| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/12/2007 12:38:32 PM | I most definitely read this from your posts OP.....and I am glad that you have come to this realization, even if it means only loving him and not having the love returned, or at least for now.
Even having the chance to love someone, feel those magical feelings, and experience only brief moments of exhilaration in their presence is sometimes more than others will experience in a lifetime and so it should be treasured.
For whatever reason this man is not ready for commitment, in time he may be, but if not you have felt LOVE.........
Peace and good luck to you..... | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/12/2007 1:36:38 PM | it may not be true in your case but in psychology
you have this phenomenon
where the POWER is with the person who rejects the
other person. so you need to look at
if this were true.
i agree with wicked &wise sometimes even having one sided
feelings of love could be rewarding,,,,,
just dont get too obsessed | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/12/2007 8:54:01 PM | Congratulations on facing your feelings! I hope it does work. Good luck OP. (but, like I said, - hook me up! ) | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:37:43 PM |
I most definitely read this from your posts OP.....and I am glad that you have come to this realization, even if it means only loving him and not having the love returned, or at least for now.
Even having the chance to love someone, feel those magical feelings, and experience only brief moments of exhilaration in their presence is sometimes more than others will experience in a lifetime and so it should be treasured.
For whatever reason this man is not ready for commitment, in time he may be, but if not you have felt LOVE.........
Peace and good luck to you.....
I'm afraid that was not love, but a few moments of strong feelings, LOVE is sustained and never ends, true love is forever. It doesn't happen in such a short time, it never does, it grows and when you get to know the person then it blossoms. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:39:07 PM | I most definitely read this from your posts OP.....and I am glad that you have come to this realization, even if it means only loving him and not having the love returned, or at least for now.
Even having the chance to love someone, feel those magical feelings, and experience only brief moments of exhilaration in their presence is sometimes more than others will experience in a lifetime and so it should be treasured.
For whatever reason this man is not ready for commitment, in time he may be, but if not you have felt LOVE.........
Peace and good luck to you.....
I'm afraid that was not love, but a few moments of strong feelings, LOVE is sustained and never ends, true love is forever. It doesn't happen in such a short time, it never does, it grows and when you get to know the person then it blossoms.
only brief moments of exhilaration in their presence is sometimes more than others will experience in a lifetime and so it should be treasured.
What do you mean more then MOST people may experiance?? I don't think that is accurate with all do respect.!! Again this comment on a "brief moment" is not love I am afraid, it MAY be a sense of close connection, but certainly not love. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/12/2007 11:13:52 PM |
Just not sure how to get over him. He knows what to say to keep me right here waiting.
OP, that to me is a big red flag right there. Don't buy into the fantasy - you may think you're in 'love', but in reality, you are leaking a huge amount of energy to guy #1 - and he's working it. People who do this are psychic vampires - they know exactly what to say to keep stringing you along. People like this love the attention, and he may well keep stringing you along right up until the day he announces he's finally met 'the one' for him, and it's not you. And yes, I speak from experience, I used to be addicted to men like this.
I'd hazard a guess that one of your parents was similarly emotionally unavailable for you growing up, and that's why you can't get over this attraction. You need to get him out of your life, go cold turkey for a while, and give yourself a chance to see what might happen with guy #2 (or guy #3 or whoever). | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/13/2007 1:06:44 AM |
I love this man
Well you have the answer to your question. You are not over the first guy. How do you get over him? Unfrotunately the truth in the matter lies in his one statement to you about "not wanting a relationship right now".
When someone says they do not want, or are not ready for, a relationship it can only mean two things
-they dont want the relationship with you
-OR they just haven't found someone they want to have that relationship with yet
Sorry about that. I have no doubt your feelings are real, but if they arent being returned then it is only the thoughts in your head that is keeping it alive. You are imagining what it is that you want so much that youlook for it and in everything he does. When you perceive he looks at you that way, then Im sure he does care, but does not have the feelings strong enough to be with you romantically and exclusively because from my experience, if a guy wants to be with you, nothing short of the law, war or natural disaster will stop him. And even then those three are debatable.....
