| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 1/22/2007 7:00:37 AM | I love it when a woman contacts me first...
or I would love it if it ever finally happens....
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 1/22/2007 6:49:04 PM | | I always found if a woman contacts you do the right thing and return the message. Since i am a newbie and still trying to figure out the protocol, what harm is it to say thanx for the message. I have been insanely busy the last two weeks, even staying in most of last weekend to catch up, but i still try to make time to return messages. Now that i have finally wound down i can spend more time getting a kick out of the posts on the forums. Some real funny stuff on here. | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 2/25/2007 9:37:12 AM | well again, thought I would give it a shot and contacted the man first....
It took me all day to think of something witty and charming to say....okay,
a day and half.....so I send off this cute little question.........
Two days later I get a reply to question...NO.
Yes, the beginning of a long lasting relationship,.......
I'll try again next week.... | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 2/25/2007 9:52:28 AM | But at least you got a reply even though a NO.
We usually just see unread deleted LOL.
Life goes on. | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 2/25/2007 10:23:11 AM |
see unread deleted
I didn't see that^^^ till after the reply.....
so I suppose your right...have to give the guy credit for at least replying....
Since there is always a bright side to everything....(even though sometimes we have
to really look hard)......at least he can't say I am not "friendly"....
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 2/27/2007 2:33:04 AM | I make a point of trying to answer all of my e-mails... not that I get an overwhelming flood of them or anything...
I do mention this experience of mine though... because I think it important to the thread.
You will forgive me for being vague... but it is to protect the innocent. Quite some time ago, I was leaving a POF function... And as I was leaving, there was several pof'ers out for a smoke, along with others who were leaving, and some just out chatting with the smokers.
I chatted with a few... and during a conversation that had several people involved, that conversation sort of broke up... and I said hello to one of the ladies involved in that conversation... she had made several comments I found interesting, which drew my attention to her. When I introduced myself, she said that she had sent me an e-mail to which I had never responded. To the best of my knowledge, I never recieved it. Unfortunately for me, it was too late.
I don't know what what I.. or any of us could do differently... but be aware the server does loose the odd one...
And since we are on the subject of e-mail.. I am as aware as anyone of the read/deleted... or even the occasional dreaded unread/deleted. I don't like them... but at least the meaning is easy to interpret.. (Server errors not withstanding)...
But what the heck do you do when you send someone an e-mail and they read it... and it sits there?
Now, I understand some are busy... So I usually wait a week.. or a bit longer... and send a follow up... but what do you do when that one is read... and just sits there... Ladies, I could use some help interpreting that one...
thanks in advance...
T_M | |
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TRYN
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Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 82 | |
| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 2/27/2007 2:48:26 AM | The messages that just sit there......I don't have an answer. I assume their thinking about the pros and cons of answering! lol
Another one that bothers me.......I was talking to someone for a while on here, we had great conversations and never seemed to run out of things to say. All of a sudden....he stops reading my mail to him! "Unread"...sits there staring at me when he has been online many times after I've sent it. What's up?? Is he just waiting for the thirty days to go by so it will delete itself?? Why not tell me that a)he's met someone, in which case I would wish him luck, or b) has decided to end our conversations, again, just say so.
It all comes back to being honest and straight forward....speak your mind. | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 2/27/2007 4:21:59 AM |
But what the heck do you do when you send someone an e-mail and they read it... and it sits there?
Actually, I have trouble with this one as well. When I receive an email from someone and
I read their profile and view their picture and for whatever reason don't feel a "warmth"....
I never know what to say.....and have been guilty of letting it sit ...while I am thinking on what to say.....eventually I do try and reply with something...
I certainly know what it feels like on the other end to send someone an email and they
read/delete (no reply), or unread/delete, or never read or read and no reply...... | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 2/27/2007 9:30:44 AM | Well, I gotta say i have replied to every e-mail sent me and alot were only to comment on my stunning[lol] profile, have a great search and a great life...bye. I certainly appreciate them letting me know we're not quite the match but i understand your points of view.These comments let me know where they're at.
