| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 7/4/2009 6:42:22 AM | ahhhh....take it with a grain of salt......remember its their loss for not talking to you at least to say no thanks......especially if you wrote a respectful letter......remember some people get alot of mail and you know when you mail them and see 976 have added them to favorites you are taking a chance.......... do you really want to be involved with someone that does read/delete and doesnt answer you anyways, look at it this way they are doing you a favor and saving you from getting involved in their miserable lives.
what is worse is when they answer you once being ohhhhhh so sweet , you respond and then they do read/delete.......lol........ there is a reason why some people are alone. | |
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Sorg85
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Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 302 | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:07:17 AM | | Okay, I thought Read/Deleted was bad but Unread/Deleted is just wrong! If I took the time to write you a damn message, it is only right to at least open it! What a pile of _______! | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:15:35 AM | "Okay, I thought Read/Deleted was bad but Unread/Deleted is just wrong! If I took the time to write you a damn message, it is only right to at least open it! What a pile of _______! "
Just think about it this way. They probably saved you much wasted time on them even if they did reply to you. If they don't have the common courtesy to even read your not much less read and reply, they probably aren't worth your time anyways. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:54:31 AM | | That's why I don't let it bother me, and try and date the real way. Get some tenders and strike a conversation with someone I see in public. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:54:56 AM | Don't believe they really didn't read it ~ they can read it on their contacts list
What they're trying to convey is they're so in love with theirself that no one else can compare 
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:38:37 AM | Didn't take the time to read the entire thread, so if I'm being redundant I apologize in advance, but for all the people who moan about having so many messages that they don't bother to respond to even the well thought out ones, why not up the necessary character size in your mail settings and then let people know on your profile that you only respond to well thought out messages? Sure it doesn't save it from people who write short messages and fill them with junk, but at least you've got a deterrent there for people literally sending fishing e-mails to multiple people. Then you would have a little less mail, and could be courteous to people who didn't have to mail you anyway but were thoughtful enough to consider you worthy to contact; and those thoughtful people won't later turn into one of the spammers you so loathe flooding your mailboxes with junk because most were rude to them. If someone gets hostile about rejection, then block them.
This would also save a bunch of people whining about no responses, and other people whining about the whiners. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/1/2009 5:39:22 PM | A person shows their vulnerability by reaching out and sending a message to someone. It is common courtesy to take the time to give a response, whether it is no thanks, or a short note. I respond to all messages with a personal note, (even if it means answering over 200 of them). Each response will be different, depending on whether we have commonalities, or a physical attraction. If I am not interested, my responses would be more neutral and non-committal, never cold, or deleted and ignored, and I even offer to be pen pals. I might even offer advice to some, helping them re-write their profiles for better success, and wish them luck finding the perfect mate. I have had men say “no thanks” to me, and I take no offense. I appreciate them taking the time to look at my profile and to respond. If I don't get a response, then I figure either they did not read my message, and if they did, without the courtesy of a response, then they are not someone I would want to get to know. I appreciate honesty. I am not the type to write back questioning as to why I was not a match. I just move on. I mean what I say and say what I mean, but I do it politely in my responses. Everyone has their own ideas on what they are looking for in a mate, physical attraction, as well as other commonalities, and sometimes we deviate from that, but we pretty much stay the course. I think we should all engage in practicing common courtesy, and envision what it would be like, if the shoe was on the other foot, and you were not worthy of a response. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/1/2009 11:01:26 PM | There's real life, and then there's the internet. At least in my case, they are two completely different animals. In real life, I have never been turned down for a date, and, being who I am in real life, I am almost never shown discourtesy or dismissive disregard by a woman whom I'm paying any mind to. Thems just the facts of my existence in real life. Plain and simple. No more, no less.
The internet, however, is an entirely different story with me. Discourtesy and dismissive disregard from women I have paid any mind to has clearly, and by a very wide margin, been the rule, rather than the exception. And just as in real life, I'm not at all what anyone would think to categorize as a "troller". There's always a good reason (at least I've thought so) why I chose to respond to a particular ad. I have never chosen to waste my time or a woman's time by answering an ad where I didn't fit the criteria they've outlined, where I didn't think we shared interests in common from what they've written, or where I didn't have at least a good "hunch" that something might be there between us. I've always remained particular in this way.
When I have responded, I have always done so in a courteous, honest, thoughtful and playfully imaginative style that was both true to who I was as a person and a man, and engagingly interactive with how such a woman had presented herself in her ad, at least as best as I could possibly discern from it.
