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Show ALL Forums  > Washington  > Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted      Home login  
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 Beth102386
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 76
Cold Responce vs. Read/DeletedPage 4 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
I agree, it only takes a minute to reply, at least a thank you would be nice. More times than not, I dont get a response back. Can you really tell a person by there profile?
 leadfoot067
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 77
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/20/2007 4:59:36 PM
ive come to realise my life doesnt hinge on each e-mail i send out...i dont expect a response... if i get one than great..otherwise no worries ,theres more fish in the sea....
 Boomer437
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 78
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:45:38 PM
I my self would like to get a reply with a yea or nea if they would like to talk or not.. the ones that don't say hi back will never know what they might have missed out on
 susu_1wa
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 79
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Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/2/2007 8:18:10 PM
How about just a courteous response. No thank you works for me. Some people go as far as to say, Thanks, you have a lot to offer but . . . . . . and then give a plausible reason why the do not want to communicate. How about just having a little courtesy towards your fellow man or woman?
 SeattleArtist
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 80
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/3/2007 3:00:51 AM
Susu I dont think it would work out, regardless of how right you are and how rude it is not even to give a response, or a polite no thanks. I have gotten perhaps one or two in the last year or so, and I do thank them for being honest. Really you get used to it and you get the "message" so to speak if you dont have that wonderful sent program they have here that lets you know the status of the E-mail.


My question is: Why do some women, instead of burying the issue in a halfway decent manner by deleting message from ppl that dont spark their interest, instead just let the emails lay there and not take any sort of action on it? I got 3 messages in my outgoing box that is all "Read" all 3 of these women I felt a had a chance with.....I read their profile carefully and composed a message reflecting on the likes and wants etc. I wonder whats up with that?
 susu_1wa
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 81
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Posted: 9/3/2007 5:23:07 PM
My question is: Why do some women, instead of burying the issue in a halfway decent manner by deleting message from ppl that dont spark their interest, instead just let the emails lay there and not take any sort of action on it? Okay Again, maybe just way too much analysis of the whole rejection issue. As I have stated in other strings, there are a lot of reasons. Dating and being single is a risky business. Websites do not kick people off for rudeness or lack of consideration. Have you thought that perhaps the choices you are making in people you want to contact may not be what you thought they were after all. If they are quality people, are they not going to respond and be courteous? What types are you picking if they do not have basic, common, courtesy towards their fellow humans?
 Lotus_Flower
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 82
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/3/2007 5:38:46 PM
I sent a guy an email and gave him a compliment and he blocked me

What a winner
 bright2candle
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 83
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Posted: 9/3/2007 5:40:40 PM
Although I prefer getting a polite response, it's OK if I don't hear anything. Mostly because silence is one of the best communicators in the world, there isn't any need to guess so what does it matter if someone who isn't interested responds or not, the results are the same.

Kudos to all of you responding, especially when you give suggestions on what and how to say something that some readers might be uncomfortable with.
 coffeefourme
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 84
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Posted: 9/3/2007 8:24:02 PM
Right on darromeo, only it is not the women I have problems with. I must say, I have had a couple of people write back and be honest, such as they want to start a family....ect. I tried to e-mail you but I guess I dont meet the age requirment, such a shame, you are a dark romeo
 SeattleArtist
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 85
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/3/2007 10:52:23 PM
"Have you thought that perhaps the choices you are making in people you want to contact may not be what you thought they were after all. If they are quality people, are they not going to respond and be courteous? What types are you picking if they do not have basic, common, courtesy towards their fellow humans?"

well Susu you bring up a good point, this is internet dating and ppl can afford to be rude and mean on this net....far more cruel and mean than they would dare be in public or to someone else's face.

You say the internet is a Risky business, I cant disagree on that but sadly internet dating and dating period is Risky and we men risk our confidence and courage often to go and talk to a woman who we think is attractive. In public more or less I have found it much better compared to internet dating, even if women are blunt I would rather have than than no reply at all. However because POF is a risky but free venture, I do my best to "handicap" my first contacts as best as possible but going on common interests, goals, hobbies, faith etc. Thats pretty much the best you can do on this forum, and if they don't respond and their message status still says read and no contact is made, well, its really rude, least you can do is deleted it and be done with it.
 coffeefourme
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 86
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Posted: 9/4/2007 5:55:41 PM
Seattleartitst,
you have a good point, if they are not going to respond and be courteous, that says a lot about one's comon courtesy and how they really feel about others.
It is one thing to be blunt, but to be burtial is that nessecary?
 SeattleArtist
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 87
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/4/2007 8:01:16 PM
Well coffee for me that all depends on whether or not you want foreclosure. I come from the south and am used to having it said to my face, its just the way things are down there. Also I see so many people complain about these problems with internet dating that I do my best to meet these rather reasonable requests.
 groovalicious
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 88
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Posted: 9/5/2007 3:10:26 AM
It seems to me like the same things are being said over and over again in this thread... Most people seem to want a reply, but some people don't care because if the person doesn't reply (whether or not they deleted the message), the lack of interest is clear. I agree with the latter. The bottom line is, if someone does not reply to your message, they were not impressed enough by your message or your profile to respond to you. It doesn't really matter if they didn't like what you had to say, your pictures, age, etc. You know that they are not interested. Now, that said, personally, I like to get a reply back letting me know why they are not interested, but I don't expect this. A reply telling me that I'm not her type is useless unless it says specifically what she didn't like, so again, I just don't expect anyone to take the time to write that message unless they aren't getting very many emails and have nothing better to do. Why doesn't everyone just think of a no-reply (deleted or not) as someone telling you that they are not interested? Isn't that easy? Think of it like someone writing you back one line that says, "Sorry, but I'm not interested in you. Thanks." That's not negative and most likely the truth.
 peppy1um
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 89
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/8/2007 10:45:06 PM
This is actually sort of eye opening. I usually do not rely if I am not intereted at the get go...why you may ask? Because I have gotten such rude responses back.. Like "Fine...your loss not mine". Also, please do not respond to me and say you are not interested in me and then give the reason.. I would become way to self concious. I would actually rather you not respond to my emails, then I can pretend you never read it.....by the way I NEVER check to see if they got my email. I guess I like livin in my own little fantasy world.
 withesy
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 90
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Posted: 9/14/2007 1:01:09 PM
Lucky YOU!

