| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/10/2007 2:18:47 PM | OMG...!!! I can't believe what I just read...I would hate to think what would have happened to the dating relationship I have with the guy I am dating...
1. If I had acted as though children and puppies didn't interest me...He has 4 sons and loves animals to death himself...one of our first nights out we saw three doe cross in front of us...after we had past where the deer had crossed he wanted to turn around and see if we could get a second look...I thought this was so cool and romantic...I don't even want to imagine what would have happeded if I had said something like "yeah, that was nice but it is really not worth trying to take a second look"....the thought gives me shivers...
2. I have told him of all my health problems and my choices in dealing with them...he is supportive of my choices...and my health condition does not change how he feels about me because it does not make me who I am...My childhood and all my past life experiences do make me who I have become today and he has all rights to know why I react certain ways to certain things...and he respected me for telling him about my past including the fact that me and my mother didn't get along...
3. Everyone should let it be known if there are certain ways you prefer to eat or certain things you do not like to eat...The last thing I would want to do is throw up my dinner that my date or I just spent our hard earned money for...
4. The first sleep over...that is the whole idea of the sleep over is waking up together and if not you have no relationship so move on unless this is an understanding between the two of you the night before the next morning(that one of you are gonna have to be leaving due to work or other plans the next day)...
5. Usually when dating the subject of marriage and children come up all on their own and it doesn't matter which one brings up the subject because both of you are going to express yourself so you are both going to know the others opinion or feelings...If you both don't have the same outlook at the moment and it is early in the relationship wait until you have dated for a while longer(much longer) and address the issue of marriage and children again...people do change their minds as their feelings change...
6. Don't admit you fall in love easily I agree with...it is just not normal or moral to say I love you after three dates...keep this to yourself...but you can express that you care about them if you choose to...
7. Never kiss on the first date...this all depends on how the date went and how comfortable you both feel...Don't initiate a kiss yourself...but I see no problem if you feel comfortable enough accepting a kiss offered by him...start with a light soft quick kiss...
8. I don't recommend telling someone everything about yourself on the first date...but as you date the person and feel comfortable with them you will know and feel when the time is right to tell them all your personal background and quirks...and there are somethings that are just totally irrelavent and don't need to be told.
9. I agree don't call for no reason at first...that comes after a relationship has been established and there is some kind of commitment between the two of you where feelings have been shared...(the I love you's)
THIS WOMAN THAT WROTE THIS BOOK IS TOTALLY INSANE...OR...SHE WAS VERY DESPERATE FOR MONEY!
Just my two cents!!
Angel | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/10/2007 3:15:30 PM | | I live by this quote..."Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"...Dr. Suess. | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/10/2007 3:53:44 PM | I can see how many of the things that are written are date killers because I've done some of them and yeah, it's true. But I don't want to follow a how to book that that either because each clause contains the footnote 'until the ring is on the finger' -- 'until the poor unsuspecting sap has been landed' etc.
Self improvement regarding bad habits that nobody wants inflicted upon them when it comes to socializing is one thing. But it should be just that...self improvement in order to be more oneself with others and get to know them for who they are too. | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/10/2007 7:59:46 PM | What has been suggested here is to enter into a relationship based on a certain amount of deception. I agree that it is probably best not to blurt out everything that is negative in your life right when you first meet but it’s important to be yourself and if something comes up in conversation is best to be honest. Nobody is perfect and it’s best not to focus on the negative but I think it’s important for a person to be REAL. If she/he can not accept the good with the bad then it’s best to move on. And that bit about waking up and sneaking out the first time you are intimate is the worst advice I’ve ever heard! This is childish game playing. And why would any woman want to date a man where she had to pretend she didn’t like kids, babies, and puppies?! Totally lame.... No wonder I don’t watch T.V. these days.