I soon came to the conclusion about a few things. First, my instincts in cyberspace are not nearly on a par with my instincts in real life. Second, women oftentimes don't portray themselves as they really are in the internet world, things I would instinctively pick up on in a real life situation, oftentimes in short order. Third, men, generally speaking, are a whole lot bolder and more out of character towards women in the impersonal world of the internet, and, so being, women get hit upon in the internet world far, far more than they ever do in real life, and far more discourteously and thoughtlessly so than in real life.
This last point cannot be understated, for it, far more than anything else, is the source of any frustration and disappointment I've allowed myself to feel from my experience in the internet world of attempting to personally engage the attentions of a woman. It both makes it harder to "breakthrough" to a woman who's been so inundated by the attentions of so many men, so many of those attentions carelessly conceived, and so often serves to dull and harden the sensitivities of these very same women.
For a man like me who runs into such dulled and hardened sensitivities in women whose ads I've responded to in my own manner, and who's been shown such discourteous disregard towards them a lot more often than not, it tends to dull and harden the very sensitivities within me that led me to reply to such ads in the first place. In short, there's a part of me that's now become like those men who give men like me a bad name in this internet world. I've reached the point where any such woman I might think to reply to her ad is now a cybercvnt until proven otherwise.
Sad, but true. I've adapted. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/4/2009 4:42:45 PM | Read/deleted is incredibly callous and disrespectful in my opinion (assuming the received email is polite of course and not obscene etc.) It's indicative of very poor character of the person in question in my opinion - i.e. callous/disrespectful/narcissistic. I would assume it is the kind of woman who regards herself as superior, a cut above and in different league to the messager, and is offended by the fact that how dare this guy message me (a **** in other words) who reacts to a perfectly polite message with the read/deleted response.
On the other hand it can be a bit nasty sending a thanks but no thanks, you're not my type response as well.
So all in all i feel the best and most sensitive way to handle a message from a person you're not interested in is simply to not respond , but not to delete either - this is disrespectful in my opinion, because on here you can see that the other person has deleted your message.
In any event I'm not sure what is to be gained by deleting messages - there's no limit on one's inbox as far as I am aware. Hence I have never deleted any incoming messages, don't see the point. | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/5/2009 1:45:52 AM | Sometimes I've wondered if the guy I'm messaging is in the closet????
Hard to say....
Edit: Odin, I clicked on your profile and I see you're in Scotland ~ you do know you have the best accent in the world, right?
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/5/2009 2:30:23 PM |
Sometimes I've wondered if the guy I'm messaging is in the closet????
Hard to say....
Edit: Odin, I clicked on your profile and I see you're in Scotland ~ you do know you have the best accent in the world, right?
So some say but it doesn't do you any good in the dating game when you live in Scotland | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/6/2009 2:39:21 PM | Hi Odin, it's me, Fleur
I can't imagine getting used to your accent but it would be fun to try! | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/25/2009 12:47:10 PM |
So some say but it doesn't do you any good in the dating game when you live in Scotland
Try living in rural Bulgaria then!!! Originally from Cumbria though! | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/25/2009 4:12:40 PM | Wow! thank you for visiting from so far SBC!!!
Hi again, Odin ~ just one Fleur here, Tarah and I are "just friends"
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/25/2009 4:36:34 PM | | Fluer takes great pleasure in keeping us all confused...... hell I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't confused...... | |
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| Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/25/2009 9:59:23 PM | The same thing has happened to Read and I with using each others computers, usually it is him on mine. Could be real interestingly funny if he posted the wrong thing. IE a total guy thing to say under my name.
I am feeling bad right now I have like three things in my inbox and I have read but not replied yet. I supose I should go do that now. I am a person that always replies even if it is a kiss my a$$.
I did have one that deleted his profile with in hours of sending me something. At first I thought it was Read in disquise, they both have the same first name.
I had another one this week that said he thought he had seen me at a store here in town and was going to ask me out but got interupted. When I looked at his profile I saw that he was looking for a casual thing and had no pic. So I kindly replied that I wasn't interested, but was curious what store and when, as I am new to the area and hadn't been to many stores. I also suggested that he send a pic as I might recognize him... I haven't heard a thing since.OH WELL!
Either way I always reply then delete after, if they want to get in touch with me again then they know how to get in touch... the ball is in their court.
BTW Mike ~welcome back | |
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