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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/12/2007 2:24:59 PM | First off:
I've been off reviewing for a while out of respect to those I would review, since I was not in the mood to be as respectful as I want to be for everyone... but I'm back!
halbailman,
Much better! Your profile has a good pace to it, and I can really see that you're much more than any old "nice guy" because of it.
Your recipe looks very good, and I'll probably try it out sometime (if I ever serve 5 people hungry for a big meal...). I have little doubt that it'll be a point of attraction for a really great woman.
I had no trouble with the spelling or grammar and all, but it's always nice to do an extra check every once in a while, just to make sure.
Keep it coming! | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/12/2007 2:33:44 PM | dhodge,
I like your profile. I really do. The same advice I give to a lot of people applies, though:
More content like this...
Tell me more about you and (the ideal) yours...
Spacing, spacing, spacing...
Still, the wisdom you mention is provocative, humorous in a light-hearted way, and not-at-all resentful of past relationships, nor is it too likely to make women think of you as a "guy with an ex" rather than a single. Overall, what you have is excellent.
I would love to hear more about your child, and something tells me you can tell everyone and still come off attractive...
Work on including a bit more detailed of a first date section. It doesn't need to be specific, but work in some humor, as well as an impression of your romantic style... That's why that section is there.
Your main pic is fabulous and you were wise to use it as your main.
The other one? You have glasses, stubble, and a near-empty bottle of beer in your hand: not attractive. I'd suggest you try to make another picture that showcases that awesome smile of yours... Just make sure you're as prepared for the pic as you would be for a first date with your dream girl, you see what I'm saying?
Still, overall, I think you have a lot of positive things available to add to the profile, as well as offer a good s/o.
~ David | |
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| REVIEW
Posted: 1/12/2007 2:48:07 PM | easygoinggeo,
First of all, I think you wrote the profile when you were in a bit of a bittersweet mood.
The reason I say this is because you have a good amount of resentfulness for negative traits in women (best to focus instead on how much you love the positive, you know?), but at the same time, you are definitely looking like a man of light-hearted humor.
You seem like you're one of those guys who's really cool once you get to know him. Unfortunately, that often doesn't cut it...
I think the first thing you should do is try to find a situation when you're at home, ready to use the computer, and you feel incredibly confident. Then, rewrite the profile, and you'll be surprised by just how attractive, fun, and cool you sound.
I see why you used the "prefer not to say" with the option for whether you have children or not.
Honestly, I'd change it to Yes, and then mention first-thing on your profile the situation with your son. Make sure it's obvious that you care about him, which I imagine you do, otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned him at all.
Still, your picture is actually okay for now. You don't look too bad in that one, and that's good enough as long as your profile shows you for who you really are at your best.
Have fun, as that is the best way to make a good impression! Flirt with the reader, and poke fun at your quirks in a way that shows that you really don't take it seriously...
I think you have a lot of work to do with it, though... just make sure you are in a positive frame of mind.
~ David | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/12/2007 2:58:47 PM | AMBER187,
The first thing I noticed about you is your pictures: they are wonderful! You make your ample body look very good, which is quite an achievement for many a BBW!
The problems came when I looked at the written profile. You need to put spaces between your sentences, that's very important, first off.
Next, you went into caps lock mode three-quarters of the way through when trying to capitalize your "I"... definitely correct that.
You should try to be descriptive of the kind of person a guy would be meeting on a date with you... Talk about the things you like to see in a man, and the way you want him to make you feel.
Don't worry about it being perfect just now... it's a long process, and that's a good thing. The reason is that longer processes of improvement lead to longer-standing results.
Over time, you'll find yourself changing bit by bit. Constantly tinkering around with your profile will keep everybody up to date with who you are.
Your testimonials tell me you have a lot to offer if you can write as well as you can have fun in person! Maybe have a friend help you out, or ask them if the profile screams "who I am" or is hard to read into...
Try to have some meaning between the lines. Use the profile to flirt with the reader a little, and give them a taste of your sense of humor.
Still, I think you have a good profile in the making, especially with so many fine qualities!
Have fun!
~ David | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/12/2007 3:40:00 PM | harlyrider,
You have a great profile, with only a few little nitpicks to work on...
1) I really think you should space out the little things you mention with double-spacing at times. As a dabbler in poetry, you can think of the difference between double-spacing and not doing so as the respective difference between changing stanzas and going to the next line...
2) You mention a profound negative about other men in the early bits, which is a little harsh, especially with mention that you do "NOT" do the thing other men do... Putting other men down is not something that comes off well, and I think mentioning your own self-sufficient qualities by themselves would give a much better feeling to readers.
Besides that, your use of words is excellent, your style is visually astounding (I can practically hear and see your main pic reading the profile aloud in my head, very nice indeed!), and it rings true and in a way that really comforts the heart.
You will surely need no more than a little polish on the superficial side, and a fixing of that little kink in the overall tone I mentioned above, to make this profile really stand proud among the rest!
Well done, just with a little room (and in a way, even less real need) for improvement!
~ David | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/12/2007 4:21:29 PM | marebear87,
It is apparent that you're new here, so welcome, first of all!
Now, it is apparent to me mostly because of your profile, to be honest...
There's hardly anything about you! And from the pictures you have up there, it looks like you should have a lot to talk about!
It's good that you're using the forums a bit... It will definitely help you out in getting noticed and better recognized for who you are.
I honestly can't give you much more advice, as there's so little to work with!
