| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 2:29:26 PM | Men are visual creatures - they look.
But the problem is when they act on it.
Lots of men (and women) have had one night stands in their 20's.
I would definately start pointing out hot men when you are with him, to see his reaction.
But don't ever get in your mind you can change him, us females can get stupid and think 'oh but i can change his ways', wrong.
But I would start doing the same thing, see his reaction. If it bothers you, then tell him. Relationships are built on communication and honesty - why so much don't last too long today. sounds like you are already suspicious - and that can break a relationship as well. Again if it bothers you - tell him. | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 2:51:28 PM | uhhhh...I have NOT had one night stands thank you very much...we're not all manwhores you know....but hey, if you have the same type of sexual history and that's your lifestyle, I'm not here to judge...just saying is all........(that I hope you had him tested)
and also, with my ex-gf of 3.5 years, during times when I WAS in love with her, I did not look when I was around her, I respected her...but when I didnt love her and was sick of the relationship, I was always looking and commenting... | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 2:56:18 PM | Jay.
I did not accuse you of having a one night stand.
And I have never had one in my life and it certainly is not my "lifestyle".
If you think that having a one night stand makes you a manwhore then that's your opinion. | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 2:58:26 PM | ^ well then, I would ask you then... why have you never had a one night stand? and why is it not your lifestyle?...surely you must think its wrong then right?...then why is it okay that he has?
btw...Im asking cuz you said "most" of them happened when he was 20, so I'm assuming that that means its still part of his current lifestlye | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 3:15:07 PM | Jay....to answer some of your questions...
The reason I am not into one night stands is because it simply is not in my comfort zone. I would rather be in a loving relationship to share that intimacy.
However, I do not frown upon on those who have one nightters.
As far as my SO. we are in a serious relationship and I really do not believe that he is out there sleeping around behind my back.
You know, sometimes, when you date someone, you are curious to know about their history.
He didn't brag and was quite embarrassed to admit he had a one night stand. | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 3:29:47 PM | i had a 5 yr stand
omg i felt so cheep and abused after
is that the same?
oh and men and women are equally as visual btw queeny
proof is in the pudding as if u read mens n womens profiles 90% more of womens profiles request the other person to b attractive whereas men just leave that to b a given and dont feel the need to state it, women do state it so therefore it would appear to b a higher priority
when was the last time u read a mans profile where it stated a woman to have firm tits and 6 pack abs? i highly doubt youll ever see that but lotsa women have that in there profiles
in truth women are more vanity oriented ,men on the other hand are more of what can make me happy oriented
this isnt a 100% of the time statement all statements have their exceptions | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 3:35:24 PM |
Shells, you mentioned engaged.. In my world, that's serious!!!
Yes ~gem~.. in your world..
Had it been serious.. I would have been married..
I wasn't "serious" enough about the person to continue with the relationship..
No date was set.. No wedding was cancelled..
An engagement was called off and a relationship ended..
Nothing serious in my world..  | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 5:20:35 PM | | You are pretty and he is not so pretty ... he is insecure and just trying to keep you on your toes ... You speak of your comfort zone ... you should revisit that concern ... | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 5:27:36 PM |
womens profiles 90% more of womens profiles request the other person to b attractive whereas men just leave that to b a given and dont feel the need to state it, women do state it so therefore it would appear to b a higher priority
when was the last time u read a mans profile where it stated a woman to have firm tits and 6 pack abs? i highly doubt youll ever see that but lotsa women have that in there profiles
in truth women are more vanity oriented ,men on the other hand are more of what can make me happy oriented
Well said trubble! 
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 6:19:19 PM | Helen 28
That would definitely annoy me and as far as I'm concerned it's a sign of disrpespect. I do whatever I can to make the man I'm with feel special and that includes NOT checking out people. | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 7:08:33 PM | Hey g/f...if you feel like this now (not hot) then how do ya think you're gonna feel in another month or two or six. Get out now.
Now if your man is just checking out women, that's normal. We do it and they do it. | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 7:38:56 PM | Okay, am I on crack..
If a man says to me.. I've never had a "serious relationship" but I've had lots of one night stands.. and moves his head from my collarbone during a movie to check out a chick ON TV???? No one else would get slightly queered out.
Okay, then,.. enuf said.. No wonder I'm single still. | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:53:50 PM | I haven't seen one womans profile on here requesting that the guy be cute - but then again I don't go looking for women on here lol. But I know that I am not like that, and neither are my friends. Yes, when we are out - I like a good looking ass in tight leather pants, but when I am dating someone, my eyes are usually for him only. But then again if someone looked like Johnny Depp walked by - I would definately look.
I wasn't slamming men - I was just stating that they are more visual than women (guess i should have stated that) - and please don't call me queeny - me no like that!
