| headphones, there are some serious upsides after all...
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:00:05 PM | permanent headphones
Maybe you do not even get the older adults humour... but we still think we are funny.
Well if that scenario should happen, you would end up with a great person to lavish tons of affection and attention on you. (But not too much--I doubt it will be way too much as in TOO MUCH --he was raised well too you know--
You will have a fun mother in-law this way. No big mystery... things may be looking up after all.
Avoiding any chance – (there are evil mother in laws out there, ya know)
I think I am done here.
You surly have had
enough of me.
it is hard making our minds sometimes...we do not want to make incorrect choices sometimes when we chill a bit we see clearer. (it is worth a try) I heard it works out for others. :)
--Bill
*´¨)
¸.· ¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
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| permanent headphones
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:16:49 PM |
he might drag you off to ... Vegas and in a weak moment ...will say YES --yes I will take thee...princess to take me... as thou 0O--way too young to marry--but here I go because I am a lover and simply cannot help my infactuated self... husband of yours...
I heard a rumor that technique works very well on his mother. Gives me an idea for another POF event... | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:23:58 PM | It's a mathematical improbability that you can find a "soulmate" among the billions of people in the world (or the number of people that you meet over your life time). What are the odds of pulling the gold marble out of a jar full of red marbles? I'm not being negative, pesimistic or bitter about it, so don't try to psycho analyze this. I just like to deal with logic and reality.
Stop looking for her and you'll find her when you least expect it. My best relationships have happened when I wasn't looking. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 8:20:07 AM | Swordfish sez:
Stop looking for her and you'll find her when you least expect it. My best relationships have happened when I wasn't looking.
.
... to which I say: Yup. Absolutely. You meet great people when you stop seeking and just get out and be visible. And lose the fallacy of a "soulmate" and the absurd notion that you really, really should be "paired off" or "hooked up" or married. When you give your love freely to many, many persons, you soon find that love comes back to you because you become an attractive loving person. Google on the song "Magic Penny" by Malvina Reynolds and you will get the idea. The more you give, the more you have. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 8:29:16 AM |
When you give your love freely to many, many persons, you soon find that love comes back to you because you become an attractive loving person.
I agree with this statement from the bottom of my heart... and I'm NOT talking about the "free-love" of the 60's ... so do not send me any more pictures of your wanky's.
Thank you. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:01:34 AM | Based on this profile description, I've only received one email from anyone and it was from a man. As for practical purposes, yes, the chances of me receiving an email based on my profile is one in thirteen million. But I don't care. If there was a lady out there who was both wise and brave, she would understand the meaning of what I wrote and respond. Until the rare occassion occurs when I come across a lady of courage and wisdom, there is a world of wine and song and stories to be told to keep anyone occupied.
Also, there are more plain, fat, and boring people in Heaven than there are athletic intellectuals on Earth.  | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 12:23:12 PM | grr i keep having problems with the forums... they let me post sometimes and then other times no... 
omg 6 foot 3? janet if you were closer I would for sure ask you to set us up.
I have a serious obsession with tall guys. The lead singer of one of my favorite bands is 6 foot 5 and it makes me giddy just thinking about it haha.
& billbutler thanks for all the compliments! I'm not sure I even know where to start! The age thing... I'm way more picky about criteria over the internet. In person I probably wouldn't think twice about dating someone 28. I think over the internet 20-26 just feels safer to me and I'm not sure why, but I'll definitely think about moving it up to 28. I'm not normally an internet dating kind of gal... I think I've watched too much "Too Catch a Predator" but once I lost a good portion of my free time and starting meeting anti-social, uptight losers at my university I decided I didn't have anything to lose and signed up here.
Wow and thank you for complimenting my intelligence. It's finals week and I need those compliments more than anything right now! My brain is mush and full of organic chemistry and physics.
On a side note have you worked w IQ before? I took a test as a child and then again in a psych class in high school so I've heard those percentiles over and over again.
Emotionally mature... probably I'm not sure. My mom has a friend who's into astrology and he says that aquarians are detached and unemotional. While that's not me 100% of the time, I'm definitely not overly emotional at all... the only thing that can bring out my unreasonable emotional side is school when I'm frustrated and scared about grades (which could very well be this coming Wednesday). I'm a pretty logical thinker overall.
