| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:56:18 PM | Because we know what we want and expect and they may not have any idea or their expectations may be different from ours...some cannot handle honesty..and you are better off not knowing them then...will save you the heartache later on k? it is tough to take things slow too.. I know how you feel. | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:00:24 PM | if a guy truly like you then you'll never scare them off..i think that you are
 in below your belt... aim higher, we are out there.xxxxxxxx | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:08:19 PM | i've been single for 4 yrs. my x wife made my life very bad.. it's
the same for us blokes too.. we can get hurt.. i'm an honest lad, i
work hard but have no play time, it's been like this for yrs but now
willing to try... meet someone new, i know its tough... trying to
believe someone u dont even know when the one u thought you did
let you down so much, but if i can do it.. anyone can.. heart- ache,it's
great for dieting, great for eyeball detox...but it's a pain no-one likes..
we have to go on and try.. love is magical, it's up to us to make it work.x | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:13:56 PM | all the sudden you are getting advice from older people......they are giving you "OLDER PEOPLE" advice........YOU.....need to be your age.....not in a hurry......believe me, you have a long way to go, to find a man 'your age' that wants...." a long term " commitment from a dating site profile. You need to be 'out there'.....ya know....I am woman.......and please.....put a main picture of yourself with a smile......you are pretty......your main picture shows me....Oh please....I am a good person ......love me......UPBEAT. ( you look like you are asking for pity )
You are far too young & cute to look like that. | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:39:49 PM | Maybe he's just not that into you. Wouldn't you rather know in advance that he's not the right man for you, then to be involved in a relationship for many years and find out you wasted your time?
I appreciate it more when a women tells it like it is. Why waste time. Even if your attracted to him/her it's better to find out one way or the other.
Please remember we are men...sometimes we don't pick up on the signals like we should. Sometimes we need to know right up front. It might scare the krap out of some of us, but let me just say...some of us (like me ....lol) would prefer to have a map for some of the signal women give out. Lets stop playing "games" and tell it like it is. (both men and women) if your interested just say so. Life would be so much easier.  | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 1/5/2007 9:09:04 PM |
Can someone tell me how to scare them off FASTER? .....just KIDDING
Send them an up close photo of a chimp's butt and ask them if they like "Hairy women."
Sorry.... feeling unusually silly tonight. 
-IPB | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 1/5/2007 9:23:07 PM | | danni have to be butt honest.so many folks read so,many things into life.shame on ya all .way i see it is go head strong,if it works so be it,if not,run head away.a new door opens,everyday.if you walk softy,you get walked on,walk with good feet... | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/25/2007 8:55:22 PM | | the only thing that scares me is the five point exploding heart move from kill bill....if you dont know the five point exploding heart move from kill bill you could tell me anything...but thats just me...... | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/25/2007 9:09:53 PM |
You should read "why men love ****es"
cuz its true, they really do.
That book was a total waste of trees. I read it and I want a refund on my time wasted on reading it.
If you want a good book from a mans point of view read Love Smart by Dr. Phil. It is enlightening. | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 4:30:12 AM | Oh, good----one more thread where men are scared of "real women" because we're weak, intimidated, fearful of relationships, we're ALL out for only one thing and of course are liars, players or otherwise worthless!! LOL
First off I'd say there's nothing wrong with being honest BUT there is such a thing as timing----as in when you are this "honest" with someone. If you want to think of a guy who does get freaked out about your revelations when you barely know him then I'm afraid that's YOUR problem. Such a reaction is very honest even if you don't care for how it's carried out----he's simply saying you are scary for being so quick to jump that far ahead so early. Here in the Forums you can read story after story of people who profess to love someone after one date, during a few weeks of emails/chatting or the dreaded text messaging. The consensus in those threads are usually the one making the claim is somehow a bit wacky and should be dumped or at least kept distant---this is no different really.
Any sane, well adjusted person who IS looking for a LTR or something close probably feels just as eager as you to move things forward faster BUT the difference might be that they hold back just a bit. We've all felt the rush of infatuation and have probably also felt that huge let down when we begin discovering things about them that turn out to be deal breakers. If some people want to take a bit more time getting to know another that's not a bad thing---them feeling uneasy because someone is "too honest" by expressing certain things too quickly IS not so good.
