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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/8/2007 5:21:32 PM | fine job!
there are just a couple things to answer as you pointed out. I stated the nature of my business ...It is clear by the mention I started a business...through my experience as a sales rep in a similar industry.
I loved your review, I do wish also to mention I am not:
Not anywhere...
near-perfect
I am not
an intellectual
(I am smart, but not all smart people are intellectuals --big difference.)
Debonair poet...perhaps. Not so much the debonair ...and I am not at all by best writing as far as poetry and songwriting, so maybe a no there after all
Which is...Perfectly cool!
After all it is all about perception...and as far as the subtleties...everyone is different, as I asked for yours and got it, it is neither correct or incorrect, it's your unique perspective and I value that…and just what I asked for.
Thanks again, and don't get too overwhelmed here...
Best of luck with this thread...you are off to a shiny start! | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/9/2007 12:34:57 PM | Day trip to Monterey cannery?
Santa Cruz downtown mid morning shopping followed by a picnic on the beach?
Pismo beach bonfire, roast winnies and smores...and huge container of clam chowder from that place that has won more awards than....
you may want to check ~ possibly start a different thread in a different forum for this.
I am not sure what the mods think about this..
I've made some minor changes on my profile...what do you think? | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/9/2007 12:41:58 PM | I've already given a deluxe special size review for you :) so I'll keep it short.
The minor changes I see are few, but good.
In my opinion, that's for the best, because you have an excellent profile, and you tread a fine line between humor, arrogance/crass, and possibly even being too good to be true, meaning you balance on a point in three-dimensional space! ;-P
Anyway, If any mod is unsure what to do about what I asked, I ask them to please message me directly so we can work it out, as I'd be embarrassed to have an unexpected black mark on my record.
~ David
PS: I was sorta asking more if the idea itself was a good one, regarding the first date stuff... I think it's best to play it safe and leave the suggestions at that, to avoid ruling them out as possibilities for others. | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:06:46 PM | Tyberious,
It is often thought, almost to the exclusion of any other ideal, that a perfect profile is different from all the others in some special way. I admit, I am prey to this anti-herd mentality, but you avoid both sides of the spectrum and give us something very special.
As far as unassuming, humble, and inviting profiles go, yours could be the gold standard for Ontario in general once given a little polish.
The order you mention everything in has a strange elegance to it. It's easy to tell that you are creative with more than just power tools, and such multiplicity of skill is a very special thing.
Now, enough talking about how great it is. You have a few things you can work on:
1) Some spelling errors, and quite a few sentences that seem to be incomplete. I see this a lot. I think people should try to check their typing as they type the thing itself. That's what I do, and it certainly contributes to my effectiveness as a writer.
2) Don't change anything else for as long as you are the person described here, so until you maybe have a crisis or a shocking event in your life that changes you, I suggest you keep this as is.
You have a real gem. Just polish it, and you'll be getting quite a lot of impressive offers.
That's my appraisal.
~ David | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:07:02 PM | I was requesting a look because technicially that would make my post legit. They have some rigid rules (with a good reason behind them) what you are requesting is cool to me, but the mods may see it as an infraction...they may even feel themselves it a good idea, but are constrained to enforce the rules, as naturally when rules are bent for someone EVERYONE would want the rules to be bent for them.
fine job!
*edit* thought I was emailing this to you!!! I think I've had way tooo much coffee...
thanks for the review!!!
--Bill | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/10/2007 3:38:47 PM | Riley Red Rose,
I'm honored to do your review, and first of all, let me say this: looking at your profile, your pictures, and your testimonials...
... It's no surprise that you're from Ontario! 
Your one-liners are funny, poignant, and illustrative of a wizened character whose adventures could fill a million bestseller novels.
The pictures you have up are very good. You look like a person who would stand out in a crowd, rather than just another member of the Human Race.
Your profile is short, sweet, and to the point. The point, besides describing who you are, is a bit difficult to pick up.
Also, I have already read much of your posts on the forums, so my intuitive feelings on those and my intuitive feelings about your profile are similar enough for it to be difficult to see as deeply into who is behind the profile as I usually do.
Still, all I know is that your SO(s) were/are/will be(?) very, very lucky.
Wait... you adopted a guy off the forums...
~ David | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/10/2007 3:48:45 PM | Trav1887,
Before I say this, realize: this is a double-edged sword...
Your profile almost reads like a children's book.
Now that's mostly good for you, in my opinion, because it means you have a style you can work with as you improve your profile...
But first, let me explain how you achieve this ideally innocent feeling in your profile:
1) your sentences are short, humble, and simple. Don't change that if you're a sweet, loving guy like you say. It really made me think you'll be thought of as a teddy bear by the better girls around here.
