nik0
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Joined: 8/12/2006
Msg: 26 | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 1/14/2007 3:05:18 AM | Well, a couple of thoughts.
When you "aren't looking" you are just being yourself. When you "are looking" you are "trying to be yourself" , which means you actually are not. Your effort distracts from who you really are. You are not "in the moment" , but actually working towards a desired goal that you already can imagine. That can sometimes short out the actual process of attraction, because you are not focused on the person themselves.
Also, when you are not available you sometimes seem more desirable. That's just a human psychology. When I was using this site for dating, I'd message women in Montreal sometimes (after reading their profile, and seeing some possibility of a match), and simply ask them out for a coffee. The idea was simply to meet, and to see where it lead.
I probably succeeded one out of ten times, at the maximum. Most times the messages were deleted without being read. The number of women messaging me (for dating purposes) was rather small.
However, once I changed my profile to "forums only" and no longer contacted women to ask them out on dates, I suddenly became more popular (as compared to before). So, it seems the way to success in online dating is (at least in my case) to....refuse to date anyone online. 
I figure if I change my profile to "LEAVE ME ALONE !!! I'M SERIOUS !!!! " , I'll be married by June. | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 1/14/2007 3:51:31 AM | The OP gets the "Golden Nose Award" for sniffing out one of the 'quirks' of life!  | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 1/14/2007 8:04:05 AM | However, once I changed my profile to "forums only" and no longer contacted women to ask them out on dates, I suddenly became more popular (as compared to before). So, it seems the way to success in online dating is (at least in my case) to....refuse to date anyone online. I confirm this phenomen........it's true about me also
But that's so unfair | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 1/14/2007 8:06:10 AM | it is the look of desperation...
once it leaves your eyes.. you become more desirable...and people can see that you are having fun and all that... and they think...I want a piece of that pie! | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 1/14/2007 8:50:10 AM | | Sad, but true. I keep reading these posts here on PoF from this extremely sexy woman in Canada, who writes it like it for all she needs ...and is honest about oral sex being one of her "best weapons", but alas, she lives so far away and has set an age limit on who may contact her. "Here, kitty, kitty." | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 1/14/2007 10:12:53 AM | | Now that is a sad state of affairs!^^^^ OOPs! I meant, | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 1/14/2007 1:51:51 PM | | the women i know always complain that men in bars are always making rude sexual comments to them, grabbing their asses/breasts or constantly staring at them like they are a piece of meat. if they would just act a bit more like men than little boys at a playground marble scramble, they just may see some positive results. | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 1/27/2007 9:04:19 PM | | People want what they cannot have, just to see if they can have it anyway. | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 1/28/2007 1:17:13 AM | As to the meeting women at the mall thing. Lots of places (well atleast the retail places i have worked at) you can get fired or severely reprimanded for flirting too heavily or exchanging phone numbers and e-mail addresses with a guy you meet at work (and this included working men's fragrance demos at a department store and in a lingerie department). so i wouldnt be willing at all meet at guy at the place i was working.
OT: i hate those times when your little black book can produce nothing and then BAM the next week your calendar is full and your playing rock-paper-scissor to decide who you wanna date . . . wouldnt that be just my luck :( | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 1/28/2007 1:29:10 AM | i know this might sound kinda funny but ive found guys like me more in the winter..which reminds me ive only had 2 good snowball fights this winter.. and i WILL GO TOBAGANING!!!!havent gone in soo long and i miss it.
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| Weird but true
Posted: 1/28/2007 1:38:24 AM | When you're looking for sex, you probably put off the "desperate and horny" vibe...not attractive. But when you're not looking for sex (say, you're taken), then you're what we all can't have, so that is why we want you! You have become "forbidden fruit." Women are evil like that!  | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/16/2007 4:16:07 PM |
Think it's got something to do with the 'vibes'. Compare it to a dog on heat. People can 'sense' a longing for sex. Dressing up, bit of aftershave, slick the hair, wearing the tight jeans etc etc, when if you had just finished work, chances are you are not thinking about sex, so a woman would sense your vibes, thus going in for the kill.
It's the 'quiet acheivers' that some women have an affection for.
You wanna know about women? I was sitting in a bar after work not looking particularly Spiffy about 20 years ago, and this gorgeous woman was at the other end of the bar by herself. I sat there all night watching all the guys try their best stuff on her to no avail. I never said a word to her all night but we did exchange looks after each guy crashed and burned. At the end of the evening after eyeing each other I walked straight up to her and said: Are you ready? She hopped off the stool and walked out with me....and neither of us were drinking alcohol. I will humbly add that in my opinion I wasn't even close to being the best looking guy that hit on her.
