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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 7/20/2007 8:31:36 PM | | Well someone did date me when I was separated. I never went back to my ex. But I guess I could have waited 3 more weeks. I was just so done....... | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 7/20/2007 8:39:59 PM | | Go ahead and date him. Would you date someone who broke up with their girlfriend? The only difference is a piece of paper. Separated does not = Married. Separated=Separated. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:18:14 PM | | I am sorry, but I disagree with tony3124. When you date someone who broke up with their girlfriend, there is no responsibility to her. When you break up with a wife, she gets half of what you are worth and if there are children, you are responsible for them. You can not just say, Good luck and have a nice life. Its okay to date a separated person, as long as you both know what you are in for. However, what if you now decide to get married. That person has to get divorced first. Going through the hell of a messy divorce can take years, lots of money and ruin your relationship. And don't say that my Ex would never do that. Once lawyers get a hold of them, they may change their minds. It is okay to have a casual relationship with a separated person or even be friends. If you want the freedom of falling in love with someone, then make sure that final piece of paper is signed first, so that you know what you are getting yourself into. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 7/22/2007 2:04:03 AM | Usually when a woman decides to end a relationship/marriage....its after much consideration and a final decision. She normally does not consider going back. She has tried everything to make the former relationship workable. She's done and ready to move on with her life.
Where as a man might leave for a control issue, to get his way in some regard, over another woman who has his attention and that relationship goes down the tube or his wife/girlfriend just had enough of him and booted his but.........and he still has baggage to deal with and is unstable. His ego will drive him to try to gain the upper hand and get his ex to take him back. IMO | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 7/22/2007 5:48:26 AM | well, I have been separated for...over 5 years...close to 10 yrs...(which sounds more favorable?), for various reasons. None of which are real reasons (or mine), just more good excuses, now that I was able to openly access my situation recently.
I contemplated checking single or divorced...but thought it more honest to go with the separated and yet...unless they read this post or actually get past fears, prejudices and/or precautions to PM me, it stands as checked.
Hmmm...dilemma.
I wonder if legally separated, in my case, still means cheating?  | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 307 | |
| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 7/22/2007 6:12:58 AM | (3 words said very quickly in a childlike voice......)
DON"TDOIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
I broke my golden rule and did it....................again, DON"TDOIT!!!!
I'll tell you what my ex boyfriend(but still a close friend) told me when I was separated.............."GET SH1T FREE, and then let's see......"
Damn he was smart and I love him for it!
again, listen to me (of course, you're gonna do what you want)
DON"TDOIT!!! | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:44:04 PM | To all those that say seperation is not final, my ex is now engaged to her new boyfriend, bit soon maybe but that's upto her, she said she will pay for the divorce as she has got plenty of cash and it's her that needs it so they can marry, do you belive me now when I say we "ARE NOT GETTING BACK TOGETHER" and to be honest I don't want her back, seriously life is far less complicated without her lol..................................... | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 9/19/2007 12:01:37 AM | ^^ point in case
When someone is over it....and I mean OVER IT, you dont CARE what the other one thinks or does. None of that stuff even matters.
Been there twice with a separated person and exactly the same problems came up. He and therfore anything to do with we (in both cases) was affected by her actions, demands, opinions and in one case emotional blackmail.
The wives were jealous on both occasions. And the guy flattered by that?
No. They hadnt let go.
Nup. Nup. Nup. Never again. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 9/19/2007 12:34:15 PM | | yes even if his male and i was older, but wud u want a girl to date u if u was seperated i see every situation as put u in that persistion wud u wanna b singled out, no course u would not, so dont others | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 12/30/2007 10:34:21 PM | Hmmm this is a 'what type of situation is it' scenario. For instance, in my case I am seperated because the state law requires us to be physically 'separated' for 1 year before we divorce because we have kids together.
Now he is engaged to be married to another lady. I have met her and I know they are engaged, so do my kids.
Anyways, it all depends I guess. I would definitely let a guy that I was dating know the details of the separation. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:22:17 AM | I don't agree I am separated from my Husband and cannot afford to get divorced.
