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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 1/25/2007 11:01:38 AM | I think it is a matter of attitude more than anything. There are some days when even though I act perky, inside I am falling apart. I can joke with the best of ya, and for those moments, I am enjoying myself. Most of the time I spend trying to be in two places at once and being concerned about my family and if I have thought of everything, or if there is something more I could do. I know, I mean I really know that my concern does not change things and that I can't control anything beyond myself.
If any of you are on ODSP, you know what I am talking about. Your life is no longer your own. I just spent the most humiliating, devastating 3 hour review in my life a few days ago. They even run a credit check! They demand documents and threaten to cut you off if you don't co operate. If anyone tries to help you out, you must account for it and they decide whether or not to subtract it from your income. I would so like to be off this 'coaster' and live without every inch of my life up for discussion and approval. And...if they want to humiliate me about my debt, that's there biz, but maybe they should allow me more $ for rent so I wouldn't be in this mess!
So no...I'm not enjoying this moment, but perhaps there are better days ahead.
Sorry to be a 'buzz kill' here.  | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 1/25/2007 2:56:32 PM | No way, I'm not looking forward to getting old at all. I want to stay as young as I can for as long as I can. I want to enjoy life for as long as I can.
At times my body tells me different but I ignore the signs and move on... | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 1/26/2007 11:16:57 AM | I refuse to age well at least ill go down fighting my goals are to be running marathons in my seventies and to have sex on my 100th birthday . ok so ill have to pay her and take a handfull of viagra but who cares.!!
also is it just me but all the really beautifull women on here seem to be from Cananda . | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 1/26/2007 11:52:21 AM |
also is it just me but all the really beautifull women on here seem to be from Cananda
Probably. All the really beautiful men are from there. Canada that is. 
I plan to enjoy every last minute of life. Tonight I will dance til the wee hours of the morning and go car searching with my sister tomorrow all day. | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 1/26/2007 11:56:13 AM |
also is it just me but all the really beautiful women on here seem to be from Canada
No it is not just you, many have made that same obeservation. Must be in the water. | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 2/8/2007 4:53:39 PM | I notice that the retired men are enjoying life. They have nice retirement packages, but what about the women? A lot of us won't be so lucky.
Let's hope there'll be money for us 'still working" folks to retire on! And money for us to live on, so we can enjoy that retirement!
There's good and bad about aging. I think the worst is that we become irrelevant to our kids. I'm very close to my kids and it's tough to see them move out, hang with their buddies and not want to be around their Mom. Well, maybe when they're in their 30's they'll appreciate me!
It seems to be hard to maintain a social life. People aren't as open as they were when I was younger. Everyone's set in their ways. Stuff that used to be fun becomes boring and 'same old same old". Instead of stimulating conversations, everyone's talking about their grandchildren and houses. (I don't have grandchildren).
On the plus side... being irrelevant means you can do whatever you feel like! I don't care if what I wear and listen to and talk about is 'cool", "Lame", "60's" or whatever. Being divorced gives me the freedom to get up, eat and go to bed and go wherever I like without having to answer to anyone. After raising & being tied to a family, I love the freedom to just be Me.
I love the freedom of being able to study Biology because I WANT to, not because a teacher is forcing me! At the same time I hate it that it's too late to actually get a degree in biology. I hate it that I wasted my youth.
I'm interested in the philosophical aspects of aging. We grew up with this feeling that things were going to get better, cooler, stronger, MORE. Well, when you're a child, you are always looking forward to the future.
At a certain point in our lives we stop progressing "upward" and realize that things are going to go "downhill". We are going to become less strong, have fewer years left, etc.
How do we face this basic shift?
Why is there so little written about the philosophical aspect of facing "the end" and 'the downhill years"? All they ever write about aging is about Health and Retirement. Don't we have souls? | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 2/19/2007 2:15:24 PM | Betty Friedan The Fountain of Age
Betty Friedan wrote The Fountain of Age as a journey to redefine age, and to demystify the age mystique. Each chapter stands alone as an essay, exploring the many tribulations of old age. She allows us to follow her on this journey, which she starts at the age of 60 with her own fears and denial of aging, and ends with the celebration of age.
