| Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:35:10 PM | | you are rite there are men out there who can careless about the kids they have!! they are called deadbeets i am NOT one of them i would do anything for my 2 kids if they need they get i would pay as mush money as i have to so i can see my kids !!! i would be dammed if someone told me i cant see them i see my kids everyother weekend and 2 or3 days doring the week just to hang out with them i dont care what we do as long as i get to see them and let them know that i love them i go to all there activities and so on ... So if there is 1 or 2 assho*** in the world please dont put all men in the same boat as them lossers | |
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| Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:36:04 PM | | you are rite there are men out there who can careless about the kids they have!! they are called deadbeats i am NOT one of them i would do anything for my 2 kids if they need they get i would pay as mush money as i have to so i can see my kids !!! i would be dammed if someone told me i cant see them i see my kids everyother weekend and 2 or3 days doring the week just to hang out with them i dont care what we do as long as i get to see them and let them know that i love them i go to all there activities and so on ... So if there is 1 or 2 assho*** in the world please dont put all men in the same boat as them lossers | |
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| Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:12:01 AM | When myself and my daughters father seperated we came to an arrangement where he was able to see her every other weekend and holidays.After a couple of years he met a new partner and when he found she was expecting called me out of the blue and said that our daughter wasn't his (though thankfully his parents knew she was and they still see her),that was when she was 4.Now 5 yrs on she still doesn't see him,but i always make sure that i never bad mouth him in front of her as i reckon it will be her choice later on when she gets older if she wants to contact him.
She has grown into a wonderful,helpful little girl so far and can't see anything changing her attitude,i have made sure she has got all his photo's in her picture album.
As for any male figures in her life,she has her grandfathers,uncles and cousins that are always taking her out and spending quality time with her. | |
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| Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:24:32 AM | | When my daughter was first born, I promised myself that I would never keep her away from her dad. We agreed that until she about 6 months old, that he would come see her at my house. And he did. About once a month for 20 minutes. He would always call and say he cant come because of such and such, didnt have gas, etc. I told him I would meet him half way, drive both ways for him to see her.This went on until she was 2. After that, we never saw him again. She is now 7 and he hasnt had contact with her for 5 years. | |
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| Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:54:39 PM | just wondering have yall read what exactally an "DeadBeat Parent" really means?....
Do not take this as rudeness!!!!
Deadbeat parent is a pejorative term referring to parents of either gender that have freely chosen not to be a financially supportive parent in their children's lives. Primarily used in the US, the gender-specific Deadbeat dad and Deadbeat mom are commonly used by the child support agency to refer to men and women who have fathered or mothered a child but fail to pay child support ordered by a family law court or statutory agency such as the Child Support Agency. The real definition[clarify] is an unrestricted[clarify] parent treated equally who chooses not to be a regular or supportive parent in his or her child or children's life or lives.
I AM VERY SORRY TO ALL WHO ARE GOING THROUGH AN ROUGH TIME BECAUSE THE CHILDREN FATHER OR MOTHER IS NOT WANTING TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE, AND BE THE PARENT THAT THEIR CHILD NEEDS! | |
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| Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 9/28/2008 10:29:48 PM | You don't have to say nice things about the dad.
Kids are smart.
If the dad or mom is a loser or whatever, they will figure it out on their own. | |
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| Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 9/29/2008 7:21:53 PM | I completly understand the deadbeat parent thing.
I am a single mother to a wonderful 7 year old little boy. His father was my "best friend" of 11 years, all the way up till we decided to take things to a new level, and I got pregnant. He first started by telling me to have an abortion. That ruined the friendship right there. I do no believe in abortion for myself, so that was not an option. And I loved my child from the moment I found out I was pregnant. He ran. He called occasionally throughout my pregnancy telling me to give the baby up for adoption. When I told him no way no how he told me I better not tell anyone who the father was.
Once my son was born he called again when he had heard we were home from the hospital and "reminded me" that he wanted to part of it, and do not tell anyone. Well I was on medicade at the time, and had no choice to go to court for support. Which meant telling who the daddy was. My son and I went to court for three years to do the paternity bit, knowing that every court date he wouldn't show. Finally when my son was almost three the we went to court, and the judge had had enough. I was in the er the night before with my son, he had pneumonia, so he was crying the whole time in the court waiting room. I had no choice but to take him with me or I was in contempt. When I got called in the room the judge asked me if that was my son out there makeing all that noise. I told him about being in the er and everything. He immediatly put a warrent out for his arrest in NY.
