression.
Problem is, you're not in a court of law; you're dealing with a person's emotions. She's not a "bad" person, and neither are you; it just sounds like youse two aren't compatible.
Arlo | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:37:39 AM | A test of faith and trust..there was a fork in the road and you took the high road.
Now she see's your chat friends as competition..sit her down and let her know how you feel about her. | |
|
vosche
|
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 90 | |
| I would like advice on something please.....
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:18:46 PM | | its a power play or she's another person that has no clue what she wants. sounds to me like whatever was there in the beginning is long gone and now its just a case of doing what you already know you should do so you can both find someone that wants you completely with undivided attention...why do people come to the forums looking for permission to do anything | |
|
| |
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:46:08 PM | | Does she realize that she hasn't had that conversation with you? See, this is why people need to learn how to talk. You should set her down and have a nice long talk with her. | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 7/30/2008 9:49:11 AM | maybe know that she saw your talking to other women she found she does care for you more than she was thinking maybe you need to ask her what up and see if you might want more than just friends with benifits  | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 9/1/2008 7:58:13 AM | you did nothing wrong.
you asked your statis and she said and basically said you do not have one.
you asked about other people and she stated she didn't care.
i bet my life she was others time to time when she wasn't with you. and seeing you had someone interested in you by the phone texts she got jealous.
get rid of her or tell her its exclusive.
people who so-called want their cake and eat it too are people you do not want to be with anyway. there will always be a catch 22 and you will always get in trouble. you will lose 9 out of 10 times with people like that.
if they do and you can't do what they themselves do, you are being played/ used/ treated like sh*t.
you either are in a relationship together, or you are not. no inbetweens, or when its good for one. that isn't a relationship at all, thats just BS.
if you have the friends with benefits, and you both agree or don't problems with it, then it doesnt matter and you wouldnt be asking.
think OP, she wants it all her way, you did nothing wrong from what you said in your thread. | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:04:05 AM | Supposing the conversation posted above was within a certain time frame and in close proximity of the whole accusation of cheating.... your in the clear.
However some people have a double standard, and enjoy having a doormat to wipe their feet on. I'm not saying it's the case here.. however due to lack of information that's the impression rendered | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:20:06 AM | | You should make it clear to each other.... you are F*U*C*K Buddies. Read the book "He's Not That Into You", so you can gain clarity on the situation you find yourself. | |
|
| Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 11/10/2008 12:18:08 PM | | Ok First of all she should not be looking at your phone.... You guy's are not exclusive so that should be off limits. Sounds like you guy's are a Friends with Benefits.... Well I see how old this is let me know how this all worked out... | |
|
| |
| I would like advice on something please.....
Posted: 11/20/2008 4:54:29 PM | IMHO you aren't exclusive with someone til you both agree to it.
But also, 3 years is WAY too long to be non-exclusive with someone.
Move up, or give it up. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