One of the main themes that run through this book is that age is perceived only as a decline or deterioration from youth. This assumption has become so pervasive throughout the professional community and society, that Friedan finds older people believing it to be true, having all bought into the decline model of aging. She writes each chapter challenging this assumption, pointing out the injustice along with the solution, usually through social-political change. This is reflected in such chapters as `Denial and the "problem" of age', `The Retirement Paradox', and `A Paradigm Shift from "Cure"'.
In the `Denial and "Problem" of Age', one of the things Friedan finds is that media consistently leaves out any appearance of older individuals on television and in advertisements saying "The blackout of images of women and men visibly over sixty-five, engaged in any vital or productive adult activity, and their replacement by the "problem" of age, is our society's very definition of age." She goes on to say, "Clearly the image of age has become so terrifying to Americans that they do not want to see any reminder of their own aging." She realizes the image of age was viewed as one of decline and deterioration, a mystique, not of desirability, but of trepidation. Growing old has almost become unspeakable, which stems from our obsession with youth.
Friedan takes on the ageist ideology of corporate America in the chapter `The Retirement Paradox', saying at sixty-five or even before, older workers are forced into retirement, If not by law, then by social expectation, when many still want to work, and still have one-third of their lives still to live and be productive. Declaring this a great injustice to older workers, Friedan believes we don't have to continue to be structured in terms of lifespan of the past, suggesting that companies who are smart enough to adjust to the increasing population of older workers will be able to harvest enormous talent.
In `A Paradigm Shift from "Cure"', Friedan believes the assumption of age being likened to sickness or debility keeps the medical community and even the elderly themselves from dealing with the symptoms of legitimate illnesses. The role of functional assessment is important in treating the elderly, saying, "A new version of the old-fashioned family doctor, trained to treat the whole person, is what is needed." She goes on to say "Doctors and nurses must go beyond medicine's two traditional goals: " to cure disease and to prevent disease." Their goal now has to be to preserve and improve the quality of life for the older person." For Friedan, the paradigm shift is one from the passive medical model of care of the elderly to actually controlling their own age.
Friedan undertakes issues that haven't truly been addressed before, so as a gerontologist this book is important to me. She opens our eyes to the social implications the decline model holds for our elderly, and the paradigm shift that needs to take place if we are going to look at the abilities and qualities that may develop or emerge in men and women in later life, and contemplate new possibilities for their use.
Going beyond, or the transcendence of age is how Friedan concludes her journey. Given the new possibilities old age holds, she believes the elderly have to be pioneers of a new kind of age. She found these people all across the country, applauding old age instead of dreading it. She sees old age as an opportunity for a new beginning, a new horizon, to do the things you never had the chance to do before. These people were continuing to evolve and grow into their new age. Those who originally were searching for the fountain of youth, found the fountain of age instead.
One of the Amazon reviews of the book.
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 2/19/2007 5:15:56 PM | I recall reading it - my field is/was gerontology. I'd say it's one of the better books about aging. There's also a book about creativity in later life which is very good. Don't have the title on hand.
It's true: "old age is not for sissies."
Some things slow down and sometimes there are things some of us can't do anymore - or can only do with great difficulty. For example; I can no longer lie on my stomach and then touch the back of my head with my toes. I don't miss that one. There are things I miss. I can't run, since my knees would rebel if I did, but I can and do walk, lots.
I can't enjoy financial freedom from stress, since I retired early (not planned) and never made a lot of money working in social services. I can however enjoy freedom from other types of negative stress - like doing five days work in four days, for years.
Most of all, I can decide how I spend my time. I can share it with my love, my family and my friends, and still have time just for me. Or, rather I will have more time, once my short-term emergency job, helping out in my daughter's business, is over. I've discovered I'd rather be doing something I choose, even if that something, is nothing in particular from time to time.
