| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/4/2007 4:13:00 PM | | Honestly, I hope for his sake that he is just trying to manipulate you into sex. I have heard of men who propose on the 3rd or 4th date... If these men are not just after sex, then I must say that there are many males in need of sterilization. | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/4/2007 7:58:35 PM | | You had some really great dates and now he has become infatuated. If he gave you a scare - tell him. Just say that you want to take it slow (let the infatuation wear down a bit) and if truly is 'madly in love' with you, your comfort will be important to him and he will be able to have the patience to let you go at your own pace | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/4/2007 8:35:11 PM | If you liked him and RESPECTED him on those three dates, then you should respect him now and be kind enough to accept his call or call him and be honest.....you may not be "in love" with him now, but who know's what the future holds, you might end up together or at least good friends. Remember "Do unto others....." need I say more? Good Luck.  | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 5:32:45 AM | | If you had three dates that you described as very good dates, then why would you not continue? I'd latch onto some of that energy in the relationship and see where it goes. I don't think it's altogether healthy to feel madly in love after three dates, but who knows what he meant when he said it. It sounds to me like he's got the butterflies, he feels the chemistry that you felt and that he's excited about it. Nothing says you have to be madly in love with him. I'd say give the relationship a chance, but be honest with him about your feelings and your definition of love. At any rate, best of wishes. | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:39:27 AM | I think that you have ended the relationship. At this point there is nothing that you can say that will bring you back to where you were at date 3. He is obsessed with the idea of you, and not in love with who you really are.
Count yourself as lucky that you got away.
Are these messages for you by e-mail or by phone?
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:46:04 AM | | If you like him a lot, whats wrong with continuing to date him? People 'change' at different stages in the relationship, 3 months, 6 months, a year. When your 'wonderfulness' wears off, maybe he'll still be madly in love with you, maybe not. Besides, there's lots of levels of 'love', and he could be madly in love with you the way he's madly in love with his favorite recliner. In the meantime, you have a guy who is treating you well, cares for you, and wants to be with you. Is that so bad? Let him have his puppy love if you are enjoying it. Just be sure to tell him the entire time what youre feelings are, and dont exaggerate him just to agree with him. | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:57:16 AM | I just read your profile and I think I'm madly in love with you now...
Seriously though, while I don't think it's impossible to feel strongly about someone after just 3 dates..I suspect the feeling is more lust than love. But maybe to him it feels like love?
It seems a bit strong and even manipulative for him to throw that at you soon. | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:15:27 AM | Um, did none of you read where she said she has since talked to him and things are working out fine? I don't think she really needs more advice on the situation. And JMO, how anybody could assertain JUST from her initial post that this man is controlling, obsessive or psychotic is beyond me. People verbalize their feelings in many different ways. OP, I am happy for you and your ability to bring yourself out of your box to talk to him and work it out. Good luck!
Blu | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:25:57 AM | Listen to Msg #12
You need to call him and apologize - what are you 16?? Avoiding him because he expressed
his feelings for you - He likes you!!! Wow - that has to be worth something - you went out with him three times - You must like something about him!!!
Okay - he gave you cold feet - you got alittle freaked out - talk to him about it - you state the communication between you guys was real good - well - TALK TO HIM.
Dont just blow him off with nothing. Thats kinda not fair to him - dont you think?