I kinda agree with jay - if he is looking - then he might be looking for something better - seeing whats out there he can get his hooks into. | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/6/2007 5:52:02 AM | lol queen ya know u can always have a look at other ppls profiles its quite interesting after all to see how different ppl express and identify themselves
i especially like the pure airheads that say "i like to have fun " wow these ones must b real keepers or theree close cousins who say " i like to hang with friends n have fun " these comments really set em apart from the ones that state they like to b miserable and alone n want to cut their toenails while watching reruns of howdy doody
everyone looks at other ppl , the looking isnt as important as if they walked over n asked for the persons phone number
humans will always look
thats the nature of having eyeballs n a brain | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 1/6/2007 9:25:25 AM |
I just find it unusual that at his age, he hasn't had more long term relationships
I am much more offended by this statement, than the fact that the man looks at other women.
Guess I must be a real freak. 
Back to the original question. If this behaviour bothers you, you either need to talk to him about it, or dump him, cause as someone else pointed out, you aren't likely to change him. | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 9/29/2007 6:54:37 PM | Well, I have seen alot of male profiles and sorry trubble, there are alot that ask for a slim, well built lady, mm some are more specific then that. For me, personally, I believe both men and women are visual no matter what they claim. No I am not a hard body far from it I am 51 years old over weight and things aren't mm in the same place they once were, but that said, men my age don't have the bodies they once did either yet I find many, with their beer bellies and bald heads still want the 21 year old body from their woman...lol....this is my truth and always will be:
We all age, are bodies age, and deteriate, we can only do the best we can with what we have. In my world, when I am 80 wrinkly and sagging to my waist, I want to look into the man I loves eyes, rub his bald head, fill is oversized middle and look unto that wrinkly face knowing I am loved and I love him no matter what our bodies look like.
Funny maybe folks it is my age, but for me, I don't care what a person looks like, their size, color, or age, it is what is in the heart that counts...heck but I won't throw out
mmm never mind just kidding!
My eye never wonders~
fiesty | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 9/29/2007 7:24:53 PM | Speaking from an older woman's point of view, I believe that this "medium" the internet has forever changed how we "couple" .
I personally believe that men and women today expect way to much, way to fast. Neither experience the "dance" of getting to know a new person in their life. With web cams and mics, I believe that at the convient "click" of the mouse, a living breathing human beings thoughts, feelings and are gone in an instant.
And, yes I think when an adult man, who has never commited, but has a wandering eye, it is definately a "red flag". Many men out there have no idea how to form a relationship, never mind maintain one. | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 9/30/2007 12:42:08 PM | "As far as the one night stands, short term flings, most were from when he was 20 in college and what boy has not gone through that stage?"
Not necessarily. At the time of my graduation from polytech after 5 years of various college, my total was zero, from a "personal style" choice. My first was at age 26. I've been with five women in my life. At 32, my total was two women. Of those, one was my late wife who I met at age 38, one we experimented with as a meaningful relationship for a month or two at age 35 but it didn't work out.
So, at 32, I had never been in a meaningful relationship. But it wasn't a red flag. It meant that I hadn't found the right person yet.
But the guy in the original question is raising the rest of the red flags. The lack of a relationship by 32 wasn't one of them. | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 10/1/2007 12:30:23 PM | What i want to know, is this really a post about the guy who does this things, or women who only date idiots and can always come out the victim or some sort of women doing thing? Im not condone this guy or these actions, i think moving along is the best, but what made you think there was going to be a difference, if you knew this stuff and went for it, now you want to know if theres red flags, did you not see them before hand?
I think this should be put back to direct at the women that only like men they can "change", or that prove a big "challenge" or whatever you want to call it.
I cant be the only person who gets tired of hearing women bitch about dead beat men that everyone can see is doing stuff thats blatently wrong, but what do i know in another week its going to be all men. (Its like peoples rules of online dating, you see lots but dont sleep with none, its a great theory, but it sure isn't practiced when you see all the people complain that the person only wanted one thing, if they only wanted one thing, it was probably given up easy, they wouldn't waste too much time just to chase a piece would they?) | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:08:35 PM | | I think that you need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you have a problem with his behaviour. If he still looks at women after that, then I think that he is being disrespectful. Why would your partner deliberately do something that bothers you? | |
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| The Wandering Eye
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:23:58 AM | My ex once said the only time I have to worry, is the day he stops looking... I asked why? and he replied, cause he'll be dead. after I stopped laughing I thought about it and can honestly say it never bothered me that he looked. Personally I am more attracted to men that are natural flirts, I guess it has something to do with his self confidence that appeals to me.
As for not having a long-term relationship hmmm, well I certainly wouldn't get my hopes up on this guy being the one for me. as the other posters said, I guess it depends what you are looking for though, if a casual no strings kinda relationship is suitable then this fella might be great, however if you're wanting a committed relationship you may want to look elsewhere. | |
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