| Unrequited Love
Posted: 3/28/2008 3:29:53 PM | ... where to start!!! I will appologise in advance for rambling. I have been attracted to a colleague for about 6 years now and as I have worked with that person I used to get feelings that they liked me too. We met in a supermarket and I kicked myself for not being more assertive (they are kinda shy - I think). Not long ago I asked them if they had a partner , they said that they didn't have anyone special at the moment then.... Silence..... I felt sooo uncomfortable and embarrased. Since then I've pretended that nothing has happened and try to act like I dont fancy him. Unfortunately I still see him now and again I wish I didn't have to as every time I do,my heart leaps and I go all shakey.......... perhaps I need to get out more :)
Sorry for rambling - just had to get that out .... phew
thats better
until next time I see him | |
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| Unrequited Love
Posted: 3/28/2008 4:05:01 PM | There is no single answer.
If both people don't feel the chemistry what can you do, even though you would do anything for the other person.
However a recent survey showed that the partners who stayed the longest where ones that did not like each other at the beginning (either looks, personality or both), but as time passed they grew to like each other. These partners have the strongest bond.
The other scenario is that you are madly in love and over time you realise there was not substance to it.
So just go with the flow. If one of you can not take the emotions then take some space and time out for a while
Mohan | |
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| Unrequited Love
Posted: 3/28/2008 4:07:49 PM | ^^^ awwwwww.. poor you that's dreadful
I read something completely silly the other day and it said basically "If you can't stop thinking daily about someone then perhaps you should make it become a reality" - words to that effect but I am horribly aware that I might be encouraging a stalker in their stalking.
You are never going to know how the object of your desires feels until you confront them with your desire for them.
Word of warning though...I speak from the experience of being stalked...if they tell you to get lost and fvck off, it would be a good idea to do as requested unless you would like to end up before the courts.
ooooooh unrequited love is a **stard, so you either walk away and keep your sanity, or you come to terms with his feeling an(d stay friends, what other choice is there, what you do not do is declare your feelings or become obsessive, then you lose friendship which is still love in a way, just not romantic love.....
....or you become obsessed with a female you know nothing about but understand she is a threat to your (supposedly..platonic friendship with another) and blame her for your lack of attractiveness and whatever else....oh yes..having a personality. | |
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| Unrequited Love
Posted: 3/28/2008 4:13:35 PM | | lisg007, you have not yet been rejected. Sounds like he does not even know when you asked about a partner that you liked him. So far he has admitted he is single, so why not flirt a little with him | |
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| Unrequited Love
Posted: 3/28/2008 4:23:03 PM | Yes, been there once. Totally head over heels for a particular girl.
But she did not feel the same.
One of the worst feelings there is. | |
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| Unrequited Love
Posted: 3/30/2008 2:24:43 PM | Ah theres nothing worse!! i really think that alot of it boils down to the fact that you always want what you cant have. Once you realise you cant have it, you dwell on it and then all your insecurities creep in and you think you are not good enough for anyone..Before you know it you have this person built up in your mind to be a bloody hero, you forget that they are who they are...
I always thank god for unanswered prayers cos if i was with a couple of men that i wished to be, my life would be pretty bloody miserable now!
I wouldnt stress over it, just believe there is someone wayyyyyyyyyy better coming your way... | |
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| Unrequited Love
Posted: 3/30/2008 2:32:21 PM | kind of going through something like this right now and it's sh1te to be honest..
like someone above said, the insecurities are the worst aspect..i'm not good enough, i'm too this or not enough of that etc...
and yep, i've also done the 'building them up' thing...
then there's the aftermath..no one else seems to compare to 'the one' you couldn't have..
mine wasn't a friendship to begin with, we just knew each other from a long time ago, so i guess the question of whether a friendship could survive isn't really applicable to my situation...and throw in the fact that he probably thinks i'm a psychotic fruitloop, i doubt the hand of friendship would be forthcoming lol
just thought of another aspect that makes this particular situation rubbish too..
because it's unrequited, it was never really a 'proper' relationship...yet you still feel upset and saddened by it...i suppose the loss is more 'what could have been' rather than 'what was' and as such you don't get a healthy slice of reality or sh1t bits that put it into perspective...also, it makes you feel like a freak to be so upset about someone who couldn't give a flying fig about you...in short, you don't feel like you should feel so sad over something that never was, but you still do.. | |
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| Unrequited Love
Posted: 3/30/2008 2:50:51 PM | | I've had to cut the ties. It was getting too painful and doing me no good. What hurts most is the lies I was willing to believe just to keep him in my life. After having had a 3 year relationship, friendship was never going to be enough. And this weekend was one lie too many. | |
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