| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/8/2007 10:34:40 PM | | Habit? I've had it happen too, and I definately did NOT want the previous guy back in my life. I expect it will happen with my X too, one thing he could do is kiss and cuddle. I also tend to be waaaay too monagamous and have difficulty shifting gears if I'm still emotionally involved with someone, even if it's someone I know won't work out. The new guy sounds so great that I bet you get over that little problem real quick! | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/8/2007 10:48:56 PM | You deserve the best, and it seems like you've found a guy who is close enough to possibly be the best for you.
Go with the flow, and the flow will respect you.
~ David | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 9:12:48 AM | You're not over the other guy and thus, not ready to date....
When you are indifferent towards the other guy then you will be ready to start dating again. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 9:25:04 AM | You're not over the other guy and thus, not ready to date....
I think that you may be right thanks jarbarian.......
Just not sure how to get over him. He knows what to say to keep me right here waiting. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 9:28:52 AM | | You're not over the first man. Don't hurt the new guy by dating him. Set him free to find someone who is available and ready for his love. You aren't. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 9:32:19 AM | Focus on the new guy, he will probably soon make you forget about the old guy you hate.
I wish you the best. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 9:39:54 AM |
You're not over the first man. Don't hurt the new guy by dating him. Set him free to find someone who is available and ready for his love. You aren't.
So the old guy is stringing you along and keeping you on a leash by saying things that keep you nearby and handy.
Just not sure how to get over him. He knows what to say to keep me right here waiting.
A "perfect" man comes into your life and you essentially don't want him.
Yes...let him go. Let him find someone else.
You can then start another thread. "I let the perfect man go...how can I get him back"
or
"Why can't I find a good guy?"
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 9:50:09 AM | Ok I have read all the posts and thought about your situation, literally took time to step back and put myself in your shoes and this is my take on it.
Guy #1 -- A smile that lights up a room, makes me feel things that no other guy has yet, doesn't have a whole lot but it doesn't seem to matter or affect my interest, BUT he doesn't seem quite ready for a relationship yet.
Guy #2 -- Great to look at it, feel good on his arm, great job........blah blah........but really does nothing for you like guy #1 does, meaning cause a reaction in your mind, body, and soul.
It is evident to me that no matter guy #2's status or looks he simply does not make you feel alive or ignite your passion like guy #1. My dear it is not about looks or status but how a person interacts with you , makes you feel, and captures your attention which is quite evident that guy #1 certainly does.
I am in a similar situation myself (not completely mind you) where I am interested in a man but as of yet we haven't been able to meet, but his mind, words, thoughts, and genuineness have captured me beyond belief and like no other. I figured that I would continue to date others until we meet but guess what is happening? The same thing that is happening to you!!! My thoughts are of him and simply no one else can compare.
So my advice to you is to stop dating others because really you are wasting their time, try to see if there is some kind of future with guy #1 because I don't believe until you have this answer in your heart or mind will you be able to move on.
Money can come and go, looks can come and go............but the heart is always the heart and if it is kind it will treat you with kindness for an entire lifetime.
Peace and good luck............. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 9:52:03 AM | | The first step in getting over guy #1 is to stop having anything to do with him. Do not write him, call him or take his calls. Be firm and be strong. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 10:00:06 AM | One other point that I also wanted to mention or refer to is your comment about him not being emotionally available or not ready for a relationship.
There can be many reasons for him holding back which could range from past hurts, cheated on, etc and so it may be that he wishes to take things slowly. There is nothing wrong with this approach as many I feel rush into things too quickly and fall flat on their face. It is hard to determine exactly why he holds back OP, but I believe from your words that you truly wish to find out for yourself.........go get your answer girl! | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 10:05:06 AM | ^^^ WickedandWise...
I totally see where you're coming from. In a way, I've been the guy #1 to a few of my former girlfriends, and it's been painful to have to tell them to be free of me. But I do, because I need what I need, and if that gets in the way of what they want, then it's an unfortunate inevitability that I cannot give them what they want unless I decide to be unhappy with my life.
I suggest you either go for guy #2, or take some time to feel good being alone, without a man, and then get back into the game a few months from now, ready for whoever may be the next perfect guy to come along.
There may seem to be only one #1, and one #2, but there's always a #3 who can trump those two.
I hope your solution comes at a minimum of cost in sadness.
~ David | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 10:18:29 AM | Hiya, personally. I think the new guy is NOT the one. You are gonna end up walking allover him and not respecting him.