My energy level is not as high as it used to be, but I'm not allowed to nap on the job. LOL! | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 2/20/2007 11:33:38 AM | | My opinion is that you have two choices. Grow old and enjoy it or die young. I chose to keep my mental attitude rather than my numeral count. I am reaping the benefits of my youthful labors and loving life no matter what the age. I have raised my children, secured my future and now doing what I want to do on a daily basis. I am more inclined to jump in my car and go where the wind takes me. Getting older gets better and better. The alternative does not appeal to me. I love growing old. I can't wait to get old enough to claim senility (sp) and really speak my mind. lol | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 2/23/2007 3:52:52 AM | | I think getting older is a great thing. I feel this is the best part of my life. | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 2/23/2007 6:46:40 AM | Hey, we're lucky to have gotten the chance to get old(er)! Nine months ago I got a cancer diagnosis. Of course it scared the hell out of me. I spent some pain, tear and angst filled weeks of surgery and more surgery and testing to see what the prognosis would be. And then months filled with painful and life-altering treatments. When people are faced with that situation, I think you create your future in how you handle the diagnosis. You either reach down inside yourself and find strength and faith, or you give up. I found strength and regained my faith. I decided that no matter what my test results showed, I was going to ignore it. I was going to do whatever could be done to lengthen my life (with quality) and then I was going to live until I died.
I was VERY lucky! My test results showed they got all the cancer with surgery (lumpectomy/breast cancer), my scar is minimal, and all the treatments are now behind me. Post-testing shows no hot spots or any suspicious matter anywhere in my body, and my prognosis is pretty good to avoid recurrance.
During all of that, though, those words stayed with me. I AM GOING TO LIVE UNTIL I DIE. Really live! So, I am looking forward to getting older, because it means I will have more days to live. Not to exist. Not to breathe and get through another day of life, but to LIVE! And hopefully, to LOVE! To thrill to the ordinary things in life that once I might have paid no attention to, and hopefully, to be able to share them with someone special. I am going to do all those things that I've put off before to do at a more "appropriate" time. There may not be a tomorrow for any one of us. "Getting old" is a privilege. We may pay for it with aches and pains and scars and wrinkles, but, it's all a small price to pay for our blessings. | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 2/23/2007 7:01:55 AM | | I totally agree - I have been miserable for all of my adult life except for the last two years. | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 2/23/2007 7:21:41 AM | | I'm also 52, and not bothered by growing older at all. In 5 - 10 years, I will be retired, doing what I want to do in life, and being the boss of me. That will be just about the time my boys will be flying the coop. I'm looking forward to it; of course, I don't want to rush to that point of time either. I’m just taking it one day at a time and even stopping to smell the flowers, occasionally. | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:36:06 PM | Retired 2 years ago today! from paid employment that is--but still busy, active and my own "boss"--never a dull day, never bored, and also plenty of time to just "mentally process" without feeling that I am "wasting time"--able to spend productive time just contemplating the lint in my belly button if that's what I need.
It's a darned shame that by the time we really learn how to live, we'd done most of it, but I think these are going to be the best years of my life! Life is a journey, not a destination, and this is an excellent part of it. | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 3/6/2007 10:51:17 PM | I'm looking forward to 50, and then to 60, and I do plan on living well into my hundreds. Are you kidding? If you enjoy life, you enjoy growing older in it. I'm not even fully seasoned yet. I've never been happier, healthier, or wiser, and I expect that to continue to escalate. I don't see any reason why not.
"My ole lady she don't care" E. John | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:31:39 PM | Someone told me once that "You know you are getting older when cops and doctors look like KIDS"--I have reached that point in life!
Before I retired I worked with a physician age 32 who looked like a kid, and I told him that saying, one day he and I were standing in the lobby of the outpatient mental clinic where we both worked, and we were talking to a very young police detective about one of our patients. I stood between the two men. First I looked at one, then turned and looked at the other, then the physician looked at me and grinned, knowing what I was thinking! 
I had to go to my primary care provider yesterday for a minor thing. She is a young outgoing and great young physician. It is one of the clinics where I worked for 10 yrs before my retirement. As she examined me the discussion came up about treating the elderly who have no "quality" of life and no potential for any. I told her that on my 65th birthday I am going to get a tattoo (I am not really a tattoo kind of person) and over my left breast it will say
DO NOT RECUSSITATE --because I do not want attempts made to bring me "back" if I am over 65. There are sooooo FEW successful attempts made on anyone over 65, and so MANY where the body comes back and the brain isn't in it, etc. that I would rather not take the chance and the ONLY way I can make sure that someone won't try to recussitate me is if I have it tattoo'd on my body. As a medical professional, I have frequently been involved with recussitation efforts and only ONCE have I seen a person really "saved" to go back to a normal life and she was 50. The best I have seen is the person walked but had the brain of a 6 month old and was lost and unhappy, not even recognizing his family, continually crying and wandering.
