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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 1/19/2007 2:57:44 AM | I can pick up on some things very quickly, guys who get violent, certain types of addicts. Most of the time I will wait to see if my initial impression is right before tossing someone, with the exception of the above. When I'm wrong, boy am I wrong!
I do know about the violence thing, because I have been around every one of the guys I felt that about long enough to hear when it happens. One was my minister! I kept thinking, I must be wrong about his, he can't be an alcholic wife beater...but nope. He was. I trust that sense a whole lot more now. If I get that feeling in someone I'm considering dating, I don't want to find out I'm right, too late. | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 1/19/2007 3:34:48 AM | | For me it doesn't take long, Usually it's what comes out of their mouth. as far as looking at them i can make an assumption, normally it's takes 5 mins off conversation to figure them out. Then again "pre-conversation" I assume everybody's an a$$hole, I no longer give the benefit of the doubt. | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 1/19/2007 6:58:52 AM |
This woman was also a very nice person and, dummy me, almost missed that.
But you didn't, dbndon! While doing your initial sizing up you discovered something you could work with...at least temporarily. That sounds like it's still part of the size up process.
Don't you (this includes everyone reading this) think we look for different things with each person? Our reaction to that individual will vary according to what's going on at the time...for both of us. Some things that would cause an instant rejection (or acceptance) may be delayed, because we know that whatever our spider sense is picking up is ok for the short-term...however it might not be for the long-term.
A good friend once told me that every interaction/relationship/encounter we have is for a reason. The reasons will be very different each time. We kick ourselves for 'putting up with that man/woman', but maybe we should try to look at what we've gained from the experience. Maybe we will find out something about ourselves we didn't know...like what we will put up with in a relationship, for instance. Or maybe we just needed someone in our life to get through a rough spot and once we are ok again, we drift away. It may be a cop out, but really, isn’t that what life is? a series of varied experiences that we learn from? Personally, I find comfort in this thinking. At least I don't beat myself up for all my past mistakes. Instead, I can look positively at the time spent and try to figure out what the lesson was. | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 1/19/2007 11:44:24 AM | .
Don't you (this includes everyone reading this) think we look for different things with each person? There’s probably some truth to that, but I’m not too sure how it applies to me and my relationship with women.
For instance, I’m often instantly attracted women who present an attitude of being happy, kind, open and trusting. That starts the instant attraction. Through in intelligence and inquisitiveness, too, and there’s a good chance we’ll be talking for a while. Problem is, there’s a whole subset of single women out there who seem to have many fears about men and that flusters me a little when that type of behavior is expressed with me.
Of course, I’m talking about instant public meetings here, not long term friends. When I sense an element of apprehension or fear in them I sometimes think it is me and either want to move on quickly or shut down enough to insure she’ll feel good vibes about me. Either way, though, I’m probably wrong. Leaving too quickly doesn’t allow us to get to know anything about each other. Being too nice and friendly sometimes gets them more interested in me than they should be.
Point is, there are good moments to be shared with all of them. Unlike some people report, I don’t get fluffed off in public and do not want to be seen as acting like that with anyone. But, to get things right with each person while socializing in public is not always easy. So, yeah, different things with different people. Which means, no kidding around or horseplay with those women who think of themselves as serious women -- which, for me, means I have to tone everything down a lot. 
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 1/19/2007 3:29:00 PM | Back to POF for 10 minutes..only:(
hmmm It seems like everyone in this thread is a top world psychic. we have 98% accurate, 97% etc.. all in the 90s. Top psychics are below that.
Anyone below 50% accurate? NOT on this thread
50% accurate is darn good!!!!!!!!
I have been misdjudged quite a number of times in my life as we all have.
Let's be humble and say it as it truly is. It takes character to be such in an egocentric environment.
There cannot be clean gut instincts when there is energy interference such as prejudgment, bias, negativity, chronic suspiscion (where everyone is always a suspect and guilty without parole),stubborness, body energy levels, environmental energy and a multitude of other factors...
To have clear gut feelings (psychic) you must be a genuinly caring, positive, non-judgmental, always trusting until proven otherwise, not stubborn etc...type of a person.
Be back next week! | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 1/19/2007 5:56:06 PM |
A good friend once told me that every interaction/relationship/encounter we have is for a reason. The reasons will be very different each time.
Hmm.. Not every interaction, but yes, there are specific meetings of minds that I am..alerted to by gut feeling alone...that they are important, that I am to learn something from them.
I pay attention. The lesson and the triggering point will not be known in advance. Sometimes I must be very patient. But - I have never been wrong yet when I have this cautionary twitch to pay close attention to the words of another. | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 1/19/2007 6:02:26 PM | It turned out I had always been wrong. for if I hadn't been wrong in the assessment, I wouldn't be single now.
Why were I wrong? Cause I go with the presumption of this forumla " what he says= what he thinks" which tuend out to be completely wrong.
I'm not into decoding and digging secret emanings and mind games. that's for losers and majority of them were losers,in my case. | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 1/19/2007 6:26:49 PM | I've most always trusted my instincts. Only been wrong when I didn't go with them, they've never failed me yet. But I don't always "size up" people in the same length of time. Sometimes it's nearly immediate and obvious, sometimes it takes a bit longer.
