| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 1/4/2007 5:00:18 PM | If sex were a sport...... then I'm an Olympic gold medalist!!!! 
Really I don't give a crap what people do sexually in their life - it's not directly affecting me so why would I get myself in a knot over it. If it's not for you who the hel! cares - it's not changing your life in any way!!!!! Don't judge!!!
OOOOOO toppin'!!!! | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 1/4/2007 5:04:53 PM | Oh no Leeanne..not topping from the bottom LOLOLOL...
Anyway, to each his or her own.. "we" as in an ex and I ..have been to the club he has referred to...and let's not all pass judgement..one can go to that club..and not necessarily participate...
GEB
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 1/7/2007 2:04:47 PM | | It felt right at one point of my life but when I graduated from elementary school I sort of left my swinging years behind me. | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 1/8/2007 5:15:46 AM | | Been there, done that and would do it again with the right partner. I was in a relationship with a man who thought he could but as it turned out it wasn't for him. I was a swinger before he was. He and I had rules that we stuck by. Two of our rules were #1 stay together, play together and #2 if at any point one of us didn't want to participate in this life style anymore it would be discussed. So that's exactly what we did, we discussed it and decided that we would both stop. | |
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Wylld
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Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 56 | |
| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 1/8/2007 7:55:41 AM | Yes rules are important, and those two are good rules. Tried it to disasterous ends, the problem was she didn't want to stop when things got out of hand. Swinging can be nice, but both sides must agree to the rules and stick to them, and it shouldn't be the focus of your relationship.
As for those of you giving opinions against it, and those who have railed against those who gave opinions against it. Some of you need to get off your soap box, some comments seemed to be sincere comments, while others meant to rip into those on opposing sides of the discussion. Really in the end isn't it a matter of preference. You can be against swinging without condemning every swinger, and you can be for swinging without preaching that its wonderful and anyone opposed must be a puranical bible thumper. Though that being said I think for the most part the comments have been fairly balanced and fair and not much ranting.
OP, be careful with the lifestyle, it is fun and exciting, but dangerous to relationships sometimes. Make sure your both clear on your personal rules, make sure you both want it, and make sure that if either of you feel uncomfortable you can take a step back. Some people become so engrossed in the lifestyle that they forget about why they were doing it in the first place. | |
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| Live and let live, why not except those that are different from us..
Posted: 1/9/2007 12:41:32 PM | Well it would seem that many people here are very good at judging others based on their own interpretations of moral standards? The part that I don’t understand is that many of those that put down others that are open minded are the truly lying to themselves! Many people out there would love to live out their fantasies whatever they may be given the right circumstances yet they like to pretend they are something there are not “holier then thou”....
Now those that read this little blog don’t feel that I’m taking shots at you personalty, that is not what I’m saying it is just many people that claim to be into this type of activity are nothing more then talkers? Yes I have run into those on this site that are just fakes and nothing more then that, yet I have also run into very nice honest, genuine and real couples that are here to meet those that are honest with others and more importantly honest with themselves...
No_ Disappointments
Please do not post commentary regarding contacting you - your profile and people search are used for that function - the forums are for discussion purposes only - Ensure you read the rules, they're posted at the top of each forum.
Contact statements edited out
Moderator | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 1/9/2007 12:58:22 PM | Sex is sex, love is love. Each alone is good but if you can get them together, it is wonderful. As for the swinging, it is nice to see that they have a secure, jealousy-free relationship that allows them to indulge in that. If they have good, open communication and neither of them has any problems with the swinging, then i can see a relationship that will last a long, long time. Be honest, open and truthful with each other and all will be great. It works for us.
bryan | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 1/9/2007 2:41:26 PM | For Gawd's sake Fantasys, don't try to post anything on S & M clubs. i tried it earlier today, without even using the term "S & M" (I used D/s instead) and got jumped on and deleted before it even got started. Seems like there are a lot of moral judges out there looking out for us. Don't take a chance on offending anyone, take it to the "Sex and Dating" section (where the same people read and post) but it is OK there.
bryan | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 2/6/2007 5:23:42 PM | | i think whatever a guy and his girlfriend wanna do is up to them. i personally wouldnt.... but for ppl who are married i think its wrong. when u get married ur in a committed relationship...two ppl. thats it!! no outsiders...but thats just me~ | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 4/3/2007 8:34:12 PM | My partner and I both are exploring the swinging option. We are very much in love, extremely confident in our relationship and love our sex lives together (both of us are 40). We have recently started with going to a few stripbars and sharing a lap dance, which was extremely provocative. Next I (the female) suggested a threesome. I asked a female friend if she wanted to partake. Wasn't really sure how I would feel, but after she arrived, we engaged in the threesome and had the time of our lives. Lots of fun. We have sinced made a few rules that both of us can live with. We have agreed to oral sex with others, voyerism, and touching but no penetration thus far (we may revisit this rule) and no kissing on the lips. For some reason, that part was too much for me.
Our quest now is to find like minded individuals (we are both professionals who look younger than we are and by day have a very normal life but we are definitely sexually charged with this idea) who would be interested in exploring a threesome again. Not sure about full swinging/swapping yet. We are also exploring the idea of going to a vacation resort that is adult only and doesn't mind sexual exploration.
We have heard about the Wicked Club in TO, but are also looking for some fun in eastern ontario. Any ideas anyone? Discretion is paramount.!!!!!
