| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/11/2007 9:17:08 PM | That was funny DJ, that may be the worlds first dating-site auto responder, please insert a girls name (here) lololol, Oh look I got an email from (here) lololol, she can certainly string pieces of random information together.... I think I love her...... (error detected, would you like to report it to microsoft?)
As for the topic, you should respond to everything, even some really nice people sometimes have problems communicating, hiyttt and fthjcery aduyinh, Iohgf.
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/12/2007 12:18:09 AM | I love it more when you get a decent length email and take the time to reply - and then find 'read deleted' and that you've been blocked too. I'm gonna have to learn to read a bit more carefully, because looking back on the email I'd replied to, it appeared to be a standard format multiple mailout
... hmm, in the absence of the do-not-date list I must put the feelers out to see if any other forum females got identical xeroxed emails too. . .
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/12/2007 4:45:06 PM | I don't usually send e mails. The ones I do send are to people from the forum.
I don't search nor have I ever paid to contact a member on another site. I just come on the forums for a little fun and to make friends. Never been one of those serial 'internet dater' like some people. Only ever met a handfull of the ones that have contacted me. Some people even sign up on multiple sites with their profile saying the same thing on each site. that just screams desperation, in my opinion. I just don't take it seriously. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/12/2007 11:40:28 PM | well marley I for one am far from desperate - my god with 4 jobs and 2 teenagers I hardly have time to scratch myself let alone feel desperate!
believe me the equation of meeting someone becomes far more difficult when you live in a small town and have done so for all your life - you either end up dating some obscure relative or some dodo who used to hold up the bar when you were out drinking 20 years ago - and hey guess what they are still there at that same bar stool!
so desperate, no. resourceful and using the internet to open up a whole new world and loads of fabulous non-related people - absolutely.
as far as replying to message - sometimes i do, sometimes i don't. but generally say thanks and I wish you luck! | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/13/2007 12:58:56 AM | I figure that if you meet in real life and someone strikes up a conversation with you, you respond. I don't see any difference between that or answering messages here. I just wish people would read profiles first to see if you and the other person have something in common or what the other person is looking for. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/13/2007 1:02:19 AM | | Yeah some people do not seem to read your profile at all. I also think people should keep track of what and who they message. I have had duplicate messages from the same people saying the same thing. The good old cut and paste! | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/13/2007 1:41:41 AM | Yeah some people do not seem to read your profile at all. I also think people should keep track of what and who they message. I have had duplicate messages from the same people saying the same thing. The good old cut and paste!
eeerr sorry...........what was that? lololol | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/13/2007 3:31:10 AM | small towns..gee i know that one, everyone knows who your been out with before you get home.
thank god for the internete.
Have not dated in my town for 12 years,
& this sight & others like it are the only a way of meeting people that your would never see out & about
I work really bad hours.(shift work) ten days straight, & a 4 day weekend every other one..
no TV either..
so yer, anwer all emails..write a few..
have fun, & maybe one day find someone..
never desperate..
hate cold showers, but thats another forum...
 
smile
whitedragon | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:58:20 PM | While many people feel this topic has been "done to death" I would disagree as there are always new members, new to online dating that might benefit from the ongoing debate. I have been wondering about this very topic a bit lately so I'm glad I have had the opportunity to read through some of your thoughts. Thank you.
What really burns me is when somebody writes in their profile that they respond to "all messages - even if its just a thanks, but no thanks" and then don't. I read one such profile, put a fair bit of effort into writing an email to her with comments that showed I'd read her profile... and got no response. Now I'm not into one liners and I believe I can put a few words together coherently so it was not a cut and paste job. She read it (though it took her a week) and then just patently ignored it. I'm not into 2nd and 3rd attempts so if someone can't be bothered responding the 1st time I now take the attitude that they're not for me.
Honestly, what is so hard about using the manners your parents taught you? When someone talks to you you listen, and then you respond. How you respond is up to you isn't it? | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/20/2008 5:56:24 PM | ^^ I agree! Lots of people tend to re-invent themselves in profiles looking to receive as much attention as possible. This may be acceptable to some, we all want attention right.....but what you end up with is a misleading (fake) profile. I'm sure lots of people have experienced this and found the person they either met or talked to was the complete opposite of what was written in their profile.