I observe things about people that most don't, it's almost a curse, but it's served me well. I tend to pick up on the nuances, the subtle things that people don't even realize about themselves. Hey, if they ask, I tell them, usually to their surprise. | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 2/5/2007 9:54:29 PM | | I guess I'm not a career dater like many of you, and don't spend alot of time sizeing up someone. Maybe it's because, many a woman seem looking for the big bucks and most men could care less if the woman has bus-fare home, but more than willing to take her there. I say the the size up skills belong to women seeking something other than just a regular relationship, where both may have nothing in the way of wealth, but finding each other and loving each other. And if that is not enough, then I was right all the time about the money part. I'm laughing now about what I would try and fool someone about, I guess I'm already interesting enough, why bother. | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 2/5/2007 10:25:19 PM | see i really think that people over "rate" what there gut is telling them.
"Guts" dont provide a total assessment on someone...they tend to provide much simplier reactions...like "danger" or " not danger" "i want to have hot monkey sex with you or not" ...lol.
I think ones gut instincts about someone that way are always right...however anyone that thinks they can sum up the complete enigma that we all are is well rather looney..
Body language is not an exact science....it gives "indications" of ones mental and physcial state at that moment and in that "context"...it again does not "sum up" or "size up" anyone.
Sizing up someone is a process not a decision.
You can tell only a few things quickly...am i attracted to this person?...and is my "spidey sense" tingling?....the "sizing" up of someone i think tends to reveal more about ourselves in how we "judge" someone through our own filters..
We definately make "snap" decsisions about people...but really once youve made your decision youre really no longer evaluating...your just looking for confirmation about your earlier "decision". | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 2/5/2007 10:57:42 PM |
I guess I'm not a career dater like many of you
Was this thread for career daters? I didn't realize. I thought it was a general question related to day-to-day interactions with others. Guess I shouldn't have commented earlier, since I'm not a 'career dater', nor do I know anyone who fits that description. Thank goodness.
Regardless...
@ yooohoooty
Sounds like you've run into some real winners...makes me ashamed of my gender sometimes. Given the nature of a lot of humans, I think I'll just hang out with my dogs. They don't care how much money I have (or don't have) as long as I love them and continue to feed them.  | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 2/6/2007 8:02:57 AM | When I meet someone, I don't think it's fair to make a snap decision on "gut instincts". Often people are nervous, shy, too talkative, etc to portray the real person that they really are underneath the picture they are trying to present. Initial conversations are often limited to just comparing general notes about family, life experiences, etc. It's only after a few conversations when discussions about values, dreams, goals, hobbies and interests begin to occur that I am finally able to "size up" someone. This is why I don't attach a lot of importance to "first impressions" and "chemistry". I don't like the idea of missing out on gaining a new friend due to miscommunication and unsubstantiated "gut instincts".
Several times I have had discussions with dates where we both agreed that we were not likely to ever become involved in a relationship and that we simply agreed to remain friends. As the days, weeks and months passed and we came to know each other better through casual friendship, I believe that the possibility of a future relationship actually increases as we slowly get to know each other in a more casual and relaxed manner. | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 2/6/2007 8:16:33 AM |
What do you think is the biggest “give away?”
If you ask questions and let people talk (without obvious disapproval) they will generally be very open.
It may not be "fair" to make snap decisions on "gut instincts" but in most (of my) cases of misjudging (both neg & pos) there was something I chose to ignore or overlook. | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 2/6/2007 8:40:25 AM | | Usually I do not like to pre judge anyone, especially when initial chat begins over the net.... can say that my instincts will kick in very quickly and from there I can decide whether or not I am right, or vice versa, for the one I am talking to. Lately, and I hate to admit this, lol, I have been taken in by some real smooth talkers, always used to think I was intelligent and usually on the "mark" but count me in as being one of those who falls under the 98 percent catagory!! | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 71 | |
| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 2/6/2007 8:51:22 AM | That's hard to determine since I immediately dump the guys whom I "size up" to be unacceptable. Who knows.....maybe I was wrong, too quick to judge and maybe they were great guys but I sized them up wrong. So...that I'll never know.
On the other hand, the ones that I "size up" to be good guys....well it takes me a LONGGGGG
LONGGGGGGGGGGGGG LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG time to come to any conclusions. I go slow and easy....taking my time, observing, listening, watching, and slowwwwwly I will size him up to be acceptable.
But............sad to say....even with all my caution and time put into it I can still be completely wrong. I had a platonic only FRIEND on this site for 1.5 years of daily conversations. After all that time I certainly sized him up to be a good one. Then all of a sudden.....blam...POW...bang....he turned out to be a regular ol bozo schmuck...and revealed his evil side...
So takes me a long time and I can still be wrong. Or I can size em up fast and be wrong.
Who knows? Who cares?? It's fun and entertaining goofin around in the pond.... | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 2/6/2007 9:56:36 AM | Well, I gotta admit my radar doesn't work all that well. I don't tend to look for the bad in anyone until I have a reason to, and then it's usually too late. And I get sucked in by bullshit quite frequently, but figure it out fairly quick after a couple of red flags. The liars and cheaters seem to gravitate towards me for some reason.... | |
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| How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong?
Posted: 2/7/2007 4:02:36 PM | The ONLY reason I'm on this site is because I'm dead on accurate every damn time about men! My friends were constantly asking me to evaluate men who contacted them.. It's very easy in most profiles to pick out the underlying intentions of men! And if after reading a profile I still have a not so sure feeling when they IM a dude I can tell in less than 2 minutes if he's worth their time!
The only thing my roomies and I disagree on is looks... other than that... my evaluations are priceless lol! | |
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