| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 5/11/2007 3:08:31 PM | How does one define attraction? Well in my neck of the woods it's liking what they say or how they say it combined with an indefinable something in their pic. If there is a mental connection and even a faint possibility of chemistry, I'll give it a whirl. Of course you can't know for sure about anything unless you meet.
I always reply to any reasonable message, even if it's just to say that I don't think we would be a match but to wish them luck. What does it cost? I wouldn't ignore someone on the street so I apply the same rules here. I've never had a negative response, but if they want to be a jerk, I'm quite capable of being a jerk back! | |
|
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 5/12/2007 12:34:01 AM | okay somtimes!! I do the one liner hi...sent a Hi to nice guy in Melbourne and yes he sent a sweet email back to me. since then we have chatted sevral times back and fourth
today sevral times YES THAT WAS 7 so every one had a way of emailing someone.I do always make the effort to say hi..how has your day been or you week..kindness goes furthure than being just out right RUDE. | |
|
| |
| |
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 5/12/2007 5:28:24 PM | | I try to reply to all my messages. But there are always a few that slip through the gaps.. and some I don't reply to on principle (ie - the "hey sxc wanna cyber?!" type messages. I figure anyone that sends a message like that to me will only take a polite reply as encouragement. | |
|
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 5/13/2007 5:43:48 AM | I reply to everybody who's taken time to message me. Personally, I don't see a problem with saying 'thank you but not thank you'. No need to explain, 'No' can and it is a full sentence. If there's a second email to my 'no', then I delete without replying, as my original intention was clear enough.
I can understand that someone who receives dozens of messages a day might tend to simplify his/her choices. I would imagine that chosing not to follow up with someone after a first contact has more to do with the person emailing you not fitting your list of essentials. As for attraction,, can any of you really measure 'attraction' by an initial email? In any case, being polite has always been the easiest decision for me. Politeness and assertiveness surely make one feel better about oneself, and that in turns, must trigger the law of attraction.... scratching head now.
bye for now
B | |
|
| |
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 5/13/2007 1:00:24 PM | I think it's just plain courtesy to message back..I have had a few gents message me and wished me all the best,but they for they own reason are not interested...
Alot of people would rather know whats going on than sit and wonder... | |
|
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/2/2007 2:39:16 AM | I always reply... I think it's rude not to!
Having said that... most of the time I reply with some stupid comment that means nothing, sarcasm works wonders and sometimes a bit cheeky without being rude.
 "BlooP" | |
|
| |
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/2/2007 5:19:20 PM | | You are right, kindness is free but I, unfortunately, am not willing to give it so freely these days. I now simply delete and if I get another e mail from that person being rude etc, I just delete and block. I am not here to humour or entertain jerks. | |
|
| |
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/2/2007 5:29:16 PM | hey markII - that is so right!
no wondering, watching, waiting, hoping - you get nothing in return then you know not to waste your time any further.
i think the key is not to take these things personally - dont take it was a put-down, or a rejection. turn it around - maybe, just maybe they did you a favour and saved you some heartache! | |
|
batie
|
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 64 | |
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/2/2007 6:57:23 PM | Some very interesting comments and thought on this matter, reply or not.
I know i try an experment once (not on this site) where i put up 2 profiles one with a photo one with out, sent out 50 old emails from both of them to woman with photos and no photo's.
What was interesting about is that i got the same amount of reply's to both of them, and that was about 3 to each. (guess i'm not the best catch)
I still can't work out is how people can judge from a pic or a single email, i think it takes time to talk to people before you know how u feel.
But in saying that i have my own hang ups in replying to so people.
But at all times i think take a couple of minutes out of your day have a chat or send an email, you never know where it could end up, with a great friend the most intense couple of months of your life or a couple of wasted minutes.
Looks and profiles with or without photo's don't tell u the real story.
And yes i allways reply to all measages (not that i get many) but the one i don't reply to could of been the one that i was waiting for.
batie | |
|
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/2/2007 7:43:46 PM | The nasty crap I either ignore or send a one sentence 'thanks for the laugh' reply, but I always will reply to nice messages...maybe not straight away, but I do. Without meaning to sound like I'm tooting my own horn, I get a fair bit of positive mail and there is no way I could continue to chat with all of them. Forum people I've seen around the traps I'll always chat with here and there on a friends basis, but for a complete stranger making contact for the purpose of the whole dating thang, well it depends if they seem interesting without being odd. Just a personal taste thing. And I reply in kind..if they send one line and don't sign their name, they get the same level of effort from me back. If they write a proper letter, then I try and put more effort in even if I'm just saying no thanks. Also, I find saying no thanks rather awkward to be honest, and I struggle to be as inoffensive as I can be cos, unlike some on PoF, I have no desire to offend someone who has not offended me.
I still can't work out is how people can judge from a pic or a single email, i think it takes time to talk to people before you know how u feel.
Batie, I know what you mean by this, but well before internet dating sites, people have made judgements from people from their first look at them. The whole "our eyes met across a crowded room"...I mean, that's not about getting a feeling about their personality or intellect is it! And then there's the opening line when you approached someone in a pub/club...it could always make or break the conversation, just like that first email can. It's just a different mode of occurrence. At least with this it comes with profile text too. We all get a bit more of a shot at it with some description of who we are rather than just the visual and first email. | |
|
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/2/2007 9:09:58 PM | I reply to messages if a bit of effort is put into them.
I even reply to 20 year old "wanna root?" emails..........."yeah sure,i probably look like your mum naked" seems to dampen their interest somewhat!
"Hi, how are you"........i dont even consider this worth replying to.
Overseas email makes me instantly suspicious.
I often intentionally leave it a few days before replying to see if the abusive "you did'nt reply" email arrives
It is polite to reply but experience has taught me that some men even view a thanks but no thanks as a green light.
Yeah im a b1tch.............. | |
|
| |
| |
batie
|
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 69 | |
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/2/2007 9:28:38 PM | you should look at this way 20yr olds chasing you got to be good for the ego, hell if a 20 yr old emailed me, after i had the heart attack and the laughing i'd have to feel good i think, depeands on the drugs at heart ward at hospital.
think yourself lucky
batie | |
|
| |
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/2/2007 9:37:30 PM | Batie......i guess it is flattering and very funny,but at my age you gotta be careful, as my last young emailer said "i would hate you to lose control and break a hip".......could be the begining of the end at my age!! | |
|
| |
| |
| |
atalia
|
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 75 | |
| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/2/2007 9:53:18 PM | Yeah can we call him an old man instead, old fella keeps painting pictures in my mind.
I always reply no matter what the attraction, its manners, if they choose to take it the wrong way, or reply rudely it says a lot about their personality. We are on here to meet people and their reaction just helps to easily weed them out.
Dont make yourself as bad as they are. | |
|
Home
login 
