Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Washington  > Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 MikeAkaJB
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 351
Cold Responce vs. Read/DeletedPage 15 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
I dont know.. it seems asking where the hell is a bowling alley and talking about bowling is harassment? You better watch out !!! LOL hmm either way I think Im bored / tired of POF so Im just going to use it to read the forums and be glad Im still single because just trying to talk to people for random conversations is too much to ask it seems...

Jeesh I really do pity the people who actually try to actively date here seeing as it seems the vast majority of users actually lack regular interpersonal skills at all.. I mean someone asks you about your interest equals harassment... I wonder if they ask for restraining orders if you say hi to them in person LOL Of course this is excluding some of the people here in the forum they have been enjoyable.
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 352
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/25/2009 8:28:27 PM
You know, it could be she was in a foul mood because she just got back fom Honolulu and they tried kicking her off a bus for being smelly

 MikeAkaJB
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 353
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/25/2009 8:29:35 PM
She also could just be a racist and dont like asians?

Oh wait to get back on topic.. yes cold response is the best option.. Just block them if you arent an adult and cant handle being asked about your interests.. for that matter just delete your account now and save everyone the hassle LOL
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 354
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/25/2009 8:34:13 PM
You have to wonder with that kind of overreaction ~ takes all kinds

 newgalcece
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 355
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/28/2009 3:29:00 PM
Yes, and thank goodness there are all kinds. So when we are deleted by some jerk, there are plenty of other fish out there.
 isabella76
Joined: 9/15/2009
Msg: 356
view profile
History
Cold Response vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:27:44 PM
Then, there's the third type (women see this more than men) where you feel any response will wind up with you having to get a police escort to shake them off of you. (Nothing says "I love you" like a restraining order). Yeah, no response necessary, it's kind of like the homeless crazy guy who feels you would understand his situation and could sympathize with his plight against his alien overlords (is our tinfoil helmet on just a bit too tight?) so he buttonholes you on the bus. You just hope your silence will make them go away...

Thank you for mentioning this rust mouse. I tried being polite and doing the thanks no thanks, here's why I don't think we'd be compatible approach with 2 guys my first week on here and all they heard was "she wrote back, she must be interested, I'd better try harder to convince her we should go out!"
So now I'm part of the read and delete crowd. I don't think it makes me a rude person. Especially for the one line messages and bare bones profiles. I know my profile doesn't have a lot on it, but when I've contacted people, I took the time to point out a couple things we had in common and why I'd like to hear back from them.
Anyway there's my 3 or 4 cents worth.
 DashofRomance
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 357
Cold Response vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 11/13/2009 3:12:01 PM
In my opinion, it should be human nature to at least reply with a " No thanks" rather than not replying back at all. People only naturally feel connected with others when there's communication, even if it's not necessarily what they "wanted" to hear.

A non-reply I think is rude...kinda similar to what you experience in job searching.

Here is a solution that would help based on issues:

I understand that women get a ton of email, which a good portion of it isn't very well thought out..."You're hot", " Whad up?", " I liked your profile. Please write me back!" etc...

Solution - How about the site moderators/owner create an auto reply response to incoming email? Something as simple as "Sorry, not interested" would suffice or since people are often busy and can't necessarily reply back right away...instead of seeing "Read" with no reply, how about creating another response that says something like "Will respond back later"?

These are easy fixes to do and would be a welcome addition. It would be fast and easy and you wouldn't have to manually respond back to 50 people each day, just check mark the ones to send the auto replys to. Simple and easy!
 SeatownMatt
Joined: 9/13/2009
Msg: 358
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 11/13/2009 4:20:31 PM
I got an unread/deleted today from someone I wrote a really nice message to. Nice.
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 359
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 11/13/2009 4:45:43 PM
An 'unread/deleted' is about as cold a response there is

Not cool to treat others like their feelings don't matter ~ just have to consider the source, I guess

