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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/19/2007 8:17:09 PM | Same thing happened to me with my ex.
We were giving each other space and I gave him too much space because he took that time to start a relationship with someone else.
After I found out he was with his best buddi's wife I was really shocked and tryed to email and call him. To no avail. He never answered me and the new woman answered his cell oh, and also moved in with him. I had sad thoughts about it for about a month and now am trying to date again. I have found that the more people I talk to and try to get close to are making his memory a ghost. If you do not move on you will drive yourself crazii.
Men do really stupid things and really,he was just a pawn in the game of life and the next time when "he "calls for closure after "she" leaves him it will be his turn to feel the pain and humiliation. Then you will have your "Sweet Justice". | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/19/2007 8:30:13 PM | Muziklover....I know it hurts, but the reality is when men and women break up men typically don't want to talk right away. You have to give him some space. The idea was that you two are over, so you have to attempt to ground your emotions and be strong. Your feelings will eventually align with your choice; however, not right away. The last thing you really need is to speak to him. You have to close one of your nostrils right now because he is seeing too much. Remember the old addage, "never let em see you sweat?" Well, here's where that line fits your situation to a "T." Do your best not to reveale too much about what your are experiencing. He gave up the right to know what you are feeling when you two decided to break it off. Now, try to make room to heal. You have a huge open wound and all you are doing is pouring salt on it.
Regroup....call a girlfriend everytime you feel the need to call him. As a matter of fact, if he truly wanted to be friends, he would make the effort. Don't chase him...take your Nikes off and put back in the closet. Save them for the moments wherein you want to retreat from those that you are not interested in.
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/19/2007 8:31:25 PM | Alltogethernow, great post.
OP, you do not get closure from him, you get it from yourself. You have already stated that you do not want him based on qualities he has and problems that arose. What you are really mourning is not him, it is the loss of the relationship, the potential that is no longer there.
He is not who you fell in love with, erego, you have lost nothing because what you thought you had did not exist. Look at the relationship, figure out what you have learned from it, even if it is just I don't want a man that.... Then decide to move on and you will.
You will be surprised at how much changing your attitude will accomplish. Remember, with all of the red flags, you dodged a bullet. His not calling was a big favor, it kept you from getting sucked into a situation you don't want. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 54 | |
| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/22/2007 11:14:19 AM | | OP: I gave in to my urge to bring misery to myself by trying to talk to my ex on msn last night....he didn't reply, then he set himself to 'away'. I knew I was setting myself up for the possibility he wouldn't talk to me, but...it still hurt just the same. I am obviously still not over this one. | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 3/6/2007 10:13:58 PM | | I wanted to update you all on my situation. First of all, I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your helpful advice during these last few months. I can honestly say that I have not contacted him since mid January. For me that's a real breakthrough. I have gone on dates with other guys, some went well and some didn't. I'm not dating anyone steadily, since I'm still in casual dating mode and not quite ready to jump into another serious relationship. But when I do, I'll know that I have gained so much wisdom from this whole experience. | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 3/7/2007 6:51:23 AM | | hi world i totally understand how u feel ,,,,, i receently lost my dad for 14 motnhs i was involved with a man i meet on the fish cite named r2dee2 from michigan his real name was art ,..im sitting here today with the lose of my dad and the lose of what i thought was a good freind ,,im realty he used me he came to my home all these months and we did things when the things were good for him he was happy he even moved into my home cause his fasmily kickerd him out ,, ,,when i found out my dad was sick and god do i remember this he said i got what i deserved i said like i wantee my dad to die ,,a few weeks later my dad had a aweful reaction to chemo and had a heart attack ..when i went into the hospital and seen him i was crushed ,,i came home crying he left and went to the cafe ,,,this man didnt have the nerve to telll me he was playing to heads hurting 2 people ..so he moved from my home and we continued this so called frindship my dad died 2 days later he called at 2 am asking to go to the casino when we left he borrowed 60 from me and then some i asked for 60 back ...the next day he came to my house crying about noit having no food i gave him some he left the day after he came to my home asking me for some body gel i had bought him when he was living here i didnt have it i ggave it away felt guilty and went bought him more i buried my dad that day ,,,,he also asked of the property i was intheriting ,,, that friday i called him t tell him if the soap or body wash he answered the phone callling me a argivating**** and slammed the phone down on call 2 he accused me of trying to mess up his date onthe 3rd call a lady answered did i need to be hurt like this after lossing my dad did i need to be treated like this after losing a man i loved ,, this man art told ne he gave up my friendship for a bad blow job ,,,,i hope in life he reaps what he souls i hope hope karma helps him dearly i feel no lose here he hurt me inthe worst way a man could hurt a women .. if anylady of man ever talk to him his name is r2deetwo27 on yahoo please beware the man lives in total lies as long as it good for him he use u abuse u mentally andlaugh when u hurt .. he has no heart no conscience and hell say anything he think he can to get what he wants | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
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Author Thread: We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Astreaa
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 51
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History
We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/19/2007 11 09 PM
Same thing happened to me with my ex.