I wonder if a persons I.Q drops for every hour one spends watching tell-a-vision. | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/10/2007 9:20:54 PM |
So basically to sum it all up what they're telling me to do is hide who I really am in order to win a guy over ?!?
No thanks, I'll take my chances on finding a guy who will like me and my " quirky lil habbits " No surprises a few months down the road. | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/10/2007 9:49:34 PM | I have to agree with most of the posters. I think you should be yourself. When I first met my husband we talked for about 3 hours in the freezing cold on the steps to my house. After that first5 conversation he told his friend that I was the woman he wanted to marry. I think it was that I was completely myself andplayed no games and was very honest. | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/10/2007 10:13:26 PM | From my way of thinking every thing is WAY over analized today{yesterday also} If people spent the time on thier relationship that they do on reading what and how to fix it -----It would be in better condition.
Why should we be spending money to learn what other people have found to be their problem---Fix yours leave them to theirs!!! When some one figures out men ?? some one else will have a Book out on how to figure out weman??? And thats going to happen--I better buy a lotto ticket LOL LIVE your life,be real,stick as close to the truth as you can.Well all have our secrets maybe one day if our partener earns the trust or we get drunk enough we'll share lol | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 34 | |
| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 2:26:04 AM | I think honesty is always the best policy and if you enter into a relationship your should enter as your authentic self, not as someone's made up ideal person. People need to love and accept one another as they are, not how they would like them to be. Also, if you pretend to be someone you are not, you will end up resenting the relationship and the person you are with because you are not being true to yourself.
As for kissing, never ever miss the opportunity for an amazing kiss, they are rare and one of life's greatest pleasures. | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 4:06:13 AM |
One of the things I look for in a woman is her emotional fitness as a mother. As a mature man and father of my own son, I am looking for a woman who has not only an interest in children but also the skills needed to raise one well. This is a side that I want to hear, though I will agree not necessarily right on the first date.
Are you serious? I guess to a certian degree I can see where you are coming from, although you make dating sound less like fun and more like a job interview. | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 7:53:07 AM | I gotta think that these things are all sarcastic "jabs" at the author's ex......
exhaggerated interpretations of a "man's" thoughts based on problems in her
former relationship........or she's just kind of stupid?
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 8:20:37 AM | I think the age group she is trying to relate to is not the age group of people on POF......
i did go back and look at some of the blogs that people actually wrote after seeing this episode.. keep in mind i have no idea the ages of these people.. see below
"..Geez, now i find out. I wish I could go back in time knowing the things i know now! Tip for the ladies!~ PLAY HARD TO GET! I know you've heard it a million times but my word you have no idea how impossible it is to get a guy once you've put yourself out there and made all the first moves. Well I know many of you already know this but for those who dont you'll thank me later!"
"after I watched your show about "think like a guy" , i was sooo excited to go in our nearest bookstore and buy that book! i will use all the adviced and I hope this time i will find my Mr. Right!! I can't wait..."
"Hi!
I do not agree with some of the things said in the book. You are telling women to not be themselves, so they can snag the man, then surprise him and hope he stays. I am all for being myself when first meeting someone because then they know what they are getting into. I do not want to waste my time with unsatisfying and false relationships where I feel I have to put on a different face when I am with my man. I can understand not telling him everything on your first date, but something stupid like "don't be a finicky eater"!! COME ON! if you don't like it, don't eat it."
"Her advice is very wise! The whole point is to not scare a guy off right away--to keep him interested in you long enough to get to know you. No, there is nothing wrong with a nice first date kiss, but by not giving him one right away, you can bet he'll find you immediately more intriguing than others he's dated, and won't be able to get you out of his mind.It's just a kiss--so wait a date if it makes a positive difference! A man likes to be swept off his feet too, not be creeped out, just the same as women do. Women are willing to tell men what's needed...I think men need women to see things their way, too."