If it's a first message then that's not as bad as when someone who 'supposedly' likes you slams the door in your face and gives you the cold shoulder

Ah well... such is life
 keenosaabi
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 360
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/28/2009 4:41:34 PM
i figured this out today...

most long term relationships and friendship start out with a conversation.

if you base your read/deleted on poor quality pictures and a few words written in a profile, chances are you're missing out on something with potential.

i recently met a 25 y/o hottie i initially thought was a spammer. she contacted me, which isn't unusual for this age group (25 to 33) but she was local and had a well written profile and contact email. so i replied, more or less to find out when she would ask for money or personal information. we emailed weekly for a couple of months. then out of the blue she asked, "when are we going to meet?" i replied that i had saturday open and we made it a date for lunch. we ended up spending the day and most of the evening together. we had a great time. towards the end of the "date" she asked, why don't you have a girlfriend?

good question, it puzzles me daily.
 spokanepasco
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 361
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/29/2010 10:04:15 AM
Have you all ever encountered any people you been emailing lets say at the store, post office, driving, etc. in person??
 llmademoiselle
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 362
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/7/2010 6:57:51 PM
bubbles27 - true - being a total jerk is NEVER called for - but I definitely prefer a cold response than a read/deleted.
 firewallx
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 363
view profile
History
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/13/2012 2:54:49 AM
" and in fact many women's profiles say more about who they don't want messages from than about who they are. "

100% agreed.

I've looked at dozens of profiles (I'm new to PoF) and every single woman on here seems to think that she looks like a supermodel, with the personality of Betty White, the resources of the Queen of England, and intelligence of Kate Chopin.

And they *all* list what they don't want in a man (leaving of course, the only man available to them - which is the prince from Cinderella who has no personality - only a horse and him and a castle.)

I call it the Disney Dream syndrome.

100% of the women on PoF are looking for the prince that Disney told them will come and sweep them off their feet - when in fact that man never existed in the real world. And that man was created by several different people, in order to appeal to the vulnerabilities of every women (goes back thousands of years of human evolution - read evolutionary psychology.)

So while chicks in online dating sites rant about how they can't find their knight in shining armor - that man who in fact sent them a message, and whose message they deleted or didn't spend 10 seconds to reply, may likely have been the man of their real dreams - he just didn't have a cartoon horse and castle to post on his profile.
 vprtrl3
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 364
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/13/2012 1:03:42 PM
If a woman doesn't reply to my message I write them back what I think. A Lot of you women need to learn common courtesy. I take the time to read their profile and am generally interested. A simple reply back, even if not interested would be appreciated.
 Luke_Mason
Joined: 9/16/2011
Msg: 365
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/14/2012 8:31:35 AM
This is the real world, and I doubt if women have time to read and respond to dozens of messages everyday. And even if that's not the case no one is obligated to respond to a message. But just maybe an over-inflated ego leads some to believe they deserve a response regardless of the circumstances. If you don't get a response, just move on. And to those who send a message like "Hi" and expect a response back are just being silly.

Online Dating sites are just one of many tools available for people to find a companion for dating, but screaming at ones computer screen, and/or complaining when someone decides not to respond accomplishes nothing. Further messages seeking to find out why someone decided not to respond leads to unnecessary DRAMA.
 Thornz2000
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 366
view profile
History
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/19/2012 6:12:50 PM
You will always get emails from the ones your not interested in and no replys form the ones you are interested in.

Also remember, there is a TON of Serial Daters on this site as well.
 amore01
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 367
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/24/2012 7:57:00 PM
i will write back and say no thank you..however,when someone writes "hey mamasita, you are so fine and so am I" will get a big fat delete and block in my book.This makes me feel like it would be a waste of time to even say anything.
 Rich55ard
Joined: 2/5/2012
Msg: 368
view profile
History
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/18/2012 9:49:15 PM
Cold response,but then i don't practice what i preach
Show ALL Forums  > Washington  > Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted