| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 7:34:04 PM | | I like lone56wolf's response. Anything worth having is toughing it out to have..... so true... And like how someone else said, if love was once there, then chances are the reason why you fell in love is still there and can be worked at to achieve once more... BUT every relationship is different in there own way. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/14/2007 7:46:46 PM | | At the end of the day it comes down to if you are really in love with them or not. Love is worth fighting for at least going the extra mile to try. If you both love each other then it is worth the effort. Maybe I'm a fool for thinking this way or maybe I'm just a rare breed. Either way I know that I am worth fighting for. (Pat on the back) lol | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/15/2007 8:27:06 PM | You may be a rare breed,(Maiden Japan} but their are many of us out here that are as well. Your either comitted or not. However, how much is too much? Sometimes you have to walk, while you still have some self respect left. Especially when the one your fighting for takes you for granted too many times.
Elegantly Simple | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/15/2007 8:49:16 PM |
Anyone go back to their ex and regretted it?
 Hello!
I tend to believe that once you "leave" you can never really go back! | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/15/2007 9:01:59 PM | | Every case is different. I went back to my ex, twice. No, it did not work. But I did not regret it because of 1) my kids who were still under 18 at the time, and 2) the fact that i missed my family and it was hard to adjust to such a radical change (from a wife and 5 children to a single apt.). Each case is different. You have to go with your gut feel. --Peter | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/15/2007 9:18:37 PM | "The issue is really being honest to yourself and your partner. All romantisism aside, can you see youself happy for the rest of your life with this person? And you can't count on the person to change to make it work. You can't even count on yourself to do that!"
I've wanted to go back to my ex (I broke up with him but he agreed so it was mutual) many times, and have contacted him several times since we broke up but he just ignores my calls and my emails. The only way I'll ever talk to him again is to wait outside his door until he gets home from work, but of course I'll look like a psycho b!tch/stalker of an ex girlfriend, and I really don't want to do that. So I have no choice but to get over him and move on. It's been two months since the breakup but I haven't called him since New Year's Eve. That's progress for me. Just have to keep pushing forward and stop looking back. I can't expect him to change and I'm not willing, nor should I have to change who I am. I just want to learn from my mistakes and not make them in the next relationship, and be more careful and choosy about who I date next. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/15/2007 10:45:51 PM | | hi i agree i think iti best to always follow your fist intution on these things. if it doesn't feel right there is probably a good reason for that even if you can't articualte it. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/16/2007 12:14:52 AM | Been there and done that, surprisingly enough it didn't work out the second time either.
I'd move forward not back, but in the end it's your choice. Good Luck | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/16/2007 2:16:37 PM | | to be honset with you if it dint work the first time its probally not worth the drama of doing it again belive me you can never really fix a relationship when its gone xx | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/16/2007 3:20:51 PM | | i have a saying that i have gained from experiance and that is that an ex is an ex for a reason | |
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B.E.D.
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Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 62 | |
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/16/2007 3:34:15 PM | | Move on!! Onward and Upward!! Don't let life pass you by! Pick your cliche. Or if this is easier to understand....here's three words for ya...DON"T DO IT | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/16/2007 11:06:33 PM | Nope still hurt and so did the fifth, sixth and seventh time. Maybe I need not to play with hand tools....lol
I did learn how to break the cycle....I think.  | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/17/2007 10:57:53 AM | All I have to say is watch Walk the Line. June and Johnny were on and off several times in their life but when Johnny finally got his act together, they were on for the rest of their lives.
We love who we love even when we shouldn't sometimes. Just because something caused you to break up is no reason to expect that it will never work in the future. Each case has to be evaluated individually.
My thoughts anyway but what do I know, I'm single.
David | |
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zeusa
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Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 65 | |
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/17/2007 12:03:02 PM | I have gone back to an ex and I wouldn't reccomend it. We'd broken up after 5 1/2 yrs and stayed that way for nearly a year. We'd stayed best friends and spent time together a lot. Then we started sleeping together. He'd met a girl off here that he insisted he was just friends with, kept telling me not to worry (and I'm not a jealous person). Then, after we were back together and working things out, he slept with her and told me he "wasn't ready for a committed relationship" and he "didn't mean to hurt anyone, he just couldn't help falling in love with 2 people". After so long!
