| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 1/16/2007 9:51:55 PM | Matt
i agreed with every single word....smile
You can never have too many friends in this world
But you are right....if they dont even have the decency to say hi back....be polite just for a split second in their busy life then they dont deserve your second thoughts
its hurts for a second that people can be so shallow...but then move on....smile....message the next person....they just may be worthy of your friendship.....smile
Deb | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 1/17/2007 3:12:59 PM | | I believe one would have respect and reply to a kind message. One can never have too many friends if the chemistry is not there--simply just by a photo. One cannot judge just by seeing a photo. Beauty comes from within. Getting to know the person inside out is what makes a relationship to me. In time, looks fade. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:55:51 AM | Well I made the mistake of saying thanks but no thanks to one guy, who sent back (over three emails) a scathing reply, letting me know how adorable and caring and interesting and funny and touchy-feely he was... and ooh he's also a model and in the top ten (regularly) on RSVP... and good luck with the dead beats I would meet here...
So how bad did I feel for turning down the date of the century?
I replied so why are you still here and alone then? | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 1/22/2007 11:58:31 PM | I make an effort to reply to all messages I receive (well when my computer isn't deciding to crash and burn and go on vacation that is), but I have found even the most polite 'thanks but no' response can bring about a scathing reply much like Delaware mentioned above. Perhaps that's why some choose to simply read and ignore a message rather than send the 'not interested' reply.
But despite the occasional abuse, I still think it's common courtesy to acknowledge the message. How the person decides to react is out of your hands. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 1/23/2007 6:19:14 PM | | I would reply but i hardly receive any messages myself. I think i must be doing something wrong but i have yet to discover on what that is. Most women i send a message to dont bother replying and boy does it annoy me. Maybe 1 in every 10 messages i send i will get a reply. Many women have stated to your reply they would be kind enough to reply to messages even if they were not a match but i have yet to see that happen! | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:53:38 PM | | Well for me, I find it a lot easier to not reply than to reply saying that I'm not interested. And its not out of lack of respect or common courtesy because I know how hard it is to send that initial message, its just something I can't bring myself to do. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 1/24/2007 12:35:49 AM | So glad I responded to one person in here whose photo was downright terrible - so blurry you could barely tell it was human (sorry J).
Made a friend and we've had some very funny video chats over a couple of months.. No flying sparks when we met but the dogs had a great time and the wine was great!
I find the way with words is an attraction in itself, and often check out and message ppl whose profiles have no pic. I find it interesting to see how long it takes people to ask for my pic too. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/1/2007 9:23:30 PM | I reply to everyone regardless... if a woman messages me who I don't find attractive or don't think I would hit it off with, I let them know politely I don't think they're my type.
I only ever contact women I think I have a reasonable chance of getting on with, although some people can be very abrupt & rude.
I IM'd one lady who was 41 and looking for a fella (I'm 46). She replied 'you're too old'. I said, 'that's a bit rough considering it's only a 5 year difference'. Her reply was '**** off & leave me alone'. She then blocked me and closed the dialogue box.
That was the sum total of the exchange. Good luck to the bloke who ends up with her, but I thought she was a rude cow.
A simple 'thanks for your message, but you're not the type of man I'm looking for', would have been fine. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/1/2007 11:28:09 PM | Jeez aSydneymale - that's a bit rough!! She done dissed you good!! Five years difference is no biggie and nothing to get rude about... More likely it's her whole personality. What if you had met her in the flesh at some place where mature people meet (wherever that may be)? She might've decked you for being so forward!!!
Sometimes it's good to be able to type - you can read and take the words back before pressing enter! | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/2/2007 2:32:40 AM | You're right, of course, Delaware, I think she saved me the trouble of finding out later she had no manners, by being a pig right from the off.
Not like a nice refined Melbourne lady of course.... | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:43:12 PM | I find it hard to reply to ones that don't have photos, These days its not that hard to get your photo online. And the ones that msg me without one I feel maby they're uncomfortable with the way they look, or they think they're unattractive.
In my experience ive replied in the past and its like a blind date, I meet them for the first time in person and its also the first time ive seen them.. very awkward position to be in if you don't find anything physically responsive.
I have allot less tolerance I guess these days, mainly because i get screwed around too much by women and half due to letting them because im such a pushover when it comes to them. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:11:24 AM | hey sydney boy - I'm no lady - don't wind me up!!!
my sympathy is dissipating......
but seriously, I have had rude replies to my "delicate thanks but no thanks" too, I just block 'em and talk to my nice guys.