We were giving each other space and I gave him too much space because he took that time to start a relationship with someone else.
After I found out he was with his best buddi's wife I was really shocked and tryed to email and call him. To no avail. He never answered me and the new woman answered his cell oh, and also moved in with him. I had sad thoughts about it for about a month and now am trying to date again. I have found that the more people I talk to and try to get close to are making his memory a ghost. If you do not move on you will drive yourself crazii.
Men do really stupid things and really,he was just a pawn in the game of life and the next time when "he "calls for closure after "she" leaves him it will be his turn to feel the pain and humiliation. Then you will have your "Sweet Justice".
bella vista
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 52
view profile
History
We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/19/2007 11 13 PM
Muziklover....I know it hurts, but the reality is when men and women break up men typically don't want to talk right away. You have to give him some space. The idea was that you two are over, so you have to attempt to ground your emotions and be strong. Your feelings will eventually align with your choice; however, not right away. The last thing you really need is to speak to him. You have to close one of your nostrils right now because he is seeing too much. Remember the old addage, "never let em see you sweat?" Well, here's where that line fits your situation to a "T." Do your best not to reveale too much about what your are experiencing. He gave up the right to know what you are feeling when you two decided to break it off. Now, try to make room to heal. You have a huge open wound and all you are doing is pouring salt on it.
Regroup....call a girlfriend everytime you feel the need to call him. As a matter of fact, if he truly wanted to be friends, he would make the effort. Don't chase him...take your Nikes off and put back in the closet. Save them for the moments wherein you want to retreat from those that you are not interested in.
packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 53
view profile
History
We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/19/2007 11 25 PM
Alltogethernow, great post.
OP, you do not get closure from him, you get it from yourself. You have already stated that you do not want him based on qualities he has and problems that arose. What you are really mourning is not him, it is the loss of the relationship, the potential that is no longer there.
He is not who you fell in love with, erego, you have lost nothing because what you thought you had did not exist. Look at the relationship, figure out what you have learned from it, even if it is just I don't want a man that.... Then decide to move on and you will.
You will be surprised at how much changing your attitude will accomplish. Remember, with all of the red flags, you dodged a bullet. His not calling was a big favor, it kept you from getting sucked into a situation you don't want.
Ahhh!
Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 54
view profile
History
We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 2/22/2007 2 19 PM
OP: I gave in to my urge to bring misery to myself by trying to talk to my ex on msn last night....he didn't reply, then he set himself to 'away'. I knew I was setting myself up for the possibility he wouldn't talk to me, but...it still hurt just the same. I am obviously still not over this one.
muziklover
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 55
view profile
History
We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 3/7/2007 1 58 AM
I wanted to update you all on my situation. First of all, I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your helpful advice during these last few months. I can honestly say that I have not contacted him since mid January. For me that's a real breakthrough. I have gone on dates with other guys, some went well and some didn't. I'm not dating anyone steadily, since I'm still in casual dating mode and not quite ready to jump into another serious relationship. But when I do, I'll know that I have gained so much wisdom from this whole experience.
