| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 6/17/2006 12:23:59 PM | it s cool to screen your potental partner s, but if you have no intention of meeting them
you should state that upfront and not go on and on -on may 5-10 exchange son-line
with the other party thinking they may have a future relationship | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 6/19/2006 5:53:28 PM | I have met a few people from POF and had some fun experiences. What i find makes it easier to get a date to meet up with you is to gradually move the conversation from email to the phone and progress from there.
What i think we need is to have POF member meetings in public places. That might help the more shy/scared members come out. | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 6/19/2006 6:39:37 PM | yea they actually have forum s for that, and not taker s ,
I set 1 forum myself , no answer s yet, Ive checked
other forum s but no getogether s yet. been sometime, | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 6/19/2006 7:40:37 PM | You find that on the pay sites, too... but there are ways to deal with it. I have met plenty of ladies in person that I have met online.
A couple things to keep in mind that:
1) there are plenty of fish - view the world with an abundance mentality not a scarcity mentality, it will do wonders for your outlook
2) set some standards... for example, if I ask for a number and i don't get one, it is HIGHLY unlikely that I will continue emailing and by the third email, if I don't have a number I am done. I also am done if I am not meeting the lady after 2 brief phone calls.
What I am saying is that you should set standards and screen people out if they don't meet your standards. Granted, the smaller your area the harder this is to do, but meeting is pretty important if your goal is more than chatting online and if someone isn't going to meet you, you can usually tell pretty quick and filter them out.
Regards,
Sean | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 6/20/2006 3:53:00 AM | I`m on here with little information about myself and my profile clearly stating that I`m only here for the forums after having tried the other approach of stating what I was looking for in a woman and being innundated with emails and winks or whatever we call them here from women who had NOTHING in common with me or who I stated that I am looking for.
Although the number has dropped I still get them contacting me regardless of the fact that my profile clearly states that I am only here for the forums and frankly, I`d much rather spend my time here getting a glimpse of some posters personalities, looking for those who interest me, than spend it replying to people whom I have no interest in and based on many of their profiles, who seemingly only desire to be a housewench. I don`t need or desire a housewench, they are a dime a dozen. Sorry, but I don`t like kissing smokers either and intimacy and physical affection is high on my list of needs.
I don`t need a person who pumps out babies either, especially when she`s already done so, many times, with someone else. I have one and would have had two if the circumstances permitted because I feel that having too many more makes it impossible to nurture and take care of all of them. I`ve done the stepchild thing with two daughters and I`d do it again, but anymore than two becomes a crowd in a hurry. Somehow though, when I put statements in my profile stating that I don`t want anymore children or someone else`s brood it gets overlooked and I still get contacts from women with a bunch of kids who often look unkempt in the pictures they include so what is reality like?
Even though I may have no interest in many of the people contacting me, I still realize they are people with feelings so I feel compelled to give them a meaningful reply, and if I don`t I feel guilty as hell, when in reality if they knew me or saw me out in public engaged in my interests they would/should recognize that we are not a match and should concentrate their efforts elsewhere.
Another common scenario apparently related to "dating only" sites is that you "meet" someone who damn well better have a picture, exchange e-mails where everything goes swimmingly, and then either meet in person or atleast talk on the phone and everything goes downhill from there. Occupational hazard you may say, and I`d agree, but when you meet and find out the person doesn`t resemble their picture you may feel a bit deceived as I have. Or when you talk and their true personality(unlike their profile and e-mails) comes out and you have no desire to be with that sort of person, what do you do? The answer is easy, the execution is more difficult, only to be compounded by the fact that apparently a high percentage of these internet mis-matches will continue to call, sometimes so incessantly that it probably legally constitutes harrassment. Atleast these personalities are likely to be evident through their posts if they participate in the forums which are alot more like meeting people in person because through their responses to sometimes sensitive or emotionally charged topics you can get a glimpse of their true selves.
I realize that after posting this sort of message that I will no doubt miss the opportunity of someone interesting contacting me, but if it also prevents a few of those whom I`m not interested in contacting me, I`ll live with this risk. Anyone that I am interested in will know it because I will contact her. I know that I am handicapping myself and forcing missed opportunities but I`m not here just to "hook up" and I`m not desperate so I`ll continue to live my life alone until a mutually satisfying relationship presents itself. That means that I have to want to be in it.
I don`t blame anyone, especially the ladies, who state that they are here only for the forums. | |
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| Who is fed up with "only here to chat" people?