Been there, done that. And I'm sorry it is happening to you. Unrequited love can be a horrible feeling But the good news is that you can get over it. Stop contact with the guy until you stop thinking about all these romantic notions. Otherwise you will never free your head/heart up to go out with another guy who is probably just waiting to be your next Mr Perfect.... | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/13/2007 3:46:17 AM | | You're not ready for a relationship. Like myself, I cling to the UNAVAILABLE..mainly because I don't want to be controlled by the obligations of a relationship...despite whining about not being in one. Yeah..it's true. Intimacy issues are prevalent amongst women in this modern age. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/13/2007 6:52:27 AM | Perhaps I have mistaken "lust" for "love". Yes!
I have chosen to walk away in either regard. I am no longer available to him under any circumstance ever. I refuse to put myself through any more grief or pain over him. There are way too many great guys out there who will treat me right..... My Thanks to all of you who have helped me.......I truly appreciate it! | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/13/2007 7:15:32 AM | Here is a quote from a lady friend of mine"women want what they can't have".
AS far as seeing someone else in front of you other then the one your with,I do know that feeling.Been there!
Good Luck | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/13/2007 11:42:44 AM | Honey,
Let him go. You are not ready for a relationship with him. Give urself some space to forget about the other loser who wasnt ready for commitment. If he is still there when u are ready then it was ment to be. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 1/13/2007 7:14:06 PM | | Hey just, I'm too late, you figured it out! The 2nd guy, he was just perfect, that's the problem, everything in place, knew what to say and what to do and when to say and do it, lives life out of the manual all the 'silver spoon' guys read, no edge, boring as h*ll. The 1st guy, all the chemistry, some rough edges to make life interesting, but in the end he couldn't keep all that charm AND make a commitment. It's a conundrum, probably neither is the ticket. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 9/22/2007 9:35:12 AM | Hi justagirl64
First of all you are confusing pain with love. The painful thoughts and feelings are coming up because they are not resolved. All you have to do to overcome being obsessed with the guy who you feel rejected you is to change the way you are looking at the situation, forgive him and own your decision to move on with the new guy.
You say the guy has made it quite clear that he is not emotionally ready for a relationship. Its been said here women want what they can not have but the truth is; its not that you want that guy your just "not accepting" the fact that he is not ready for a relationship and instead taking it personally like it means there is something wrong with you.
The guy is not ready for a relationship, it does not make "him wrong" or " you wrong". Not every guy who comes into your life is the one for you. Feeling hurt and rejected over it only keeps you from being available to someone else.
Realize that you have a choice. You can stop judging the guy and insisting that he satisfy you. This will free you to be available to the new guy. Have fun be happy!
Forgiveness and acceptance are the keys to all happy, loving relationships. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 9/22/2007 10:22:03 AM | OP
You keep saying he's not ready for a relationship and you don't know why...
99.99 times out of a hundred he's just not completing the sentence to help you understand why. The whole sentence is...
"I'm just not ready for a relationship WITH YOU." Write that on a clue stick and hit yourself in the head with it for awhile.
BTW, just because #2 was superficially ideal on the first date does not mean that he would be easy to get into a relationship either. You know nothing, other than he was interested in having the date go well and whatever may follow from that. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 9/22/2007 10:26:39 AM | We always want what we can't have..I think it's our way of making sure we stay miserable...
I will have one guy who is a total ass, one guy who is great...I'll pick the ass every dang time.. | |
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| The perfect guy
Posted: 9/22/2007 10:37:53 AM | Maybe you need to realize that you can't fix guys. They don't want to be fixed, they just are who they are.....
So stop thinking that "Mr. in the past" will suddenly become "Mr. Right" and everything will be as you've always dreamed it to be. He had made it clear that you are not the one for him.
Soooo... Grab those bootstraps gal and pull yourself back up into life and know that you do deserve "Mr. Wonderful"  | |
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