Oh god... don't worry I'm not looking to get married any time soon. At the earliest I'd consider marriage after medical school (@ 26 or 27) but probably even later
and lastly... I definitely think that a 35 year old can keep up with me. I'm not a hard partier at all. What I meant was that I just turned 21 and I'm just getting into the bar hopping, party scene (though only on weekends) while a 35 year old is most likely over it and doesn't want to spend every weekend all weekend in a smoke filled bar or at a crowded club. Also, I'm a music junkie. I spent my highschool attending 2 or 3 concerts a weekend... now that I don't have the time I can only go about once a month. This spring break, though, I'm going to two concerts in a row... harsh lights, drunken people, bodies suffocating you in the pit, speakers amplifying your heart rate, arrogant rock stars... i love it haha though on paper it doesn't sound so cute... but as I get older I want it less and less... so long story short a 30 (+) year old has spent his 20s partying and is probably over the scene that I'm just entering. That could very well be a major generalization... but who knows.
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 3:12:23 PM |
My brain is mush and full of organic chemistry and physics.
Organic is mostly just naming molecules. For physics make sure you remember F=MA.
At the earliest I'd consider marriage after medical school (@ 26 or 27) but probably even later
Don't forget that internet thing right after school. You'll have zero time for anything (including sleep) during that phase of your training. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 3:39:34 PM | | well for one, most who say they cant find anything good, are just rejecting everyone they THINK isnt good enough. if you give the people who message you a chance, you may just find what youve been missing out on. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 3:42:16 PM | I'm single because its hard for me to say no to the person I'm in a relationship with and somehow that always ends up hurting me more than them, because I'm giving out 150% and getting back less than half. So that's why I'm single. *sigh* | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 3:52:57 PM | eeek.... I'm slightly insulted...
Organic chemistry is definitely NOT naming molecules. You learn how to name maybe the first lecture then the next 30 weeks is reactions and mechanisms... I wouldn't have to study at all if it were just naming molecules... puh-lease!
& again... F=MA is maybe the first week or so of highschool physics and has nothing to do with magnetism, capacitors or electric fields... so that equation hasn't helped me much in my college physics classes.
The internet thing? wha?
I know during residency I won't sleep much... but I said I'd wait to get married at least after med school because I'll have to move for medschool and again for my residency... | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 3:54:55 PM | [well for one, most who say they cant find anything good, are just rejecting everyone they THINK isnt good enough. if you give the people who message you a chance, you may just find what youve been missing out on.]
who are you talking to cali-firefighter? | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 3:57:02 PM | I know this is a dating site and all but....aren't soulmates the least bit overrated? Maybe I shouldn't have posed that as a question. Similar to money almost, who doesn't want to be rich right?
I could care less about being wild rich, just make me comfortable and I'll deal with it. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 4:12:37 PM |
eeek.... I'm slightly insulted...
Don't be. I wasn't really serious.
Organic chemistry is definitely NOT naming molecules. You learn how to name maybe the first lecture then the next 30 weeks is reactions and mechanisms... I wouldn't have to study at all if it were just naming molecules... puh-lease!
I know. I've tutored organic chem students.
& again... F=MA is maybe the first week or so of highschool physics and has nothing to do with magnetism, capacitors or electric fields... so that equation hasn't helped me much in my college physics classes.
The very first college physics class I took was a simple sounding one called Electricity and Magnetism (I have no idea who put me in that class). It turned out "simple" involved second order partial differential equations and vector calculus (div, grad, curl and all that). I can still remember stitting under a tree trying to figure it all out and suddenly have a light come on. There were some pissed off seniors after the next mid-term.
The internet thing? wha?
Intern. Damn figures. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 4:17:42 PM | | hahaha.... sry. I can usually tell when someone's joking... but it's finals week... so if anyone even insinuates that what I'm killing myself to study is easy... I might cry hahahahah | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 5:15:36 PM | I think a lot of the times we don't really know ourselves well enough to recognize when a soul mate has entered our lives...it's sorta like Maslow's theory of needs:
1 - Physiological needs are biological needs, such as the need for air, food, and water.