Before anyone judges us, and its okay if you do. Although I caution everyone to judge not until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes. I would love to hear from people who have had both positive and negative experiences with threesomes and swinging. Also, for those who think that as a woman I must be out of my mind, I think you should read the book called "The secret lives of wives". Its fabulous and will show you that there are many ordinary wives out there who think like I do. | |
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viva_
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Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 62 | |
| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 4/3/2007 9:07:58 PM | Dear MM1
Its sounds great to have such beautiful relationship you have. You guys are really extremely mature in your relationship and in to each other.
Good for you guys, doesn’t work for me, yet I admire ppl like you.
Really go girl, rock the world every one deserve it the way he likes it and the way he feels comfortable.
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 8/30/2007 5:45:07 PM | I loved watching my now exgirlfriend blindfolded and then introducing her to a young college stud and listening to her moan with anticipation as she had no clue who she was playing with. Swinging or sharing your other half can be very erotic and spicey in a relationship and done once in a while won,t wreck a relationship. It was cool and wish I could find another girlfriend who is strong and open minded. cheers  | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 9/5/2008 4:24:40 PM | | Hello everyone'' well i don't share my toys.....if i sleep with someone, there body only has my lips, all over it... so i'm against it...lol | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 9/5/2008 6:11:00 PM | Well, My G/F was a swinger before we met...
Now she's depressed, feels used and abused...
Has had a few STD's she got while swinging...
Her kids found out and don't respect her...
Her husband left her for a woman he met swinging...
And Oh yeah, he cheated on her even while swinging...
At the time she thought it was ok...
Later she realised all she was to her husband was that she was a ticket to trade for another guy's wife or G/F...
She grew up and got out of it...
What you do now in your life, may have long term consequences down the road...
As for the guys who favour swinging, and want to see their wife/girlfriend being with other guys... Hey, have you ever looked up 'cuckold'??
It's a fetish particularly prevalent with submissive males... | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 9/6/2008 8:13:29 PM | Unfounded and unexamined considerations aside, Swinging might improve your marriage. http://www.ejhs.org/volume3/swing/body.htm
Swingers also tend to reject traditional sex roles in their relationships to a greater extent than the general population. As shown in Table 8a., swingers are less likely to agree that the man should be the "achiever" and the wife should be at home.
The results, then, suggest that swingers in the sample are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going segment of the population reported in earlier studies. They are, however, more "middle-of-the-road" politically than other studies have found and, at least when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage, may be less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the general population.
How happy are the marriages of swingers? Table 14 compares how swingers and the G.S.S. sample of married persons rated the happiness of their marriages. Significant differences were found between the two groups, with swingers showing higher levels of happiness than married couples in the general population.
Among swingers, is there a relationship between swinging and marital happiness? Two questions on the survey – one which asked about their relationships before swinging and the other about them after swinging – are cross-tabulated in Table 15. As the data shows, 62.6% of swingers found that swinging improved their marriages/relationships, 35.6% said their relationships stayed about the same, and only 1.7% said they became less happy. Even among those who said their marriages were "Very Happy" prior to swinging nearly half (49.7%) said they became happier. Among those with the most unhappy marriages 90.4% said their relationship became happier after swinging. It appears that, at least among the sample of swingers used in this research, swinging tends to improve the perceived quality of the couples' marriages regardless of how satisfying it was before swinging. | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 9/6/2008 8:50:12 PM | Like the other posters, I concur - to each his own.
Not for me though...........intimacy is not a spectator sport (in my opinion)
It's what works for you and your partner that counts.........that's all that matters. | |
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Lion47
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Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 68 | |
| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 9/7/2008 12:29:36 AM | | I have read so many post about swingers and it just cracks me up the mentality. But I have to ask and this is going to be very mean but the truth. Why does it seem SO many of the "swingers" on here are so butt ugly and HUGE????? You would have to put a gun to my head to have sex with these people let alone "swing" with them!! | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 9/7/2008 10:56:42 AM |
Significant differences were found between the two groups, with swingers showing higher levels of happiness than married couples in the general population.
I've read that study before. It has a huge flaw in it's assumptions.
One group that is totally absent from the study is people who WERE swingers and it destroyed the marriage. As a result, it's just a comparison of two forms of marriage. It could have as easily been a survey of those with swimming pools in the backyard being happier than those without....
People who are swinging AND happy are in themselves a unified group. They are still active and one would assume because they still are in the lifestyle and active both the marriage and the activity are good for them at the moment.
People who are not happy in the marriages outside of swinging are going to be unhappy whether or not swinging was a factor or not.
The people for whom swinging either ruined or at the very least did not improve the marriage are totally excluded from the study. Without those figures there's no way to ascertain the validity of whether "Swinging is good or bad for a Marriage".
Statistics can be made to show any result the compiler desires by biasing the sample group. | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 9/7/2008 10:59:02 AM | It was cool and wish I could find another girlfriend who is strong and open minded.
Funny thing is that I knew a lot of 'open minded' women when I was young...
As you get older you don't find too many women who are PROUD of that kind of a past....
You never meet an older woman who brags about being a slut when she was young.... | |
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| Thoughts on Swinging
Posted: 11/23/2008 3:23:47 AM | I couldn't agree more with your post. For those of us who can't just have sex with anyone.. but reserve ourselves to giving it all to the one we love.. I feel that Love is very tightly wound around sex. Sex is not everything..but it is for sure the most intimate experience at sharing and expressing one's love for someone else.
I know this mind set isn't everyone's and that's cool...each to their own.. it's just hard for me to disconnect between the two. | |
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