Hope this gives some insight on women. lol ok ladies let's have it. | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/16/2007 6:01:50 PM | | /\/\/\/\/\/\/\ I agree lets hear what the ladies have to think! I remember one time I was at a bar in Edmonton, I didnt think I was the best looking guy etc, but being me by myself, i was getting checked out minding my own business, end of the night i couldnt stop dancing the ladies treated me awesome what a night!!! (no i didnt have sex but could have) | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/16/2007 6:10:37 PM | Blahblahblahblahblah You know, what a complete waste of time. THIS IS DUMB | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/16/2007 6:16:54 PM | | /\/\/\/\/\/\/\ who asked for your input | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/16/2007 6:23:53 PM | You did by posting the thread. If i offended you...
Good, This topic has been passed around in groups for years and years. Should I post a thread asking " How do I attract the opposite sex"? No, because its mundane. Serious questions deserve serious answers. I usually put alot of thought into my answers but if you notice how short everyones responses are you will realise that this thread is monotonus and used. If I had the choice to vote for deletion I would.
I wish they had a forum on this site for " Subjects that have been rehashed for centuries" Or " If you want to fallasleep POST HERE!"
Chaz | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/16/2007 6:31:25 PM | | Well just say you are going to sleep if other people want to say something then so be it. There still is a truth when not looking for sex thats when it happens, this thread hasnt even built up that big i think its ok to hear peoples thoughts, | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/16/2007 6:42:15 PM | Blahblahblahblahblah You know, what a complete waste of time. THIS IS DUMB
chazzt82....Hey loser just because you have been on here for years...and by the way...Why?
Doesn't mean we all have. "SO LIGHTEN UP MR FORUMS GURU" | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/16/2007 6:47:14 PM | | Women, like cats, are attracted to disinterest (or, more accurately, repelled by interest). | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/16/2007 8:23:01 PM | You make it sound as though 'sex' is like a cold that a person seeks in order to justify staying at home because of laziness and sloth....
How revolting that you can separate sex from the person; you and your kind scare the hell out of me. | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/16/2007 9:11:36 PM | I’ve noticed a related “thingy”
The skankier I look the more “come here” smiles I get from the gals. I kid you not. It has happened over and over.
When I am like working in the yard and have to make a run for something (look like hell) I keep my head down and don’t even check out the chicks ....... but they seem to perk up and smile at me.
I had one follow me around Office Max last year. I was trying to avoid her (she was cute) cuz I looked like hell.
The only thing I can think of. When we are NOT INTERESTED - they are.
When we are NOT in the radar mode - they notice that - when we are - they notice that also. | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/17/2007 2:14:22 PM | I had one follow me around Office Max last year. I was trying to avoid her (she was cute) cuz I looked like hell.
Ron...Ron...Ron...She was with Mall Security.
The skankier I look the more “come here” smiles I get from the gals. I kid you not. It has happened over and over.
Ron, I didn't know Skank Appeal applies toward men but I know that I like my women a little on the Trashy Side | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/28/2007 7:23:11 PM | I am gonna answer this from personal and observational TRUE field tests, lol...
It is because when you go out and are not *looking for it*, its the same effect as *the girlfriend*, meaning the chicks only come out when you have a girl. Well fellow PoF'rs, it is truly the vibes that the men put out. When a girl puts on her profile that she wants a down to earth *REAL* guy; this is the vibe you are putting out. You are being yourself! Being a bachelor myself, and also being on the road for the last 11 years, I have seen all sorts of male behavior. But the one type of male behavior I have seen score time and time again, from both my friends and strangers, is the *Meh, whatever* attitude. Think about it. When you have an old lady and hit the bar, ever notice that the girls come out of the wood work, and you say to either yourself or your bud, DAMN...where was that broad when I was single? Well folks, its all the attitude. It is also kind of a *Thrill of the hunt* type of meeting. Beleive it or not, you can be the hugest rolex wearing player in the world, and good old johnny on the bar not caring is gonna get more attention. It is all about being yourself and relaxxed. I know I do not have many posts on here, but I have been trolling these forums for a few weeks now and decided it's time to get my feet wet.
Again, think about it. It is more of the being yourself vibe, THAN anything. Girls, before you post replies regarding my man-theory, think about it! What would you rather be interested in, some fake bling wearing two-bit player..... or a guy sitting with his girl, that starts up casual conversation at the bar while waiting for drinks. Being completlely himself, knowing that he has a girl at the table, and unwittingly flirting. | |
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| Weird but true
Posted: 2/28/2007 7:33:43 PM | Or from a different angle, why is it that the guys you don't like ( the ones you show no interest in) you can never seem to get rid of (they are just dying to date you) and the ones you actually want to date, disappear and show no interest back. From now on, I'm going to 'pretend' indifference with every guy I'm interested in. Maybe the reverse psychology will work. | |
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