| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/7/2007 9:09:24 PM | I'd love to find a woman who could accept a non-traditional gender role. With my situation I think it is to be lot in life to be the 'Mr.Mom' while she is the primary income for the family.
I don't mind cooking, cleaning, laundry, cutting the grass or whatever needs doin'. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/7/2007 10:35:22 PM | Wow. People still assigning chores by genitalia?
Woa. I cook, clean, change oil, cut grass, (well actually I have taken to hiring someone to do that now.) pay bills, fix things or make them from scratch, do laundry and tell jokes.
I expect any one over the age of 16 to be able to do the same. It’s everyday survival skills, not rocket science for goodness sakes. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/7/2007 10:49:04 PM | | guys that cook and clean are the sexiest guys alive! This guy I'm seeing is pretty much an alpha male type in a lot of ways ... especially in that he he's extremely good looking and works on the rigs. HOWEVER he keeps his apartment almost spotless it's so awesome going over there and finding everything all clean and tidy and knowing he did it... and that he's not some slob. And while he prefers other people to cook for him one time him and I made hot wings together and they turned out to be better than the "wing king" of pubs make them here. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:21:00 PM | Sadly, statistics say that women still do most of the cleaning and cooking in the typical household.
Me? I like my power tools. Nothing like carving stuff up, fixing things, doing a bit of decorating. I can cook, had lots of practice as a child.
And for the time being I earn more than my SO.
Men tend to do the big clean, like all day Saturday, and I think women do more of the constant pick-up. You can have the 6 hours of steam cleaning and I'll stick to groceries & dinner.
Deal. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 2:24:59 AM | I don't believe in gender roles. I have been married twice and in both marriages I did 99% of the cooking, washing, cleaning etc, and yes my partners helped with the lawn mowing.
The Gender Role is an anachronism from a bygone age. I believe that in a relationship, ie, Family, If it needs to be done? whoever is not doing anything should be able to do it. Isn't that what "Sharing a Life" really means?
Now as a single parent? I am more than capable. A friend once told me that if I were a woman, he would marry me. I politely declined his offer.
I should mention that my last partner is suffering from a debilitating Psychiatric illness that eventually caused her to leave us. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 4:27:51 AM |
Feminism gave us nothing...
except false promises and then pain and suffering.
I am traditional, all the way, but this has more to do with how men and women relate to each other and their children than who does what chore. Cooking and cleaning etc. should be done out of love whoever does it. As far as who works and who doesn't has to be considered in light of the unjust employment and tax system we are under which at it's root is an attack on the family.
Even if a woman wanted to stay home and take care of her children in most cases she is forced to work just to make ends meet. So it becomes almost impossible to be traditional even if you wanted to be. Couples, have to sit down and decide just how poor they can afford to be and still spend as much time as needed with the children.
The good thing is that children don't care how poor they are beyond the necessities but they really care how much time they spend with their parents. With sacrifice and humility things can be worked out. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 4:43:59 AM | Chefd4u - Msg1
As long as it's working, great.
I think however that we are still 2 or 4 generations away from this being an accepted situation. When the world can think in terms of "people/people" instead of gender based roles, many things will be easier to navigate.
Of course, I'm still a little bitter over the way mine turned out. If things go south down the road gender reverts to traditional expectations and little attention is given to the roles played by each partner.
Would I do it again? in a heart beat.
Would I require a pre-nup? Probably not.
my 2 cents,
weelamm. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 6:14:44 AM | I think the traditional values from the 50's to the 80's are long gone....
I love to cook, and have heard that i am very good at it.....as well as baking.....mmmmm homemade cherry cheese cake........
But when your out looking for your perfect partner, all of this comes into effect.....
Although I must do laundry, as there is nobody else to do it.....washing, drying.....I could do that on a regular basis.....FOLDING....I hate, and I would hope that she would take over in that department.......
Its about sharing responsibilities, and in my example....i will fold if necessary but you have to be in compliance or assisting to your partners needs.....I will cook, if you do laundry, I will clean bathroom, if you mow the lawn......setting jobs amongst yourselves is good....and although they aren't carved in stone, sometimes you can assist in each others likes and dislikes........
And i don't believe that there are female jobs, or male jobs.....they are couple jobs, or if your single.....its your your job  | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 6:32:54 AM | it is funny I am a guy and although I do not like to clean, per say... I am a big fan and good at the cooking and baking aspect of it!
most of the women I have dated in the past have enjoyed that aspect of me!
so most people are ok with cooking and cleaning... but what about women making more $ than thier partner? now that is really non traditional who is good with that?
how many guys would be stay at home dads? | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 6:46:11 AM | | A guy cooking may have been considered an "untraditional gender role" up until sometime in the last century circa 1975, but not nowadays. Back when I was married, I cooked a fair share of the meals. We were both good cooks. And since I'm single, I do all my own chores, laundry, ironing, cleaning... so I would think that's appealing to a woman who'd like to know that her guy doesn't need a maid. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 7:01:15 AM | clean and cook if she works for me (brings the money home). Dont expect good food or cleaning either, they're not my specialty
Seriously, I know how to do it all. From sewing to ironing to cooking to fixing cars to house repairs . HVAC, electricity, plumbing- you name it. I always was married to a confident woman that cleaned and cooked but I volonteered a lot to help out around the house even though I was the one bringing the money home. Besides, I am not a slob, I am considerate and disciplined. You can call me a team player because this is how I view life....(bees and ants are my models) - In terms of functionality and finances, our relationships were very stable.
