| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/10/2007 6:33:42 AM | From experience, my friend, I wouldn't. I've been there, wrecked that. My 2nd wife got me to take her back 3 years ago, and it was the worst decision I could make. Granted, we went on to get married, but it ended only 19 months after the wedding day. I've got a pretty good idea what happened, and it had everything to do with what caused us to become exes the first time.
I would suppose if the issues that caused the break-up in the first place have been adressed, it could work, but I would advise caution, friend. Best of luck. | |
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vrx16
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Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 27 | |
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/10/2007 6:50:35 AM | | Ask yourself, what has changed (i mean really changed) if nothing has really changed, don't bother, if something has truly changed and you both want to make it work, consider going back. | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 28 | |
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/10/2007 6:54:20 AM | ".....even though you doubt it will be any better this time around...."
WTHell?? that's like walking across a busy street and getting hit by a bus, then you stand up and keep walking across the street to get hit by another bus in the other direction. What's the POINT man????? I cannot possibly understand why someone would want to get hit by 2 busses.....just plain WEIRD!!!
Now I'm NOT saying it's bad to return to an ex.
Not at all. Returning to an ex can indeed be a GOOD thing if both people have thought about it and really want each other and are willing to make an effort to be sure it's NOT jsut as bad this time around. ONLY RETURN IF YOU THINK THERE IS SOME IMPROVEMENT AND GROWTH. ONLY THEN. At that time you can find the relationship MUCH stronger and more fulfilling for both of you.
.......Otherwise, you're just running around in front of speeding busses all day long...... | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/10/2007 6:56:58 AM | Depends on the people and the way the relationship was before and the issues why you broke up in the first place.
Impossible to judge one situation versus another.
If you have doubts - don't. If you have positive vibes - do. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/10/2007 7:11:15 AM | | all i can say is DO NOT DO IT!!!!! having been there i can say from experience. i took my ex back not once not twice not three times but four times. boy was i dumb. nothing ever changes and in the end he was a hypocrite and a liar and i will not be taking him back a fifth time. move on with your life and find someone who can appreciate u for u. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/10/2007 8:34:59 AM | | i know that this is probably going to piss alot of women off when i write this but..........you should never go back to the x and never ever get married until the laws are changed.............my x made a great investment,she got married.She came into it with nothing and left with half ,and i had to pay her on top of that to get rid of her.........how fair is that........hey guys.....realize it now that women are all just sperm backs and they have nothing to offer us...........i can do my own house cleaning and my own dishes and i work .............so to all women i'll love you just stay in your own home and make me a meal every once in awhile......................hahahah...........thats the way that it is boys......hump them and dump them | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/10/2007 9:40:40 AM | | I don't know about that being "dumb," lonelymama. I've seen guys do it more times than that. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/10/2007 10:39:55 AM | move forward not backwards...
they are an ex for a reason and no mater what good they had... it does not really matter cause one of you or both of you decided that it was not enough to work for...
SO DO NOT GO BACK GO FORWARD! | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/10/2007 11:32:07 AM | How can everyone dish out SO much "advice" when no one knows why they are exes in the first place??
It amazes me how quickly people tell him to RUN without have any facts whatsoever.
His life IS NOT YOUR LIFE. His mistakes are NOT your mistakes. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/10/2007 3:55:31 PM | I say if you know where you went wrong and you can fix it, and you know where she went wrong and can forgive it and overlook it next time, you have a pretty good chance. Why not try it? You already share some good memories.
Steve | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 36 | |
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/13/2007 1:51:11 PM | | I admit, I have been known to go back to an ex in the past---but, it is definitely not something I would do now. Not only, because it does not work out the 2nd time, but because I am so in LUV with someone else right now, there isn't an EX who would be able to tear me away from this one. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/13/2007 6:32:45 PM | You are not the only who who made this worse mistake of my life of going back together with my first ex boyfriend from high school. However one of my female friends went through more than five men in her life and she is always coming back into her ex boyfriends' cycle. Obviously she made that particular mistake all over again and again. I been very disappoint in her like I am one of her parents but I know that I can not be overprotective over her though she is one of my female friends. Until one day which was sometime last week, she went back together with one of her ex boyfriends from high school and I was furious with her but eventually we this immature and useless feud of whatever what was going on. So, I ended up being the one to send this brutually but honest e-mail to her and the next day, she told me that I was right all along.
Advice: Do not ever go back to your ex boyfriends. Do not get your heart broken into pieces. Move on with your life and date someone new like I do not know by. | |
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Israd
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Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 38 | |
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 1:49:33 AM | they are an ex for a reason.. remember that reason. If it something you could get over, or work out try it out. Otherwise why lie to yourself, waste more time and be left in the same position you are in now?