*** I read your update - GOOD FOR YOU - YOU ARE A STAND-UP GIRL!!! Girls like
you make us look good!!!! | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:34:12 AM | | OH, How i recognize this from many....There are people that are so intreguing, polite, fasinating, fun, charasmatic, and have an invisable flow of goodness radiating from them...that others want some of that themselves.....be honest and upfront that, while he feels this way, you're not quite ready to take that step so soon...Best of luck. | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:11:04 AM | | Real love is something that is dynamic and grows over time. The word means many things to many people - ultimately in the truest sense it is enduring and everlasting. After a week it's hard to imagine that having developed but it could be the beginning of something that will mature. In the last serious relationship that I had we didn't use the "L" word in the first 10 days but we knew after the first date that we wanted to pursue the relationship and we both withdrew out profiles and began seeing each other 3+ times/week - we invested in the realtionship and it was exclusive. We laughed and talked as well but there was also an intangible chemistry which drew us mutually together. That probably doesn't help - it's just my experience. | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:13:10 AM | | i feel smothered just reading this thread. three dates no matter how good is not love, infuatuation perhaps. Did you have sex yet cox it could be lust and thats an easy one to confuse with love, | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:20:00 AM | Hey everyone has their right to their opinion, of course.
I recommend to the OP not to be as jaded about this guy as those here spouting negative opinions about someone WHO THEY HAVE NEVER MET.
It's easy to take your limited life experience regarding people you have dated who told you early on in the relationship that they love you. Forming a PESSIMISTIC opinion. Personally if someone told me early on in a relationship they loved me, I'd be flattered first, then contemplate if the feeling is GENUINE, communicate my feelings, interpret the response, and go forward.
Of course it's possible that the guy is manipulative, a player, wants to get laid, lustful, co-dependent, low self esteem, infatuated, obsessed, desperate, a big loser, whatever.
Then again, maybe he is expressive, appreciates the time he spent with the OP, and is feeling love toward her. Without knowing the guy, how do you know how he really feels?
Also judging the OP to be immature is ludicrous. She posted a fair question in a public forum, and you all are guessing what she is really like. Wow.
We all have a different way to view love. It really means something different to all of us. Personally I think we are all unique individuals who have unique ways to express this emotion to someone who we hold in high regard.
I recommended the OP talk to this guy, improve communication, find out what he really means, how he feels. She after all knows this guy better than all of us. If she wants to get to know the guy better, I'm all for it. Why tear someone down when you don't really know what your are talking about? | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:36:23 AM | He took you to the Olive Garden?!?!
Get out while you still can!!
As for the other thing, your issue is that he's moving too fast for your comfort. So that's what you tell him: "You're moving faster than I'm comfortable with. Let's take our time, shall we?"
Of course he'll be embarrassed, however you cool his jets, but that's his problem. He's as socially inexperienced as you are, and showed his hand way too soon. (And in a letter? Kind of chickensh1t, that.) Since you're not going to fling yourself into his mad embrace, he's going to suffer no matter what you do. And since avoiding him hurts him at least as much as telling him, not telling him is also chickensh1t. Tell him and get it over with. You'll both feel so refreshingly adult!
Edit - I knew that speed reading would get me in trouble someday. Congratulations on finding the handle!
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:47:39 AM | its easy on a answer...dont make a huge deal over it. he is entitled to his feelings..and some people just have a instant connection to a person more than another one.
i met a guy a few years back..was same basic scenario..we got along great..he was very sweet.
but he said right out he loved me and i was floored in shock.,,it was not in writing. he got told right up straight...i**like** you alot but i wont lie..i dont love you but care for you. we were together for 10 months and were to move in together.
he was told, i will not say it unless i mean it and know i feel it to be true.
was 6months together before it came out and was by accident while talking. just talk to him and be open/honest...explain how you feel over the love issue for yourself and where your own comfort levels are.
if he cares for you as he is stating..then he will be caring/loving and most important understanding and into you. he will take the time and invest well into it to see where things go. if he doesnt then you will know..he just isnt worth investing your time and future into.
as the old saying goes..nothing ventured..nothing gained.
oops never read all the posts....glad to hear things are being talked out..good luck in your future | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:59:36 AM | Early declarations of love are a sign of psychopathy/sociopathy so I would be careful too, However if you feel everything else is ok then why not continue to see him, tell him how you feel and keep a watch for more red flags. When someone says they are 'in love' after 3 dates they mean 'in lust' but its nothing to worry about in a normal person, you can't say you love someone that soon but you can have the hots for them. Enjoy being worshipped even of its only for a while! | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/5/2007 9:18:06 AM | I once met a man who told me he loved me after only 4 dates. My answer was perhaps a little bit callous, but I told him he didn't even know me, let alone love me. Love takes time.