It's a matter of loving. When you love, there is no need to ask, you volunteer, you lend a hand, to reach out, and you receive without asking. That's the harmony of a good relationship that nowadays seem to have lost its flavor.
I am stronger physically then my wife (dont have one but suppose) , should I be cutting the garlic or should I be working on my engine? Common sense.
Now suppose that a man cooks and clean, what would females pitch in in the relationship? | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 7:30:24 AM | I think the biggest issue is money. As in whose making it. Traditional and old fashioned thinking says that it should be the man. Necessity is another matter. In this day and age dual incomes are pretty much essential.
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 7:42:44 AM | In Canada, a national poll (or was it a study) showed that 30% of two parent households had the woman/wife as the breadwinner (brought home more dough).
So, I think "Untraditional" gender roles are already beginning to change.
Now men doing housework and cooking is not considered untraditional anymore, it is pretty much accepted and required to a certain degree. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 7:56:30 AM | | Never threatened by a woman who wants to learn or has the ability to do what has been known as "man's" work. Rather than suppress their attitude, one should encourage the other to learn anything if thats what their preference is. As far as domestic chores goes, i can pretty much do everything, once again it boils down to knowledge, it doesn't hurt to know too much... | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 8:57:36 AM | threatened by a woman that I can send out to fix the car???? You have to be kidding.. lol It is only fair that she gets to bust her knuckles and burn her fingers as many times as I do.. lol
Actually.. For about 6 years while I was rehabbing from a serious back injury, my ex and my roles were reversed from what is referred to as the "traditional" lifestyle. She worked while I took care of the kids and the house and the cooking. I grew up in a house with 6 women and my father wasn't around much so I kind of got stuck learning HOW to cook and clean and sew and all those neat little things.. lol I can say this.. those skills have come in very handy. Not to mention, I have impressed a few dates with my skills in the kitchen. So nothing wrong with it in my opinion. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 9:48:31 AM | I find it very sad that these men and women in our collective history who worked so hard and sacrificed so much of their lives so that women could be declared 'persons', and have some say in how the collective was shaped here, are treated with such disrespect and outright loathing by people here.
Read your history, get some sense of the shaping of your cultural realities people.
And then maybe make a trip to some of these sites that pay tribute to the socil activists from the past who have lessened some of our slavery, and apologise to these 'feminists', who were male and female btw.
Get educated about your collective past and you may have some say over your collective future. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 9:51:19 AM | | the only thing I'll debate on is "I CUT the grass!!!" hahha..I love doing yard work ;) he wants to do the dishes or whatever suits his fancy, be my guest ;) Relationships that 50/50 down the entire path sure make life easier anyways. | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 10:17:50 AM | Interesting,
I can do it all. I do, do it all. I can cook better than most women I know. Speaking of that, I have had several women tell me recently and I quote, "I don't cook" Wow, so if we were a couple and I lost both arms in a freak lawnmower accident while cutting the grass, we would starve?
Seriously people. We do what we must to get along and get by. I think most men prefer a woman who is still a domestic godess. All the ones I talk to anyway. Do most women still prefer a man who can fix things and do all the heavy, hard, dirty work? Most of the ones I talk to do.
Those ancient and "outmoded" gender roles were developed for reasons that had little to do with one party being superior or inferior to the other. I have seen both men and women use the "gender equality" thing as an excuse for being lazy. That said, I would rather do my own cooking, I think I am pretty darn good at it. As far as cleaning goes, I can do it, but I hate it, especially putting the laundry away.
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 10:30:37 AM |
What's your take on untraditional gender roles, ladies are you threatened by a guy who will clean house or cook. Guys are you threatened by a woman that mows the lawn or changes her own oil?
Intimidated? Heavens NO. Would that work for me?? Absolutely not. JMO  | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 10:53:07 AM |
Do most women still prefer a man who can fix things and do all the heavy, hard, dirty work? Most of the ones I talk to do.
Very good question..and I have to say ..YES ;) | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 11:53:41 AM | Seems like you doing all the inside work and him doing all the outside work (or vice verse) IS fair, and that's only, really, if you're both working the same hours outside the home. Why would you kick his ass out? Marriage is a negotiated and consensual partnership. Equal doesn't mean same-same.
Maybe it's cuz I've been there/done that, but I wonder at these tough-ass female attitudes...is it appealing? In any way? Men? Enquiring minds want to know.... | |
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| Untraditional gender roles, can you handle it?
Posted: 1/11/2007 11:59:50 AM |
I expect nothing less than a man who equally takes part in chores around the house both inside and out. I'd be kicking his ass out damn quick if he expected me to do all the inside work and him all the outside. Fair is fair.
Seems like you doing all the inside work and him doing all the outside work (or vice verse) IS fair, and that's only, really, if you're both working the same hours outside the home. Why would you kick his ass out? Marriage is a negotiated and consensual partnership. Equal doesn't mean same-same.
Maybe it's cuz I've been there/done that, but I wonder at these tough-ass female attitudes...is it appealing? In any way? Men? Enquiring minds want to know.... | |
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