2 - Safety and security, including the need for order, limits, and protection.
3 - Social interaction and approval.
4 - Esteem needs, including the need for the respect of and recognition by others, and the need for self-respect.
5 - Self-actualization - the need of a human being to make the most of his or her abilities by growing and learning.
most people never reach that 5th state. i believe that is analagous to finding a soul-mate.
Maslow determined that people work to use their skills and add value to the team. in a relationship, both must contribute - so a team, therefore, is bigger than one person. A couple must learn to add value to the team - not an easy task. and sadly, 'teams' in America today have hit an all time low (~50% divorce rate)...
/Baba Out/ | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 7:58:43 PM | If that is so true then why are you here ? - Or are you here - Just in case ? ? or is it insurance ?
I have found and I also fault myself with the same 'ultimate' albeit selfish and egotistic standards as do - too many others on these ‘looking’ sites.
For some reason we - (both men and women) - are looking for that drop dead gorgeous (as in my 'male' case) voluptuous dream with the body to die for, that is a great cook, has an open mind as far as - 'Being out with guys' - Golf (for me) 24/7 TV sports, a Muscle 4 X 4, and a Power Boat – gift from her ! ! , and she can't wait to drag me off to the bedroom - (during commercials - of course!) and is totally content with that ! ! ? ?
Ain't gonna happen ! - That one is taken. Or there just AIN'T no such thing !
I am a senior and speaking for myself (been there done that) - and now I 'grudgingly' have to realize that what I find (eventually) will be someone that is in my 'league' – and that - is going to be someone that is not a young hottie but a mature woman that is looking for a mature man that has grown up enough to realize that what I have to offer is on a par with what they 'should' be looking for and vise versa.
It's not going to be easy and if I do find one that ‘catches my eye’ - sure enough - she has other (aka the above - goals) Sadly and eventually she too must, but probably does not realize – yet - this is a grown up world we live in - leave the fantasy world, grow up and realize this is a two way street – or it is a lose – lose situation ! ! - - - - Until YOU change ! !
What do YOU have to offer ? ? NOT what is in it for YOU !
And when you do - You can have it ALL ! - - Happiness is NOT a Yacht – It’s Belonging ! !
Unless we get our heads screwed on straight and take a good look at ourselves and what we (both) have to offer and/or contribute - to a relationship - instead of what's in it for ME ! It will be another long time of waiting and nothing happening - - Until WE change OUR ATTITUDE ! ! !
Riches buy only comfort – Happiness and Belonging is THE priceless gift to each other !
Wake up! – Smell the Roses ! ! ! Time waits for no one – no one ! !
Good Luck
The Phantom in Tustin, CA | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 8:43:00 PM | Here is a simple answer to the question...because there are six billion people in the world, and most of us don't venture out much further than 100 miles from where we live. The odds of meeting that one person makes the lottery look like a coin flip.
The bright side to this is that you don't need a soulmate to actually be in a once in a lifetime, very profound and fulfilling relationship. If you BOTH find someone that you can communicate with, share passion with, respect, agree to disagree with, and place ahead of yourself...you don't need the 'soul mate' to be happy in a marriage or other relationship. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:03:18 PM | permanent headphones
billbutler thanks for all the compliments!
I like to think –"if you have something good to say, say it!"
You are welcome
...but as I get older I want it less and less... so long story short a 30 (+) year old has spent his 20s partying and is probably over the scene that I'm just entering.
20s people tend to make the drinking and social recreational drug use , etc.THE primary component of going out and listening to bands play-that aspect of it was appealing to me as well, yet going out to see bands play- was the major appeal—and still is. The desire to get up and be out on the town never left as it is music is a passion in my life.
For some the music is simply "background”...The excessive drinking and recreational drug use eventually leaves most of us .If the partying was the main appeal—then, yes, you do stop participating in that of course –no reason.
Many people at the end of or emerging out of their 20s typically, if they have not done so yet begin get to married and start families. They cease going out to the extent as they did when they were younger.
Now they have taken a direction, which is not really conducive: to the constant going out to see bands play. Parties, dining out, frequent travel all becomes an exception rather than the rule. This is a choice based on their desire have kids –and a choice many like to make.