Take your time and never be forced in to saying the 'L' word just to appease someone.
Incidentally, it turned out this guy was actually married and seeing me behind his wife's back, cheeky humbug! Interestingly, he'd married his wife after two weeks of knowing her and realised very quickly that they were not in love. Old habits die hard I guess.
Be careful with your heart honey xx | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/7/2007 6:35:06 PM | | Madly in love after 3 dates? Is he desperate? I've chatted with alot of men, and let me tell you......if they said that they were in love with me on the third date, I'd panic because you can't know if you love someone in that short of time. I would have a talk with him and tell him to apply a little pressure on that brake peddle lol. You need to take it slow with someone, and get to know THEM, and what there like, and if there truly is the chemistry, and strength to survive a GOOD relationship. | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/7/2007 6:46:15 PM | | For Gods sake... he doesnt mean madly in love as in madly in love and wanting to get married and stuff... he probably thought you'd find it funny and warm... some guys just havent a clue about this sort of thing. Im sure he just meant that he really likes you and is very happy hes met you and really enjoys spending time with you... stop fretting... take it as a compliment and a sign that he likes u a lot!!! relax!!! enjoy the moment and take it one step at a time. | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 1/20/2007 9:22:21 PM | to gypsyromany -
saying that
early declarations of love are a sign of psychopathy/sociopathy is a little over the top don't you think???
I'm told that I have a personality disorder because I tend to feel connected to a person early on in the relationship. From everything I've read in my life, and especially in these forums, it is not unusual for a person with a history of being abused to sometimes confuse normal human kindness for romantic interest. Like a dog expecting to be kicked, when we get a pat on the head instead we can get a little over-zealous.
Then again, I know a woman who left the man she'd been living with for 16 years to move in with my friend Joe the week she met him. They've been happily married for 17 years now, after living together for several before that.
Saying one is in love after 3 dates does NOT necessarily mean in lust either, imho. The problem is that our culture has been so inundated with the Hollywood big screen version of what romantic love is all about that we've forgotten that the kind of relationships shared over a lifetime - like my grandparents who were married over 50 years - have to be based on friendship and trust more than the "eyes locking across a crowded room" scenario we've been force-fed in every book we read and every "chick flick" we watch!
I think it's quite charming that he sent a card too - a keepsake - something you'll laugh with your grandchildren about - especially if he's their grandfather!
Darlene | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:07:09 AM | 3 dates...??
#&LL....I'm Madly In Love .. and we haven't even MET, Yet...!!!
***
2 scenarios... : ...
~ She's Pretty .. Sexxy .. Intelligent .. Within my 'age-range', and I / hers ..
Tall .. Stacked-to-the-Rack .. with Freckles, Too!! .. and _Available_..!!!
...B U T...
..because she has the 75-mile Filter on....I can't even let her know that I'd Marry her....
~Sight-Unseen~..!!!
...
The other Lady is a total Scream....!!!
Holds _Nothing_ back...
even Sexual topics !!
~ How utterly Refreshing ~...
to find a 'woman' that doesn't '*SLAM* the door '
at the slightest indication of an Adult conversation..!!!
But....she isn't entertaining any real thoughts of an LTR, currently....
...Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh!!!... | |
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| Madly in love after... 3 dates??
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:07:45 AM | | You're only creeped out because you don't feel the same way, not on the same page. Just figure out if you're going to ever be on the same page or if it's time to bail. Remember when it was okay to be madly in love? Now it's just psychotic. It's a shame we can't be madly in love anymore and have to over-analyze everything. If we could, then maybe there wouldn't be PlentyOfLosers. | |
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