dnash1
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Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 276 | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/26/2009 9:38:34 PM | | I emailed a woman once that unread deleted me. I checked who viewed me and she never even checked out my profile. I see her on all the time and she has a really detailed profile. I wonder how much luck she is having lol. At least I know it's not because she thinks I'm ugly lol. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/28/2009 6:54:51 AM | Grose, there is a setting whereby you can mask your viewing of other's profiles...
But I'm sure it wasn't because she thought you were ugly. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/28/2009 10:36:25 AM | | Thanks Wonder. I feel better knowing that. Not that I was losing any sleep over it, I think I might change my profile or something because I get that a a lot. most read and delete with out a response. My messages are not pushy. I talk a little bit about why I like their profile to let them know that I did read it and I try to keep it short. I don't know maybe I'm writing the wrong woman. Thanks again Wonder. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/1/2009 5:42:28 PM | Personally, I don't take it too serious. I'm a attractive guy and I understand that some women will not find me attractive and/or I physically (skin color, dress, appearance) aren't in their bag and that's cool.
I think it's usually a good i deal to consider who your audience is and tailoring your mails accordingly.
It seems that that some men and women on here forget that this is a dating website...and it should be considered a supplement to actually going out in the world and meeting people.
The ratio of guys to women is probably 4:1. I'd assume the average women receives at least 10 mails a day, most of which are undesirable.
Lest be honest though, no one on this website owes anything to anybody. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/1/2009 7:00:29 PM | | I got a new one. For me anyways. I wrote a woman that was just interested in Talk/Email. I figured It wouldn't hurt so I wrote a pretty long response and she read/deleted. I wasn't really attracted to her but she sounded cool and I might have met a new friend. The Question is, are woman with Talk/Email still looking for more. I could see then If I'm not her type. I was just curious about that one. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/1/2009 9:19:29 PM | | ^^^^^^I personally think most men and women want more than they are saying they are for the exact reason you just said. If I were looking to talk/email I wouldn't worry about what she looks like. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/3/2009 6:37:57 AM | | Grose, you seem fairly humble in the forums, so I can't imagine you are being too pushy. I guess it's just one of those things where you keep finding women who don't bother with responding unless you fit some preconceived notion of perfection, LOL. It does happen the other way too, and that's a shame. So many people are into the fast food approach, ie: instant gratification, that they don't take the time to share words with someone for a bit before deciding if they are compatible enough to meet for coffee. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/3/2009 9:41:35 AM | [Grose, you seem fairly humble in the forums]
Thanks Wonder. Yeah I wasn't pushy at all. So true about the fast food approach. I'm just trying trying to get to that first meeting so someone can really get to know me. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/16/2009 1:24:59 AM | The internet is a detached sort of medium. If people treat it accordingly, it's no drama. You don't know these people in real-life and if you did, they mightn't pique your interest anyway.
I understand the use of read/delete due to nasty reactions, no matter how nice one answers. People comment that you can block, but the horse has already bolted ie they got their satisfaction from spitting their venom.
They key is not to take it personal. Tailor the emails but keep them short to save wasting time in case it ends up getting ignored.
However I believe a reasonable effort should be responded to, as for a 1-liner or a copy/paste deal..that's up to the respondee.
IMO, read/delete seems preferable to raised expectations from seeing a full inbox, only to discover multitudes of "thanks but no thanks" replies.
POF should probably do away with the functionality altogether; it's just another source of aggravation for frustrated users to gripe about.
Alternatively, users can update their profiles stating a preference for a response (and have the maturity to handle it) or on the other hand, list the reasons why an email may not necessarily get a one. It can help minimise the nastiness. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/16/2009 1:37:17 PM | I write, so it's hard for me to NOT write something to peoples profiles that I find interesting. I mean, even to people I KNOW I'm not their cuppa.
Have a lot of read/deletes...
But, I'm not worried about it, too much. I know that I probably don't appeal to a lot of people. But, I'm looking for new friends and MAYBE someone speical, so, I'm all golden. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/25/2009 5:54:46 PM | I tried that one and a week later, he mailed me quite a nasty message saying "Well, if you're dating someone, how come you're still on here?!"