His father still ran for a while until he got married. Then his wife made him step up. Good for her I guess. He then started to threaten to take my son away if I didn't find a way to make him not financially responsible for his part. I laughed it off. I still have full custody. He also told me that he still wanted nothing to do with him but his wife did.
He does pay support for him. And my son knows who his father is. He calls about once a year and talkes to him and comes at Christmas and brings him presents. Then we don't hear from him again. My son asks about his father, and as much as it kills me I dont ever say anything negative. I don't lie to him and make his father out to be a hero. But when he asks questions like why doesn't my dad call me I simply tell him I am really not sure. THen I offer to let him call his dad and ask him, or just talk to him. I will never tell my son he can't call his father, or see him. That will be up to him to decide as he gets older.
It kills me to see the hurt in my sons eyes. I just do my best to make sure he has a good life with me. Like I said i have full custody, but I will not stop his father from seeing him. BEcause if I make that decision for him he will grow up to resent me. When he gets older he may become close with his father. There is nothing I can do about that, nor would I want to. However I don't want him to feel any resentment twords me for "lieing to him about his dad" or keeping him from seeing him. Whenever his father comes to NY for a week I give him at least four days he can come see him. And out of those four days it is his choice to come once or all four. Now that my son is older I just started letting him take him for the day. I figured this would make him want to come see him more, but aparently he doesn't.
His father does live in VA, but he is a state trooper and he has told me last year that he has almost three months paid vacation, so there is no reason he cannot come see his son more. I will not allow him overnight visitation yet because he has only seen my son 12 times in four years. THat is not enough of a bond. He can pick him up in the morning and bring him back at bed time though. I think this is more than fair. My son has fun with him, but he was told that if my son ever tells me he doesn't want to go his visitation is right back to supervised or not at all. If he doesn't like it see him in court I guess. But he agreed. I try to let him be involved but my son is already noticing that he doesn't want to be here. I still will never say anything negative about him.
My parents divorced when I was little. And still to this day I have no respect for those who said anything bad about either of my parents. And I will not have that with my son. He will make that decision all on his own. Whichever way it goes. Life is hard sometimes as a single parent when the other one is only involved when convienent for them. But who am I do deny my son his father (or as I call him when he father isn't around sperm doner). My sons seventh birthday is actually Friday, we will see if he bothers to call him or not. In a way I hope he does, but I am very doubtful that he will. Its the kids that suffer in these situations. And as the parent that is here it is my job to make my son happy, and do my best to fill that void in his life. I do all the "father son" things with my son. As much as I hate it I put a smile on my face and bait that hook lol. We do what we can with what we have, and thats all anyone can ask. But I do understand the frustration. | |
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| Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 9/30/2008 3:14:37 PM | | My story.. I found out I was preg and my ex screaming at my for hours to get abortion. When I was 3 months pregnant, I finally left him. He was in jail at the time. He was a heavy alcoholic, (i was totaly niave (sp?)and thought i could help him)so I didnt leave him, I was getting abused, and was cheated on numerous times. I was the one supporting him..etc. I finally woke up at 3 months pregnant and decided this was not going to be my daughter's life. We split, I saw him a few times, he never said or asked me anything about the baby, he just acted like I was not walking right behind him. So I just left him alone, never tried to get child support, never tried to get anything from him, nothing. This past February I saw it in the paper that he shot himself. When I had left him, I told him if he could get act together, then we could work something out, he didnt, and now he never can get that chance. His father knows about her, I get no word from him either. His family is missing out on the best thing he had ever done and they dont care. In his obiturary they made him sound like the best guy, well he was an a**. And yes I will tell my daughter what he did to me, she has a right to know what he was. | |
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| Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 10/21/2008 2:24:26 PM | Well put Dr. 911.
To many parents seeing , supporting, parenting their child is a matter of convenience. Sure it sucks when one person is doing all the work, but someone has to be the bigger person and lead by example for their child and or children. It is true that they will grow up and respect and appreciate your efforts. Make them feel and know that they are loved at all times. Actions speak louder then words all too often! Show them! Hold them close and tell em you love em! | |
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| Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 10/21/2008 5:36:07 PM | | people should make better choices who they make kids with. this is advice to myself as well. | |
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| Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 10/21/2008 8:57:57 PM | You are right "tony" we all should make better choices on, who we decide to have an child with and none of us can say it wasn't our choice UNLESS we was raped and got pregnant!
Life is too short to be bitter and angry and hurt people. | |
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