2) you don't use any wit, or try to come off as smart, special, or anything else in particular. You don't even try to be humble. You just are. One word describes that achievement and the success with which you got it: wow.
Alright, now that that's out of the way, this is what *does* need work...
You should separate the different subjects you talk about with double spacing. This way, you'll not only have the "small amount of text, turn the page" aspect added to the feel of your profile, but also, your profile will be a joy to read, and will make many a lovely lady smile the way few profiles can make a woman smile.
Finally, I think you can actually afford to add a bit more about yourself, and even the kind of girl you'd like, as long as you keep it simple, kind, and nice.
Trust me, this may seem counter-intuitive to the "nice-guys finish last" mentality around here, but honestly, you're the kind of nice guy who will probably get very lucky.
Good job, and keep working at it!
~ David | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/10/2007 4:01:40 PM | David,
Thanks for the review and anytime you want to come to Ontario, we will welcome you with open arms.
Great job you are doing and I will forwarn you my friend, it can be rewarding and sometimes thankless. (Profile Reviews that is).
However I find this amusing that billbutler, Mr. Big Stuff and yourself are a Taurus. I found that amusing. All three of you do a good job.
David again all the best and Keep Up The Good Work.
Yes I adopted a son and a daughter from off here.
~Riley | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/10/2007 4:02:23 PM | wow thanks a lot man. I appreciate how you replied, it was simple and to the point. I also appreciate the fact that you were't totally brutal the was some ppl's reviews were, which made it easier to read and accept.
all and all i really appreciate it all
thanks
Travis | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/10/2007 4:09:21 PM | Trav1887,
I've seen the kind of brutality you're talking about, and I don't like it either.
Riley Red Rose,
If I'm ever going to be in Ontario, I know who to call. I'm fascinated that two other reviewers are also Taureans! As an astrologer that fascinates me immensely!
Oh, and to both of you:
you're so very welcome! :-)
~ David | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/10/2007 5:44:49 PM | halbailman,
As far as not scaring women away, you're doing fine. You come off as a very safe, friendly guy.
The thing is, you may want to add some spice.
Nothing in the profile really made me stop and think, which is important to achieve, as long as it's about you and it's a positive thing they're unconsciously thinking.
I think your grammar and punctuation are great, the profile is perfectly readable, but it isn't all that much fun to read, unfortunately.
Now I really think the best resource you have to fix this is the multitude of other things about yourself that you didn't mention... You put up some pretty serious interests, as in likely to catch a person's attention... *that's* what made me want to finish the profile at all...
Talk about those interests a little. In your case, it's something that should help add excitement to the profile.
Still, I never thought, "Red Flag!", so you're doing a lot of things right, don't get me wrong. In fact, I think you need to realize that every... other... thing... about your profile that I didn't mention is excellent.
Maybe you could try spacing the text out a bit to give a feeling of flow, and it really makes a difference, trust me!
The other thing: Testimonials... The fact that you have such a good testimonial is very important, actually. It tells me you have more to offer than is listed here..
Focus on that.
~ David | |
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dallus
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Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 44 | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/10/2007 7:05:06 PM | dallus,
I think you have done a few things right, and a few things wrong, with most of it hanging on the thin line that basically leads to few emails...
Put simply, your use of emoticons is very nice, first of all. Nice touch, tasteful, very good.
The coors girl sentence... not so good.
Your description of your interests as far as women? You have a good start, but I also know how you can make it really work.
You mention partying and playing games... At first, I knew women would read this wrong On The Spot... I think you're thinking of going to friends' houses and playing board games, video games, things like that, right? ...Maybe Twister? If that's the case, be specific about it, because that kind of interest in good clean fun is a trait women want. It means you don't just want to get laid.
So as far as livening up the content, that's the basic formula right there: read it from a woman's perspective, and say it the way *you* mean it, except make it very specific so a woman will read it and know what you really mean.
Your pictures are good, and I honestly think black-and-white suits you. You should be happy with these pictures, and keep them in mind if you ever take more. They're in focus, the exposure is right, all that... all in all a good set of pics to give us a glimpse of you, and yes, you are attractive... just enough brawn, a nice smile... I'm surprised you're not the darling of the bar scene, man!
Now, the big thing to keep in mind with all of this: spelling, grammar, punctuation, and spacing... basic English skills. These are very important in getting someone to notice you and stay interested.
Notice that each time I change the point of what I'm saying, I actually double-space. This makes it easier to read, and also contributes to my advice being read the whole way.
Other than that, you've got a good set of content, but just try to keep the woman's mind... well... in mind. Ahem! Okay, that's your review! ;-P
~ David | |
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dallus
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Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 48 | |
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| REVIEW
Posted: 1/10/2007 7:43:30 PM | Give my profile the once over.
Thanks,
George | |
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