I think the big problem with 'getting back together' is that whether you realize it or not, at least one person changes from the person that was in said relationship, to someone a little different, but we all go back expecting familiarity.... I dunno, I hope I've learned, but sometimes advice does no good and people just need to see it for themselves.. whatever the case, good luck to whomever tries it, cuz when it doesn't work, it hurts more than you'd ever thought possible. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/31/2007 9:48:05 PM | Time only moves forward, never back. It's just the fact of existence.
It just depends on the situation. If the ex desires it just as much as you do, then maybe it's worth as shot to enter the time machine and go back to where you left off. It takes two to make things work. If one side or the other refuses to change or is still not accepting of an individual's flaws, then the relationship is doomed to failure.
I guess it's just natural for some people to want to go back to an ex. I'm guilty of that all the time. It's not like I'm not open to finding someone new, it's just the simple fact that I didn't want to lose all the time and effort we both invested in each other. It takes time to meet someone new and as the time progresses, that number that defines your age only increases every year.
The fact is simple: it's easy to jump from relationship to relationship when we're young, but as we get older, the chances and opportunites become less and less. All the people your age have settled in with someone (most likely a chance for divorce in the future, god forbid...), and the younger people are reluctant to date an "older" person.
I know that my phyiscal appearance hasn't changed much (if at all) since I was 18 (people always thought I was 25 back then). Now that I'm really 25, I have even greater limits on who I can date and who I can't. Most younger women see me as too old and older women see me as "unstable".
It's hard for me now, but I can't imagine what it will be like when I'm 30 or older. I certainly hope I can find a person with the same level of devoution as myself, but people (women in my case) are getting more and more superficial and fickle every year. Long term relationships are rare these days. You think you've found "the one", and it's over before the year is. People are just never satisfied; they always want to pluck down the brightest star and claim it for themselves.
I just don't know anymore. I guess the only choice in the matter is to move on and wait for someone new to come along. Obviously the relationship ended for a reason, but if you have the chance to go back, then go for it... otherwise, what choice is there but to move on? | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 2/1/2007 6:51:56 AM | | i went back to an ex before. did it work out? obviously not. i don't regret it though. at the beginning it was wonderful. we had been apart for sometime. hadn't spoken to each other or seen each other. . while we weren't together i met someone else that was short lived and had a baby.than one day he called me and we went for coffee. the attraction was there and he wasn't the same person he was when we had broken up. he had grown up a bit. or so it had seemed. he went back to the way he was before. where everything was more important to him than me. drinking and doing lots of drugs.during our time together we had two children together. one of which he has never met. i don't regret going back to him. without him i would not have my children. i am however gladthat it is over and i know that it will never work for us. i deserve so much more than a druggie who is selfish and inconsiderate of his children. if you think it could work this time you owe it to yourself and to each other to try. if you don't see it working out than you should keep your ex as an ex. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 2/1/2007 7:01:17 AM | well i have gone back to an ex after breaking up and i thought i would never do that because it was a moral of mine and for many other reasons.
i got back with an ex and didnt work out but i think there is a very small chance you can make it work out again i guess you need to fix the problems that caused the break up but in some cases i guess like if you were cheated on etc well that is different you cant fix that problem,so many reasons to why people break up and you never know how things will end up no matter if it seems one way it might not be like that.  | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 2/1/2007 2:38:05 PM |
Has anyone here gone back to their ex and made it work?
I am pretty sure the ones who made it are no longer on POF. .  | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:28:21 PM | | I have never seen it work. All of the reasons that two people breakup are still there even after they try to go back together. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:44:26 PM | | TOTALY AGREE!! No way in hell will it ever be paradise again. You will always have it in the back of your mind, did i do the right thing getting back together? Remember, you broke up for a reason. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:51:20 PM |
im a carpenter , and have hit my hand with a hammer many a time
And it hurt just as bad every time, didn't it? | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:41:39 AM | I have a great quote for you to send him:
"I love you too much to change you, and I love myself too much to settle for you." | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:55:04 AM | Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I see alot of does not work. I did this too. I still feel it could work. In my case, she had not dealt with some issues. Furthermore I think she set me up on revenge mode. Seduced me, had me body and soul, then made sure I saw something to send me over the edge. Just a furnace of warmth and kindness this gal is. Evil in its purest form.
I honestly feel IF past issues have been dealt with..............it can work. If they have not........of course it is doomed to failure. | |
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| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 2/2/2007 2:05:58 AM | | People can change. I'd like to think that I have changed for the better as I mature, but then again, I might be enjoying delusional fantasies. If you hooked up with an ***hole, chances are they will still be one when you go back to them. | |
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