| Why is it so hard to lose our soul mate?
Posted: 1/25/2007 10:05:41 PM | So what happens when you find your "soul mate" and you think everything is all that you ever wanted. Then your "soul mate" decided that you aren't the one and drops you for someone else?
It happens to people everyday.
Life goes on as it always does. Bills still have to be paid, the car still needs new tires and the dog is still having accidents on the carpet. A person can do their grieving and move forward or they can sit around re-digesting the past to no success, because you can’t change yesterday.
I never forget where I’ve been, but I never, ever look back. | |
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| Why is it so hard to lose our soul mate?
Posted: 1/25/2007 10:10:27 PM |
It happens to people everyday.
That's always made me fell so much better.
dog is still having accidents on the carpet.
That's just one of the reasons I am a cat person. (Purring being another big one!)
I never forget where I’ve been, but I never ever look back
Hmm...somehow that just seems a wee bit contradictory to me. | |
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| Why is it so hard to lose our soul mate?
Posted: 1/25/2007 10:19:51 PM | Think about and you may see its not contradictory at all.
Theres a difference in the two.
I don't forget my past and try to learn from my mistakes, but after I make em, I move forward and don't wallow in the misery that mistakes can produce. If I have to change something in my life thats dragging me down, I just do it and I don't look back. But in the future I don't forget my past. | |
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| Why is it so hard to lose our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 12:40:11 AM |
then sit back and watch her piss and moan when it comes back to her
Wow I'm on a roll, been gone all day to come home and see that I've been ripped on in 2 different forums.
I need to run through all the forums I've posted in recently and see who else is attacking me.
Only got ripped on in 2 forums... must be my lucky day. | |
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| Why is it so hard to lose our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 1:32:36 AM | The paradox is that you have to be happy & comfortable being single before you can meet the a person that you'll have a healthy, happy, fun & mutually respectful relationship with.
As for "Soulmate". I don't personally believe in the concept. It seems to me to imply a person that will complete you, which puts you square in the middle of the dilemma mentioned above.
YOU have to be your soulmate. When you love yourself, then you'll feel deserving, and you'll finally meet the type of person you truly deserve.
Hope that doesn't sound too trite. It's easier said than done, but it is possible with dedication & work.
Much luck & love to you.
~Chris | |
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| Why is it so hard to lose our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 6:43:11 AM |
So what happens when you find your "soul mate" and you think everything is all that you ever wanted. Then your "soul mate" decided that you aren't the one and drops you for someone else?
I would say you need to learn to be more pragmatic and less romantic in your choice before the romantic feelings veil reality.
It is this very attitude, Eeek, that keeps many people from being able to find love.
They are already contemplating the demise of something they have not yet found.
I have never understood how looking at all facets of reality can be a bad thing. There is a big difference between contemplating the demise of a relationship and looking at possible roadblocks to it in the future.
Going into relationships on a strictly romantic whim accounts for a lot of relationship failures. But what the hay... if you can survive the roller-coaster ride they are the most thrilling. | |
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| Why is it so hard to lose our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 8:20:24 AM |
I have never understood how looking at all facets of reality can be a bad thing. There is a big difference between contemplating the demise of a relationship and looking at possible roadblocks to it in the future.
I agree with what you said. There should be PLENTY OF LOOKING at all facets of a relationship... acting on a whim is irresponsible.
What I meant was a more positive outlook is a healthier way to approach finding someone to love, rather than feeling like you're doomed or giving up on the hope. The "why bother it will only turn out bad" viewpoint. There is way too much of that.
These are people that "set themselves up for failure".
We tend to fulfill the vision of ourselves. Yes? | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:10:54 AM | Agreed, we do gravitate toward our own expectations. And I have also encountered the "gloom and doom" personalities that can discourage any interaction for fear of contamination of the soul. Things work best when balanced, as Sombient pointed out in another thread.
The hard part is finding that balance, and then using it to sift through the many varied personalities to find that one individual whose characteristics will mesh together with yours to create something stronger and more wonderful than the sum of the two.
OK that last line sounds too sappy but I've already spent way too much time here this morning so it isn't getting rewritten. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 3:19:55 PM | I agree with engine 51...I myself enjoy your comments throughout the forums here grneyed...
and those people are guilty of what you mentioned.... they attack to make themseleves feel better. You keep right on writting!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 4:27:41 PM | Thanks skshiells... in another forum some guy keeps ripping on me and then I came to this one and took what was said wrong... it was late and I was tired... and I had read some rude guys comment in another forum.
Honestly I think I took what Engine51 said personally and I shouldn't have. Sorry!
Some of the CA forums are really boring, usually when I start one it's not because I really want to know the answer, but to give other people something to talk about. Recently something I started was deleted... hehehe... gotta be more careful about "controversial" topics I guess. | |
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CTR916
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Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 113 | |
| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 4:50:39 PM | I canceled my soul mate search project due to insufficient evidence to support that theory.
Maybe, I just need more practice relating? | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 5:45:19 PM |
the fact that real men are unattractrive to most women...