So many women's profiles are so vague that it seems that 96% are looking for comedians or clowns cause they all need someone to make them...laugh...If only it was that simple....duh...I interpret this a someone already the needy one?..Ladies tell me you can be so funny, you'll make me double over in laughter.Challenge me to an evening of wit and i'm in....lol.
I feel it is rude not to reply ,unless their looking for something stranger than i've seen.Then we all know the options we have from there.No severe risk here guys.....be polite...it could be a virgin contact after years of being single...don't just let them hang and affirm that most us are insensitive. We are all here seeking happiness of some sort I hope so anyways,so lets play nice | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 2/27/2007 11:03:06 AM | but what do you do when that one is read... and just sits there... Ladies, I could use some help interpreting that one...
I'm with Katkats on this one. It may be that we just don't feel the "warmth" after checking out the person's profile. And we're not sure how to say "no thanks" without doing damage... so we wait and think on it. Having said that... this isn't necessarily the case with everyone. Some may just like to respond at another time when they can put more thought into it. If they don't ever respond... they may be bombarded with mail, forgetful or just hoping the situation will go away.
I will admit that I have received some canned messages that were so obviously a shotgun attempt to get a response, that I felt it just didn't merit one. | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 4/6/2007 8:42:13 PM |  Not uncommon in a lot of countries for the ladies to make the first move ( south America / but then again most of them are worn torn and the women to men ratio is four to one ( Nicaragua ) . The response time on this sight is about the same ? why is that , may be the photo is the problem or the typing skills ? If you find out let me know ! | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:23:11 PM | | The sad truth is that most of the guys on here will agree that it feels as though they are doing all the work. That females essentially just sit back and watch as their inbox fills up all while the guy does all the searching. Is this true?? Perhaps. But, it has been my experience that when writing a guy,he does not respond. I still try every now and again if I come across a profile that catches my attention. I don't know if they were just uninterested or figure I am "damaged goods" to have to be contacting them first. I guess some guys don't mind and others don't like it. But, it's true I have written guys first and I don't have a very good response average as far as that goes..... | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/21/2008 7:02:42 AM | I too have contacted several men and there again they read and then delete without a thanks or no thanks in reply.
I myself reply to the few emails I do receive if only to say thanks for viewing my profile but I don't think we have anything in common.
To me this is respect.
Just my 2 cents worth.  | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/21/2008 7:25:28 AM | A guy contacts me with a wonderful paragraph about how his dad loved his father so much, every night when he came home he swept her off her feet and planted a kiss on her lips. He went on to say that was what he wished for a relationship like that.
A few thoughful contacts later, after reading his profile and replying about his interests,he starts in with the sexual induendo's.
Here I am wanting to get to know the guy, thinking he might be honest and trustworthy, states he's a professional, a BA in Anthopology, my inquiring and anaylical mind gettting to know him and all he wants to do is talk about sex. Obviously he didn't read my profile
No wonder the girls on here don't want to contact men, but I would like to think that there are a few honest men out there in the same boat. | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/21/2008 8:45:59 AM | Here I am wanting to get to know the guy, thinking he might be honest and trustworthy, states he's a professional, a BA in Anthopology, my inquiring and analytical mind getting to know him and all he wants to do is talk about sex.
I guess he did not read the fine print that once people get their degree that they are suppose to be honest and trustworthy. Mind you who said he was not, you found out what his true interests were. Years ago I was out on the town and I found myself in the company of two women. They seemed to find me entertaining until they found out I worked in a factory. It was like a switch was turned off and they lost interest in me. I am sure now that I became educated my company might be of more value to them.
I find it odd hearing about guys talking about sex with women on a dating site. It must work sometimes otherwise they would catch on they are doing something wrong. I once asked a woman I was talking to online what made her decide to continue talking to me. She said I was the only guy that contacted her that never brought up sex.