"I saw this show the first time it aired and I think that her advice was OK. I think she was mainly speaking from a broken heart. The one thing that I mainly disagree with is the kiss on the first date. I'm not saying to slob the person down but I don't see anything wrong with a nice sweet gentle kiss on the first date."
"This book is awesome after seeing it on your show i went that same day and bought it online. i have only had it for 3 days and i already read the whole book! it gave awesome tips some i knew about but ever fallowd and other i had no idea about. it was awesome! now when i try to find mr.right =] well i just wanted to say thanks and i every girl should read it its an awesome book."
"I THINK SHE IS SO RIGHT BECAUSE IF U DON'T LEAVE SOME KIND OF MYSTERY OR IMAGINATION FOR A GUY TO DREAM ABOUT, THEN HE WOULDN'T WANT TO CONTINUE DATING YOU. YOU HAVE TO BE TOTALLY UNAWARE, BUT AT THE SAME TIME DON'T BE A BORING SNOB OR "BI$CH". " | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 8:22:24 AM |
So guys and girls do you believe any of these tips to be true? or do you have your own to add?
Well I think like a guy anyway (so I have been told), so most of this probably comes natural to me. My comments:
• Don’t seem too interested in kids, babies and puppies when they are around
Yeah, no sweat. Not a kid person anyway, but animals yes. Dogs, cats, snakes, rats, you name it, I will react to that.
• When you first start dating, don’t call him unless you have something to say.
I am not a phone person, so I do this anyway, and furthermore I get annoyed when I get a call from someone who has no immediate point (unless I have hours to kill which is rare). If I can, I'd rather shoot over a quick text or e-mail. Whatever gets the information across without the unneeded extra conversation.
• Never give away too much unnecessary information too early in the relationship.
I totally agree with this, and not just in romantic relationships. But if in one, I am on a don't ask don't tell policy, and whatever's not relevent to the moment isn't discussed. I don't always want to get a lot of information I don't need either, and i'll express that if I need to.
• Don’t reveal all your deeper, darkest secrets (a past eating disorder, childhood issues) until there is a ring on your finger.
Well, we can forget the ring part! Since I have no known plans to marry that doesn't apply. Otherwise I don't do this. Who does? Kinda silly.
• The first time you sleep over, wake up early and sneak out without saying goodbye or leaving a note.
I can't imagine why I would stay the night anyway, but if I do - this goes without saying. We both have lives to get back to, so I don't think there would be much argument. However if he promises to wake me up in the morning with more sex and cook me something, then I might stay a bit longer.
• Don’t be a finicky eater. If you have quirky eating habits, don’t reveal them until he’s officially your boyfriend. I eat quite heartily, and sometimes with my fingers/hands. But any strange eating habits I have aren't a big deal - he's free to not get involved, I could take or leave that part.
• If you have a dysfunctional relationship with your parents and/or siblings, hide this from your man until you’re well into the relationship.
No need to discuss family or friends at all unless it's relevant to the moment - which rarely happens in the first, oh I don't know six months.
• Don’t be the first to mention marriage or kids. Let him initiate the conversation.
Since I don't want either, he'll have to bring it up if he wants to discuss it, and then of course I would change the subject.
• Don’t admit you fall in love easily, or that you’ve been in love soooo many times.
Since it's not true, I can't say that. I take eons to fall in love if at all. No worries there.
• Never kiss on the first date, no matter how great it was or how much you are dying to kiss him.
I am never dying to kiss anyone on the first date, I am not usually that comfortable with someone yet that soon. That's not a worry.
I think the bottom line is that there are some women (and a few men) who give too much away and get involved or attached too soon, and they should slow down and take their time getting to know the person they are with to find out if they are someone to get close to. A lot women get attached first and figure they'll get to know the guy later - bad move. There's no one across the board technique for dating. There isn't one extreme or another, it's finding a healthy middle ground you can adopt while dating. | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 8:26:40 AM | Reality shows or how they call them (?) daytime talk shows - nope, they don't have place in my life. There is enough going on in my life, in my friends' lives and my loved ones. Everyone is entitled to their opinion or giving tips whether on TV or face to face, providing someone asks for it. Media are famous for blowing up a problem / issue well out of proportion; it is everyone's choice to either taking them on board or not.