In my experience, if you reply to any e-mail of someone you don't fancy, they take it as a green light, no matter what you say or how nicely you try to say thanks but no thanks. If a guy doesn't reply to my e-mails, I assume he's not that into me and I move on no problem... What's with some of you? | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/31/2009 10:13:56 PM | | You know, I vowed that I would respond to everyone who sent me a message regardless if I thought there was a connection there or not and have truly tried to live up to that....but I was talking to my friends one night in a chat room and said, "How do you tell someone that you're not interested when you cannot find anything at all to comment on in their profile to let them down easy?" So we battered this around for a bit and came to a consensus that a none threatening way would be to say, thank you for your interest, but I have met someone and think we are going to give it a try. And you know what? Within three days of deciding to use that phrase someone responded to me with that exact same phrase! I cracked up! Touche! | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 6/1/2009 8:29:45 AM |
thank you for your interest, but I have met someone and think we are going to give it a try
If you are not presently getting better acquainted with someone, the above statement is a blatant lie. If any response/words on a computer screen annoy people that much, just use the delete/block button and say good riddance to the character.
Wonders how many have used the above response with the prerequisites that they are looking for honesty in a relationship?
Keep it real, and just respond truthfully. (Integrity is hard to find)
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 6/1/2009 10:47:50 AM | | I agree with you Passionate Gent (Even though I had said I decided to use that phrase)....after getting that response from someone and knowing it was a coined phrase I decided I'd rather hurt someones feelings for a moment with the truth, than to create a reoccuring hurt with a lie. Honesty is always the best policy. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 6/1/2009 11:17:29 AM | "Keep it real, and just respond truthfully. (Integrity is hard to find)"
Passion you hit the nail on the head. I will respond to every email I receive, and if they can't handle the truth, that is not my issue. Not everybody is going to be interested in everybody, it is as simple as that. If they get upset with something like that, they aren't a woman I want to be with in the first place. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 6/1/2009 4:46:04 PM | | It's too easy to get overwhelmed on here. I'll very rarely/never just delete without a response but sometimes it takes me a good long while to get back to people. I'm sure that seems rude to some but I made it a point to put a disclaimer stating such on my profile. If that's unacceptable, don't email me! | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:37:31 PM | COLD reply is better than silence....i can't stand it when that happens to me. I try pretty damn hard to make sure i am not being rude in anyway and still get no reply. Utterly rude people.
BUT the worst ones are the ones where you are having a great conversation back and forth on POF and then one days it stops, and no reply back, what the hell is that about?? | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 6/6/2009 4:09:36 PM | | I just use the read delete as a way of deleting the woman that delete my messages without a response.If they don't respond to my messe=age then there not interested in me... | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 6/15/2009 1:32:43 AM | I prefer a reply since I took the time to email them. All I get is the Read/Delete and also just Delete, so you know they browsed you but too lazy to even read.
I just chalk it up to that is why they are still single or divorced. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:06:10 PM | I think a cold response is more of a personal thing. Meaning you reacting to the response or taking it a cold or cool manner when maybe its not or wasn't meant that way.
I don't think I've ever on purpose deleted without responding unless I screwed up trying to make space in my email. And I DO try to go back and find the cache of it or at least email them and do the OOOPs. At times I'll read then go back later to respond. I use to do a quick jot of got your email was on the way out the door will respond when I get back annoyed some rofl..
I've only gone to the block point with 1 person. And that is only cause he became a abusive twit. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 6/18/2009 3:50:04 PM | | I cant stand the 'read/deleted' thing. Id rathter have the most scathing, cold response imaginable than nothing at all. I have no respect for someone who does a cop-out like that, since I know good and well that if I approached the same woman in public she wouldnt just turn her head and ignore me. It just goes to show that some people only use 'net dating because they have no social skills. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 6/18/2009 7:57:55 PM | I don't know. I think everyone deserves a response.. I switch my looking for from talk/email to friends and back. I'll always give a answer to a question. It may not be the one someone wants to hear, but they'll get one.
As far as response in public vs email. No the responses may not be the same, but, then you are going by physical perceptions along with other 'keys'. I spose it is directly going to depend on how well you read people.
I think being friends with someone is cool. If it leads to something else cool. And I HAVE made some terrific friends here. | |
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