justme4u1955
Joined: 11/11/2005
Msg: 56
view profile
History
We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 3/7/2007 9 23 AM
hi world i totally understand how u feel ,,,,, i receently lost my dad for 14 motnhs i was involved with a man i meet on the fish cite named r2dee2 from michigan his real name was art ,..im sitting here today with the lose of my dad and the lose of what i thought was a good freind ,,im realty he used me he came to my home all these months and we did things when the things were good for him he was happy he even moved into my home cause his fasmily kickerd him out ,, ,,when i found out my dad was sick and god do i remember this he said i got what i deserved i said like i wantee my dad to die ,,a few weeks later my dad had a aweful reaction to chemo and had a heart attack ..when i went into the hospital and seen him i was crushed ,,i came home crying he left and went to the cafe ,,,this man didnt have the nerve to telll me he was playing to heads hurting 2 people ..so he moved from my home and we continued this so called frindship my dad died 2 days later he called at 2 am asking to go to the casino when we left he borrowed 60 from me and then some i asked for 60 back ...the next day he came to my house crying about noit having no food i gave him some he left the day after he came to my home asking me for some body gel i had bought him when he was living here i didnt have it i ggave it away felt guilty and went bought him more i buried my dad that day ,,,,he also asked of the property i was intheriting ,,, that friday i called him t tell him if the soap or body wash he answered the phone callling me a argivating**** and slammed the phone down on call 2 he accused me of trying to mess up his date onthe 3rd call a lady answered did i need to be hurt like this after lossing my dad did i need to be treated like this after losing a man i loved ,, this man art told ne he gave up my friendship for a bad blow job ,,,,i hope in life he reaps what he souls i hope hope karma helps him dearly i feel no lose here he hurt me inthe worst way a man could hurt a women .. if anylady of man ever talk to him his name is r2deetwo27 on yahoo please beware the man lives in total lies as long as it good for him he use u abuse u mentally andlaugh when u hurt .. he has no heart no conscience and hell say anything he think he can to get what he wants
if u care to chat to me my name is janet im justme4u1955
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Show ALL Forums > Broken Hearts > We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on? | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 3/7/2007 4:39:32 PM | | honestly.. there is nothing you can do.. and the more you attempt to call the further you will push him. Cut the desire of communication. I understand how hard it is, but do it for your own sanity. | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 3/7/2007 5:22:48 PM | | In the wonderful words of Beyonce....."To the left, to the left...everything you own in a box to the left...." Nobody is irreplaceable....move on! "There will be another man in a minute...in fact he'll be here in a minute..." | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 3/17/2007 4:43:20 PM | Exactly the same thing happened to me. We were together for just under 6 months, with plenty of promises on his behalf - plenty! Including moving to where I live, holidays, the future if we were together bla bla bla! Then out of the blue, he drives 150 miles, stays for 20 mins and drives away again! No reason for the break up apart from he couldn't do it anymore. That was it then - no contact. I sent a letter outlining my feelings, saying he was after running away and that he should consider it before he threw it all away. Well the cold reply should have been enough but no I said we would still be friends. Anyway, two texts in 4 weeks and I just got so pissed with him last week that I forced him to say yay or nay to us being friends. He said he'd "a lot on"!! I just said fine, he'd never hear from me again. To be honest, I don't have any closure on why he did it but now I feel much better. I thought we could be friends but its true what they say, cut ties, think of something else and stand back and realise that if he had really, truly cared for you then he wouldn't have given you up. By the way, I do feel better now - I still have my bad days, but this part of the healing. Better than what he is doing anyway - working 20 hrs a day to avoid dealing with the issue. If they can't worship you at the beginning imagine what they will be life after 5 or 10 years!!!
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 4/14/2007 9:07:31 PM | | I called my ex about 4 months after we broke up. He still had so much animosity towards me. Another thing, is that I have bipolar disorder and even though it's well controlled with meds, I still have minor ups and downs. My ex was bothered by this, and didn't really understand the illness at all. So when we spoke on the phone a few weeks ago, he threw it all in my face, and yelled at me that I needed therapy and that medicine doesn't do sh*t. He also reamed into me about everything I did that hurt him, yet offered no apologies on his part for what he did to hurt me. Well, I definitely have the closure I was seeking. Now I know how much of a jerk he really was. If calling your ex and talking to him one last time is what it takes to help you get over him, then I say do it. | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 4/14/2007 9:22:28 PM | The best way to manage is to REPLACE that thought of WAnting contact into something positive for you. An example would be to watch 1/2 hr of a favorite movie when the feelings hit. Whatever behavior engages your mind so completely it forces you to NOT think about contacting him. I like to memorize the words to music such as hyms, or favorite top 40. It makes my brain switch activities.
Our brain is pliable,so you will "dig a rut" neurologically and make it harder to terminate your unhealthful /unheplful desire, the longer you give in to repeating thoughts of upset. You must jump the track on your chain of thought. | |
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| We broke up, he won't answer my calls. How do I move on?
Posted: 4/15/2007 12:13:20 AM | I broke up with someone after a few months and we tried 'just chatting and talking it through'. The thing is, he took each and every contact as an indication that there was still hope we might get together again. In the end, it was easier (and kinder on him) to go cold turkey and just stop contact. So I can see where your ex might be coming from. Whatever - it's over.
It's an old cliche but time really does heal. Or you could try some diy mind programming. Try associating his name with something you find unpleasant in everyday life. Apparently this technique really does work! Chrissy. | |
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