It is not a choice I made myself, because it was not a desire for me. If raising a family had been a burning desire, I would have made sacrifice and it would have been ok since it was my choice...My passions were and are music, travel, art, music, etc—this is not to say I traded one lifestyle over the other. The other held no appeal.
Most in my age group who took the family lifestyle may view my lifestyle as immature in that “you’d think he’d have grown out of that by now” –Yet most of those correlate going out to concerts on a very frequent basis with the debauchery and hedonism of their youth. They have “left it behind” –some even add, “Because I am grown up and responsible.” –those statements annoy me. This is not accurate, as it has more to do with their own direction chose.
Most in your age group view, his or her parents as “old”, or “older” –so someone in your parent’s age bracket are viewed as “parental” –or at least a perception is the age equates to someone not quite as fun.
— Going out and partying is something that they no longer do on a regular basis—this maybe translates into age “x” does this and age “x” does that. This may be accurate—yet for some who did not go through our thirties and forties raising children instead pursued our own interests becoming extremely proficient in whatever activity associated with that interest. –therefore, grasshopper ... “the scene that you are just entering.” will also be populated with some a bit older—who are quite adept. We have years of experience. When we do something we do it right and have the more fun because we know how.
— This is the appeal I think for some “younger” (28-32) women dating older men. Usually women in this age group who date someone 45 are much more advanced in every area of their lives, hold advanced degrees, and frankly, people their age bore them. It may be hard for you to fathom, but you very well could find yourself at 30 dating a 44 year old because he is having difficulty finding a woman who is as much fun— your appeal a more worldly-wise accomplice.
On a side note, have you worked w IQ before? I took a test as a child and then again in a psych class in high school so I've heard those percentiles over and over again.
With the exception of fifth grade, I attended public schools. The private school I attended in the fifth grade was a great experience— where I took a series of tests measuring intelligence quotient (IQ) — I have taken a just a few during my life, too –IQ is constant. as it has nothing to do with what you know, but measures logical reasoning. I know what my IQ is. I have some, which are available online. I did them out of curiosity to test their accuracy rather than test my IQ score. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:07:14 PM | | the reason is because everybody is affraid to meet anyone from the internet dating, they just use the computer to show off what they really are not ! so if they were to meet they would have to live up to the bull crap they write down about them selves, its only text dreams of what they hope to be, i have nothing to hide and what i say of me is true and if there is any woman that not physicho or full of them selves wants to find out im all for it , and thats how it starts if you want a soul mate at least give yourself a chance and meet some of the people that give you the oppertunity to help you find that soul mate, thats the main reason online dating doesnt work its due to no one wants to ever meet, its all crap and a waste of time, im new to computers and date sites and if i would have known it was this fantasy land of lie and crap i would have never bought a computer , and that was my main reason is to find a good honest woman, and they say ya its safe and bla bla bla.... hahaha of coarse its safe cause NO ONE EVER WANTS TO MEET.......i was married for 18 years the only reason im single is my wife passed in 2005 and i didnt know where to find a woman that is honest kind and wants a good man , i never thought i would ever have to look cause i was planning to grow old with my wife, and here i am on the freakin computer wasting my time with all these fantasy want to be's, you will never find a soul mate if you dont give your self the chance, it has to start somewhere??????????? | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:13:33 PM |
the reason is because everybody is affraid to meet anyone from the internet dating
Really? I've found it quite enjoyable.
they just use the computer to show off what they really are not !
Ok, if I am doing that, what am I not? You tell me because I sure don't know.
NO ONE EVER WANTS TO MEET.
Maybe you should rethink having that pubic hair picture on your profile. Drunk guy flashing his pubes isn't going to help with getting someone to meet up with you. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find our soul mate?
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:38:20 PM | I don't really believe, or buy into the whole "soul-mate" thing. To me it suggests that we as individuals are not, or do not have the capacity to be "whole", in and of ourselves. I do however believe that certain people are better suited for each other, and those are the people that generally end up together. If everyone was so right on about finding their "soul-mate", then why is the divorce rate so high?
Finding a person who compliments your personality, doesn't necessarily mean that you are a good match, just that you're more likely to succeed in making a relationship work, and we all know they are a LOT of work sometimes. | |
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