There is a good time for everything----and it's NOT always as soon as you have their attention!! | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 4:43:15 AM | Bingo! I have just lived this thread. I have got to learn to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes it is better to wait then to spew off everything I think and feel. I have just caused a major earthquake in a very special relationship due to my own insecurties. I hope I will be around for the aftermath. Sad, to say, I need more patience and learn to relax more.
fiesty | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 5:15:14 AM | I am older yes . 40 gonna be 41 . scarring men off .  IF , she "just " e-mails me yes that will scare me off . meet me . spend time with me .  GET YOUR LAZY BUTT TO WORK .  Am I one to scare off easy NO . if , you are in another state yes . I live in wisconsin . yes . I know . it gets cold here . well , men need woman for heat . woman chase men . snow is easy to track men .  you won't find me getting drunk or smoking . however YOU find me . next to you . doing things together . something I have missed . | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 5:23:02 AM | Omg...i do this lol. But i guess its because i an open honest and caring person. Im a hopeless romantic too and when i see something i want i just go for it. I just am not the type of person who buys into the whole dating rules and strategies it just feels like too much of a game for me. Sometimes you just know right away and sometimes you don't. The moment i feel something i'm gonna tell you (wether its good or bad lol). Aparently this scares people. So they stick to following "the rules" or some book they read or what their friends tell them for fear of being hurt. But if you play it safe all the time and never take risk how will you ever really get what you want.
"Must be exaughsting to loose your own game"-Evanescence | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 5:27:57 AM | | Sounds like you have some major issues ( emotional problems) op. You should consider therapy. If you continue like this your just going to complicate your life and waste your time. being totally honest is what you should be doing and you seem to have reality messed up. You will never find anyone that way, cept people to bring massive trouble to your life. | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 5:45:51 AM | I got a few lessons early on. DON’T GET TOO EXCITED TOO FAST.
- first girl I got a crush on - she was married using me to heat her up then - she would go off to the shower with her B.O.B
- second girl died and I had no idea she was even ill
And *NO* most guys don’t love WITCHES. Well maybe the youngins do. | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 9:10:45 AM | | You tell someone you like them too soon, or at the wrong time, you will give them the wrong impression. They could feel it's really the wrong time and think you are kind of obsessive. I wait until the time is right and I've been seeing the person for a few months. I usually do this after we've had a really nice evening together if I feel the need. | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 9:15:40 AM | | Have you ever seen the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"? Those are some common mistakes women make that scare guys off. Don't make your move too soon. | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 1:35:11 PM | Hey there
Men aren't scared off, only BOYS are lol
No seriously, i think some women can be a little intense when they like a guy, men pick up on it and think yikes. However, i think this can happen in reverse, i find overpowering men quite scary and tend to back off
I think honesty is the best policy, if you like someone tell them, if he runs he's not worth worrying about and its best to forget him
If a man's into you he won't run in a hurry, unless you do something major
So stop worrying girls you won't get rid of Mr rite that easily | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 3:04:38 PM | | I had a / have a / had a/ have a / not really sure, but anyway a FWB who I thought was more. Once I realised that was what he thought I told him exactly how I felt - total honesty! He was totally honest back. Met him in a pub recently and he said to his mate while I was there - 'this girl is one in a million, one of the most honest I have ever met'. Now hey, could say it scared him off, but it got things straight and he appreciated it. What's the point of not being straight? Of course there is always timing in it, no point in saying to someone you have never met I am only looking for this, you have to actually know the person first, but once you do, why play games? We only play game when there is only going to be one winner and a relationship isn't about winners and losers! | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 3:12:46 PM | If you are truly your own person, and you are happy with who you are, then if someone runs it is not because you 'ran them off' with something you did or said. Everything is not about you, that's one thing so many people need to learn.
When the relationship is right, nothing can make either party run but themselves. | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 3:23:40 PM | Scary, well we all have those war stories:
Having been on my own for a while and enjoying the freedom that entails Ive found my own space and solitude but at the same time really don't WANT TO BE ALONE!
she really has to be extremely special if she wants to be a most pleasant upheavel to my world and as time goes by and I met those who are brave enough to at least talk I feel more and more as if that ONE doesn't exist. | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 3:35:10 PM | I'm a proponent of being open and honest. I say what I think and feel, when I think and feel it (with a heavy dose of common sense thrown in).
This approach has worked well for me. For one thing, it helped tease out the men who weren't on the same page as me. If a man isn't as into you as you are into him, isn't it best to find that out NOW rather than waste more time on him?
My current partner and I expressed our interest in each other as it developed----which was quickly. We were on the same page. We still are. 
The trick, Danni, is to find someone who is on the same page as you. Yes, this is easier said than done---but it's well worth it, once it happens!
One word of caution: desperation is not appealing in either men or women. Ask yourself (and close friends) if you are projecting this odour. If so, do some self-healing before heading into the dating world. Self-respect and self-confidence are necessary to attract a healthy partner. | |
|
| scaring off men why do we do it?
Posted: 3/26/2007 3:39:19 PM | Me heap big man not fraid of scary woman talk ! Me chase bear me hunt tiger me do laundry !
So me not fraid of women talking. Birds chatter too and I no fraid of WOMEN and their big scary talk.
------------------
Disclaimer. The above message was done in full loincloth and sarcastic headress.
Bring on the scary talk !  | |
|
| |
Home
login 