I know he's out there - maybe not here, but POF is never less than entertaining..... | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:50:17 AM | I would rather not reply than send a message saying that im not interested. I know i would feel a bit rejected if someone send me a message that said 'sorry not interested'. i would rather not get a reply at all. Also i rarely be the first one to send a message guess im a bit shy to do that  | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/6/2007 3:16:56 AM | Yes I do reply if there is no attraction.
I don't really like to say I'm not interested but I think it's only polite to respond.
Sometimes I wait a bit though.
I guess though if I didn't reply, they would take it that I wasn't interested?
One time I didn't reply because I didn't know what to write and the guy messaged me back only the next day and started calling me ignorant and rude and stuckup and up myself!!! | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/9/2007 4:34:05 PM | hey all 1st time posting in a forum.
abt the subject. i agree with 90% of u, its common deceny to reply weater there attracted to u or not. they mite judge u by nicname or photo and ul get unread deleted which means they should join the paris hilton fan club. if the read deleted as sum else said there prob not worth knowing anyway. 1 woman have me the mest reply ever where she wrote she read my profile and just didnt see anything we had in common and good luck in my search and hope i find sum1. sum reply to me we chat for a few msgs but nothing comes of it but at least they replied. so yeah found very few decent women who will actualy reply but u can tell the have morals and manners. thats my 2 cents see u all on the flip side
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/9/2007 4:44:07 PM | since i joined this site ive spent the majority of my time on the forums because thats all im on this site for.
i state clearly in my profile that im have someone therefore i am not interested in dating, relationships or any intimate encounters.
yet there seem to be alot of STUPID PATHETIC MORONIC individuals out there who seem to not be able to read profiles. Either they don't read them or seem to think that my profile is just a cover up and really what i want is to shag every man on here.
Do i reply? yes and i shoot them down too. i gave them warning in my profile yet if they seem to think they are beyond it then they deserve every bit of nastiness from me that i can give them.
and i tell you something, those who say "any response is better than none" think again because they are usually the ones that get nasty when you give them the thanks but no thanks line. | |
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ebgdae
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/9/2007 4:45:01 PM | This is one of those things in the singles game that has no answer.
It's typical of the fable of the father, his son and the donkey.
No matter what you do you won't please everyone.
Some will be pissed off with a brief curt answer or no answer at all. Others will be pissed off worse if you detail the reasons why they're being REJECTED!
If you write a really lovely well-phrased compassionate answer some will take this as having a foot in the door and a reason to persist.
The dating game has high highs and low lows and everything in between. You'll just have to accept this dilemma as part of the game. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/10/2007 12:27:20 AM | Yes that is so true egbdae. If you try not to hurt somebody's feelings and not reply, then they get all huffy and say that you are stuckup and rude but when you do explain that you are just not attracted to them, they still say that you are stuckup and rude!!!
Surely if you are on one of these sites and it's a matter of showing your photo and describing yourself, then you are putting yourself out there and not everyone will like you or want you - the same as in real life. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 2/11/2007 1:42:48 AM | Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?........Yes i do with a nice there is no attraction do i have to give a reason?.........I really dont think so but as long as you have respect and write it in manner that doesnt degrade the person then its all good.......So much drama sometimes over a few words use the read delete feature works well lol | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 5/10/2007 6:12:46 AM | | I reply to all messages, it isn't fair to make a judgement on somebody based on their profile/pictures. The only way I can truly tell if someone is "my type" is to email or chat to them for a while to see how things develop. I understand that this might be more difficult for women since most seem to receive a lot of emails so they tend to be a lot more picky, but the way I see it is that if someone has taken the time to read my profile and write to me I should extend them the same courtesy and take a few minutes out of my day to send a reply. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 5/10/2007 6:22:53 AM | | Like the OP, I have done both. I started with the polite 'no thanks' reply and after a few pushy replies decided deleting it without replying was the best approach. If they e mail me again, I reply and let them know I am not interested but, once again, that usually triggers something off in them. I think it is then best to block user and be done with it. Just my opinion of the best way to approach it. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 5/11/2007 4:35:05 AM | Usually i answer to all messages, if person does spend time to wright message they may have a bit of respekt.
Totally ignore spammers and unreasonably rude mails, dont like me - dont write to me save youre emotions for some one who care/interested... | |
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