| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 6:05:55 AM | I dont think its a date - but it is still creeping me out - I have friends who
have stepsisters and brothers and they are really close to them - like a birth
brother or sister - so this kinda doesnt sit right with me - Dont get me wrong -
have dinner, go out - but treat it like family - thats all.
Do you share a mother or father or is she from a whole different marriage - that would
make it different - she has seperate parents from you and your mom just married her dad-
is that the case??? That could change things a bit maybe. uhgggggggggg - and she just started contacting you again after the divorce - sounds like maybe she needs some family support here. Just go have dinner - you seem like a nice southern gentleman and she needs some company. But thats all right now!!! I am not from the south - obviously so I dont know - But in Philly - Oh hell no!! | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 6:17:21 AM | Step means your not related - dont share a parent -
well - okay - my friends have picked up family from marriages that
one had kids and the other had kids and the kids consider them thier
step brother or sister - No blood relation but still consider them thier brother or sister becuase
the parents are married. Man - Im confused. anyway-
Okay - well then that puts a different spin on things - but still - NO just go
out to dinner - I dont know dear - too close to home. Be careful with your feelings
here - I think you like her though and you may get your feelings hurt - remember- she
is going through a divorce which is very traumatic to begin with - just be there for her- as family. Hows that? | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 6:18:51 AM | | i dont see anything wrong with that if there not together then in my books shes single i did it myself but please be careful you dont want to hurt her like your brother i hope this eases your mind | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 6:23:27 AM | I have kids and a step daughter, they always lived together. They are basic brother and sisters because tey share a parent.
I can't imagine you would date your sister. I do not even want to put that thought in my mind. It's incest to me.
If she has a common parent with you, then take her out as your SISTER and nothing else, for God's sake. Otherwise she's up for grabs :) | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 6:47:01 AM | We DO NOT share a parent and we NEVER lived together....
But really people....I never considered this a "date" myself....I am only confused about her change in behavior towards me in the time since her separation....we will "go out together" on her birthday, have a good time...and leave it at that!
unless... | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 6:53:26 AM |
I am only confused about her change in behavior towards me in the time since her separation
The woman is lonely, she is looking for companionship. Get a freaking grip. If she wants to get laid, it is not likely she'll be choosing from her brothers, step or not. | |
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Deor
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Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 33 | |
| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 7:11:38 AM | personally i think
its all up to you and what makes you happy.
you can get everyones input on the situation if you want
but the truth is
if you like her and everyone says don't do it
well you miss out on happiness????
it is kind of a fine line
but she is not your blood sister!!!!!!!
now i'm not supporting brother sister relationships nor will i knock it
but all in all to me its like a man with a man, a woman with a woman, or a man or woman being with a Ts or Tv or Tg
whose to tell "YOU" who you can and can't be with!!!!!!!!!!
as far as taking her out for her birthday,
well its only a date if ya'll feel it is.
if you go out to lunch with co-workers is that a date?
or how about a friend who just graduated form college and ya'll go out for dinner,
is that still a date????
do you believe in destiny?
well if you do, and ya'll do get together
then it was meant to be.
and if ya'll don't get together
then it wasn't meant to be..............
life is short
and no human fully understands life
no offense
but uhhhh
ya'll not getting any younger
so do what you got to do
or want to do
to be happy for the rest of your life
or stay single and lonely till your time is up!
so what will you choose???????? | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 7:42:32 AM | I cant belive most of the ridculous coments on this thread. What the hell has some government issued peic of paper got to do with 2 adults that just happen to be in a mixed family that started when thes 2 members were obviously in there later teens or even early twentys.
Ihappen to come from a family that combined when my dad was in his 30's. One of dad's sisters was already married (for 13 years) to the son of the women that became my grandma and her youngest daughter was about 8 motnhs away from her wedding to marry my dads youngest brother. Oh my god I guess they should all get divorced.
there is no biological relation ship for starters and for a finish there is no prcedent noir a legal foundation for the term "step sister". Society has coined a few terms to identify particular relationships at the community level but that has no bearing on morality in this case. the term "step" in the context of mother, father, brother, sister in the greater majority of case does not conjure up fond memorys of hamonious family relationships. On the contary i generaly will reming those families of nasty estates battles in court that end up with form friends that just happened to be the victims of 2 people that fell in love in golden years of their lives, married and thne left the respective childern to fight over the estate. Its the kids that are the stupid ones in most cases and its because of attitudes like the ones expressed here.
Go for it bobby. just because your respctive parents fell in love and married has absolutly no bearing on weather or not you and your Step Sister choose to fall in love unless the 2 of you let it. what any body else says in this thread is pure balderdash. I know of several situations exactly like yours where marriage turned out to be tha happy result and a few that were turnd out to be big mistakes.
hhhmmmm ! funnny seems like th odds are about the same for every body based on current divorce rates.
Does that mean my dads uncle should divorce his SISTER in law too? they have been married for 12 years and are both in their late 90s.
the spelling sucks and that is my 2 cents worth
get a life people this is the real world not some TV soap. | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 7:44:32 AM | My ex and I each had children from previous relationships. I have daughters he has a son. They are all teenagers and were raised together for 12 years. My ex and I have no communication at all, however our children still view themselves as siblings and have a close, healthy relationship with each other nearly three years after the divorce.
Biology matters very little...you are siblings no matter what. Be supportive, be her friend most important be her brother...nothing more, nothing less. | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 7:47:07 AM | bert504:
"Go for it bobby. just because your respctive parents fell in love and married has absolutly no bearing on weather or not you and your Step Sister choose to fall in love unless the 2 of you let it. what any body else says in this thread is pure balderdash."