Ok, I'll bite. What's your definition of a real man? I sure hope it doesn't involve wearing boots and funny hats while walking in used horse food. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 5:55:00 PM | | I believe the odds are not in your favor to match up with a human being to exactly meet your needs and vice-versa. It can happen but if you only wait for that person your whole life, will you have wasted a lot of time just waiting. Maybe we are not supposed to matched with a perfect match. If we meet someone who meets 8 out of 10 of our major critieria in a relationship, should they be turned away ! Or 7 out of 10 or 9 out of 10. We each somehow sense what would make us happy but there are no guarantees. Life is well of experience that we should drink from. The more experience we have with life, the more wise we are. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 6:17:44 PM | "Ok, I'll bite. What's your definition of a real man? I sure hope it doesn't involve wearing boots and funny hats while walking in used horse food."
Good one! No, it has nothing to do with clothes or where you walk. If you can treat a woman right... and put men who abuse women, in their place, you havea good shot at true man hood. Also, putting down another guy to try to impress a woman is pretty sad. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 6:42:09 PM |
What's your definition of a real man?
Do you think if someone started a thread with this title it would get deleted? It would be interesting to see what people definitions would be.
Go ahead Eeek and start it, since you seem to piss off the powers that be on a regular basis.  | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 8:31:16 PM |  Sometimes we look in the wrong places, do and say the wrong things. If our soul mate is really out there, we will fine that one so just be patient and it will happen, your soul mate is out there, either on line or some where else! Then things will just fall into place. Either way it will happen. Sometimes I feel we want to be in a hurry for things or push it to happen because we are too much in a hurry then what happens, poofffffff!!! So just enjoy life and smell the roses until then, this sure makes me feel better anyway to wait, but this is me and everyone has to feel the way they do about things, so just hang in there OK!!
GOOD LUCK! | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:27:05 PM | for me the reason is simple. I'm not like most folks .You might say I'm different . odd maybe.
You see , I'm Filipino , born and raised here in California . That don't sound too strange for most folks but I was not raised like most . I did not grow up in an environment that everyone would consider typical of California. I'm intelligent and can communicate in real American English.I will not give out too many details but I grew up in a very isolated area and loved the country life and old traditions . I joined the military for a few years and when I got back I did my best to live in the remote place that was home . There was hardly any work so I did the next best thing and moved to the Central Valley to work at a feed lot. loved the work and all but hated the boss so I moved my things back to the hills after 4 years . I drive old Chevys and play and listen to old country music and go to bluegrass festivals . Most of my friends now are either 60 and older or 18 and younger . I've lived in town now for a few years and
have had several relationships with women . They've been great ones but the the one thing that kept getting in the way was a lack of trust in me .I seem to find women who can't seem to tell me what I'm doing wrong but they want you to know that whatever it is , it's wrong.
another thing about me is that I don't wear sweats , shorts , t-shirts , sandals, sneakers,long hair, bald head, don't do drugs ,don't wear baggy pants, no tattoos, I'm not liberal, no ear rings, no piercings, not gay, I'm stubborn , and these are some of the things that I am aware of . I know there are many more but I don't want to bore you . Trust me , I don't have an inferiority complex, but you can see what could get in the way of most relationships . I'm sure that most of you out there can do better than me because you relate to the popular culture of today . So take heart , your soulmates are out there somewhere. Good luck. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/27/2007 2:45:34 AM | Everyone compairs to some far off "SOUL MATE" ----People have NO frame of reference - How would anyone know if they found him/her or not?
I want a HUMAN FEMALE to Mate with to help me repopulate the earth....
(I sound like an Alien from outta' SPACE!)
This was a joke for all the stuffy ones...
Kahuna- | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/27/2007 12:04:24 PM | | I'm single because I don't have too much time to look for someone. I'm always at work or at school (night time). So, eventually it will come to me. It alwasy does. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/27/2007 4:18:41 PM | Why is it so hard to find a "soul mate"? The reason it is so hard is that there is no such thing as a "soul mate". There is no perfect person out there. There are just lots of potential mates you can match up with and enjoy and you can build a relationship by working on it and accepting the reality that people are what they are. The "soul mate" is just an ideal, a quaint concept invented by Plato.
People who think there is some "soul mate" out there waiting for them delude themselves and doom themselves constant disappointment. Every person you meet can in fact be part of what you want in your life and it is a good idea to look for that and enjoy it and be responsive to it and just blow off the fantasy of the perfect "soul mate" which is somewhere out there in space with the elves and unicorns, just an amusing idea, not a reality. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/27/2007 4:52:37 PM | I actually did have a true soul mate... he worshipped the ground I walked on, always loved me no matter what, was always there when I laughed, cried and listened to all my complaints with the utmost understanding in his eyes... I took care of him, too -- in many ways, without the least bit of resentment, we never argued -- ever -- he shared my bed for many years and always brought a smile to my face...
Unfortunately he died in August... and he was the best damn-dog I ever had. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 1/27/2007 5:18:46 PM | Ha ha hah!  Good post, Janet. Unfortunately, my cat doesn't quite worship the ground I walk on, or listen to my complaints much, but he's not too bad. | |
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