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Posted: 1/22/2007 6:07:32 PM | Hi! I really appreciate you checking out my profile and giving me some tips/hints I have only received a few inquiries and when I send notes to guys they rarely respond back.
I appreciate your honesty and feedback.
Thanks.
Kathy | |
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Posted: 1/22/2007 7:29:29 PM | Hi David,
I originally posted on the 19th, and was wondering if you would be so good as to review my profile (even if only to say its not worth reviewing). My potentially fragile male ego hangs in the balance. lol.
Thanks in advance,
M | |
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Posted: 1/23/2007 5:09:20 PM | David, Thank you for the review. However, what does "you are such a Libra!" mean? As far as the "spacing" - I guess I could be more "spacey" and I'll try to be less "precise" but I'm not sure I can pull it off.
Thanks, again for the review . . . You're doing a great "public service". | |
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Posted: 1/23/2007 5:23:24 PM | a1rtist,
You're a Libra because you are very diplomatic and fair, according to the profile. You like to see every side of every issue, and that's Libra by definition! :)
You should be happy: it means you're honest with yourself about who you really are.
__________
.atticus.finch.,
I think you should try not to be so wordy. It may be fun to use larger words, and I know this, but in a profile, it tends to come off as insincere.
You type "need" in full caps a few times, and it's very "red-flag"... that's one of the places to use a creative word, like "adore" or "savor".
Also, it's a bit long, though the content itself was very nice. I enjoyed it very much.
Spacing's good, keep it coming!
~ David | |
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Posted: 1/23/2007 7:58:00 PM | firebritches1976,
From reviewer to reviewed, I love you and what you do! You are an excellent comic writer, your timing is perfect with regards to punctuation.
I can only hope that you capitalize your I's a bit more, and otherwise I just hope you don't change it at all!
That really made me smile! Good job!
~ David | |
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Posted: 1/23/2007 8:07:41 PM | Katalina1,
You are well spoken, your grammar and spacing are excellent, but there is just a problem of actual content...
It seems like you're putting a slightly vanilla picture up for us, verbally I mean.
I can't read much into who you are... Be more specific, and try to imagine that you're writing what your ideal lover would say about you. Then say what he would say about himself, as if you were relaying the speech to your girlfriends.
The idea is that you want to get stuck in his head. Make the reader want to be the one you're raving about. Make the reader want to say those things about you, as well.
From there, it's just a matter of your intuition sifting out the good ones that are among the rest in your inbox.
Like in fishing: know the ideal fish, so that you can craft the ideal lure.
Good luck.
~ David | |
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Posted: 1/23/2007 8:17:55 PM | youngest of 8,
Your ego is safe, I have a few suggestions, but nothing too drastic.
First off, it is a little wordy... I found the read a bit slow, and I was able to be distracted by the TV in the living room... Since I'm in my room on the other side of the house, I'd say that's not the best sign.
Still, what I read was very pleasant. I mean, it could use a little spice, but it was smile-worthy.
I think you may have been thinking a little too much when you wrote it. When you're in a more to-the-point mood, chisel away the excesses of description that I found in some places.
You say the same thing twice a couple of times, which is a hard thing to come back from in a resume, as I think you know.
The best advice I can give is to use your sense of humor with less inhibition! Really go for it!
Have fun while writing it, and the reader will have just as much fun reading it.
~ David | |
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Posted: 1/23/2007 8:23:54 PM | tyson 7899,
Before I get to my improvement, let me express my gratitude for you showing me such a funny profile. It is very descriptive of your style of living and thinking, so I'd imagine you've got no trouble there.
Spacing is done well, and the overall feel is quick, steady, yet engrossing.
Now, my improvement is a bit of a stretch but here it is: Get another tattoo, 'cause the one you've got is sick, but you need more, boy!
~ David | |
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Posted: 1/23/2007 8:31:22 PM | hawkfan1361,
Your profile has a wonderful helping of sugar, but you might want to read your emails with a grain of salt.
You are not bitter at all, which makes the read a savory experience.
Your tone of writing never goes sour, nor do you come off as a princess to be spoiled.
Overall, a most tasty profile, though it might do well with some spices of the more peppery sort.
You've got a good recipe, but I think you made it gourmet with the excellent picture presentation.
I enjoyed it very much, and would certainly help myself to seconds if you had time to add a few more servings to the whole course.
~ David | |
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Posted: 1/23/2007 8:36:45 PM | urbanfish,
I found the profile a disappointment given the pictures... You certainly are a good writer, but your pacing is a little slow.
The best advice I can give you is to shorten the pieces of prose you give us, and give us more than poetic description.
Oftentimes, bluntness is the best way to find the truly indescribable joys in life.
Definitely lose the pictures that are out of focus, but the main one is awesome, as are many of the others.
I think you can do better, and I think your best could become one of the best on the site.
Go for it!
~ David | |
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Posted: 1/25/2007 2:14:08 PM | Well thank you David it was late at night when I wrote it but I will definately fix it and thanks again for your imput you must be a busy man. | |
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Posted: 1/25/2007 6:29:41 PM | Thanks for not serving me humble pie. I appreciate your input, and will rework my profile when I have time (er, May/07) and the right frame of mind (that had better be before springtime).
I deleted the funniest stuff in an attempt at brevity (not my style), so I will try not to overthink my next run at it.
Thanks for taking the time, and for infusing some humour and character in your posts.
Be well,
M | |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 8:15:51 PM | Sport600,
You seem like a relatively down-to-earth fellow, but also a bit sober...
I can see the attempts at charm, and they work pretty well, but the whole thing needs humor...
You write excellently, and I think the best thing you have going for you is your class.
As far as the overall feeling, I think it's a bit dry.
Try to be a bit more vulnerable. You seem a bit too assured of your correctness. It rings of disingenuous feelings.
My big opinion is: try again with a more rampant inspiration upon you.
~ David | |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 8:19:48 PM | catchynamehere07,
I think you've got a sort-of messy way of writing for starters...
Also, the whole thing is a little cheesy. You need to say what makes you you, not what makes you another person. Stand out. Be noticed. This whole profile should be like a really fancy suit.
Work on making some spacing adjustments, and check your spelling and punctuation.
Make your profile page look good. It helps, man, trust me.
~ David | |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 8:23:33 PM | armorpierce,
You've got a good profile here. Honestly, just make it a bit more descriptive of you.
Mostly, you're talking about stuff you'd see in a boring historical biography.
You'd do well to go into the things that really light up your life... Have fun writing it, and that fun will be felt while reading it.
So in total: write it again, using the same basic style, but make sure you're in one of your best moods.
~ David | |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 8:26:25 PM | CaptainMorgan1,
First off, your headline screams "Good Sense Of Humor" without actually being a joke, which automatically puts you ahead of most guys.
Secondly, you write very haphazardly, and may try to put it in a more organized format at your discretion.
Finally, you come off as a very straightforward, comfortable, and likeable man. Your stay here in Singlesville should be short.
~ David | |
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