I did the back and forth thing for several years, to come with one conclusion. Sometimes we'd like to believe we haven't made a mistake only to repeat the same thing over and over again and find it to fail and be left where we started. Without a solution and frustrated in ourselves.
9 out of 10 times going back to the ex doesn't work.
And the one time it does work we may have missed on something else equally as satisfying. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 11:36:56 AM | This is in my opinion the best post that I have read. Normally I skim through them but this one I read every message. A lot of people are very negative on the subject and in their cases it is warranted. I have heard it all from people around me that I would be nuts to give her any chance with my heart. But that is where it ends. It's my heart and mine alone to choose who I give it to. We have collectively made stupid mistakes and both have some growing to do. So why do so many people choose the easy way out and give up? Real love is worth holding on to and working out. It's not easy, it takes a lot of effort but if there is still love there then there is still hope. How is it that there are so many senior couples celebrating 30, 40, 50 years of marriage? Do you think that it was all bliss and that they never made mistakes? What is the point in taking on the vows if they really mean nothing to you in the first place? If you have children, do you really believe that they will benefit from mom and dad being apart? I grew up without both parents in my life and it wasn't beneficial. Too many people are quitters and it shows in todays society.
In conclusion: If you still love your ex and they still love you then make the effort and do whatever it takes to right a wrong ship or be a quitter. After all... it's so much easier. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 12:44:27 PM | It's pretty easy to walk away. Anything worth having is worth toughing it out to have. There was a reason you loved in the first place and chances are that reason is still there. Forgiveness is something too many folks just don't know. I know my parents didn't have it easy - but they're still together after over a half century. How many of the "kick-him/her-to the-curb" crowd will ever see that?
Steve | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 1:13:35 PM | | For me to leave after 34 years, I say I gave it my best before walking. People don't change and we all left our ex's for a good reason. LEARN to Forgive and move on, if you can keep them as a friend great. Before getting into another relationship. Find out who you really are and what you want. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 1:34:48 PM |
Does anyone have any thoughts on going back to an ex even though you doubt it will be any better this time around?
Has anyone here gone back to their ex and made it work? Anyone go back to their ex and regretted it?
What would make you go back to them?
I think you answered your own question when you suggested doubting it would work this time around. I think that people often fantasize about how wonderful a relationship was after it's over. I once heard someone say something like.... remember you broke up, because it was broken. Made sense to me.
I have been confronted by the pursuit of ex's myself, but I don't bite, because I didn't walk away from a good thing. There was a case where I seriously considered it, but it was because we always got along so well and the issue was something that might have been resolved. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 1:44:27 PM | I agree with you juan_valdez, but..... - yeah, there's always a but.
What if you feel that your ex IS your soulmate?
What if you had the best sex ever with your ex?
What if no other guy came close to how your ex was with you in bed?
What if you feel that you can love no other like you love your ex?
Are there answers to the above? | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 1:47:57 PM | Dear shelbygt9 - excuse me for saying it: but you are a real *ss!!!!!!!!!
Sounds like you have no respect for woman.
Lemme tell you something - what happened to you is an excellent example of showing people how STUPID YOU REALLY ARE!!!!!!!
Think about it................ | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 3:46:15 PM | So much does depend on the details like many have said, have the issues that initially broke you apart been dealt with?
It actually doesn't sound like it in this case, because if you doubt it will work any better, then it probably won't. It is possible if both really want it to and are willing to work on the relationship but if either aren't ready or willing, then why even bother?
Good luck either way | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 4:14:18 PM | Well... My mom and dad married their ex's ... and they have been married to each other , happily I might add, for 38 years...
My brother married his ex, and they have been married for 10 years..
I got back together with my ex, and it was worse the second time around...
I guess it just depends on the situation, the person, and the love.
I would not recommend it if the issues that broke you up were cheating, lying, abuse, or drug and alcohol addictions. These things are rarely resolved... although you may think that you are both ' over ' it.. it will always come back in a fight, or a moment when your partner is late...
I believe in drug and alcohol recovery, and I believe in second chances for relationships that are ruined because of it... but not if it is still ongoing..
anyway. thats what i think.. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 4:15:34 PM | Well... My mom and dad married their ex's ... and they have been married to each other , happily I might add, for 38 years...
My brother married his ex, and they have been married for 10 years..
I got back together with my ex, and it was worse the second time around...
I guess it just depends on the situation, the person, and the love.
I would not recommend it if the issues that broke you up were cheating, lying, abuse, or drug and alcohol addictions. These things are rarely resolved... although you may think that you are both ' over ' it.. it will always come back in a fight, or a moment when your partner is late...
I believe in drug and alcohol recovery, and I believe in second chances for relationships that are ruined because of it... but not if it is still ongoing..
anyway. thats what i think.. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 7:25:27 PM | | I did once. It didn't work. He never changed. He said he changed. I totally regretted it. | |
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