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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/10/2007 7:34:53 PM | I think "head games" should be renamed to "heart games"............
because every head case that plays these on me or other people HURT THE HEART....they mess with your head and your heart........making you believe that they are better, break up.....back together.....break up....back together.........they are indecisive people who have no clue what they want........or know what they are doing in order to feel superior over you........
There are a lot of women out there that play these stupid games, as well I have heard men are good at playing them............. | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/10/2007 8:45:56 PM | | Right then. What they mean is:Don't muck with my mind,Mister Man! Lies,Tom foolery,leading them on,taking them out and spending the entire date checking out every woman in the room but her,getting pouty when she isn't in the mood(yeah,man,no means no),and deliberately not returning her calls(or getting pissy when she calls you just to hear your voice),and about a million other nasty,annoying little habits we men have,but don't seem to be aware of.......THAT'S what headgames are! Best advice you'll ever get....let her know she's the center of your universe,but that you can still function on your own. Got to go to work. Good luck. | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/13/2007 12:56:25 AM | " Head games " ( all the dirty, little, stupid tricks that people do ) all stem from one fear :
The fear of getting the ego bruised if you were to reveal too much of your honest emotions and feelings to someone.
So, we do all the stupid little things :
- Pretend that we're " calm, cool, collected " and " not too enamoured" when we really are
- Do the stupid " jealousy games ", such as dropping a name of a guy or pretending that you are going out with a " friend " to see how he reacts ( bc people believe that jealousy is an indication of someone's deepening interest ).
- Follow stupid " Sex and the City " rules like don't call within 3 days and so forth when you get the number.
- Appear " busy " and " having the time of your life with your friends ", that you could not possibly squeeze him into the schedule......but all you really want to do is be with him.
The GIST of the stupid game is basically to appear calm, cool, collected and " not-so-enamoured " so that in any case it ends, you have your ego intact. It gets bruised but you save face...bc who likes rejection and the fear of losing ? | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/13/2007 7:09:28 AM | "Head games" are not necessarily bad. In order to play good "head game", it requires a lot of self control and alert consciousness.
Saying what women want to hear is like giving them candy. In response they reward you with what you want also. In a way this can be seen as a win-win situation. Some women know that guys are playing "head games" but enjoy it.
At the end of the day if the "head game" is played to a level where no one's severly harmed (physically or mentally), then it may be the stimulation or driving force of a relationship. | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/13/2007 7:17:52 AM | never saw a post where i agreed with so many answers (lol)
everyone does play games/headgames to a certain extent-
it's really not the "game" but the "intent" that causes the problem.
there's the "innocent player"
if you flirt, banter, debate (etc.) those are games-they're harmless and fun. both people, if done with respect, can walk away feeling okay about themselves and the other person.
or the "inadvertent player"
sometimes it's possible to hurt someone and not mean to-
you talk, flirt, banter, debate, (etc.) get emotionally (and sometimes even physically) involved, then your life changes..you get busy, lose interest or say or do something you didn't mean to or didn't understand would effect the other person so strongly (it's sometimes impossible to know everybody else's "triggers," "issues," "baggage" and so on).
you remain an "innocent/inadvertent player" when you realize it and you say, "opps, my bad" and end it. it becomes a headgame when you don't want to let go of "what you have in your hand" until you have something to replace it with regardless of the best interest of the other person or the impact it will have on them. or when you walk away without explaining to to the other person, what happened. people, grow up..if you're that worried about what the other person will do/say-write them an email, explain-if you hurt them and they say so, validate them-tell you didn't mean to and you're sorry (omg WOULD that be SO hard?) and allow them to feel (if not at first, at least somewhere down the line) that they weren't "played". and if they argue or get irate, block 'em or report 'em-sticks and stones will hurt your bones but words will never hurt you.
then there are the amateur "players"..they go into it with an intent.
all of this is (or becomes) an ego ride, to see how many hearts/minds/bodies they can collect. to "hone" their skills, the thrill of the hunt-whatever or;
it's a field to play out their own personal form of "an eye for an eye". something was done to them so they go out and prove they can do it to someone else-so if they can't strike out at the one that hurt, deceived, left (etc.) them, at least they can have the "feeling" of it-even if it's against some innocent bystander.
and finally, the "pro player"
the con artists, the sexual addicts..i'm sure everyone can elaborate and add a term along here-i think as adults we've probably all met, or been the victim of one. they want something and they really don't care how they get it or who suffers for it or for how long.
they're dangerous, and unscrupulous and pretty much do it as a "hobby" or a profession-but they're fairly easy to see, they'll be the one that's on site after site after site looking for prey year after year after year (if you're around that long). they're incapable of a "real" relationship because they have no emotions, no empathy, no feelings.
