| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/11/2007 5:41:56 PM | I work in the industry - I've been working with financial planners for 8 years, all day long, day in and day out. Yes, it is VERY common for financial advisors to be friendly, take you out for lunch, drinks, dinner, send cards, etc. You are his CLIENT, and he is going to schmooze. Unlike other professionals, eg. doctors, they do make commission. And they hope to build a lifelong professional relationship with you, so that you invest ALL of your $ with them, and also refer everyone you know to them. One excellent relationship, for a financial advisor, is a potential goldmine. Not that it's not genuine - it is a service industry, after all, and it does require enjoying working with people. That said, there are some who really do enjoy working with people and helping them succeed financially, but believe me there ARE plenty more out there who are shady (we call them commission whores), or just don't know what the heck they're doing.
If it were me, I would take this as standard operating procedure - it just shows that he is doing is job very well. My advice would be to wait.. if he DOES in fact have an interest in you that is more than professional, believe me, you will find out sooner or later - financial advisors are sales people, and they like to pursue and they are not passive. You won't have to do a thing. If he doesn't pursue you, then you can safely assume he's not interested in that way. | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/11/2007 6:00:50 PM | Let's be clear on the betting rules. Him taking her out to lunch in this case does not constitute a "date". Him telling her he is interested in her socially and asking her out on a specific date, is a date. Unfortunately, we will never really know as this is the internet and people can say whatever the hell they want and we would neve know the difference LOL
But I still agree with ^^^ it's just business. | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/11/2007 8:21:29 PM | | Ive worked in financial securities for 16 years. We are not doctors nor lawyers. Occasionally we will date clients. Its not the best way to go but not against some major ethics either. It may be against some firms rules but Ive never seen that rule. But if he works for himself or if its not against his firms rules I bet he goes for it. I'd rather risk losing a client than losing Ms Right. :) | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/12/2007 1:27:52 AM | OMG Auntie Em--grrrrrrrrreat seeing YOU back again----missed you I have. Now, on to the other..............
As much as I admire and like your wonderful heart and spirit I hope this isn't one more guy who becomes an infatuation only to turn bad and cause you all sorts of grief. You've been though some very interesting men situations from what you've posted here occasionally and I hope this one doesn't turn out like those! My affection for you causes those thoughts so I hope they're taken with that in mind.
I don't think there are any huge ethical delimmas at work here-----he's only a financial advisor not a doctor or lawyer where such things are canonized. Mind you he does work on commisssions which is just a point of fact and not a warning per se. I simply mean SOME of his offers or recommendations could potentially enrich him which is his "job". Profit isn't bad----taking advantage is!
From what you describe here he IS into you--and who wouldn't be---you're pretty damn cute, etc! I've dated bank tellers, real estate women, insurance adjusters and aircraft saleswomen who I had similar interactions with over periods of time. Mostly we never mixed business with pleasure and almost made it a point to keep our jobs separate. A few times I even went so far as to decline a chance to do business with them in order to maintain that "professional distance" I thought would be a good idea. That seemed to work out very well for me.
Just proceed with caution only where it involves your money and your heart or hormones or even that dreaded libido! One can cloud the other and if you're not careful you might end up naked and screwed (figuratively and literally) and not even know how you go that way!! LOL
I'm hoping this is good guy for you!! | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/12/2007 2:00:36 AM | I don't know how much money you received from your settlement, but how do you know this flirty & friendly man is only interested in what you recently came into.
I feel you should end this relationship and go to another financial advisor. If this guy told you to buy moon pellets, I think you would not trust your own instincts and flirt. Money is Money and when it comes to investments, you should research what he has suggested. One other piece of advice, If you can't afford to lose it, don't invest it, since people should never invest in what they can't afford. Many years ago I work for a stock brokerage firm and saw alot of dumb mistakes, and people are often warned, but don't take the advice.
