| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/10/2007 8:29:27 PM | He's known you for two years. He may have been in love with you for months. Stranger things have happened. He's probably not expecting you to marry him. He's probably being hopeful because there's something about what the two of you have together that is very appealing...either that or he's just latching on the whatever is close. | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/10/2007 9:31:35 PM | sillygoose.....Has he told you he loves you? Three weeks is NOT a long time, it's best to wait until the 'honeymoon' period is over (usually takes the standard 3 months), rather than jump to conclusions.
We were talking about our relationships last night and I told him that if I ever re-marry, it will be for life and he said ( What if one of us Die's in a car wreck, then it want be for life ). Is he already expecting me to marry him? .....What makes you think he expects you to marry him? Appears he is just 'generally speaking', after all you were having a discussion! I think this is a major problem in this day and age. Someone will make a comment and the actual text of that comment gets blown out of proportion, by the recieving person. People tend to make a comment appear the way THEY want it to appear to them, when in fact it's more than often just a 'general comment'.
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/10/2007 11:12:23 PM | | Don't dwell on the marriage, love stuff. Enjoy the butterflies and fun of a new relationship. He seems very sweet, I'd focus on that. I think it's impossible to fall in love after three weeks. Love for me is based on feelings and trust that build over a longer period of time than that. It's lust not love. | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/11/2007 4:52:01 AM | | I totally agree with you all, I also don't think you can fall in love that fast. I am enjoying it and well keep enjoying it. My ideal way of doing it is date for a year, fall in love and then he propose's haha. | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/11/2007 12:28:37 PM | "My ideal way of doing it is date for a year, fall in love and then he propose's".
Proposes.
At one year.
Hmmm.
The problem with setting schedules and timeframes like this is that life doesn't care about calendar dates we arbitrarily come up with in our minds. So, in one year, if this guy isn't proposing, what does that mean? Will you end things with him, even if everything else is still great or better? Will you walk around all upset because he hasn't proposed and permit that to ruin your feelings and experiences and cast gloom on the relationship and maybe even wreck it?
Why not try this instead? No expectations at all. If he proposes whenever, you can be gleeful and decide to say either yes or no. If he doesn't propose ever and you never expect him to and just enjoy every day as a new day with him, then it will never bother you. | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/11/2007 1:04:30 PM | Most people that are older and want to get married at some point fairly early on will engage in some evaluation of whether the individual is marriage material because if they are not, it is pretty stupid to date them unless you specifically want a dating relationship without a commitment until you feel ready to take the plunge with the right person.
Because you have known each other for a fairly substantial period of time outside this relationship I don't think it is abnormal that he made the reference about the car wreck specifically to the two of you. It would have been just as true if he had spoken in general terms, and it doesn't sound like he is running out to get a ring next week. He may just be the type of person that likes to plan ahead a bit, talking about trips and such, but that does not mean that he is not aware that you two could find yourselves incompatible down the road.
If you are concerned that he might be moving a little too quickly for you in terms of planning a future, have a talk with him. Tell him that you care about him, you are having a really good time getting to know him better, but that you do not feel ready to get engaged or married anytime soon and you don't want to inadvertently hurt his feelings if he gets to that point faster than you. Subsequent conversations should show him when you are getting more comfortable as a couple and when the thought of an imminent engagement or marriage doesn't freak you out, tell him, either in a serious way or like, 'dude, if you want to buy me a ring, that is cool with me.' | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/11/2007 1:46:51 PM | | From the information you gave, it sounds like he's into you. It's still too early for the L word. | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/12/2007 2:50:20 AM | Well everyone, Yes he is the kind of guy that likes to plan life. I live from one day to the other, planning life just does not work for me. So I think we both can meet in the middle persay. I know he sure requires alot of attention, not that thats a bad thing. He still feels like he has to see me everyday, if just for a few minutes at work. I am going over to his house this evening to meet some of his friends. I introduced him to a few of my friends-co-workers yesterday, now that is a big step for me( believe it or not), I'm very professional at work.
So far he likes me for who I am and that is so cool, because we sure live different lifestyles. He is big on eating healthy and a libral, I smoke and he doesn't . I eat whats good and lean towards right wing. And well, humm okay, he is making up for alot of lost years for me in the loving department hehe. | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/12/2007 2:32:56 PM | You say he is different from you, does he ever say anything to you about you smoking or eating...It might start out as a joke but on down the line can change...
My concern is your child...I was married 20 years and raised my son and his 2 children...I will be the first to tell you it was the hardest thing I ever done...
He sounds like he likes alot of your attention...Speaking from when I was married, he could get jealous of you and your child and your kid could get jealous of him...You need to think things out more...There is alot more to think about than just him and what is going thru his head...Your child is still small, and how are you going to feel when he disagrees with your ideas of raising your child...Trust me that will happen....
