| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 1/14/2007 10:08:24 AM | EEK! You people have been listening , reading...and apparantly buying into: Way too much pop pshchocology psycho-babble..... anylitical trend speech!
What comes out of peoples mouths can be revealing, interesting and helpful. (I emphasis the Can part). But the Mouth, unfortunately is one of our most mis-used and abused instruments. (speech). for all you enlightened Love seekers who are prepared to kick your prospective lovers out of the plane at the slightest utterence of something that doesn't fit into your pre-concieved (pschyo-babble driven) reactionary ideas.... I say: Your'e probably going to jettison a lot of great people.
BEHAVIOR. If you really want to know someone's true sentiments. Pay attention to their behavior. and you must be smart about this. Love is not about words, or flowers, or gifts or any of that stuff. Its about how someone treats us over time in the day to day course of life. | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 1/14/2007 10:10:39 AM | A need is a want, a requirement or necessity.
Now mspiggy, I will ask you this, does that sound like a description of Love?
Wanting is not the same as Loving....
Jmho
 Curly | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 1/14/2007 11:09:18 AM | I've noticed that the word "need" is one of those button pressing words.
Some needs indicate expectations... And needing someone or something can be scary because we may not be able to live up to that need. Some times a persons needs are completely irrational. I was talking to someone about this topic and jealousy because these concepts seem so illusive to make real meaning out of them.
I think when we are getting to know someone we flag certain words to keep a watchful eye on things to protect ourselves from potential disaster. things either feel right or they don't. if they don't thats when we need to keep a watchful eye. If we are constantly on guard i think we will find many things that are going to seem like there is something wrong with the other person.
Getting to know someone we need to look beyond the surface. sure behaviors and key words have meaning. But we often, we will read into these things based on our previous experiences instead of finding out what has made a person use such defense mechanisms. I have so many so called red flags, but i think i'm a great guy, or at least i do now. It took the eyes of someone special to see me for who i really am. Look past some of the things i said or did.
We all hurt we all hide parts of ourselves that have been damaged by careless people. And those things "need" healing. I think it takes finding someone who resonates deeply with who we are to see past the surface. I know i used to be hyper focused on red flags and possible expectations. Meeting the person i Love now It wouldn't matter what behaviors or things she may say. Because i know her and her heart, if she suffers i suffer and if i suffer she suffers.
I hope you all find someone who the word need seems like an opportunity to Love more deeply. And not a deep well that can never be filled by you. there is a difference and your heart will know.
crazylilting | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 29 | |
| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 1/14/2007 11:09:40 AM | Nope, it's two different types of feelings. There's different types of love which includes: romantic and platonic. You can need someone but not love them from a romantic standpoint or vice versa.
Personally, I'd rather be "wanted" than "needed". If someone says "I need you", pay heed to how they are saying it, where you are at in the relationship, and their tone of voice. Sometimes when someone comes across too "needy" its because they are lacking something that they require. | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 1/14/2007 3:16:06 PM | | Not the same thing to me. It's nice when a guy says he needs me, but I've always said I'd rather be with a guy who WANTS to be with me, rather than NEEDS to be with me. | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 1/14/2007 4:36:12 PM | I means him.
You means you.
Need means:
1. A condition or situation in which something is required or wanted: crops in need of water; a need for affection.
2. Something required or wanted; a requisite: "Those of us who led the charge for these women's issues ... shared a common vision in the needs of women" Olympia Snowe.
3. Necessity; obligation: There is no need for you to go.
4. A condition of poverty or misfortune: The family is in dire need.
A person can need you and love you. Whether that's what is going on in your scenario or not, I do not know. Not that psychic. | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 1/14/2007 5:46:28 PM | I do not think the two go hand in hand. Meat loaf said it best
I want you.
I need you
but there aint no way I am ever going to love you
Now dont be sad
2 outta 3 aint bad
/34 posts into the thread and I am the first to say it??????
// Slashies make posts more fun on another site I frequent | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 1/14/2007 6:17:16 PM | Message 34 - did you actually read all the other posts? I guess not, as Message 17 said it first.
And I agree with you both ... except maybe the part about the "slashies".
BCAngel | |
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lorie1
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Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 37 | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 3/15/2007 12:32:14 PM | | well,if hes mending the car and says he needs you,its not i love you.if he phones you at 2am and says i really need you,then it sounds sincere.are you uncomfortable about being relied upon emotionally by others? | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 3/15/2007 1:05:41 PM | "I need you" and "I love you" are two completely different things. I had someone tell me he loved me, but then when we fought say "I want you but I don't NEED you" (boy, did THAT one make me feel special....)
In my experience....I've love and been loved. And never once has any man who ever said he loves me actually said he needs me. I guess it all depends on the person. Need is more about selfishness--You're more concerned about your feelings than the other person;love (real love, that is), is more about selfLESSness--it's about looking outside of your emotional bubble and wanting what's best for someone else.
In a real relationship--where there's trust and respect--you should have a little bit of both. | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 5/4/2007 6:24:22 PM | | I feel if you truly love your partner then you should also need them in the sense of needing their compassion,...their companionship and many other attributes that attracted you to one another but that is a far cry from just needing someone as a result of insecurities or sexual gratification | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 5/4/2007 6:37:44 PM | Close. If I were to tell a woman "I need you", "I love you" would be hot on it's heels. Like floating a balloon and looking at the reaction.
(is she going to bolt if I tell her how I really feel?) But that's me. | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 5/4/2007 6:54:53 PM | | Nope..Needing someone is different then loving someone..Need is like needing a new pair of shoes cuz they are worn out, loving your shoes is like just adoring them cuz they are your best pair :) | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 5/4/2007 6:58:53 PM |
If you really want to know someone's true sentiments. Pay attention to their behavior. For the layman I agree. But fundamentaly, I don't.
While there are a few companies who can do simpe text analysis, only one can include the psychological component. Dr. Tunnell who developed Psycholinguistic Paterning has a company that teaches Army, Investigators, Law enforcement, and Corporations, how to interview or interogate potential corporate officers, suspects, or terror suspects. He's trained RCMP, FBI, RAND among others. (The nature of my work led me to deal with them).
What is really cool, is that you can get someone's email (or a few bundled together) and paste it into his web page, and have the email or letter or whatever, analysed for unthruths.
Look for online text analysis at www.forensitec.com | |
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| Does I NEED YOU mean I LOVE YOU?
Posted: 5/5/2007 12:48:09 AM | No its not.
Its can be a component of love, but not the same. Someone can love somebody but needing them is optional [ friendships, family]. You can need someone and not love them. [ doctor, lawyer, financial consultant etc etc]
There are so many different types of need. In your case I would take his statement of as part of a caring statement but I would not equate it with saying I love you. Both are equally nice, dont get me wrong. It is nice to be needed and nice to hear. But as I said to me one is part of the other. He should be able to say he loves you as well, because to me love covers the whole range of components that goes into a loving relationship, need -want - desire - trust -respect...etc | |
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