so i think everyone's right-the OP (if married for 24 years) surely engaged in headgames to an extent and if his profession is as stated definately does so the post starts out as one-OR maybe (just maybe) having only been exposed to "professional" headgames (marketing, sales, etc.) or the "headgames" of only one spouse/significant other, IS actually looking for information on how to recognize a different species of headgames.
and one or more of the other posts are on it too..we are all responsible for what we allow ourselves to get into-knowingly or unknowingly. if it's knowingly, well, maybe it's time to look at your issues and get help. if you do what you've always done, you're going to get what you've always got. believe it-it won't change unless you do
and if it's unknowingly-pay attention to what happened-not when you're emotional, but when you can be rational. look at the other person but look really good at yourself, too. the trick would be to recognize it, and get out of it as soon as possible and make note-if it was by accident-how "not" to go there again.
unfortunately, this often creates one of the following:
-what the next man/woman will call "baggage" (another day, another post)
-a new generation of "game player" (see above-an eye for an eye)
-or someone who throws their hands up in the air and says "i'm outta here" and it takes forever to get them to try again.
can you prevent it-probably not. no matter how smart you are, there's someone smarter. no matter how many times it happens, there's always a new "species" you have seen yet-kind of like being a kid going to school for the first time..a new "virus" you have to become "immune" to, but always a new one somewhere down the line...
so what do you do? if it happens, be hurt for awhile-even "run away" from it all for awhile and then let it go-karma will take care of the other person, you don't need to worry about it-trust it, believe it..put on your big girl/boy panties and deal with it and get on with it
your life's a journey, not a destination. the destination is the end. | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/13/2007 10:52:46 AM | Saying you're looking for a LTR then date 3 others at the same time. Not saying EXACTLY what you want in a profile, dishonesty, lies, trying to be the perfect mate but hiding who you really are. Asking to meet someone's children when you are not serious about them.
It all come's down to being honest about your feelings, desires and motives. | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/13/2007 11:00:22 AM | Is it really possible that a person doesn't understand this term? I think he just wanted a way to create an interesting thread lol. Or maybe he wanted some good "donts" of dating. Either way, kudos to you, Sir! | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/14/2007 1:46:25 AM | Threads that make you go "DUHHH"? What do you think it means? Women do the same shit!
How would you feel if........ | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/14/2007 2:24:26 AM | i can actually directly translate some of the mind games that come from the females. oooohhhhh, they look really nice..... (hes gonna crack and buy it for me, even though im not his girlfriend, he just cant bear to see me unhappy) what? where am i going? SOMEWHERE! thats where. (however im obliged to say where im going everytime). naaaaahhhhh, i dont wanna go out. (people will think we are an item). are you going to the store? (your gonna buy me chocolate and 2 pink donuts without me even asking, aintcha?). hey, will you help me with my computer? the wireless card aint working. (this means that, as if 3 days of silence and indulgence didnt happen, and im just breaking the ice that i wont admit i created, so you will feed and stroke me for the entire day. yet again). wow, where did you go for the entire day, your looking very sharp and happy, eh? (im entitled to know who you been seeing, because that person could seriously reduce my pampering, also, i dont have to tell you about my f**k buddy, that you know im seeing. etc etc. blah blah...... and im not even your girlfriend! you get my drift.   | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/14/2007 4:00:40 PM | So if you guys are right, and the OP was being disingenuous by even asking this question in the first place, does that mean the OP was actually playing head games with us by posting this?!?
My brain hurts. | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/16/2007 1:28:41 AM | As someone who has that in there profile, I will attempt to explain it. It basically means:
- I'm not into people who lie.
- I'm not into people who cheat.
- I want someone who isn't going to say they like me just to get some action.
- I want someone who is going to be honest with me even if the situation is awkward. | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/16/2007 2:17:29 AM | | I don't call it head games, I think of it as someone is not secure enough with themselves to be honest. Usually ends up being not honest with you so you think, but they really are not honest with themselves. Insecure! | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:38:26 AM | The only head game that i know i play is i like to get peoples amgination going mainly do it to get them to have a laugh but dont do it all the time.
Wouldnt want to do any other mind games as have had mine played about with enough so wouldnt want to do it to others  
Once ive broken up with someone i move on as they had there chance . .Best thing i find is stay single lot less hassle and alot more fun only down side is can be a bit lonley but hay thats part of life | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:53:26 AM | | I have had woman e-mail " I want a guy who will not play head games " after 3rdor 4 e-mail bam . they are gone . THIS , is what I want . I live in wisconsin the fox cities . and am 40 . OK . next on list . The woman who wants to be with me . I be with her . First comes meeting . she says " hey he's good looking . " bext forget about my frontal pic . I don't ahve one . OK next after we have met . went places with each other . and , she has asked me to move in THEN , the fun takes off . Ladies , I have feelings and so do other men so , don't think that teasing us will get you anywheres . IT WON'T . | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:56:55 AM | | This is exactly why I am not dating anyone right now. I don't play well with others, especially when it comes to headgames. Haven't met anyone who lives close enough to me to date. May have to just broaden my geographical horizon soon. Just here for the forums at the moment. | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/22/2007 5:12:37 AM | All interpersonal relationships are a game of some sort.