Still, take a look at the other reviews I've given, and especially remember to make the whole thing easy to read.
Oh, and when you take the time to write it, make sure you're in a great mood! ;-)
~ David | |
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| REVIEW
Posted: 1/13/2007 3:49:34 PM | David,
Thanks for the advice, I will apply it.
George | |
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Nissim
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Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 62 | |
| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/13/2007 3:52:55 PM | OK. let me have it with all guns blazing.
I'm getting so many reads with no response or read deleted and I'm aiming for women around my age bracket or at the very youngest in their early thirties (but most are in their late thirties). What's up with that? | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/13/2007 4:26:11 PM | Nissim,
The honest truth is that your profile is fine. I see hardly anything wrong with it at all.
Now, the more likely reason you're having trouble is simply that you fall into a few categories:
1) You're *very* new here, so you should know: if a man gets one response a month from the type of woman he's looking for around here, he's fortunate.
2) You fill in as a person physically, spiritually, and mentally, but I have one more for you to delve into: emotionality. Women are rather emotional creatures, and as such, an emotionally stimulating man is going to have the best chance. Your profile is fine, yes, but it's also kinda bleh... Not much spice to it. So work on trying to be poetic, and evoke emotions from the reader.
Oh and by the way, you should apply the emotionally stimulating ideal to your pictures, too.
They are just sorta... there. Better to try having the camera at weird angles, and the same with your head and body as well. Try to look three-dimensional visually, and it makes you seem three-dimensional personally.
~ David | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/13/2007 5:40:32 PM | You might enjoy this one. A galfriend informs me that I'm WAY too serious about everything, and that I should try to let the 3-yr. old out to play.
I'm all for adult humor and levity, but I must wonder if it's over the top. I thought it was hysterical. What say you?
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/14/2007 11:40:56 AM | grizabella,
I don't know how I could help you out, to be honest...
Your profile could use a little bit of spacing-out, maybe. As a big block of text, it's a temptation to skip most of it. Still, it's fun to read for the most part, and I think you give the reader a good sense of who you are.
For the most part, though, I think you have little to worry about...
Your grammar and all that is excellent. Actually, if you can try to make the order of the sentences less random, you might make the read more interesting...
Good luck!
~ David | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/14/2007 11:53:16 AM | missingyoutoday,
I have to say, it made me smile.
It did also make me feel a little nervous... I felt like you were trying a bit too hard, and it seems like you have the same suspicion...
I'd suggest less text-in-parentheses, and trying to be less of a complainer... I don't mean to say that you're annoying, but it does seem a little bit disconcerting.
Maybe if you took a more "glass-half-full" approach to the adult humor, going for innocence rather than feigned desperation? That might inspire you to be a little more comforting with your profile.
Everything else is near-perfect. Your format is very clean, and there is little worry that you can handle the above assignment, in my opinion.
Keep it coming!
~ David | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/14/2007 12:01:33 PM | mrkgmm,
I think you have a few things to work on...
First, it's important that you make a bigger impression with your first few sentences.
When a woman is searching through the myriad men in your area, it's the first sentences that she sees along with the headline. So if you can try to make it funny, poignant or otherwise special, there should be a good deal of interest in your profile.
Now, next you should work with the amount of content in the profile. There's not much to speak of, so there's little that women will be seeing in you.
It may not be important that a woman's profile is long, but with a man, length can be key.
You seem to have no trouble with grammar, punctuation or any of that, so you should be fine.
Have fun!
~ David | |
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Nissim
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Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 71 | |
| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/14/2007 1:13:42 PM | I've come to realize that having a deep and intelligently written profile is not what is going to attract 99.9% of women. Hot pictures are what's going to attract 99.9% of women. Admittedly this is a sad state of affairs but it's the truth. Now, the odd thing is that I thought I looked quite handsome in my pictures but I have to defer to the data that has come in (or has not come in, in this case) and realize that maybe I'm wrong about this.
Anyway, I'll write a more simple, National Enquirer type of profile and try to get better pictures. | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/14/2007 2:11:18 PM | Nissim,
I hope I didn't have too much to do with your grim feelings, as I am at all times a supporter of everyone I help.
________________
Morning Glory,
I think you have a great profile, and the best I can say is that you can work a little on spelling, as well as possibly double-spacing between paragraphs, so there's a distinctive change of pace.
Other than that, the whole thing is bright, fresh, and fun to read.
You had fun with the Profession option in a way that I don't see very much, and you do it with great gusto and humor.
Have fun getting a good photo!
~ David | |
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Nissim
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Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 73 | |
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| Piping Hot Profile Reviews, step right up!
Posted: 1/14/2007 2:59:30 PM | honibee,
I have one big piece of advice: Be stronger with your language.
Use simpler, blunter sentences, and avoid going on too long. You have good things to say, don't get me wrong.
I think you should talk about things that don't need explanation in your eyes. Things that seem obvious to you. Men are smart, they can read between the lines quite a bit. Give them a little that is left unsaid...
I hope your picture does you justice, because your profile makes you seem like you've had a bad past. It would be best to not mention anything about not being submissive or about not allowing abusive men in a relationship. That should go without saying...
Try to be mysterious, and lure them instead of asking them to come over.
Finally - very important: change your headline. Asking men to take a look is like telling them you might not be perfect, which makes them not try at all... Telling men "ciao" is like telling them "read the next profile now..."
Men can be very simple and brutish creatures. Sift them out by not explaining everything...
Good luck!
~ David | |
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