I will never get back with him (ever) and if everyone thought the same as you I would never meet anyone again until I can afford the divorce. Just because people get divorced it does not mean they would not get back with their X. Its how the person feels inside. A piece of paper confirming a divorce does not make any diference. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:27:35 AM | No. "Separated" is "married" and I do not date married women. There are those who have all kinds of "reasons" for not getting a divorce - it costs too much; I have to stay on his/her insurance; we don't want to put the kids through it - but the bottom line is that it's like pregnancy: you either are married or you are not married. And there is always the chance of that ugly encounter with the "separated" partner. I had one.
Nope. Won't happen. Get divorced and then let's talk. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:27:09 PM | | I dated when I was just seperated but I was pregnant when my husband walked out and where I was from I couldn't get a divorce till the baby was born so my divorce took like 7 months, So for me I guess it would depend on the circumstance for me. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:42:19 PM | Many of the responses seem to have the understanding of "separated" as one who can't stay with their partner anymore, got a place of their own, and haven't filed for divorce yet (or plan to).
But, there is another group of "separated" folks who have moved out and filed for divorce, but the divorce process has taken a year or more.
To those of you who have said that there is no way that you'd date a separated guy, do you see a distinction at all?
I find it interesting that some would consider dating a person who has been divorced for 6 months, but not a guy who has been separated for over a year waiting for the lawyers to make the deal final. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:52:11 PM | | I would never date a separated man. He is still married after all. I wouldn't do it because there is a chance that they might make it work and i'd be left out in the cold. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:05:15 PM | | Well, I will say I have dated 2 people that have been seperated and cut it off with both of them because of that reason. Even though both said they are done with them, I couldn't get past the fact that they were not divorced. If you're done with someone, then finish it completely, get a divorce and move on. I'm sure there are many resons why some are not divorced, but I would say this may definitely cause some conflict when dating. | |
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naeco
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 320 | |
| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:11:05 PM | ANYBODY who has an ex is "separated". The only difference is the one who used to be married has paperwork that has to go through the courts.
Who would you REALLY rather date, someone who was married for 5 years, has been separated for over a year, and is a couple of months away from the final divorce, or someone who has been with someone else for 10 years, broke up with them 2 months ago, but they have no legal divorce to go through? | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:14:16 PM | | I have been "legally separated" for 18 months but "separated" for almost 2 years and I considered myself single as soon as I walked out the door.....the marriage was over 2 years before that and I had tried everything in my power to fix things. So "separated" to me means on your way to a divorce.....now "trial separation" is something totally different and would mean still married in my opinion. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 1/3/2008 1:01:35 AM | I agree with you! You shouldnt have to be in that situation of dating and letting your heart go to a man who is not yet going to divorce his wife.
If he really wants you he will find a way to get the money and trully divorce his wife. If he really cares about your feelings about this he will do it with this in consideration too.
Its hard when u r emotionaly involved but its the right thing to do!!!! | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:44:46 AM | | that sounds like total bs to me,divorce can be inexpensive, gets more expensive depending on assets. but most lawyers have payment plans..so when someone says they will do it when they get enough money is surely just blowing in the wind.. | |
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TWU
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Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 325 | |
| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 1/3/2008 12:51:53 PM | no no no no...never.
I do not date separated men.
I do not date recently divorced men.
They aren't ready for what I'm ready for.
If you can't afford a divorce, then you don't have your finances prioritized.....you can date, but you can't get the divorce? Take care of things that need to be taken care of. Close the one book before picking up another... the person you date deserves that.
When I was separated, I did date. But, I wasn't looking for anything long-term. I was trying to get back some self esteem after an abusive relationship. I just wanted to be happy and take my mind off the horrible marriage/divorce. But, they knew that. I also had a long-term relationship immediately after my divorce was final. I was actually ready for a serious relationship. Turns out he wasn't.
I may be wrong, but I've experienced this a couple of times. I think men, IF they have been in a long relationship/marriage, really need some time living alone to adjust and find themselves....women too. I was only married for a couple of years, not super long, and not so early that I never lived on my own. It makes you much stronger and sure of yourself when you learn who you are on your own without being part of one long relationship into another. | |
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