I reply to all messages regardless of the picture or the profile content, often taking it further and getting to know them through a chat. How can you possibly judge a person before getting to know them first? So there's no inital spark or attraction, maybe it was just a bad picture, maybe the attraction will develop over time. The way I see it is if someone takes the effort to write me a few words, the least I can do is write back. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:45:40 AM | yeah i reply to all messages, however i know i got an instant message one time and through complete incompetence on my behalf i managed to 'loose' it and never could find the person that sent me it........that probably came over to the other person as no i'm not responding and me being rude...i actually felt a bit bad about that, cause i know i appreciate it when i get a response of any sort...
When i respond even if i'm not really 'interested' in a meet up kind of way i always send an open email that can lead to a conversation. I'm happy to chat to anyone...usually..
All i need is maybe more than 1 email every 2 months or so... | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:59:26 AM | Wow - thread from the dead!
In the end it doesn't matter, however yeah sometimes it's a little bit of a curiosity who chooses to contact you or not reply to yours. I'm very selective in who I contact so when I get a "deleted" without even a cursory glance it's a little perplexing, but basically always respond to any contact I get, even if it's just "we're not in the same demographic but happy to chat" kinda thing.
But yeah - not worth stressing about, we're not running out of people on this planet! | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:40:44 PM | I take each message individually and treat them accordingly, like for example if they have taken the trouble to read my profile and are within the realms of possibility I will respond and take it from there. If they are way too young/old/far away or outside my personal boundaries, like a 23 yo saying "hi hun, wanna hook up for hot sex tonite babe, im hung like a horse" etc etc then they will be "read deleted"
I have had duplicate messages from the same people saying the same thing
and that's just annoying, then they get all snotty when ya remind em they already said that lol
ronda :)  | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:23:33 PM | | I always reply to messages, but thats me, I like to be polite. Have had messages ignored and that only proves to me that the person I messaged is definitely not for me, I dislike rude people. A courteous hi, will always suffice. | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/22/2008 1:14:59 AM | | bloody well said matt! a little bit of courtesy goes a long way to getting a feel for the person who has caught ur eye! i dont think it hurts to be up front+ like they say, honesty will always be the best policy! | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:49:07 AM | Good thinking Matt
I have had the same experience (Read and deleted). And I have replied to all the short hellos I have received and will always reply. I can't really delete a message without replying (unless it has offensive content) | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 7/19/2008 12:02:01 PM | Yes, to a point. If there is no "right now" attraction & if the emails are interesting enough, why not reply? As long as within the first or second email you can be honest enough to write: "I don't think we are a match" ...blah blah...or whatever you have to say & not lead anyone on. I'd prefer to get a "no thanks" email (of course, that's if he's not interested.... otherwise :)
I sometimes will send a random email to someone that I've had contact with before, whether I've met them or not in person, because sometimes you find people that are really interesting people :) It also takes time to find out about people. That, of course, depends on the individuals to respond or read/delete from there :)
It's better than guessing (& a wee bit rude) when you get no response upon FIRST contact! After that....you're on your own :) | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:10:42 PM | Maybe I have been very fortunate and have only ever recieved good e-mails.
I always reply to all the corresondence on here as I would always like a reply from anyone I contact.
Even if it is just a quick no thanks and even some reason as to why, if you have the time.
Feedback is always welcome both positive or negative.
I also scan people who have nominated me as a favourite and contact them to know why and why they wouldn't have e-mailed me first.
I have also contacted ladies who have rated my picture and got some feedback from them.
This is a great site if you are open and honest. I can pick the looneys most times.
ciao for now,
GSXKing | |
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| Do you reply to messages if there is no attraction?
Posted: 8/4/2008 9:29:23 PM | Yes I answer all Emails.
Only ones I dont answer are off the wall ones, tho they have been only a few.
Everyone else has been pretty cool.
Yes I answer one liners.
If I met someone on the street, they say how are you.
Why should it any different here?
Its also is their way ,of feeling their way to see if I will reply.
I also agree with some other posters who said how can you say attracted, not attracted by a profile or a picture ( most pics are years old anyway)
Some that I havent thought I would be attracted to I have found some great things about them that I like after we communicate.
Ive made some good friends and internet friends which I wouldnt of made if I had closed that door. As saltower said. Get back to Friendship, Date, go from there. What have you got to lose? You have a new friend If nothing else. I know my social life here on POF has been good.
Who knows what the future holds He might be here he may not be, But Im enjoying life some of it is due to POF
A partner is a friend first, You get to know them and build on that.
These who choose to read delete well their not my kind of person anyway.
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I also lost a message in Im I did try to find them. I didnt want them to think I was being rude | |
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