You can either curse playing the games.
Or, you can learn to play them well, to win. | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:11:50 AM | | Women are good at head games, they do and say stuff just to get what they want from guys, and when they're bored with one they move on to other guys | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:37:52 AM | Gosh, I've gone cross-eyed reading all these responses to the 'Headgames' question. I'm so hoping I haven't been doing that, but if so, may I explain? One question asked of me in the initial contact (the first email) is "What do you think of my picture?" or "Are you interested?" How can I possibly answer those questions from either of those two sentences? So you respond, and they seem nice, then you agree to meet, because dragging it out would be like pulling teeth without an anaesthetic - so you meet, and you're not at all attracted to him, not in the slightest - but now you're in the middle of something, and he's pulled out all his stops - i.e. - he's freshly shaved with only a few little pieces of toilet paper dotted around his ears and chin, he only got lost twice and you had to go and find him, he doesn't drink (and his profile said 'socially') - he doesn't smoke and hates smokers, (but he supposedly read your profile - EVERY WORD but missed that part that states you are a smoker!) - so then the first meeting is going swimmingly for him, but you are drowning. Then he wants to see you again because he feels you are 'totally compatible' - well, hell, POF matched us up! GTFOH! Now, I'm still trying to be nice and not hurt his feelings, so I say something pathetically banal, such as "Oh, yes, friends sounds good, we can do that!" "Sure, you can call!" - Can this be construed as 'headgames'? Should I say up front, "This is not going well" - and run the risk of hurting his feelings? My Dad always told me, "Never say NO to a man who asks you to dance, because it took him a lot to get up the courage to ask, and it's only a dance!" I'm finding myself in a terrible quandary trying not to hurt feelings and balancing on the edge of egos, maybe coming dangerously close to 'headgames' - AM I? Toni | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:56:05 AM |
Saying what women want to hear is like giving them candy. In response they reward you with what you want also.
Yes but kicking a guy square in the nads when it becomes evident that he DIDN"T MEAN the words "women want to hear"-ooooh! That's BETTER than candy!!
At the end of the day if the "head game" is played to a level where no one's severly harmed (physically or mentally), then it may be the stimulation or driving force of a relationship.
I've heard some illogical, unsubstantiated and down right stupid statements in these forums, but the above quite takes the grand prize for being all 3!
If I have to engage in "head games" to keep a relationship going, I think I'll pass.
Understand that I do not regard good communication, and participating in the "give and take" and straightforward negotiations that are necessary in a HEALTHY relationship,as "head games". But as time goes on I begin to suspect that there are so few men out there anymore who are capable of distinguishing" head games" from the real thing,that I for one have come to see looking for a relationship as more like playing bingo, buying lottery tickets,etc;99% entertainment with that 1% chance of hitting the "jackpot" of a realistic and healthy longterm relationship.
Cindy O | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:56:18 AM | Interesting Topic!
I would describe the term "Head Games" as;
Behaviour in which a juvenile & very immature person dilibrately & maliciously uses physical and verbal communication to convey/relay a mixed-message to the recipient.
This childish & dishonest behaviour makes it very difficult (as it makes the recipient think twice!) before responding. AKA: Head Games.
Head Games can be viewed as a form of Bullying.
Solution: Just walk away. Better yet, Run! 
Everyone deserves (and should EXPECT to!) be treated with Respect & Kindness.  | |
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| Someone explain what headgames are?
Posted: 1/22/2007 11:05:52 AM | Craz-D, you've captured the absurdity of this 'discussion.' Behaving like the other person does not like is a 'headgame,' according to these weepers. The fact is, you're entitled to reveal or conceal just as much as you want to, to misunderstand, to be misunderstood, and even to disappear if that suits you. Just because someone else gets their little feelings hurt doesn't mean you necessarily did anything wrong.
The childish view to the contrary assumes you already have a position, a view, an intention, a set of feelings you are feeling right now, and it demands that you share all of this, or else you are playing head games. Nonsense! You may not know what you think of someone, and you may decide you don't want to bother figuring it out, but just move on. So move on. You don't owe anyone anything that you have not actually promised them.
This headgame nonsense arises, I think, from a common confusion. Many people think their preferences set some kind of standard for the world at large to follow. No such thing. They also think that ordinary selfishness in others is -what? - no fair, I suppose. It's too bad we don't hear too often that wise old cliché from John Lyly's 'Euphues' (1578), "All's fair in love and war." These poor things who don't protect themselves, who expect to be coddled by perfect strangers, will take it in the neck every time. It's their own fault.
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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