Since it was brought up she asked me why I have not asked about it yet. I said that I never had a problem with sex and women that I have been with so it really was not an issue that needed to be dealt with at this time. I was more concerned with finding a woman that I would enjoy being with when we were not messing about. Sex is easy, faking interest in someone you are with is hard.
I have always answered emails I received from women. I even replied no thanks to the guy that hinted at activities that were not in my nature. I rarely contact women because if I find something in their profile that caught my eye I am sure a hundred other guys have emailed her previously. I some take this dating thing more seriously but I take the attitude if life wanted me to meet someone it will throw her in front of me. Now why am I still single? | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/21/2008 8:47:00 AM | sweet babyblues - evidently we are talking with the same guys! LOL. It appears those in the early 50 - late 40 category are looking for younger women (they simply don't get it do they?) I have had so many read and deleted messages I stopped counting. But... still  | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:29:40 AM | Printer there is nothing wrong with working in a factory. It's not the job that makes the man, it's the way they think, the way they work and the way they play, and the way they have values.
I'm not university educated, my choice, but I'm not a dumb blonde either.
SmartAlex I hear you, we must attract the same men. | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:50:20 AM | Sweetbabyblues...
I think you must be in the minority in your thinking, at least among women on this site. And in this case, I think that is a great thing
I have never actually parsed the numbers, but I think it would be fair to say that more than half of the profiles written by women in the dating or long term categories actually state in the laundry list "must be professional".
Of the other half there is still a high incidence of comment relating to specifically what the man does for a living.
For a great many men, "professional" or not, this will leave them with "a bad taste in thier mouth" and will pass the profile by. I tend to be one of them. I am not my "job", I just use it to pay the bills.
Granted, I find some of the projects that I work on stimulating, fun, and they will occupy a part of my mind most of the time, even when I am not consciously thinking about them.
But regardless of what I am working on at the moment, it is not going to make me care any less for the lady I would be with.
Ladies such as yourself who are actually looking to find out about the person are far more rare , too rare in my opinion.
T_M | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:07:40 AM | Well thank you Tin Man
Some women may ask what a man does for a living, because there are many out there that don't work and are looking for someone to look after them, and visa versa women.
My dad wore many hats until he decided to go back to school to get a trade, but that didn't stop him from working two and three jobs to support his family. No job was beneath him, and that's one of the values he instilled in me. He was a hard worker and had good values. | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:17:37 PM | Sweet little babyblues I kind of figured that the job was not necessarily the important thing with you by reading many of your posts. You just brought up one of my observations by your comment on thinking your BA contact was deeper than a mudpuddle because of his degree (and the other BS in his profile).
I resent the early 50 - late 40 category comment.  I am not looking for a younger babe, they are too demanding. I am looking for the older babes. 
I do look at profile in the same way as Tin Man. If I see a shopping list of qualities but no humour thrown in I take an immediate pass. A lot of women want the perfect man. It is a shame but there is no such thing.
I had an odd one lately. I sent a woman an email, she checked out my profile but never bothered to open the email. Well at least she checked out the profile. | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:54:03 PM | | It does seem there are a lot of women (I don't look at the guys profile so I don't know) judging from thier profiles who seem to be under that myth... | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/21/2008 2:26:31 PM | Tin Man
LOL I would hope you don't look at the male profiles.
But true enough there are older men that want women their own ages and some that can dream of the young ones, guess they feel that makes them young again.
They just don't get it, your only as young as you feel, and I'm forever young. | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:24:21 PM | | Printer - no offense to the comment about early 50's but... there are many of you that clearly state they are looking for slim trim women.... or "I'm a leg man" etc.. some of us work at it but just aren't born that way and won't get there. There is more to the package that seems on the surface. Just my observation.... though I can appreciate why we all have our likes and dislikes. | |
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| ladies contacting the guy
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:22:56 AM | Hmmmm I'm all for it, long as the lady is single ( although I could be convinced to get together if she's part of a couple & he knows about it, and I have proof he knows).
Btw, if any women ARE interested in contacting me ( 49, single, no dependents) I do have 2 different maid outfits... | |
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