BTW, pretence doesn't last long, just like 'lies have short legs' and living life by someone's tips ... it is very sad really ; but if one doesn't know who they are and what are they capable of ... if they need to look up for some personal answers to complete strangers, hmmm ... there is a lot of growing up on agenda on their part. | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 8:34:04 AM | | please,,,really, just be yourself, in the long run you will be way ahead, and probaly a few less divorces than if you follow some shallow info like that.( to the origional post on this thread). We are all different and we are all changing, along with sociaty and the whole menxwomen roles,,Hopefully as we age we start dropping ego based rules, and start being true to ourselves so the people we are with have something real to connect to, I say stick with that, if you try to play with a player, dosnt that just make you another player? | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 11:27:48 AM | Pfft. This is ridiculous.
I'm gonna break the Man Code for a second here and tell you how to really think like, and understand, men.
If he says something, take it at face value.
There are no hidden meanings or shades of grey. If he says, "I'm hungry," then he's hungry. Full stop, end of story.
When women stop trying to delve into all the "hidden" meanings behind our speech and figure out what we "really" mean whenever we open our mouths, their comprehension of us would jump tenfold. But a lot of them can't seem to grasp the concept that just because *they* never say what they mean, it doesn't mean that we do, too.
Seriously. Take everything your man says literally for a week, and see what happens. You'll probably be surprised. | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 11:42:32 AM | When women stop trying to delve into all the "hidden" meanings behind our speech and figure out what we "really" mean whenever we open our mouths, their comprehension of us would jump tenfold. But a lot of them can't seem to grasp the concept that just because *they* never say what they mean, it doesn't mean that we do, too.
I wish I'd figured that out YEARS ago! The light finally dawned a while back when I read somewhere that "when someone tells you who they are, BELIEVE them." I started changing the subject when I was out with girlfriends and they started talking about men - because we actually DO have other things to talk about, just 90% of the time we don't act like it!
If a guy tells you he's out drinking five nights a week, guess what? He's out drinking 5 nights a week! You aren't going to change him! And as cute and funny and sweet and thoughtful as he might be otherwise, he's still going to be out drinking 5 nights a week - and NOT because he's "stressed," or has to "resolve issues with his past," or whatever the excuse du jour is - it's because he spends a LOT of time and money drinking! Stop making excuses, and stop trying to be their mommy because you'll only resent it - and so will they.
But listen, wonkabar, as much as I appreciate most of what you said, watch it with that last sentence. Some of us DO say what we mean - it's just that nobody takes us seriously. You can get away with a lot when that happens. 
Edited to add: I remember years ago reading an article in some magazine - tips on what to say when he picks you up for a date based on what he's wearing. One example was, "If he's wearing a flannel shirt and corduroys, say, "I love Chinese, but MSG always gives me a headache. Should we have Thai?" Oh, you were also supposed to hide the glycerine soap, because it "costs more pound-for-pound than his car." But you could leave the Victoria's Secret on the coffee table (order form ripped out,) and that way you'd be sure he'd ask for a second date. Freakin' laughed my ass off over that.... | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 1:59:45 PM | Some of us DO say what we mean - it's just that nobody takes us seriously. You can get away with a lot when that happens.
Actually, I know this. All of my close female friends are the kind of women that are very straightforward people. And, they all have men. Good men, who love them. Coincidence? You tell me. 
If a guy tells you he's out drinking five nights a week, guess what? He's out drinking 5 nights a week! You aren't going to change him!
Not only that, but stop freakin' obsessing over WHY. You're not in philosophy class. No one's going to give you a cookie if you get the right answer. Sometimes there IS no WHY. To use a pretty good example, I have a foot fetish. Most women can't grasp that, and want to know WHY. I always just say "Why NOT?"
