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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/6/2007 7:00:26 PM | | this is what i call "speed - healing":take all the physical objects you both had together, pictures, clothes, etc...and play all your favorite songs that you listened to when you were together, over and over...i mean just totally dwell on the pics and music and all the places you use to go(but quit calling him), just really eat it up-its gonna hurt real bad at first..alot.but then you'll start getting tired of going thru the motions repeatedly, but keep doing it til' you're just sick of yourself and the pain, pretty soon you'll be laughing at the whole mess instead of crying...then just like that old Christmas show song, do this: put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walking 'cross the floor,put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walking out the door...and you can sing that dang song from ANNIE-the sun'll come out tomorrow, so you gotta hang on til tomorrow..come what may,tomorrow-you're only a day away... | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/15/2007 12:54:19 PM | I hope you are feeling better, it can be hard i know 
This poem was sent to me by a friend a few years ago, i hope it helps in some way
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person or people involved; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships, and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
I believe everything happens for a reason, and one day we understand that reason
With Love
Amara x | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/15/2007 1:13:16 PM | It happens to everyone. Don't ever call someone who has said goodbye . . . that demeans you and the other party finds it bothersome. Start dating right away even if you don't feel like it. Act like you want to be there with that other person even if it is just for the company and something to do. You will soon find you have little time to give the ex much of your time in thinking of them.
shortandsweet57 | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/15/2007 1:26:31 PM | Dear broken hearted,
My best advice - no communication is the best way to move on! Talking it out and keeping in touch only makes it more difficult to move ahead with your life. I have had break-ups and the best ones are when you completely cut off all contact. It is honestly the very best way to heal. Remember the good times, and never forget the bad ones. Everyone breaks up for a reason and dragging it out only makes it worse. After a 6 month relationship - you should probably be taking this time to feel good about yourself and concentrate on all the activities and people that make you happy that are still in your life.
Good luck to you! | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/15/2007 1:40:08 PM | Hi there, if that man which i have never seen him but i'll tell you what hes like, you can tell you love him and keep thinking about him, if he is really thinking or loving you?he could sent you at list five or six text to you, well love always dosen't work, for next time if you found someone els, 1. find out if he useing you, maby for sex, money, place to live or is he bord. I am abit cofuse why he stayed with you for only six months or maby be that type of man just useing nice ladies, sorry to being rude to you women are stupped you know why because woman has got nice heart and kind they quickly believe a man, but not all men there are lots of good men but which one is right for you. Next time don't let man use's you i mean don't sleep with until you find out he is right man, I am here to find right woman for my brother age 20 to 27, I am originally from KURDISTAN and i got married in 2002 first my mother in-low thought i am marrying her doghter for passport then i told her i am british already not every man getting married for passport or for some reason, after six months we got married in manchester and know i have two lovlel handsome doys, but my wife start having problem whith a serious problem (BPN) border line personalety, she always shouting swering at me makeing a problem for nothing, I still love her and treating her as queen because she used to be really really nice and romatic so just because she's ill now i have to ignor her, not i am not because its not her fualt she is ill and I promised my self I will look after her for ever. Sorry what i was saying is you need to find right man, and if you are drinking? drinks cuse alot of problem befor to find a man just give up drinking. Know i don'tthing he wants you because of arguing he let you that is horrible, every body argue at home its not just you or your x-boy friend. any way sorry about every thing and if i have deing rude i do appologise, i hope you find a good man so can look after you. A good women sould be recpect, Thank you  after all you'll be like that | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/15/2007 2:10:32 PM | Sometimes, unfortunately, men say "we'll stay friends" for lack of anything else to say. That way they figure they haven't "hurt us"....and they have no guilty feelings. Unlike ourselves, who never really understand what happened????? I have been there also.....as hard as it is....you have to think positive and move on.....he doesn't deserve you anyway.....and there is someone better coming your way!!!! | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/15/2007 2:35:00 PM | It's pretty clear that this guy either doesn't know how to have an "adult" conversation about what happened between you, doesn't even "know" what happened between you, or doesn't WANT to have the conversation. Either way, if you don't leave it alone, it's only going to eat at you.
Here's a suggestion I was given once, and it helped. Perhaps you'll find it useful too. Go back, in your mind, and examine EVERY relationship you've ever had, starting with the first person you ever kissed. Think about them, remember them, consider every detail you can recall, from how good it was to how bad, to who ended it, everything, in chronological order, from that one all the way up to the one you're just now trying to get over.
I'll bet you by the time you get to "now," you'll be able to put "this one" in perspective. | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/15/2007 3:10:34 PM | WOW...this lady has said it exactly the way it is. She is completely right! If you talk with this guy again, what are you going to say or do to make everything that has happened go away? Nothing....
Thank your lucky stars that he did this before you married him.
There is a reason behind all of this, and you may never know what it was. This was not honest or thoughtful on his part, but that's his problem. He's the one that can't be honest about his feelings. He's got issues if he can't even talk this over with you....weren't you suppose to the love of his life? The lady he was going to marry?