Take time alot of time and watch him around your child...I dated my ex 2 years and as soon as we got married it all changed...GOOD luck...Annette | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/14/2007 10:31:57 AM | | Annette, I agree. I have not let him meet my son yet, I will date him for about two months before I let him meet anyone in my family. I just spent two days with him and things are still the same. I kinda had a little slow down talk with him last night but did not come right out and say it. Things are new to him right now and when the newest wears off then we will see what happens. I met some of his friends and they seem like good people so thats a plus. We both are learning the real us right now and that too will tell us if we are going to last. | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:43:11 AM | | Okay all, We are still going strong. We pretty much see each other everyday, even if it's for a few minutes. We have had the talk and now are exclusive. He is the kindest, sweetest guy and is spoiling me so far. | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/22/2007 5:24:00 AM | Irrational behavior is what I see on his part. Pure infatuation or neediness, not sure which. It appears he has no life apart from you. Looks like a "candle in the wind" romance instead of a slow warming of the heart and soul.
OP, let us know his level of commitment to his parents and siblings, let us know his level of sharing and intimacy in communicating with others. Best of luck. | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/23/2007 7:16:44 PM | | Okay, he loves his family and they are very close. He has lots of friends ( I have met a few of them). He is a people person like I am. He has no reason to feel lonely or needy for that matter and he could have a different girlfriend every week if he wanted too. Candle in the wind maybe, still too soon to tell. He has a life apart from me, but is wanting me to be apart of that life so far. Our last date was a dinner party with my sister and her boyfriend, so I am letting him be apart of my life also. It's just that we get along so well with each other in every aspect. We talk about everything, family, politics, religion ect and although we seem to think different on some things ( I a conservitive and he a liberal ) He still likes me for who I am and I still like him for who he is. | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/23/2007 8:57:41 PM | | If things move too fast then there is a reason, either you are lonely, he is lonely or you both are lonely... slow it down and get to see the real side of him first... it is ok to feel like it is love, but realistic, what do you know about him and his past history...does he have a new relationsip, or marriage every few months? So much to think about, but for ever afters don't come easy there is always a side you see after... don't wait get it out in the open first... then no more here afters can be mistaken....You will know if he loves you..... | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/24/2007 4:11:12 AM | | I really want to take your advice blond1 and there is not even a wisper of love on my part or his right now. I think things are kinda different because we were somewhat friends before starting to see each other. I'm just not use to these kinds of relationships. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 41 | |
| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/24/2007 1:36:02 PM |
I don't think that time lines can be put on love. Some people grow to love faster than other people do. Some people never love at all.
That's the theory my ex was using...he said that I 'fell in love with someone like HIM too fast and there HAD to be something wrong with ME--and love wasn't for HIM"...well, he may very well be right, I'll never know...he let me go. And, while it probably was for the best, it broke my heart just the same and I will always care about him. I don't regret at all saying how I felt, I'm just sorry he didn't feel the same (or allow himself to)...I thought we were on the same page too as far as our 'relationship' was concerned--so, OP: enjoy everything now, but don't get too caught up in the future--it might not be what u expect. (ofcourse, I hope it is for u--just be cautious) | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/24/2007 5:22:39 PM | Thank you Ahhh,
I'm sorry that happened to you and yes it can happen , that is why I am not letting myself fall in love with him yet or at least I keep telling myself that. All I know is if he is not serious then he is one of the biggest players ever and is good at it. I wished I could tell you something to make you feel better, but I really can't. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 43 | |
| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/25/2007 7:44:24 AM | Sillygoose...thank u for your kind words...I just came back from picking up my things from his house...that was one of the hardest things I've experienced in a long time...I am still crying as I type this. I hope ur boyfriend truly feels the same way about u as u do for him....
Don't deny yourself the feeling of love for him (or anyone), I don't regret loving him...I just regret that my love wasn't enough for him to make him want to stay with me.
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/25/2007 8:15:27 AM |
I have known him for about two years and we were somewhat friends until he asked me out.[\quote]
Here is perhaps the most important point in the entire posting. He's known you for two years. Perhaps he has been in love with you long before he asked you out. How 'worship from afar' translates into a committed relationship is a question.
Given your description. He is crazy about you. Enjoy. Straighten out your own feelings. Could you love him, or are you being swept away on the wave of his emotions.
Ketch | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/25/2007 8:21:56 AM | | Thats a entrapment question you throw at him, I wander what you would of said if he didn't use the word US intead YOU how would you respond eh your in a relationship the man was just think of that,there no big read to his statement man oh man | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/25/2007 8:28:22 AM | | Thats a entrapment question you throw at him, I wander what you would of said if he didn't use the word US intead YOU how would you respond eh your in a relationship the man was just think of that,there is no big read to his statement man oh man | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/26/2007 3:21:35 AM | | Ahhh I promise you this. One day a guy will find you that will worship the ground you walk on and then you will swear that this happened to you for a reason. Well we had a little talk about the Love word. He told me that he would be afraid of saying he loves me because I might say I don't love him back. I told him I was afraid of saying it for the same reason. Maybe we will fall in love with each other and never know it haha. He came into my work for a few minutes again yesterday to see me and gosh he looked so darn good. We are cooking dinner for a few friends tonight again ( we both are social people ) so that will be fun. He said that we just as well plan on spending our weekends together. Okay I think I am falling for him now, but it has just been a month (even though we see each other almost everyday). I will keep everyone posted and have a wonderful weekend my friends. | |
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| Does he love me?
Posted: 1/30/2007 10:10:18 AM | | Okay everyone, things are still going great. We are falling in love. We have spent so much time together that we pretty much know everything about one another. He is making me the happiest person in the world. Still only a month, so I hope I don't get my heart broken. | |
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