I mean seriously. I'm not submissive, I'm not damaged, I didn't spend all my time on the floor as a kid - I just like feet. Full stop. Accept it and move on.
'nother good example, a friend of mine has lousy radar when it comes to picking men - so she calls me up and rants about it. The conversations usually go like this;
She: Why does do people like to smoke pot all day? I mean really, what do they get out of it?
Me: It gets them high, and they like that.
She: But what good is that? What kind of person would like to get high?
Me: Someone who enjoys that sort of thing, obviously. If you don't approve, don't date him.
She: But he just sits around all day smoking pot!
Me: THEN DON'T GO OUT WITH HIM.
She: What kind of person would DO, that, Steve?
...you get the point. She's like a two-year-old. Why? Why? WHY? WHY?!
Granted, not all women are like that... but I can safely say I've never had that kind of circular conversation with anyone of the male gender... | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 4:14:42 PM | I must say these experts are good at one thing......getting us lonely people to spend money. A relationship is based on what? Truth and Honesty. Two people who enjoy being together and understanding one another. So here is a tip from a non-expert (what the heck, i am single, so maybe it's my problem, but it is what I believe) be yourself!
If they don't accept your kids, see ya! If you are a little needy or scared due to a past relationship (marriage/parents) well maybe its not first date appropriate but it is something that needs to be discussed. We are who we are and if we are to meet "the one" well the one will understand us and sypathise (?) listen and share. Oh, and if you ate like a horse I would probably relax and eat normal too! (lol)
So be who you are, you are a wonderful person and some lucky person will realise this one day and THEN you will begin to truley enjoy you, your life and your relationship!
Bob | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 4:50:49 PM | so I was watching one of those day time talk shows and they had an entertainment reporter who recently wrote a book about how to think like a guy.. she then proceed to give some tips.....
The PROBLEM is "she" cannot think like a man....................... That's the problem there. We are just as different as you ladies are.  | |
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laala
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Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 47 | |
| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 5:21:37 PM | What a load of poo.. But, after all, she is an "entertainment" reporter.. reminds me of Neil Strauss's book "The Game".. poo.. poo.. poo..  | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 6:53:53 PM | ~~~Sounds like you got hurt BAD, i kinda understand why you want to put up that wall and never trust again.......I've been there myself, recently, and ya suddenly just want to be awful to other men because of the deep pain. I hard a hard time trusting again and as it turned out after 3 yrs his true colors came out also (along with a couple lovers). But you got to realize girl that we do deserve better....and being bad as them isn't hat we need to do. We just need to be more cautious and take extra time to know who he really is!!!
And if we got a few GOOD years then thats better than none. And our match is out there---he's just playing hard to get...lol....But the worst thing we could do is let our hearts get hard and cold--for then we'll surely die a lonely old soul!! GOOD LUCK & KEEP ON SMILING!
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 7:37:41 PM |
Don’t reveal all your deeper, darkest secrets (a past eating disorder, childhood issues) until there is a ring on your finger.
Definitely, don't tell him you have AIDS and are dying of cancer until after the ring is on your finger, so that he feels betrayed and lied to. Thats always a good start to a lasting relationship!
WTF???
You should talk about whatever you are comfortable talking about, and get to know each other as fully as possible *before* there is a ring on your finger. Geez, if people actually think like this and follow advice like this, its *no wonder* the divorce rate is so high!!
I think if I was, in essence *lied* to as much as this, if it ever got to a ring on her finger, I'd be pawning the ring and going back to...  | |
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| Think like a guy.. ways to understand men
Posted: 1/11/2007 9:02:02 PM | ~~~~I adore that -- since it speaks so much truth~~~~
~~~Dr. Suess was alot wiser than i thought!~~~~~~~
```I may have to start collecting his books``` | |
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