You're better off without him, and I know that's hard to swallow right now.....especially cause it hurts like hell. I know.... I've been there!! I didn't think I'd ever be myself again after I was left "hanging". But you know what? I'm so much stronger, smarter and happier now than I've ever been before. I don't even have a steady boyfriend right now, but there's nothing wrong with that, I've enjoyed myself!! Give your heart a chance heal, and more than anything forgive and forget. That last word, is the best word....forget, so you can move on again.....so you can love again. Don't carry this awful experience around with you forever, just get back out there and find someone who can share happiness with you again! Don't waste any of your time (as I did - 3 years - Yikes!! ) trying to figure it all out....why this and why that?? It's his problem not yours (anymore) thank goodness!! | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 35 | |
| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/15/2007 3:28:31 PM | | OP: breaking up is never easy, but you have to let him go. Last January, I was dating someone and we talked about the future....turned out our 'future' only made it to the next month. We were inseperable from the day we met, so not being with him was torture. I thought about him day and night, called him, e-mailed him and for a little while he would respond to me. We even made the mistake of 'hooking back up' two more times. I think that just made it even harder for both of us. I still continued to try and contact him, but I realized that I was just making myself look desperate and how could I move forward when I was stuck in the past?? Sometimes he pops into my mind, in retrospect though, we weren't really made for eachother but we did have a fun time while it lasted. (actually, the other day my rm & I were talking about him and he said he could never figure out why I was so crazy about him..LOL) Since the New Year has just begun, I bet OP: you'll be out meeting new ppl and dating up a storm in no time, and eventually you will forget about him a little bit more everyday...good luck! | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/17/2007 4:21:03 PM | | I had a weak moment the other day and emailed him on his my space account. oops! Anyway, I poured out all of my frustrations about what went on in the relationship and about him ignoring my calls. Looks like he deleted it without reading it. Oh well, at least it was good therapy putting my thoughts into writing. I just wish I didn't send it to him afterall. | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/17/2007 4:38:40 PM | muziklover.. you answered your own question....You said " i know he is just trying to move on"..
When you asked him when you could call again and he said a week, he didn't mean it. It was his way of distancing you without being mean. I think you already know that.
Even though you broke up amicably, he needs distance.. He may care about you too, and that is why he isn't answering your calls. He KNOWS that it is over. He has moved on and he wants you to a well. We are all different. It is possible that he will be your friend, just not right now, but one thing is for sure, any attempt on your part to MAKE him speak to you will only change any loving feelings he has toward you to animosity.
Ask yourself this question.. What is it you want from him right so badly? Do not be afraid to move on. Opportunities await you. Learn from this experience. Look how close you came to finding true love. Now you can take this experience and look for those red flags sooner so that you can find the right guy for you. YOu will be fine. Walk away with your head high and keep your heart open for someone new. Get involved in activities that take your mind off of him. Stop obsessing. What will you say to him today if he answers the phone:? Why didn't you answer my calls? Write him a letter. Say everything you want to say to him in it..Good and BAD.. Then burn it and send it out to the Universe...Wipe your hands together , smile and say thank you for this experience. It is now gone.. ON to the next adventure.. coach..
I | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/17/2007 10:32:53 PM | | frankly scarlett: Good advice. I'll try with all my willpower not to contact him again, unless I hear from him first. Somehow I doubt that will happen anytime soon, if at all. I'm casually dating another guy and he has good qualities that my ex didn't have but at the same time, lacks qualities that my ex did have. Makes me want to keep looking around to see who else is out there. I just have to keep telling myself to look forwards, not backwards. | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/17/2007 11:21:14 PM | Just my two cents here...
I broke up with my ex-girlfriend after a three month relationship back in July. It was a mutual breakup, but it was quite painful for me because we got along just fine. And I made it quite known how I felt. It was more "it's not you, it's me" on her end. She even mentioned in the breakup note that I would make some woman very lucky someday. I wanted to put the relationship on hold for a while and I told her that I still wanted to be friends. And she agreed to the latter.
We did continue to swap e-mails on a weekly basis for a few of more weeks. But it was becoming too much for me, and by the middle of August, the e-mails stopped. She has not made any attempt to contact me by any means, and vice versa. The only exception was in October when I sent a short e-mail wishing her a happy 30th birthday and hoped things were going well. Her reply was just as brief..."Thanks, I hope all is going well with you too." I still think about her. But I've moved on and I'm now actively seeking a new romantic interest.
So far, no takers. | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 1/29/2007 1:29:02 AM | | Now this is one "Mature Person"! This is the person everyone should be listening too. Everyone has their own degree of emotional tolerance. It's not always over when it's over...sometimes it's space, sometimes it's time. Whatever the situation, it's different for everyone. If someone is not ready to let go, then don't! Take the advice of John here and do things to improve yourself and feel good and confident...and funny how people do recognize the confidence and change, and the tables turn...soon he'll be thinking of you. Then it's your turn to make the choice of keeping him, or not. But it starts with you...and the changes you make...The saying, "You keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting" is so true. So, make some changes and remember what happened yesterday will create results for tomorrow...ALOHA...Linda | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/1/2007 12:28:40 AM | Some people are incapable of saying no or hurting someone's feelings, so they choose to just ignore them. I have an ex that was like that and it was very hurtful to feel like he just didn't care.
