| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 3/4/2009 6:58:02 AM | You can easily be broken hearted by a man who leaves you to get back with his ex girlfriend just as easily as a man who is separated to get back with his wife. Relationships end for sooo many reasons. Aw Heck! You could end a relationship with him because he leaves the toilet sit up all the time..lol
Seriously though...
Outside relationships should be irrelevant. If both individuals involved grow with eachother, love eachother, and want to make their relationship work then all other outside voices will be over ruled. They will work on making the relationship tight!
When a person gets too wrapped up with outer influences those thoughts interfere and cloud their judgment. If you have an opportunity to enjoy time with a person you like then go for it! Take it for what it is at the moment... An enjoyable lunch or dinner or walk .. Yes it's nice to day dream.. but worrying about your future with that person in the early stages of courtship prevents you from opening your heart, from truly being yourself and letting love in!
"better to have loved and lost than never loved at all"
who knows.. you may be the person that motivates him to finally follow through with the divorce.
Best Wishes Op! | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 3/4/2009 12:16:03 PM | So even if the guy you're dating is a genuinely nice bloke, really attractive and you really hit it off, even if he shows absolutely no signs of wanting to go back to his "ex" because she nearly destroyed every inch of his being, even if the only thing tying him emotionally to his previous is the wedding paper, no matter how nice the man is...You lot are saying you wouldn't go anywhere near him?
What hope is there for a bloke like me if womens attitudes are like this? | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 3/4/2009 3:05:24 PM | How is only one person's heart on the line here? It really seems that the underlying opinion here is that this 'so called separated' guy is really just trying to get some tail behind his wife's back.
I'm sure that guy exists, but that's not really what we are talking about.
If someone IS separated, that means he is AVAILABLE. Sure, there are situations where people get back together with their ex... but it doesn't have anything to do with marriage necessarily. There are, actually quite a few people who marry the same person twice.
There's really no more chance of anything, unless you are talking about someone who became separated, like, YESTERDAY. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 3/4/2009 3:37:02 PM | | well I live in ireland and its not quite so simple - to get a divorce here you have to have been living apart for 4 out of the 5 years previous to the date of application. We hadnt shared a room since 2004 and he moved out in may 07 - then because of finances - back in (spare room again of course) and out for good in July 08. We still talk cause we are raising our granddaughter but we will never get back together. So why pay money we cant afford for a separation till we can apply for a divorce as it is amicable at the moment. i had a brief relationship last year which didnt work out because of distance but i know i am most definitely 'emotionally divorced' and am ready to move on - a piece of paper is no guarantee for anything. As long as both parties are honest then there should be no problem - we all have baggage - and should I stay alone for 4/5 years just because of a piece of paper? | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 3/5/2009 4:57:33 AM | Nope. The first man that I met from POF was legally seperated for over a year.
His wife was living with a younger man at the time. When she noticed him out and
dating, she took him back. As far as I know, think they are still together. Not too
happily, (the word is) But not my problem. So again, Nope ! Won't go there. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 3/5/2009 1:55:46 PM | | But, again, the same thing could have happened had he been divorced - or never married in the first place, just with an ex girlfriend. To suggest that it is MORE LIKELY to happen when someone is separated... I just don't think it's true. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 3/5/2009 3:33:10 PM | no way,,, would you date a married guy??? now a days, if you DON"T want to be married anymore , to that certain someone,,, you get divorced.... it's too easy,,, he said he doesn't have enough money??? bull s###...he has enough money to pay his phone bill tho! he's probably eyeing the market for now.... maybe why he's seperated hahahahahahaha.... | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:01:38 AM | | Seperated............it's called "unfinished business" Do everyone a favor, take care of business before you start advertising again. It's just the responsible thing to do. Less possible hurt and pain for everyone involved. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 4/17/2009 4:01:29 PM | I wouldn't rule someone out just because they're separated. If there's someone I'm interested in, I'd try to learn about their situation. Of course, I'm biased; I've been separated for nearly 15 months now. Here in the Commonwealth (PA), a divorce decree for a contested action will not be issued until a couple has lived separate and apart for at least 2 years. In my case, it's turned into a waiting game; not my choice.
Ask yourself this question: would you rather develop a relationship with someone who has a divorce decree 2 or 3 months after splitting up or with someone who's separated for 1 to 2 years and is moving on with life?
If you're here to find someone, try to find out something about them before eliminating them. | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 4/17/2009 4:34:38 PM | ^^^^^ monty_burns
I've never been married, but don't most states have a forced separation period? If not forced, but by legal wrangling, etc?
I think anyone who's in "waste no time mode" to find a "soulmate" would probably place their bets on not dealing with someone who's separated (unless they found something remarkably so in common with).
I think separation to many folks means "rebound". Sure, there are those situations, which I'm sure the anti-separation people would agree with, where people were unofficially separated for a couple years, and now they've been officially separated for over a year, etc., and that's less of a problem.
Depending on the situation of the marriage and the length of it, it takes a LONG time for most to get over it, which is why I think husband/wife hunting folks steer clear of it. But yeah, there's too many assumptions about someone being separated -- they could have been separated for a good while with little "baggage". | |
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| Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 4/18/2009 10:12:33 AM | | I totally agree. The risk of dating someone who reconciles with their ex is just as great if divorced vs. separated. I personally know two women who occasionally sleep with the ex husbands on a regular basis. I have been separated for 4 years now for financial reasons only. I live my own life and will NEVER reconcile. I would love to meet someone to go forward with but the prevailing feeling for women is they somehow don't believe you are really separated. This is why separated men LIE and say they are divorced. I think from now on I will ask to see each womens divorce decree before we go out. | |
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