Posted: 6/20/2006 11:21:07 PM | I strongly agree. This site was designed for one thing, and one thing only. DATING! And i don't see where it states it was made for chatting. If you want to "Chat", use AIM or Yahoo IM. Or go to myspace. Don't waste member's time with "Chatting". If i'm on here, it's to date. "Nothing Else"! And i would bet that most that do say they are only here to chat, just want to choose who they talk to without having to deal with rejecting anyone or being rejected. I have met many females in my years that say the same thing....."Only Here To Chat"! But once they chat with the one they want,  "BOOM" their all over them. It would be a good thing to disconnect anyone not willing to date as this site was designed for. Free up space for those willing to meet and get to know someone.
P.S. Yes i know this post is a year old, but that does not mean i can't respond. A post does not have an expiration date. | |
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| Who is fed up with "only here to chat" people!
Posted: 6/20/2006 11:35:24 PM | Hey, irish cutie. And may i say, you are a cutie ! But about this topic. Yes, there are stories, and not just stories but reality. But this reality is nothing new. If someone feels this way, the question is still, Why are you here???. And once again, if they want to "Just Chat", there is always myspace. What the hell would they be doing on a DATING SITE? So i honestly believe there is no reasonable excuse for someone just wanting, to chat sign up on a dating site. Makes no sence what so ever. I'll be damned if i'm gonna waste my time talking to some chick i don't know and she don't want to get to know me and lives in like alabama and i'll never meet her. WHAT'S THE POINT!? Bottom line....PlentyofFish=DATING....Myspace=CHATTING! | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 6/20/2006 11:47:47 PM | Yes,trappedonbayst. This site is free. But the point is, it's a dating site. Plain and simple. It's written all over the place. Even right above this thread. See up above /\ /\ /\? It says, 100% FREE "DATING" SITE! Christ! Not even these forums can be used for chatting Chat here and get banned I guess that explains why only the people here to date are even on this forum. | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 6/20/2006 11:53:55 PM | This is a new one to me pooh59fd. It's funny, because i can't count how many females are good for the "Not showing up" thing. But the thing is, females DO show up. It's just we don't see you until you get a look at us from your hiding place. If we look good, you come out. If not, then you take off like a lost cat. | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:06:16 AM | Yes, Maite(d505374)! That's what you are supposed to do before you date. It's called "Getting To Know Someone"! But that is still considered willing to date! This forum is about those who are "NOT" willing to date and are here to only "CHAT". So your point is irrelevent to this forum. No disrespect intended! Just pointing out the difference between "chatting" to get to know someone, and just here to "Chat"! | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:12:49 AM | there's plenty of legitimate reasons to be on this website that don't include dating?????? Please, bakedsalmon! Tell us these reasons you believe in! I'd love to here from you what the administration failed to tell us. | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:19:40 AM | You know the funny thing about some people not messaging back are just dissapearing? With all the other dating sites out there, some just simply forget the name of one of them and just never goes back. I just signed up a day ago and could not remember what this site was called until i checked my email and it contained a message from here saying i had a new PlentyofFish message. So as you can see, things like this happen to a lot of members.
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:22:26 AM | You are 100% correct span1sh. They just have a low self esteem and may be in a one-sided relationship and just want a little attention. For those with these motives...GO TO MYSPACE | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 7/7/2006 8:52:49 PM | hey danny...sounds like your been running after the wrong kind of people....some people are into head games and want to see how far they can get you to go before they pull the rug out from under you..but there are some nice people, out there that really want to meet...just have to go through spome nuts before you get to them....happy hunting.... | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 9/17/2006 12:25:46 PM | | im with you if there here to find just friends and not a boyfriend or girlfriend then thay need to be removed from this site and not aloud back till thay are looking for a bf or gf | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 9/17/2006 7:10:32 PM | well if the party doesn "t intend to meet another party with the idea of datting
or to actually go on a date then then they should say so upfront, the 1st or 2nd
e-mail, some party's would send as many as 10-12 e-mail without saying a
word before they say no just wanted to chat, or they say you not my type,
mean while about 3 or 4 weeks have past , ( wasted ) , | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 9/17/2006 7:20:57 PM | member s should be ready to meet another member after 4-5 e-mail
exchange's, by then you shoulda given enough information to have
a meeting, if not then you won't out much more by contuing e-mail's
you have to see eachother face to face to find out you true intention's
the meeting place should be very public and quiet, so the two of you
can really get to know eachother, preferably 2 of these meeting would
be better, then you can move-on from there, ( datting or whatever) | |
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| Who is fed up with only here to chat people
Posted: 9/17/2006 9:43:53 PM | | I guess peopel are learning about all of it, wheteher they want to date or not, if they're really ready for that. I find woman who say they are busy all the time. Not sure if they're shing me on or busy. If they're that busy, then I guess they could wait on the dating thing.... | |
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Good one spatter1.