I think that you need to do a little looking at your self and maybe a little reading up of something that may be relevant to you, personally.
There's no point going into anything half a***d. Give yourself a chance, please!
Nev | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 12:10:58 PM | ^^^
Of course...because we ALL know that romantic, smart, goodlooking, guys with good jobs who treat women with respect and are basically nice are not worth persuing.
OMG. I just had the most incrediable date with a guy from here. He is absolutely gorgeous. He showed up for our first date with roses. We had a wonderful dinner, we had great conversation and share much in common. When the evening was over he asked if he could kiss me and I said yes.....
Yup...what a jerk this guy is. Imagine showing up with roses....asking to kiss her and taking her to dinner.
What an F'd up life we lead. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 2:10:16 PM | Nobody is saying guy #2 is a jerk, the simple point of it is that the OP is nowhere ready to give this guy the attention he deserves because she still has feelings for guy #1.
well that's my opinion of the situation anyway! | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 4:01:25 PM | | Yeah...sorry. I was being sarcastic. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 5:32:57 PM | OMG - no no no - stop right there!! I have done this - your in "im going to **CK this up" mode!!!
No - the other guy - doesnt want anything right now - the challenge
the new guy - wants something - too easy you win this one
Step back - take a deep breath - close your eyes and make the date with the available guy - you can thank me later.
Dont torture yourself over the unavailable guy - what - go thru hurt and pain over something that is not going to happen - forget it - and waste your time getting over him - You are over him- your dating other people - big step- right?? And you said it yourself - wonderful dinner , great conversation - you enjoyed yourself - Really - you can thank me later.
MSG #28 - DONT LET THE FANTASY RUIN YOUR LIFE !!!! LISTEN TO THIS!!!
I see you on these forums and I really admire your imput on them - your a really smart, beautiful women - you can do this!!
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 5:50:59 PM | You already told the new guy how you feel and he is willing to risk your not being able to get beyond guy number 1, so date him and see how it goes. One of the reasons that your heart goes pitter patter with the old guy is because you had a relationship with him, and part of the attraction is based on history and may be related to unavailability as others have suggested. You didn't say you thought about him the whole night, just during kissy face, so give yourself some time to find out whether you really like the new guy.
If you're ready and he's a great guy, and you stop talking to guy number 1 (who apparently is emotionally manipulating you and you're allowing it), you will soon find that the thought of guy number 1 does nothing while new guy makes your knees weak.
If this never happens you weren't ready and as he is aware of the situation, no harm no foul. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 8:36:21 PM | Its hard to wait around for something that you know might never happen, but its even harder to try to give it up when you know its everything you want. Love bites
Thank you curlygrl!! | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 9:22:08 PM | | We always seem to want what we can't have and what's easy to have we don't :( | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/9/2007 10:17:59 PM | It's simple there is nothing wrong with you it's just most of us women want what we cant have. Just like have you ever noticed how some women want a man who is not good to her and when the right one come's along we dis them because he is a good guy. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/11/2007 6:11:22 PM | | Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, stupid, stupid, stupid | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/11/2007 7:49:30 PM | I would let the second guy go and hope he finds a great person who is ready for a date and is not caught between two people.
I would go with the one who will be the emotional, mental and spiritual support that would last for a long term basis. More people of integrity and genuine love and a sense of direction are needed not to mention wisdom. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/12/2007 12:35:39 AM | I think is is good that you declined to see him again. You will avoid complications in the future, and are being fair on him in the long run.
See if this guy you have REAL chemistry with becomes emotionally stable soon, don't date anyone else in the meantime as you have to resolve your feelings with this other guy. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/12/2007 12:56:09 AM | You need to let the new guy go - you won't be doing him justice by having feelings for someone else while you're seeing him. SEND HIM TO ME!!! I guarantee I won't toss him over to pine for some schmuck! | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/12/2007 12:31:38 PM |
I guarantee I won't toss him over to pine for some schmuck!
He isn't a schmuck. He is a wonderful, thoughtful, affectionate, intelligent, great looking, sweet guy And OMG is he a great kisser. He just for some reason is not ready for a relationship.....and I have no clue why. He has been honest with me about that and I have tried to let him go in my heart and walk away but I am haunted by his smile and the way he looks at me.....I see something in his eyes that is so special and I believe that he loves me too and will not admit it to himself......OMG I said loves me too.....I love this man....
I can't date anyone else.......I love this man.... | |
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