My thoughts exactly! | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 8:11:28 AM | | In general, I wouldn't say it's "wrong" to date a step sister, but it certainly isn't "right" either. There are millions of available women to date, why date a woman that with whom you share a familial history? | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 8:11:54 AM | Actually, I think the only possible issue here is that you are both separated and therefore probably a bit vulnerable. That has nothing to do with the fact that you have parents who happened to marry after you were both adults. Even if you had lived in the same household at one time, I see nothing wrong with it as long as you are both comfortable and on the same page. We find mates under many different circumstances. You probably happen to know her because your parents married. So what? You could have met her through mutual friends instead.
You could just ask her outright if she has any interest in you other than as a "brother figure"...... and if so, take it very slowly to be sure it is not just a rebound thing that would likely fizzle and spoil the friendship you already have.
Another option is to just continue to be supportive and friendly as before and see what develops. If she is interested in more, I am sure that will become apparent over time.
I agree with a previous post that suggested this is not the best place to seek advice. I don't know where all these people get the idea that there is anything wrong with dating someone who is, in fact, unrelated to you. That attitude seems very narrow-minded to me. Just ignore people who presume to judge you and do what is right for the two of you. Who cares what others think?
Good luck!  | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:22:49 AM | why cant you just go out with her like shes your real sister and show her that respect... or are you really telling us that you're looking for some affirmation of trying to be a dog and get in her pants.
because your question is so completely rediculous .. and you truly know what is right and what is wrong...
Taking your sister out because shes having hard times is admirable... taking advantage of her because of it is just assinine. | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:39:06 AM | Chemistry is a strange beast my friend. I have step siblings that I was raised with and would never date either one of them, but they've been "family" as long as I can remember. I dated a guy once that strongly resembled one of my step brothers and it gave me the willies, LOL.
Basically you were not raised with her, no genetic ties etc. I myself see no problem with it (put the bats down people). I do think she may be looking to replace the ex though. Use **CAUTION**. You are both adults and NOT related, what you do as consenting adults is nobody's business but your own.
:))
Witchy | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 10:25:57 AM | Whats with all this making assumptions and passing harsh judgement?
The OP has done a very nice job of explaining the situation and I saw nothing that led me to believe he is trying to "take advantage" of this woman! SHE has been seeking HIS company. He finds her attractive. He wonders if she is interested in dating him. They are both adults! Duh! I see nothing morally or ethically wrong with what he is suggesting. They weren't raised together and AREN'T siblings!!!
What if their parents had never married and they met some other way? What if they were the ones who met and married first, and then later their respective parents became close and started to date. Would that be wrong too? Do some people really think it is wrong for more than one couple to be formed from the same two unrelated families? Geez! I guess its first come first serve!  | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 11:13:08 AM | The part that creeps most of us out is that she's not hinting AT ALL that she wants anything more yet he's already got that in his mind that she does.
Ever stop to think that maybe she's going thru a rough time and just wants to get closer to someone who's a FAMILY member?
You're one of those guys that as soon as a woman smiles at you, you automatically think that she wants more then just that smile.
It's like that thread that coffeencreme guy started about dating when you were younger...'Oh that chick flipped me the bird! She wants me!'. | |
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RJB888
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Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 43 | |
| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 11:26:27 AM | How do you mean "step". both of you have different parents, or do you share a parent by blood?
I have 5 step bothers and sisters, we all share the same mother. So I would NEVER. Even if we didn't share the same blood I would NEVER. Just me. I find it morally (sp) wrong. Again that's just me. Oh just so you know I really don't like the term "step" when it comes to siblings. We love each other like real 100% blood family.
Now if you make it clear that it is NOT date, just a birthday dinner because she is your sister. Nothing wrong. But I get a feeling something else maybe going on or going to start going on by how you ask the question. | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 45 | |
| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 5:19:50 PM | This really is sick, You don't have to come from the same parents to be "family". this girl is your sister, you thinking about anything else with her is just wrong.....
The only place this is a date is in your mind, get your mind out the gutter and make sure your sister have a great time on her 40th birthday. Would you want to date your adopted sister?. At one point this girl was just like your adopted sister.....
Your sister is reaching out to you in her time of need.... be there for her as a brother, nothing more. it's making me queezy thinking about this. | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 5:22:45 PM | Hey come on people!...... they have only been step brother and sister 20 yrs 
 is right  | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 8:58:39 PM | I think I know what is going on in most everyone's minds on this thread...you are trying to come up with the worst scenario....in other words you think I WANT this to be a "date" so I can push the issue to have sex with her because thats how most people think about "dating"....dating equals sex....not true with everyone...maybe it is true with most Canadians from what I have read in the forums in the last few months!!... | |
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:38:04 PM | Yes, Canadians enjoy sex but we know enough not to "date" family members...
and from your own post
we will "go out together" on her birthday, have a good time...and leave it at that!
unless...
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| dating your step sister
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:58:46 PM | been there, done that...... no problem
dated my x-stepsister. became steps (our parents married, her mom my dad) i was 18, she about 12. life went on yrs passed and our parents got divorced...... about 18yrs later she moved back to the city..... we started dating after i broke up with my gf, it was pretty ok, good friends, great sex. didn't seem akward with the involved other family members. worked for us, lasted about 2 yrs. did i mention great sex................... wouldn't change a thing. | |
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