I don't care how gorgeous, drop dead, how flirtatious you both get, when it comes down to your money, you should be asking better questions & be careful. | |
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MJ_420
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Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 35 | |
| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:01:15 AM | | Trust me, while us Finanical Advisors try to be great at customer service (we love referals), it sounds like your guy is interested in more. And us Financial Advisors don't mind being hit on, just do it a little slyly so that if he isn't interested he can politely decline without affecting your business relationship. | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/12/2007 12:53:27 PM | Sayeth bravado55:
<div class="quote">#2. After reading your profile and all that pibble about the "Support Our Boobs" pic....
makes you appear STUPID and PROMISCUOUS too. You know well that lots of guys are
sex dogs and won't get your so-called 'breast cancer awareness message'. If he is a smart professional he will RUN from you....cute don't cut it all by itself girlfreeeeeeend and suspect you could be trouble with a capital T.
Why do you say this? I don't think she sounds either "STUPID" or "PROMISCUOUS". She is simply trying to explain to the idiot "sex dogs" what the shirt is about.
Of course, since I have embroidered and donated several garments with the breast cancer awareness ribbon, perhaps I'm ahead of the curve.
Either way, learn to read and not assume...
~Rick | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/12/2007 1:17:14 PM | | I WOULD NOT encourage you to involve yourself romantically with someone you have an "Agency relationship" with. your financial advisor has a fiduciary duty to you and that is a line that should not be blurred WHATSOEVER. WHAT HAPPENS IF HE MADE A MISTAKE WITH YOR INVESTMENT, it could potentially destroy your non-business relationship with him as well as your business relationship. Tread lightly............. | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/13/2007 7:52:24 AM | Mogli; Thanks for the support (no pun intended) Now I don't have to defend myself against that insulting poster, who is obviously ignorant!!
Ranger fan; All of your input is appreciated, Thank you much!
jwa..Hello friend. Yup, I do find these situations. I will tread lightly, but this one is different from alot of the rest of the jerks I've found myself attracted to.
packagedeal...Hi girlfriend! yeah, I told you about this one...here's an update;
I couldn't get into the city yesterday until late (it was well past lunchtime, in fact, after the market closed. I got there at 4:20. Now I loosely had a 'reason' to stop by in that I went there for a form I was hoping they had in the office I need. (they didn't).
When I arrived he seemed to be getting ready to leave. (He had his suit jacket on) I sat down at his desk, and for about 10 to 15 min we went over a couple things on my account (I no NOTHING about investments, so he answered a couple (I'm sure stupid to him) questions and the rest of the time I was there, we chatted 'socially'. Everyone in the office left and he and I were left alone, chatting about 'stuff'. We talked about his dad, home remodeling, our jobs, what we like about them, the independence (I'm a home care nurse) he told me about his vacations, how he used to just take time off of work on a whim, we talked about health issues (he told me he likes to go to the doctor for check ups once a year) we talked about football, the Eagles chances of winning, our favorite players, I TOLD HIM how I once dated a financial advisor (AT WHICH time he asked me WHAT HAPPENED??) and I told him (this was the guy who emailed me that he was dying...we talked about traveling (he's going to Jamaica in March, myself...Bermuda in March) (He asked me if I was going alone?) He's going to Vegas in May, me in February...we talked about gambling, and somewhere in all this, I did notice he had taken his suit jacket off and kind of kicked back at his desk, seemed really relaxed.
At about 5:25 he told me he would walk me out, that he was meeting someone at 5:30. It eneded up being 80% social stuff. (when we talked about our trips, he mentioned if I didn't have anyone to go with, I should go alone...and I said "I'm a girl, I can't go to an island alone!!...and he said "what about a singles thing?? to which I replied "Would you go on a singles 'thing'...LOL...and he said "I don't Know...."
So he walked me about a block away from where I was parked, stopped, I thanked him for his patience with my stupid questions, I complimented him on being concientious, (then he aked me HOW??) and then, offered his hand, we shook hands and he said "Thanks for coming down, I'll talk to you soon"
Now as some of you said, I KNOW I may be reading into this. Probably 'cause I'm into him.
I understand that FA's schmooze their clients. But he doesn't seem to be schmoozing me.
I want to keep the lines of communication open. I realize (I think) if he's interested in me THAT way, he'll ask me out. I'm just trying to figure out if I should let him know more directly??? Or just wait it out...and keep in contact...