Each phase of my life, from childhood to empty-nester has been "the best" at the time I was there, and now that I am creeping up to "old age" (at 60) this is the best part of my life now. I am still healthy, financially independent (not rich) much more emotionally stable, less judgmental, more caring, better able to make informed decisions, get into less problems than ever, am happier, more satisfied, etc. Why would I ever trade THAT for "Youth"--?? I realize that the number of years in front of me are less than they were at 20, but I think the quality of life I will get out of those diminished years will more than make up for it in QUALITY and satisfaction in life. I don't have to put up with the stress at work any more I don't have to worry about paying my bills I dont' have to associate with anyone that I don't care to I can sleep or get up as I please I can cook or not cook as I please I can stay in my jammies all day or dress up and go out as I please
Life is wonderful--HOORAY FOR OLD AGE! | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 3/10/2007 1:57:31 AM | | I still hate growing older but i am having the time of my life. I've dated more young men since i've been in my 50's and 60's (i'm 65 now)then i ever did when i was that age. | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 3/10/2007 4:31:49 AM | Past generations of the elderly, were depicted by images of grey haired matrons sitting in a rocking chair knitting and/or two white-haired men playing checkers nearby. e.g. The painting of Grandma Moses speaks to me, of a woman sitting alone, waiting to die.
I think our generation is being shown a more positive image of aging because we're being shown the possibilities for growth, self-discovery and accomplishment in old age. We're being told that we are never too old to learn and especially to do new and enjoyable activities/hobbies. Some of us discover new strengths and talents. We're being encouraged with a wealth of information on how, to get healthy, eat healthy and stay healthy. Some are concerned about their own retirement savings and income. But for the most part, we're at a higher socio-economic level than our ancestors, so we can afford to enjoy some extra-cirriculor activities.We're also a more mobile society so we can travel or visit long distance family/relatives more easily.
So, to state the old cliche...we're not getting older.....we're getting better.
Nobody grows old, merely by living a number of years
We grow old by deserting our ideals
Years may wrinkle the skin
But, to give up enthusiasm, wrinkles the soul
Author Unknown
Enjoy!!!!!!
Muskoka | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 3/10/2007 6:03:48 AM | | I'll even take this topic further. Since i was in my 50's and 60's i've, had more sex in the back seats of cars, in bathroom stalls at the bars, in the park, and with men just coming over to my house while my husband is at work. Something that was not happening when i was in my 20's and 30's. | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 3/10/2007 8:01:34 AM | | Louise, if that's your idea of aging gracefully, I just hope that you don't catch something in the backseat of a car, or the bathroom at a bar that you bring home to your husband that can't be cured with penicillian. | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 3/12/2007 9:09:31 AM | Louise, while condoms protect (if they don't break) against SOME of the STDs, there are many that they don't even help with. I am a retried registered nurse practitioner and taught classes for college kids in "Safe(-er) Sex and STDs" The only really safe sex is by yourself or with one disease-free partner who is not playing around. Condoms cut down the amout of STDs but the old joke about "What do you call folks who use condoms for birth control? Parents!" is true!
Condoms are only about 90% effective in birth control which with the woman being fertile only about 3 days a month, means that there are many more failures than 10%.
I'm not willing to BET MY LIFE on the other person not having diseases that condoms can't prevent, or the condom breaking etc. in order to have casual sex with some guy in the back seat of a car, or the bathroom of some club. If these guys are having sex with you in the bathroom of some club, I would be willing to bet they are having it with many other partners as well in the same way.
The sad part to me is that you are also betting your husband's life on it, and I bet he has no knowledge of it, and wouldn't approve of this. If he would, he's a lot more liberal than I would expect most guys to be. Just MHO | |
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 3/12/2007 11:01:12 AM | I agree with the OP.That's in part due to my positive outlook on life,but also because I have quite a few elderly role models...especially my 86yr old aunt May.She's a softly spoken Scottish lady_a bit like Mrs Doubtfire only smaller & less hairy_with such a passion for life....always travelling,visiting relatives around the world.
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| Getting older & enjoying it
Posted: 3/12/2007 1:17:16 PM | | I love being older.I know more now than I did when I was younger.Experience takes time and it makes you grow.I love all my experiences especially the good ones.I love all my laugh lines. Would never get rid of them. | |
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