One thing I have found to be a great help in getting over someone is to realize that no matter how good looking, smart, funny, sexy, financially stable, nice, wonderful or perfect someone seems to be for you, one of the biggest factors is that THEY REALLY LIKE/LOVE you too. If they could let you go that easy, than they didn't share your feelings and you need to realize that issue alone makes them NOT the perfect one for you. | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:23:45 AM | | I am little by little getting over him, and forcing myself not to call him or email him anymore. The only way I'd ever talk to him again is by going over to his apartment, we don't share the same friends or work together. But I'd rather keep my dignity and not go over there at this time, not when I'm still not over him. Sometime in the future I would like to see him again, when I'm completely healed. Then he'll know what he's missing out on! | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:32:31 AM | 30 is the NEW 20 !!! (for 2007). I heard of guys lying their way to the bottom, but to talk about engagment, thats kinda pushing it.
My PHD tells me, he's fed up with you and finds you annoying. Time to move on!
Next question? | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:51:41 AM | | I thought someone had written what you posted about me when I first read your story. It was like reading about what happened to me in a book or something. I had been seeing this guy, no names, because he's now on POF looking for what he already had....lol We had been together for 6 months and he continued to let his ex get in the middle of our great relationship. We were so good together and he knows it. It was like Magic when we were together, but he just couldn't be a real man and stand up to his ex. She continued to throw the kids up in his face and tell him he couldn't see them, until it just weighed to heavy on the 2 of us. When we split it was a mutual thing. I didn't want to be the cause of him not getting to see his kids and it wasn't a choice that he had to make either being with me or seeing his kids. I gladly walked away! We continued to see each other for 2 months, but our relationship was in cognito. I love him and probably will always have a place in my heart for him. I know he cares for me too and he tries to show it, but I need more. I've tried to move on and it's been a hard journey for me, but now I know our love affair is over and I'm moving on. I'm not sure if he has completely moved on, but we are about to be further apart than I really wanted. We still talk pretty often and he will come by sometimes, but things aren't the way they were and the way they could have been. I'm moving and hopefully this will help me move on with my life and see that there are others out there that will commit and stand up for their relationship. Once you put yourself out there and start dating again, things will get easier! | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 47 | |
| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:10:30 AM | From my own personal experience I can say that there will come a day
when you discover that you haven't thought about him for an entire day.
Sometime in the future I would like to see him again, when I'm completely healed. Then he'll know what he's missing out on!
Ya, you know after 3 years when I thought I was finally completely over my
ex-gf a friend calls me to tell me she got married and has a baby...damn, I thought,
I felt really sad and surprised at how I felt....stupid friend!!
 ....and even more surprising; 2 years after her marriage, another buddy
calls me up and tells me she's now divorced and was heading down hill...her ex
refuses to pay support for their child...she's hard up on money, no job and takes
the bus to get around.....and, I'm thinking: Stupid B#tch, if she only stuck by me, she
wouldn't be this lonely broke ass girl. And I don't want to be like that...to wish
pain on another but that's what I thought at the time.
Now I'm married & happy etc........too bad we can't
press fast-forward to see the positives in front of us. And it is only NOW that
I truly wish my ex the best....hope I don't get divorced and change my
mind - LOL! | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/6/2007 12:24:42 PM | i think he's really angry about the whole thing and probably thinks he wasted his time with some one he really didn't love!ITS VERY natural for most guys to respond that way and i also think you rushed into calling him a week after you broke up!
he thinks you trying to use friendship to allure him back and belive me he's not gonna pick the phone. want advice??get over it and look beyond the whole thing....healing comes with only patience,there other princes out the my dear good day. | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:09:46 PM | Lots of great advice here..Funny most guys say get another one  but for some females its not so easy...Mine ended on get this Dec 30 yes just before NY eve and I caught him chating (cell phone call) damn I was pissed!
I understand about closure tho its like what hapened I didnt see the gun never mind the bullet u just hit me in the heart with!!!
I realize I SHOUD be doing better than I am but its a process and some of us give more,love more whatever in a relationship than others do!!Move on is easy to say but not as easy to do...Just nurture yourself and try not to obsessive over him(thats what I find myself doing) in my case he just used me and he was a liar and a cheat..do I want that in my man NOO!!so There is no other choice!!I have to get over the dirtbag and regain my life and hold my head up!!sooo thats my nickels worth I hope this helps somehow I know what youre going thru and theres no easy way around it you have to go through it!!!best of luck to you | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/19/2007 6:47:57 PM | | Well, it's been 3 months now since the breakup and I learned yesterday that he now has a new girlfriend. I have to admit that did make me sad but he's also dating on the rebound so who knows how long it will last? Anyway, I'm still trying to move on and want to continue going forwards not backwards. | |
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