Thanks all...
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/13/2007 7:55:41 AM | | Oh, PS....he has two partners within this firm. He explained to me he works for the 'company' but he chose to have partners with these two, so he could have back up when he takes vacations, etc...if there is a policy, I don't know how the 'company' would even know since at the office, the firm is composed of groups of advisors....3 or 4 working together...he did say he basically doesn't have a boss. | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/13/2007 2:19:50 PM | I'm in another area of the financial industry and have had clients before. I will tell you this, I wouldn't have a romantic relationship with a client and still manage their money. It's not necessarily unethical, it's just common sense. And that's only if you decide to start seeing each other about something besides your money management. A casual lunch or even dinner is common with clients. If something romantic starts to develop, it'd be best you have someone else at the firm take over your account.
It's the same with dating people from work, church, or other situations. If things are going well, it's all fine, but if something happens or you break up the fallout can be devastating. Think about it, hon, what if you're dating and he does something to tick you off AND he's managing your money!! Hopefully, he'd be professional about it, but that's just too much control. He could screw things up good and you'd never know.
Just take that precaution if you decide to start dating. It's very common to ask for another partner at a firm to take over your account, in fact, that'd be a good sign. If you did start to date and you asked for your account to be handled by someone else and he was good with the idea, then....yeah. That's a GOOD sign!
Hope it works out! | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/13/2007 6:35:40 PM | There was absolutely nothing in that last encounter to indicate he was remotely interested in you on any other level than casual business acquantance. He can like you, and not want you. He was completely professional, and acted exactly like my clients and business associates act when we have spent some time together.
Look elsewhere, it's not happening. | |
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Renda
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Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 45 | |
| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/14/2007 1:16:15 PM | | I work at John Hancock Insurance for a financial adviser who makes over a million dollars a year. I am also around many more during the day. It is not unheard of to take a client out for lunch if they are trying to make a big sell. They do not usually do it for a small sell, but if this person is going to invest a considerable amount of money, it is a common enough practice. | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/14/2007 2:33:40 PM | OP, why did you post this? You have made your decision and that is evident in your coming online to refute every opinion that is contrary to yours.
Did you come here looking for people to tell you that your choice was correct? For that you go to your best friend who will never ever say anything negative to you.
Chase the guy, don't chase the guy... you are going to do what you want anyway. And end up hurt from what I have read. At which point you will likely post a "All men are jerks" thread.... | |
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Nissim
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Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 48 | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/15/2007 11:35:48 AM | eastsideeddie...
What???????? How on earth did I refute everything people said that was contrary to my opinion? I posted factual details...not my own opinion. You lookin' for an argument or what??
Don't judge me. I don't hate guys either..and this won't turn into a 'All men are jerks thread'..
unless of course YOU do.....I have NO IDEA where you are coming from, dude??
You've got me scratchin my head?? I asked for advice.( and FYI some people have written me personally to reply) AND quite frankly, I have decided to shift my focus ELSEWHERE...
rotflmfao....you really crack me up!
I only posted one reply to this post so far! How in the world I 'refuted' every opinion??? OMG I'm really laughing!
TO THOSE WHO OFFERED A VALID OPINION AND SOUND ADVICE. Thanks. I'm taking it...and I have chosen to NOT PURSUE this guy...to redirect my interest which has lately been elsewhere...(someone I've been seeing, yes ;)....
Cheers to those who posted appropriately and not off the wall. | |
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| Help! I'm INTO my financial advisor...don't know what to do?????
Posted: 1/15/2007 11:46:12 AM | | Each company is a little different in this area, a lunch is very normal, most companies frown on their employee's having sex with the customers and running,,meaning using customers to get laid, but most companies dont mind as much if it is real and they are actually respecting the customer and mabye even the M word. Actually many companies will fire the employee that is fratinizing with the customers, so if his intentions are good, I am sure it will not get him in trouble. Am I clear here??? in laymens terms,, if fred the employee out boinking all the customers? or is fred the employee falling on love with one of the customers? that is a big differense. | |
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