Here's my take:

If I take the time to send someone an email, I would expect (manners?) to get a response of some sort. Thanks, but no thanks is a little harsh. I'd much prefer some one say, "Thanks for the email but I think I am looking for something else." Read/Deleted = "you're not worth my time"

I've gotten: thanks but no thanks, No match here (*which feels cold), Sorry but not interested (which sounds better again, to me anyway). This is one I REALLY hated:
Sorry, but I am taking a break from dating. WTF? you're on a dating site, and you sign in all of the time, and even updated your profile.

When I received my first "No match here", I was caught off guard. I asked the guy if he could give me some insight as to why he thought so. (He was a 99% match according to POF, but that's another story) He emailed back and said he didn't have the time to give me the info. I just wanted a "what was it that made you jump to the decision" perhaps, I am looking for a physically fit woman, or a woman with no kids", etc.... I emailed him again and explained I was new and could use a quick word on if there was something specific. What I got was a LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG email about everything that was wrong with my profile, what he didn't like about me, etc.....
so now I just don't ask. By the way, he seemed to be a bit of a hypocrit but again that's another story)

I am a bit on the larger size and admit it up front and I am sure that keeps some men away. That's ok. When I look at profiles I tend to look for people who are near my age, have similar interests, etc. If I see someone is "athletic" or into working out a lot I don't email. I always respond to every email but again I don't get 15 to 20 a day.......

Well, I've rambled on MUCH too long!

Carla
 peppy1um
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 91
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/14/2007 7:45:59 PM
Carla...number one if you are either one of those women in that picture you are giving guys the wrong impression from the get. You are not a "Large" woman. Sorry, but I had to say. What you see is definately not what others see.

Okay, now for the guys. I am really confused. After reading this forum, I thought wow, I better start replying instead of deleting. When I did that no matter how polite, thay send back the meanest reply. I mean "OUCH!" replies. I decided I am going to go back to not responding. I can not take the awful replies when precious ego has been damaged. It makes me know my first refusal was a good choice.
 SeattleArtist
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 92
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/14/2007 8:32:48 PM
Thats another think with this site, alot of immature and pick SOBs on this site. When ever I get an e-mail back saying thats but no thanks after making first contact, I always response with a thanks and a well wisher for being so thoughtful.
 peppy1um
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 93
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/14/2007 8:38:48 PM
Well you are a rare breed Seattle Artist, must be that southern biy in you!!!!!
 guurl4u
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 94
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/16/2007 11:51:33 PM
to peppy....
so what i usually do... if i respond with a "no thanx" ... i say " hello and thanx for the mail. however i am not interested at this time. but i really appreciate you responding to my ad. good luck god bless and happy " and 90% of the time i get no ill responces..... maybe it sounds like "its not you, its me" i dont know. but it doesnt sound evil, and its not to cut anyone down or bash... and im not going to go through a whole list of why im not interested, its simple... ... jus a thought
and my 2 cents
 peppy1um
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 95
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/22/2007 12:52:09 AM
Well, like I said, it does not matter how nice I am. It is the same. I did call them on it and say, things like hey, I don't think I deserved that. Sometimes they did come back and agree....but still....geeeez. Anyway, for all you out there if I do not respond that is why.
 Tregana
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 96
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Posted: 9/24/2007 6:30:34 PM
Ya know. I try to be polite if I am not interested. Even nice about it. You seem like a nice guy, I'm just don't believe that we would make a good match.

Or with the ones with nothing on their profiles.. I'll do a nudge of hey, how about doing your profile then we'll see if the conversation will continue.

If they are married or separated

Sorry, you are married/separated, which is the same in my book.

There is NO reason for someone to jump down someone elses throat about them writing.

If they don't take a hint block them. Simple way to deal with it.
 SeattleArtist
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 97
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 9/24/2007 7:45:21 PM
Tregana I used to think that too and generally still do but many women claim they have so many emails per day that replying and/or having someone be a****to them back really makes it hard for the ladies (and men sometimes) to do that, however a generic reply and if need be a block doesn't even take 10 seconds to do, its just the inconvenience of having to do it.
 Tregana
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 98
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Posted: 9/25/2007 5:24:37 PM
Yeah I can Understand it, I dunno maybe cause I have to deal with people from all over the world causes me to take the time. Heck, write a file, keep it on the puter with various responses and copy and paste a generic. grin.

We won't go into the email I get other spots than this place rofl..
 ImJustMeKevin
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 99
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Posted: 9/26/2007 7:04:23 PM
I'm actually THRILLED when I get a thanks but no thanks LOL. Renews my faith in some peoples humanity and generally I will respond back with a sincere thank you for the very nice reply good luck fishing!!! Or something along those lines. Oh here's one for you, I emailed a gal who was new to the site, as soon as I hit the Send button I get "This user has blocked you........." Oooooooooookay what that was all about I have no idea LOL!!!!!

Kevin
 Tregana
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 100
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Posted: 9/27/2007 5:14:12 AM
Sometimes I think people block accidentally, (ok thats my story and I'm keeping to it) cause they aren't sure how or what things do. But, I guess if they want to block thats fine too.
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